Annotation:

I do not own Star Trek or any of those characters.

I am not a Trekkie. I love to watch Star Trek, especially TNG. I grew up with those characters.

I always loved the dynamic between Picard and Crusher. I loved their relationship and the goosebumps they were giving me.

So I thought I do a little story to explore what Picard might have thought at some points.

Oh and by the way. English is not my mother tongue. So whoever finds a mistake might keep it.

And now: enjoy!

Encounter at Farpoint

Captains very personal Log

I cannot believe myself. We have just left Farpoint Station were we picked up the rest of the Enterprise's crew and manage to kind of escape from a being called Q that seems to be almighty but also seems to make me responsible for every illness mankind had ever done.

But the only thing that is really bothering me is Her. The only thing my mind is running in circles around is that look she gave me when l barked at her on the bridge upon that kid of hers. Damn me. She was darn right. I was overreacting. And she made that clear to me in a way only she can. Her blue eyes, cold as ice staring into me, informing me that I was wrong! Damn her. How dare she. In front of the new crew.

But that's her. Never short of an answer. Not backing of but stepping right into the battle. I always admired her for that. To be bold and straight forward. As long as she knows what she has to say is true she will blunt it out to anybody and not even stop at telling an admiral.

Jean Luc leaned back an smiled inwardly remembering the incident back than on earth! It felt like a century ago. Jack still alive. Beverly on her first assignment the tree of them at a Starfleet party and General Henderson, an elder doctor hunting literally every skirt in Starfleet Medical. He had grabbed her but and like many others before whispering something into her ear. She turned around and looked him in the eyes. Her look ice cold, her manner straight. Loud and clearly some dozen people around them could hear her steady voice telling him that he should rather grab a drink for his with than young women's asses.

The admiral looked at her in disbelief none had ever dared to say anything. People around them held their breaths. Henson was to be known to not keep his hands of young women and as he was so influencial he could ruin young careers easily! And he would. He had done it before. He tried on Beverly but although so young she had managed to prove herself one of the best doctors to emerge from the academy to become.

He sighed. A year later the admiral left Starfleet. But that was a different story.

Jean Luc got up, went to the replicator and ordered a cup of Earl Grey. He balanced the saucer and the cup to the window admiring the view. The stamens coming up from the cup condensates on the window. He looked down I to the cup and for a moment a ghost flushed over him when he saw Beverly's face mirrored in the golden liquid. He took a big sip and went back to his desk.

Beverly. It was my own fault. Why did I even order her to report in the bridge I stead of welcoming her in sick bay? It was unprofessional of me. I hate to admit it but I might have been afraid meeting her alone. After all. After all this years.

He sighed. Looking into space again he tried to gain his calamity again.

I must conquer that. I must! She cannot have wanted to be on a ship with me. With me of all people. It must be a mistake. And how should I endure the sight of her reminding me...

His thought were drifting away. He got up streched his legs and went to sickbay.

Captain's Log supplementel

I just made a complete fool out of myself. I went to her office to talk her into leaving this ship. I came there with the authority of a teenager. I almost stumbled over my own feet not to talk about my own words. She looked at me with her amazing blue eyes telling me she had requested to be assigned to the Enterprise. I stood there not knowing what to say. So I left and then I managed to squeeze out the most stupid of all sentences I mentioned towards her today. We might be friends.

Close log.

Picard leaned back in his chair. His mind was busy and his head started to ache. So now she is here. A daily reminder of his dead friend. The best friend he ever had. It even might be it was the only real friend he ever had. Ever since Jack's death he had kept a professional distance between him and his crew. He had become a little lonely but then again he never had had the need for much company and many friends. Maybe that was why he had stayed single. Not that he had not had women. Oh yes. He had had his share in the other sex but none of the ladies could have tempted him to share his life.

None but one and that one he never had had the pleasure to make love to.

He got up from his desk, ordered another cup of Earl Grey and went to his bedroom. He lay down on his bed and closed his eyes but soon opened them again when before his inner eye a burning fire of red hair appeared.