The city lights swam in the distance. Sarah blinked. Still a blur. Not that it mattered. There was nothing she needed to see. She wouldn't miss any of it when she was gone. She especially wouldn't miss her, the monkey that had been on her back this whole day. She was here now, a blurry shape among all the rest.
One way out, Sarah, she said. An echo in Sarah's head. It's quick. Painless. I should know.
Sarah screamed. It sounded hollow. Weak. But it was all she had left. She stepped onto the railing and leaned over. The ground below was all she could make out through the haze. It looked inviting. A train shot by under her and rattled the metal she clung to.
"Sestra?"
What? What now? Sarah reluctantly turned her head. Another figure she couldn't quite make out. But there was no mistaking that mess of blonde curls.
"Helena," Sarah said, almost to convince herself she was really standing there. That it wasn't another ghost there to give her shit. "What are you doing here?"
"I thought you might be in trouble." The words came out in a high pitch. She sounded worried. "I felt it."
Sarah wanted to ask how she had found her, but there was no point. She knew what the answer would be. We have a connection. It didn't make much sense to Sarah, but none of this did. As if on cue, she heard Beth's derisive laugh in her mind.
This one. I forget, how many of us did she murder before she decided she cared?
Sarah opened her mouth to defend her sister, then stopped. She was talking to a ghost. She'd finally lost her mind. She slammed her fist hard into the railing in frustration. As the numbness wore off, she felt the firm but gentle touch of Helena's hand on hers.
"You are very cold," Helena said, quickly withdrawing her hand. Sarah had stopped feeling it a while ago. She had retreated too deep within herself to care. "Here." Helena had pulled some fuzzy mittens from one of her many pockets, and was delicately guiding them onto Sarah's hands. Sarah chuckled. Some small part of her had allowed her to laugh.
"I'm sorry I didn't come to see you," Sarah said as she watched her twin slip the mittens on. "Sorry I've been such a shite sister."
"No," Helena said, finally finished. She didn't remove her hands from Sarah's. "You saved me. From darkness. My babies will be safe because of you." She leaned over and pressed her forehead into Sarah's shoulder. "You are the sestra I always wished to have."
Sarah felt a twisting deep in her stomach. Her chest tightened. It was the first real feeling she'd had all day. For a brief moment, she forget about everything that had happened. Then it ended.
"I fucked everything up, Helena," she said. Helena raised her head to look at her. "Our sisters are all gonna get worse... and then they're gonna die. And it's my fault." The numbness was back. Another train whirred past. She pictured herself in its path.
What are you waiting for?
Beth's voice was right in her ear now. It rattled around inside her skull.
It's what you want, right? End it.
"We will fix it."
Sarah slowly turned toward Helena's voice, and finally saw her clearly.
"We will fix it together."
Sarah knew Helena had no idea what had happened. None of it. Still, she could see the earnestness in Helena's eyes. Helena believed it. And a piece of Sarah believed it too. A piece of her that grew and grew as they looked at each other. And she saw her sister. A sister she couldn't bear to leave.
A sharp wind hit Sarah's face, and suddenly, she was freezing. No, that wasn't it. She only just realized she was freezing. Slowly, she stepped down from the railing.
Your sisters need you, Sarah. Beth's voice was just a whisper in the distance now. And you need them.
Sarah eyes stung. She hunched over, shivering, tears cascading onto the pavement. She felt it all now. The pain she'd been too afraid to let in. Her body shook with violent sobs. Then she felt her sister's arms around her. She felt her warmth. It cut and tore through her, and it was everything she needed. She wrapped her arms around her sister and clung desperately to her shoulders. She buried herself in her neck, drowned herself in her hair. She was home. They stood there, lost in each other, until Helena spoke.
"Come, sestra. Let's find a place to eat."
Sarah laughed in fits and starts like a child, shaking free warm tears. She moved to Helena's side, sliding her arms around her neck. She wasn't ready to let go. She rested her head on her twin's shoulder, and together, they walked. She gently closed her eyes, exhausted. Helena would lead the way.
"Thank you, meathead." She felt her sister's head lean against hers.