Author's note: The weirdest ideas come out of tumblr, I swear, LOL. I am horrible at humor and this is not really meant to be taken seriously...but the muse had to get it out of her system. This was written for Katie (emmikamikatze) and anyone else whose Ship of Unrequited Love™ drives them crazy, as well as the Caesar's Palace prompts "cruel" (Epic Challenge) and "space age" (Artist Challenge).
Legal B.S.: Lilo, Stitch and company are the property of Disney. Nani's favorite episode is property of Paramount/CBS.
Thanks: to Bratling for betaing and helping with sticky spots.
Weird Is Part of Ohana
"...plan to be in orbit within 36 hours..."
Lilo rolled her eyes as she skipped down the last of the stairs on her way to the kitchen. The dialogue was as familiar as her own name; she didn't even need to pause in the living room doorway to look at the TV. It didn't surprise her that Nani was watching that episode again. What she didn't get was why her sister watched it over and over when she absolutely hated the ending. Shaking her head, she opened the fridge and pulled the footstool over in front of the open door.
Tugging out the bowl of pineapple she wanted, Lilo set it on the floor next to the footstool and listened with half an ear to the conversation floating from the living room. Nani had taped most of this show back when it had first run on TV and had almost the whole series recorded on a stack of tapes. And now she was rewatching it to share it with Pleakley and Jumba. Since the two aliens had become a part of the family, the Plorgonarian had developed a great fascination with human interpretations of space on movies and television and insisted on watching as many of them as he could for his research. His enthusiasm thoroughly disgusted Jumba, who spent all of his viewing time pointing out the inaccuracies and complaining about them in exacting detail.
Carrying the pineapple and a pair of forks, Lilo paused in the doorway of the living room. "Nani, Stitch and I are going to finish the leftover pineapple..." Her voice trailed off as Nani grabbed the pillow she had been leaning on and buried her face in it. Sighing, she leaned on the doorframe to wait for her sister to stop screaming into the pillow.
"How can they just leave it like that?" Pleakley's voice, laced with plaintive indignance, rose above Nani's muffled shrieking as he gestured at the two red and black-clad humans who stood in the middle of a forest clearing staring sadly at one another. "And after he told her that beautiful legend about the warriors to say that he loved her!"
"Ah, who cares? Is not important," Jumba grumbled, waving a dismissive arm at the TV screen himself.
"I care!" Pleakley argued, reaching over top of Nani's head to jab Jumba's arm. "And it is too important! It's so sad! And—and cruel!"
Jumba snorted and swatted at Pleakley's hand. "Poorly written romance is not the problem with this...this fiction. Their knowledge of space is entirely inaccurate. Starting with labeling of that side of galactic core. It is sector 2547X-329, not 'Delta Quadrant'."
"Jumba, humans haven't explored beyond their own system, remember?" Pleakley retorted. "Their space age has developed much differently."
Nani dropped the pillow into her lap. "What do you mean, 'poorly written romance'?"
"That is no excuse for inaccuracy—hey! Why you punch?" Jumba's quartet of eyes narrowed on Nani, who glared back with equal force.
"Because you insulted her favorite couple." Lilo's words were lost on the adults as Pleakley joined forces with Nani to protest Jumba's perceived insult of the characters in question. She sighed and headed for the stairs.
Stitch was waiting on the landing, staring down at the trio embroiled in their argument. "Nani watching favorite episode again?"
"Uh-huh."
"Why? Nani always gets angry at it."
Lilo shook her head as she led the way to her bedroom. "Don't ask why, Stitch. Just don't."
*fin*
A/N - for those who can't guess what Nani was watching - Star Trek Voyager episode "Resolutions" (season two), also known as the mecca episode for Janeway/Chakotay shippers.