Bioware owns Mass Effect and it's characters. This was really strange for me to write because I ship M!Shep and Kaidan, but I tried my best!

Reviews make me happy :)

I've always admired you. No questions asked, I would put my life on the line for you no matter what. Ever since the first day I met you, I have always felt my heart jump when you're near.

After Ash, I thought we had a bond that could never be broken. I could talk to you and never run out of things to say. Your view on justice and honour was always enlightening. Never once did I tell you any of this though, and I regretted it for so long. I was going to tell you after the big mission, but…I died. I can't even begin to imagine how you felt. After they rebuilt me, I asked about you, but I wasn't allowed to know.

Then, Horizon happened. I thought that if I saw your face again, everything would return to the way it was. I was wrong. You were hurt and confused. Being who I am, I never really stopped to think about how you were feeling after all that time. You left me there, and I blamed you.

After defeating the Collectors, I thought you would come back, but you didn't. I was grounded, my ship was taken away, but I still hoped. Finally, in a twist of fate, I was put back into action. You were by my side again, just like old times. Luck wasn't on my side though. You were hurt on Mars, badly. I visited you in the hospital as often as I could, you were always on my mind. I couldn't think straight.

When you finally woke up, I was so happy. Then, I learned that you were going to be a Spectre. I thought it was destiny. Then the whole Kai Leng crap came. Trying to push us away from each other. We were forced into confrontation. You asked me after if I would have taken the shot. How could I ever do that?

I almost cried tears of joy when you asked to join the Normandy. I thought you would never ask. I made sure you were comfortable and feeling alright. I brought you with me on every mission. I was so glad to have you back.

I've faced horrors some people couldn't imagine, but I've never been as afraid as was after you asked me to dinner at Apollo's. I paced in my cabin for hours, deciding what to wear and what to say. I was looking it over as an equation, trying to see what outcomes I could get, but, I soon come to the realisation that it was you, and when I'm with you, I can just be myself. That, is what I want you to know, that even if the world is ending, you will still be…you, and that's what I love about you, Kaidan.

I looked down at the lit words on the data pad. I let out a breath that I didn't realise I'd been holding in.

"That's…sufficient," I said nervously.

"Based on my observations of human behaviour, I believe that Major Alenko will be overwhelmed by your speech," EDI's voice sounded.

"Yeah, thanks EDI, I didn't think of that at all," I said sarcastically.

I looked at the clock. It was almost time to meet him.

"Alright, here goes nothing."

"…And then it's too late to…find someone," Kaidan says.

My heart had been pounding all throughout the conversation. I wanted to tell him what I had planned to tell him, but, I never found the courage. The thought of Commander Shepard at a loss for words would have made a lot of people laugh.

"Someone?" I questioned.

He raises an eyebrow. I knew I was stalling now. I had tried to sound confident, and I was sure that Kaidan wasn't fooled, but he continued anyway.

"Jane, we've been friends for a long time. I feel like I could tell you anything. We went through a lot together, and I trust you, and respect you, and…I feel like we connect." he explains softly.

We stare at each other in a tense silence for a moment.

"Jane? I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-" I cut him off by leaning over the table and kissing him.

At first he's surprised, but soon he leans into me. After a couple of minutes I pull away. He studies my face, hazel eyes filled with hope.

"You don't even know how long I've wanted to do that," I say.

He breaks out into a beautiful smile and chuckles.

"I think I could probably guess," he replies.

We both laugh the tension away. I remember now why I loved him so much.

"So," I say, "How am I going to break this to James?"

Kaidan laughs some more, "Did he even stand a chance?"

I take his hands into mine, and go in for another sweet kiss.

"Not at all."