A/N: Large parts deleted after I realized how stupid they sounded. Thanks to the guy who left the long review. My writing sucks so I really appreciated the constructive criticism.

Disclaimer: I do not own Fate/Stay Night or Harry Potter

===Chapter 1===

"Can I help you?" The girl asked, her voice pleasant but her eyes suspicious.

The young man gave her a lop sided grin and handed her a slip of paper. The girl took it warily and with a brief reading, pointed to the foreigner district of Fuyuki before hurrying off.

Nice ass. The young man thought, whistling appreciatively as he watched her go. He had been impressed with Japanese school uniforms every since he arrived. They had a certain allure that wizarding school robes just couldn't hope to beat.

Sighing quietly to himself, the young man disappeared with a small pop, reappearing in a dark alley in the general direction that the girl pointed to. He asked another girl for directions and disappeared after she walked away. He repeated the process until he reached his destination, an large, two story house among a row of other houses that looked almost exactly like the it.

He took another piece of paper out of his pocket and stared at the space between two houses, watching impatiently as a third house grew from in between the two. He walked up its steps and went inside, calling the house elf in charge of the place to come to him.

An elderly elf wearing a clean, white toga. "It has been a long time since a Potter has last graced this dwelling with his presence. Please call me Sebastian."

"Sebastian? Don't elves usually have cute, two syllable names?"

"Previous master decided to change my name, sir."

"Pfft. Anyways, my name is Harry. Show me around."

They toured the house, occasionally stopping in one of its many rooms. The kitchen, living room, bathrooms, and bedrooms were all well maintained. It appears that the house elf had been receiving magic from the ley lines in the city for sustenance, much like the house elves in Hogwarts did. Harry bonded the house elf to him and called another house elf named Dobby from his other house to deliver his belongings and materials.

They spent most of the afternoon unpacking and reorganizing the house. There was a library in the basement containing the research of the previous Potters who resided there. Harry duplicated the books and sent them to Dobby to update his personal library. His phoenix came in a short while later in a burst of blue flames and nipped him affectionately in the ear. She had been a bit irritable lately after he left England and started traveling the world. He had given her free reign to go wherever she wants but in the end, she had chosen to stay with him and laugh at him every time he got into trouble. Not that she actually laughed of course but he could tell. In a way, phoenixes are more expressive than owls could ever hope to be.

He suppressed a shudder at the thought of England. It turned into a very scary place after he defeated the Dark Lord a year ago. Many rumors sprung about the source of his immense magical power and he found himself many stalkers every since. It became so bad that he had to leave the country to get a peace of mind.

===The next day===

Harry woke up to the sound of phoenix song. The large, blue bird in question pecked him in the head multiple times until he got up with a groan. Guessing the name of the phoenix had been pretty hard. He had tried calling it Hedwig after his deceased owl only to be viciously attacked with fiery beaks and claws. After nearly three months of guessing, he finally figured out its name, Ambrosia. There was a loud beeping sound and he immediately headed downstairs, muttering something about annoying stalkers.

In the basement next to the library was an unused room that he took the liberty to turn into a command center. Mirrors floated all over the place, reflecting events all over the world in real time. In the center of a desk was an especially large mirror that flashed a bright green.

Harry pointed the Elder Wand at the mirror, activating it. He had been skeptical at first after he combined the power of his holly and phoenix feather wand with the Sword of Gryffindor and it had taken a bit of time to get used to learning to cast spells using the sword. It came as a relief that the Elder Wand was miraculously unaffected by the resulting blast that took out the Dark Lord a year ago. Casting spells using a wand just came more naturally to him than with a staff or a sword.

The mirror turned white and showed a young woman with bushy brown hair glaring at him.

"Where did you go this time, Potter?" She asked in an icy tone.

"Holy mother of Satan... scared me for a second there. You sounded exactly like McGonagall, Hermione!"

A vein throbbed on her forehead and an ominous aura surrounded her, giving Harry goosebumps.

"Whoa there. Calm down, I swear you'll get a stroke one of these days."

"It's all your fault!" She screeched. "Every time you leave on these 'business trips' of yours, you always end up causing me a headache!"

"What did I do?" He asked innocently.

"Y—you— … enemy of all women! Playing around with women like that... it's unforgivable!"

"Hey it's not my fault they believed that stupid rumor."

"So you're saying your semen is not the elixir of life?"

Harry snorted. "Of course not. No matter how powerful a wizard is, drinking his semen does not grant a person immortality."

"Then you should have made that clear before you slept with all those women!"

"Hey, they were the ones who came on to me. I told them before we ever did anything that those rumors are false but still wanted to do it anyways. Not my fault they got addicted to my godly technique."

"Being the most powerful wizard to exist since the time of Merlin does not mean you can just do whatever you want, Harry."

"Hey, you weren't complaining when we did it that one time..."

"That was an accident! A mistake! We were both drunk and neither of us remembered what happened so it doesn't count."

"Why did you call me anyways? Surely a professor at Hogwarts have more important things to do than rant at a guy thousands of miles away."

Hermione's expression turned business-like in a second. "We want you back, Harry. I know this is too much to ask after all you've been through but the wizarding world wants its hero back."

Harry's face darkened. "Tell it to go fuck itself."

"Harry..." Her tone contained a hint of pleading.

"Hermione, please understand. I've spent at least half my waking hours having sex with most of the women there for the last three months. I'm suffering from extreme sexual exhaustion. A man can only go for a week of nonstop sex before he needs to take a break."

Hermione sighed in defeat. "And just how is traveling around the world helping?"

"Well, I haven't found a new fetish to recharge my libido yet but I got a feeling that I'm getting close."

"Good for you. How's your little business going by the way?"

"Not bad. Fleur told me yesterday that the French branch have already taken monopoly of the contraceptives and sex toy manufacturing industry so it's only a matter of time before can start a revolution in vibrator technology."

"Ha... sometimes I begin to wonder whether to be impressed or horrified at your stupidity."

"Hey, I'm developing muggle weaponry too, you know."

"Harry!"

"What? It's not like I'm selling them. I got an army of house elves to arm after all. Whoa! Calm down, it was a joke!"

She glared at him. "One more question."

"Yes?"

"How did you manage to learn so much magic in such a short amount of time? You disappeared right after our sixth year and no one knows what you've been up to. Besides, I'm pretty sure it took Merlin at least half a decade to figure out the things that you do."

Harry gave her a sly grin and made his eyes twinkle in the very annoying manner reminiscent of a certain deceased headmaster. "Let's just say I discovered a passage to a library that recorded ancient magics."

"Y—you mean you found—"

Harry turned off the screen, chuckling softly to himself.

===Break===

Seriously, wtf is up with porn in this country? Tentacle rape? Netorare? These people are into some pretty hardcore stuff. But why the hell do they censor everything?

Harry sighed as he left the adult bookstore. For a country not known for flaunting their sexual desires, they're into some weird things, not like Harry was one to talk. He's had his fair share of dirty and those women he's been with had some strange fetishes as well.

A drop of water on his shoulders made him look up at the cloudy night sky. The rain came suddenly and without warning. Harry ran into the closest shop and purchased an umbrella. While many wizards wouldn't stoop so low as to use a muggle contraption to shield themselves from the rain, Harry found it pleasant to occasionally enjoy the simple things in life, e.g. walking in the rain.

He was nearing the foot of a mountain temple when he stopped in his tracks, his senses warning him of strange magic. He approached cautiously, eyes strained in the dark, searching for whatever it was that triggered his senses.

There, laying on the muddy ground was a figure clothed in black and purple robes. She was laying on her back and her hood shadowed her face.

Harry squatted down next to her in an attempt to get a better look at her.

"You okay? Never mind, that was a stupid question." He gently lifted her up, surprised at how light she was. Her eyes opened a fraction before closing from magical exhaustion. He could tell her core was severely depleted and she needed some rest, something she would not be able to get lying in the muddy ground during a storm.

The melody of phoenix song signaled the arrival of his phoenix. It circled around his head twice before gripping his shoulder and taking them away in a flash of phoenix fire.

===Break===

Caster slowly opened her eyes, blinking slowly as they adjusted to the bright light that was coming in through the windows. She vaguely remembered collapsing as she ran out of prana, feeling herself starting to demetarialize as she lay helpless in the muddy soil. With a start, she realized her robes were gone, replaced by a plain cotton gown. But that was not all. She could feel herself being charged with prana from a foreign source. She sat up in alarm, following the link to the young man who was watching her from a chair with a calculating expression.

Seeing her wake, the young man introduced himself. "Good morning. My name is Harry Potter. You're probably feeling strange right now with my magic feeding your core but it was the only thing I could think of to save your life. I would have cut the connection after your magical core started replenishing itself but no matter how long I waited, it just wouldn't. I've never encountered somehow with a magical core as strange as yours so please forgive me if what I did was intrusive."

Caster watched the young man in silence as she processed this. He shouldn't have been able to feed her any prana if he wasn't her master unless...

She fought back the blush that was threatening to show on her face and shot him a cold look. Harry began to feel uncomfortable under the piercing scrutiny and began to fidget.

"You... defiled my body." She stated flatly.

"W—what?! No, no! Of course not!" Harry blushed. But damn those pointed ears look sexy. Aloud, he said, "I just wove my magic and made it snake its way to your core... wait, that sounds so wrong... er... oh what the heck. Here, let me cut off the link."

Caster's eyes widened in surprise as Harry chanted in a series of hissing sounds. A moment later, she felt the prana literally coil upon itself and withdraw from her.

"The language of the snakes. It's surprising that a magus of this age still speaks that ancient tongue."

"Magus?" Harry asked in confusion. "You mean wizard?"

Caster ignored the question and gave the young man a more calculating look. He doesn't even look as if he's in his twenties yet but he emanated an aura of power that belies his soft exterior. There was a certain darkness in his eyes hidden underneath a mask of cheerfulness.

All in all, an interesting specimen.