Communique or Sheppard and Lorne Are Drunk

by Soon to be world renown Gracie

..."It has come to our attention...the name “Atlantis” for our fair city just doesn’t do her justice...phrases such as “alien sex pollen” and “aliens made us do it” appear far too often in our mission reports." Lorne & Sheppard attempt to rename the city.

Written as a side fic to Nika Dixon's Consequences. Hope you enjoy it!

OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUE TOP SECRET LEVEL 5 ENCRYPTION

ATTN: General Jack O'Neill, USAF

SGC Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, United States, Earth, Milky Way

FROM: Lieutenant Colonel Jonathan Sheppard, USAF; Major Evan Lorne, USAF

Atlantis Base, New Atlantia, Pegasus

SUBJECT: Petition for official name change

BODY:

General,

It has come to our attention that, due to recent events, the name "Atlantis" for our fair city just doesn't do her the justice she deserves. After a very careful and lengthy decision process, we have decided to petition to change the name of Atlantis to something more appropriate.

As you can clearly discern from our weekly data bursts, phrases such as "alien sex pollen" and "aliens made us do it" appear far too often in our mission reports. Medical reports after missions involving various alien harvest rituals and the like often include phrases such as "pressure bruising" (AKA: hickies) and "slight amnesia due to overindulgence" (AKA: drunk and/or stoned off their ass). This, of course, logically means that the amount of so called "unintentional sexual escapades" or "sexcapades" is simply staggering.

Thus, we, as military C.O. and X.O., respectfully petition to have the Ancient City of Atlantis henceforth officially recognized by the moniker of "The Love Boat". Rest assured that she deserves this name, not only for the sheer amount of "promiscuity" occurring in the city, but also because she's a ship.

Awaiting reply,

Lt. Col. John Sheppard, USAF

Maj. Evan Lorne, USAF

P.S. Although Lorne only spell checked it.

P.P.S. You liar.

OFFICIAL COMMUNIQUE TOP SECRET LEVEL 5 ENCRYPTION

ATTN: Lieutenant Colonel Jonathan Sheppard, USAF; Major Evan Lorne, USAF

ATLANTIS Base, New Atlantis, Pegasus

FROM: General Jack O'Neill

SGC Cheyenne Mountain, Colorado, Earth, Milky Way

SUBJECT: RE: Petition for official name change

BODY:

Are you guys high? What the hell is this? Do you two have too much time on your hands or something, because I can find something for you to do if I have to. Now get back to work and lay off the good stuff.

CONCLUSION: REQUEST DENIED

I'd better get a bottle of that hooch next data burst,

Gen. Jack O'Neill

P.S. I know it was Lorne who wrote that crap to military specifications. Sheppard doesn't sound that diplomatic.