A/N: This was written for the CS January Joy blog on Tumblr. It turned out to have a bit more angst than I had originally intended and there is a very brief mention of fatal pregnancy complications but I promise there is a very happy ending. Thank you to my friend Rouhn for looking it over.

Doctor Killian Jones didn't like to brag. Okay, he did like to brag. He was a talented OBGYN and he very well knew it. Driven and focused as a young lad, he was determined to be successful in his career. His social life. Everything he did.

Everything he wanted, he had. Including the gorgeous, green-eyed pediatrician he currently had pressed firmly against the wall. Emma Swan had enchanted him the moment he laid his eyes on her and from then on he was determined to have her. She had put up a damn good fight, but he always did love a challenge.

Emma's head was tilted back, allowing him access to her neck as she scrubbed her fingers through his hair. His lips invaded the expanse of her skin, bites and licks that left marks. She moaned softly as his hands slipped under her scrub top and roamed her body, his fingers aching to touch her most intimate places.

"Should we be-?" Her words turned into a breathy moan as he found her hips with his strong hands, giving her a light thrust. She gasped, feeling the hard erection through the thin, cotton material of his pants. Her mind was too frazzled and clouded with lust to think straight or finish her question. His mouth and hands and delicious weight of his toned body against hers drove her crazy like he always did.

A dazzling smile spread across his lips against her neck before he lifted his head to look at her, his eyes lighting up with amusement. "No, but when has the hospital rules ever stopped us before, love?" His voice was dripping with pure sin, the sound of his British accent settling deep inside her belly as he bent his head down to kiss her neck again.

Her eyes fluttered shut as she felt all of the sensations he was offering. He was hard against her center, his lips were greedy as they set her skin ablaze and his hands eagerly pushed up her shirt and bra to cup and massage her breasts. He tweaked her nipples between his index finger and thumb as he growled into the crook of her neck.

Killian's left palm painfully drifted from her breast, leaving her whining from the loss. However, he made up for it when he lowered his hand and pulled on the string of her scrub bottoms to loosen them before his fingers slipped inside and underneath her panties, finding her wonderfully aching sex. Her skin was ever so delicate and smooth; his fingertips glided easily to the area that awaited him below.

"Fuck," he groaned and his knees almost buckled underneath him when he felt how wet she was. His fingers were coated in her nectar as they dipped into folds.

She moaned as he worked as magic on her, his fingers pumping inside of her warmth and flicking over her clit. She gave up trying to hold back the pleasure he gave her long ago. When they first started engaging in their little trysts in unoccupied rooms at the hospital she hated the idea of giving him the satisfaction of knowing he was good at what he did. Very good. In fact when they first met six months ago after finishing their residencies and transferring to Storybrooke, she hated the cocky bastard. And he knew exactly how to rub her the wrong way. But very quickly, he discovered how to rub her in all of the right ways.

"Killian, please… we don't have much time," she breathed, her voiced wrecked and pleading. Her underwear was soaked with arousal and she didn't know how much longer she could wait to have him.

"Patience my darling. No one will interrupt us," he assured her, his tone husky with desire before he lowered his head to suck on her nipples. He methodically gave the residents tedious tasks to keep them occupied. He was never one for quickies with Emma in the supply closet at the hospital (he'd much preferred to take his time with her in his bed) but when he saw her wearing her scrubs and taking control of her residents like the demanding attending that she was, he was always unbelievably turned on.

He gave one last suck and a gentle tug with his teeth before he released her erect nipple and lifted his head to find her lips, causing the back of her head to find balance against the wall behind her. He sighed a low and needy sound as his tongue invaded her mouth and that was her undoing. His fingers pumped into her hard and fast, hitting just the right spot as his thumb brushed her clit. She let an embarrassingly loud moan escape her as her orgasm crashed over her.

She gathered her strength and ran the flat of her palm across his chest, feeling the thin hair showing over the top of his v-neck as he removed his hand and grabbed her hips. Her fingers dragged along his shirt and her thumb skimmed over his nipple as her other hand kept a tight grip on his waist, keeping him anchored into her.

At first, it had just been about the sex with Killian. It was exciting and had unlocked things inside of her that had been desperately begging to break free. She loved how he made her feel with his lips, his hands, the treasure that she was itching to have inside of her now. She was able to get past the cocky, bravado attitude and convinced herself that there was no harm in having a little fun. A few moments of pleasure and bliss to help her get through the exhausting pressures and frustrations that devolved as a result of the poor parenting skills that she dealt with on almost a daily basis with her young patients. A few moments of mind-blowing pleasure in the sack made her forget about her past; being abandoned on the side of the road as a newborn baby, being thrown into the foster system, being hurt by her first love and being left with a huge, gaping scar. Literally. She was left abandoned once again and pregnant at the age of seventeen and she had a cesarean performed to deliver her stillborn baby because he was in a breech position. She was broken into a million pieces and swore off having children and any type of romantic relationship after that. She stayed focused on getting herself through college and medical school. And her plan had worked flawlessly… until the blue-eyed attending entered her life and turned her whole world upside down. She had hoped she could keep her heart immune during their encounters but he had slowly crept in and took down her walls. She soon found herself confiding in him about the loss of her baby and he somewhat understood, although no could really understand something like that unless they actually experienced it themselves, but since he was an OBGYN, he'd come across such circumstances with his patients. Their relationship had escalated into something more meaningful, as much as she tried to fight it. He had taken her on dates and she enjoyed being treated with respect and like she actually meant something to someone. Although, she would never tell him that.

She broke the kiss, leaving them both a panting mess and she started dragging her swollen lips down his neck as her hand continued it's quest and found the bulge in his pants. He groaned as her lips sucked on the skin of his neck and the moment she started stroking him over his pants, he was a goner.

"Emma…" There was a low rumble in his voice as he tried to find the strength to stop her but she knew exactly how to unravel him. Somehow he managed to grab her hands, pressing them against the wall. "Gods, I want you…" His breath was ragged against her ear and she shuddered in anticipation.

"I'm all yours," she whispered as her lips ghosted over his. His impossibly blue eyes gazed into hers and she lost a breath. He smashed his lips into hers, kissing her deeply as he pulled her sharply against him. Before things went any further, he tore his lips away and caught his breath.

She gave him a questioning look. "Love, have you been taking the birth-control pills I gave you?"

She nodded. "Yeah, of course," she replied, eying his lips as she licked her own.

"Everyday?"

She moaned in complaint, the desire built up so high inside of her, she was about to burst, but still she pondered the question before answering.

"Love?"

Her eyes reverted to his and she didn't know why he was being so insistent. Was the thought of having a baby with her so horrible? "Yes!" she shouted impatiently.

He reluctantly accepted her answer. He knew how she felt about never wanting to get pregnant again and he would never forgive himself if he accidentally knocked her up, causing her to resent him for it. He was hoping someday, she would feel differently though, even if they ended up apart and she had children with someone else. As much as he hated the idea, he cared about her and only wanted her to be happy.

"Please just… fuck me," she begged in a throaty whisper.

He groaned and promptly hooked his fingers under her pants and underwear, yanking them down and removing them from her legs along with her shoes before she shoved his pants down, letting them fall to his ankles as she grabbed his stiff member and started stroking softly, feeeling the thick weight in her hand.

He grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her up, sweeping her legs around his hips. Her back was anchored into the wall and she let out a small gasp as he rocked his hips into her touch. She lined him up to her entrance, letting her arousal coat his velvety tip and he gave a few experimental thrusts. She released him and clutched onto his shoulders as he took claim on every inch of her aching walls. They both groaned and he captured her lips as he plunged into her, slow at first.

She encouraged his movements with soft moans that he swallowed as his tongue roamed her mouth. His body held her weight against the wall as his hands drifted across her thighs and grabbed her ass. They broke this kiss, gasping for air and threw moans with every thrust as he picked up the pace and took her as deep as he could.

His feelings for this woman enveloped him. He had fallen head over heels for her, although he'd never said it yet. He was afraid he might scare her off, so he kept it to himself.

They both found their release in unison and struggled to catch their breaths as he rested his head into the crook of her neck. He left featherlight kisses to her shoulders before slowly slipping out of her and lowering her so her feet could find the floor.

His hands gripped her hips as he got caught up in her warmth, her smell, her golden locks tickling his nose. He wasn't ready to let her go yet. In fact he didn't ever want to let her go.

"I love you."

Emma immediately stiffened. "You what?"

Oh gods, did he really just say that out loud? The words had flown out of his mouth before he knew he was even speaking. He lifted his head to face her and cupped her cheeks in his hand, his thumb gently brushing over her skin. Her eyes met his and that's when he saw the fear in her vast, green depths. The heavy hold she had on him apparently rendered him useless. He couldn't speak or even move for a minute.

"Love, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have-" he finally managed.

"No, you can't just take it back," she said rather bitterly as she pushed him away. She bent over and gathered her pants and underwear, pulling them on before putting on her shoes.

Killian's face fell in bewilderment as he watched her while he pulled up his own pants and tied the strings of his scrub bottoms, fumbling for an excuse. "Love, please... we just had sex... and my brain is in a state of euphoria... I didn't mean it..."

She scoffed. "Nice try, but I don't buy it. You very well meant it."

"Can we at least talk about this?"

Emma looked up at him from her task, speaking in a brisk tone. "I have to get back to work." With both of her tennis shoes on her feet, she headed for the door as he called after her.

"Can I see you later tonight then?" He asked, a pleading and hopeful look in his eyes.

She paused and turned to face him as her hand found the doorknob, her eyes devoid of any emotion. "I can't do this, I'm sorry." With that, she opened the door and disappeared into the corridor, leaving his heart aching in his chest.

"Can you zip this up for me?"

"Of course."

Emma's stomach was full of butterflies as she looked in the mirror while Mary Margaret zipped up her red dress and the material snugly fit her body. When Emma's roommate was finished she moved to stand in front of her and a bright smile formed across her lips.

"How do I look?"

"Just beautiful, Emma."

"Thanks." She gave Mary Margaret a weak smile before they gathered their purses and put on their jackets, heading for the door. "Do you think Killian will be there?" she asked as they got in her car.

"I'm not sure. David said you hurt him pretty badly so I don't think he'll show."

Emma's gut twisted with guilt. She never wanted to hurt him. She never wanted things to end the way they did. It had been six weeks since she had ran out of the storage closet. Six. Miserable. Weeks.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up," Mary Margaret apologized, pulling Emma from her thoughts. She must have seen the regret in Emma's eyes even though she was facing the road, focused on driving.

"It's okay. I deserve that."

Emma had spent those weeks avoiding him at all costs and even transferred to another hospital. She just couldn't face him after breaking up with him the way she did. He told her he loved her and she ran. God, she was an idiot. He was the only person who's ever told her that and actually meant it. She had sensed the sincerity in his eyes. That's when she fled for dear life.

They reached the New Year's Eve party at Ruby's house and got out of the car and walked up to it. There was music playing as Ruby greeted them at the door, letting them in. They took off their coats and Ruby took them into one of the designated bedrooms as Emma's eyes searched the room. She let out a long breath, relieved when she didn't see Killian. David came up and greeted her and Mary Margaret and they conversed for a while. Killian's name never came up and she was grateful for it.

The evening dragged on slowly and it didn't help that she was feeling a bit nauseous after snacking on some hor d'oeuvres. The smell alone of the chicken made her want to vomit. And she was ready to go home. She didn't have anyone to kiss at midnight so why even bother staying? She showed up and socialized. Mary Margaret would probably end up going home with David anyways.

It was an hour before midnight when Emma turned around, heading for the door but ran smack dab into someone. Apologies spilled from her lips as she looked up. Her face went even more pale than she felt and she gulped thickly.

"Sorry, lass-"

"Killian?"

He lifted his head and his eyes found hers. "Emma…" He searched her eyes and scanned her face, and she suddenly felt insecure under his scrutiny. Did she really look as horrible as she felt?

Killian, however, looked impossibly handsome, apart from the wreckage and pain lingering in his eyes.

"Hi," she said quietly and suddenly felt the urge to drink, uneasy stomach or not. She decided that the alcohol would help her upchuck whatever she ate that didn't sit well in her belly,

"Hi, love. You feeling alright?"

"Is it that obvious?" she asked with a weak laugh. "Just a tip, don't eat the chicken."

Killian's eyes widened, as if a wave of realization hit him with a jolt. Emma decided to ignore him, the need for alcohol a desperate one as she turned around and headed for the champagne.

"Emma…" He called as he followed behind her. "Can we talk?"

She continued through the crowd of people and approached the bar counter. She grabbed a flute and started to bring it to her lips before it was snatched away from her, leaving her hands lingering in the air. "What the hell?"

"That's probably not a good idea, love," he informed her and cleared his throat. "Alcohol's not good for you."

"Thanks for the tip, genius." She looked at him and scoffed. "What are you, my father?" she asked sarcastically before grabbing another glass of Champagne. She quickly turned around, heading for the balcony doors before he could take this one away. She needed some fresh air anyway.

"Emma, please," he pleaded, setting the champagne down and going after her as she made her way through the crowd. She reached the sliding door and opened it, stepping into the cold, bitter air. She didn't even think to get her jacket and was quickly regretting it. "Here, take this."

"That's okay," she mumbled, her teeth clattering as she felt the brisk air shoot through her spine. She was still holding the glass of champagne and she knew he would take it if she accepted the jacket. She walked away from him and reached the balcony railing.

"Love, you're going to freeze to death out here."

She ignored him and tried another attempt at her drink, lifting it to her lips. He promptly tore it from her hands and threw the contents of the glass over the railing.

Her eyes blew wide and she started to get furious. "Seriously?! What is your deal?!"

"Would you take my jacket, please?" he asked as he set the empty glass down, chucked off his jacket and helped her into it. She accepted it reluctantly, but only because it felt so warm and smelled like him. She looked away from him over the balcony as she shoved her hands in the pockets to warm her fingers. "Won't you be cold?" She asked him.

"I'm fine, I'm wearing a sweater."

She didn't even look to see if it was true. "Look, if you came out here to talk, I have nothing to say," she lied. She had plenty to say, she just wasn't brave enough to.

"Please, Emma. Can we just go back to how things were before I said those three bleedin' words. I never meant to scare you off or put any pressure on you, I just…"

She looked over at him and saw the gutted expression on his face and the pleading look in his eyes. Her heart ached in her chest. She hated this. She hated how she had ended things. That she had ended things. She didn't even realize how much she had missed him or how much she cared for him until she had seen him again after being apart for six weeks. She missed him so much it hurt. She already knew that before, she just hadn't realized how painful it actually was until now. "No." Her voice was soft and quiet but she knew what she wanted. She had just been too afraid to say it.

Disappointment flashed in his eyes as he studied her briefly. "Got it, love. I won't bother you any more." He turned and headed to the balcony door. He had another issue to discuss with her, but she was a big girl who could figure things out herself.

He approached the door and lifted his hand to open it but was caught off guard when she placed her hand on his to stop him.

"I don't want to go back to the way things were."

He slowly turned his head to look at her, his brow arching in confusion.

"Because I love you too." Her voice was strangled as her breath dissipated into the air but her words were unmistakable.

"You what?"

Her eyes were glossy with unshed tears as she managed a laugh. "I love you, Killian."

Without saying a word, he lunged towards her and lifted his hands to her cheeks, bringing her lips to his. Their mouths didn't move and were pressed against one another as though they were reveling in the moment and capturing it to make it last.

She felt relief swarm through her from releasing such a burden from her shoulders.

"I have known for a while, I was just too afraid to say it before," she breathed after they broke the kiss, their lips still lingering over the other as she pressed her forehead against his. "I was too afraid to admit that what we had was so much more than…"

"Just amazing sex?" he finished with an adorable smirk that made her laugh.

"Yes. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head to put her at ease. "It's my fault. I knew you weren't ready to hear those words. But I promise you, the future is nothing to be afraid of," he said with an encouraging smile, excitement dancing in his eyes, although they still had another matter to discuss and he didn't how well she was going to take it. He pulled away slightly, taking her hands in his. He drew in an unsteady breath as he tried to gather his thoughts. He wasn't sure how he was going to break the news to her.

Emma gave him a questioning look. "Killian? What is it?"

"Can I ask you something, love?"

She lifted a curious brow. "Okay…"

He released her and approached the railing, resting his hands atop of it. "Emma… when's the last time you had your period?"

She laughed. "I know you're an OBGYN but can't I keep some things about my body a secret?" She asked, but the question made her think as she stood next to him and rested her elbows on the railing.

He turned to look at her and waited for it to dawn on her.

She couldn't remember having a period for- Emma did some calculations in her head and then her eyes averted to his, a dazed look settling across her features.

"I don't know how to say this, love, but I think you're pregnant."

He tried to hide the smile from his lips, but he didn't want to get his hopes up. They had not seen each other for weeks. Anything could have happened during that time, besides the obvious. He had sensed the changes in her body the moment he had laid eyes on her after he walked through the door.

"No, I'm not. I can't be," she argued. Her period was late but she was on birth control.

"Love, would I tell you if I wasn't sure? I mean, I think you should take a test to confirm but I'm never wrong about these things," he boasted.

Her mouth had fallen agape as she turned away from him again and looked off into the dark sky. "But how?"

"Have you stopped taking your pills?"

She shook her head. "No."

"You've been taking them every day?"

She nodded, her eyes still glazed over in disbelief. "Yeah." Her mind drifted to the last couple of months and she knew that she had taken them everyday- or almost everyday. She may have missed a couple of days. She wasn't perfect and had a very busy schedule to remembe things like taking a pill at the same time everyday. She thought back to the last day she had been with Killian and the one before and could not recall taking them. "I may have missed a couple of days here and there," she murmured.

"Well, there you have it. The pills don't always work properly if you don't take them consistently." He had told her this time and time again. "Was it um..?" he started as he scratched nervously behind his ear. He really didn't want to ask the question that had been eating away at him since he found out she was pregnant.

She must have sensed his uncertainty because she turned to look at him. "It didn't happen when we were apart," she confirmed.

He expelled a breath of relief. "So um, the baby's-?"

"Yours. I haven't been with anyone since you."

A smile threatened to take over his lips at that as his eyes drifted to the ground. "Emma, I know that this is not what you wanted to find out after we just got back together but-"

"I want this."

Killian was stunned as his eyes darted to hers. "You do?"

She smiled, her eyes filling with tears again. "I have a second chance to be a mother." A tear escaped and slipped down her cheek as she wiped it away. "You don't know how many times I've thought about this moment… about finding out I'm pregnant again. And yes, I'm scared to death but-"

Killian stepped up to her and took her hands in his. "There's no need to be scared, darling. I'll be with you through it all. I'm not going anywhere," he assured her.

She smiled and leaned in to kiss his lips. "You really want to do this with me?"

He looked at her as though she were crazy. "Of course. You really think I would leave after getting you back, especially when you're carrying my child?"

"No, I just didn't want to assume, I guess."

He lifted his hand to brush her cheek. "I love you, Emma, and that's not going to change." He pulled her into his arms and held her close, kissing the top of her forehead. "Besides, between the two of us, the pregnancy, birth and the parenting will be a breeze," he pointed out with a smirk. "If there's one thing in life we can handle, it's having a baby."

She laughed. "You think being pregnant, going into labor and raising a child is a breeze, huh?"

He chuckled. "You know what I mean, love."

"Yeah, I know what you mean, but I wouldn't go spreading that around to your pregnant patients. You may not live to see your child," she teased.

"Aye. I see your point."

Emma rested her head on his chest and he just held her in his arms until he could no longer stand the bitterly cold air.

"Love…"

Emma lifted her head up at the sound of name. "Hmm?"

"Can we go inside now? I'm freezing."

She laughed. "Okay."

They both started for the door and went inside as he thought about how he couldn't believe that he started this night as a miserable, heartbroken mess and now he would end it as a soon-to-be father with a girlfriend whom he loved with every inch of his beating heart.

After the party, they stopped at the twenty-four hour drug store and bought a couple of pregnancy tests because they couldn't wait any longer to find out for sure and both of them confirmed that Killian was correct. Emma was pregnant.

Emma was sitting upright on her comfortably soft sofa in front of the fireplace, gazing down at the sleeping newborn baby in her arms. He looked just like his father; dark tufts of hair, sea-blue eyes. She stared at him in wonderment, a smile blooming across her lips at the little miracle that stirred in her arms while she ran her fingers through the light scruff of hair. After ten hours of hard labor with Killian by her side through the whole thing, the little guy finally decided to make his appearance into the world. She had been frightened the entire time, hoping and praying that she would hear the tiny wails from her child when he finally left her womb, and her heart all but leapt in her chest when she did; Aiden Lee Swan-Jones was born a healthy baby boy at six pounds, eight ounces. From that point forward, his crying was the best sound Emma could ever hear. It made her eyes wet with tears, it made her smile and it made her heart feel a little lighter every time she picked him up from his basinet. And she never wanted to let him go.

Aiden's eyes blinked open and he reached out his tiny hands as his mouth opened, letting out a tiny cry. "I think the little lad's hungry, love." Emma nodded in agreement as Killian walked into the family room with a smile on his face. He had gone into the kitchen to fetch her a glass of water and set it on the coffee table before he joined her on the sofa and kissed her forehead.

Once settled into a more comfortable position, she loosened her tunic, pulling her left breast out of the opening. She shifted Aiden into her left arm, holding him close to her chest while grabbing her breast in the her right hand. Placing her nipple upon the infant's mouth, one of her fingers rubbed the wee one's cheek, encouraging him to latch on to her.

He was suckling in no time and was instantly calmed. Emma released her breast, letting her hand drop and reach beneath her baby's blue onesie as she cradled him in her arms. Killian put his arm around her shoulder and watched in awe.

"I guess he was," she laughed as he swept her golden locks behind her shoulder and pressed a feather-light kiss to her temple before looking down at their baby, a bit jealous of the little lad.

"When do I get a turn?" he whined playfully.

She lightly swatted his stomach. "The milk is for the baby."

Killian stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. He always thoroughly enjoyed the sweet liquid that came from her breasts; he loved every part of her.

When Aiden was done feeding, Emma put away her breast and buttoned up her tunic. There was silence in the air besides the crackling from the fireplace as Killian pulled her closer in his arms and she rested her head on his shoulder.

"Are you happy, love?"

A wide smile spread across her lips as she looked up him, her green eyes sparkling with love for both of her boys. "Very happy. You?"

"Aye. I love you both very much."

"Me too. I love our little family."

She lowered her head back on his shoulder as he kissed the crown of her head through her hair. He couldn't exactly express in words how happy he was, having his son and the mother of his child safe in his arms. It was something he had dreamt about since he found out she was pregnant. He didn't even care that he had been right about that. Okay, maybe a little. He had even been right about the gender of their baby as well and they had playfully argued for months before they found out that he was indeed a boy.

"I hate to say that I was right about our little bundle of joy, but…"

She swatted his stomach again and laughed. "Don't start."

He chuckled and gently laid his head on hers, looking forward to many more moments just like this, to a future that just ten months ago he had never imagined was possible.

And to think, telling her she was pregnant was a breeze. Now he just had to figure how he was going to ask her to marry him.