Lessons learned the hard way

Note first story and I know I don't have the characters down kind of AU and I'm not sure if I should come up with other lessons or rules to this story, like one-shots maybe with refrences to the other chapters.

Lesson #1

Do not under any circumstances anger a hormonal pregnant witch, whose friend's husband just left her, and was trying to set said friend up in a bar, and shoot said friend down even if you are hurt over that you and Lisa broke up over well nothing.

Sam sighed it had become gloomy around Dean ever since well the "family" betrayed them and then Lisa couldn't risk constant danger, so she broke up with Dean, and Cas who was as frank as ever showed up and demanded help for the rest of the retrieval of angel weapons. Look another cute girl trying to get Dean to dance not that he wasn't offered but she was staring at Dean for the longest time while whispering to her friend.

"Hey would you like to dance." She asked hesitantly not confident at all, now she wasn't insanely super model level but she was hot enough and once upon a time Dean would've said sure.

Dean took one glance at her from his burger, "No." Straight and cold Dean looked back at his food acting though as she was an annoying fly.

"Oh, okay." She slowly made her way back to her friend who was showing a baby bump, shoulders lowered as if it took all her bravery to get up and ask one question.

Her friend looked pissed.

"Dean did you have to be so harsh." Sam sighed Cas just sat there taking in the scenery.

"What's your problem?" The pregnant friend hissed at Dean.

"Look lady I didn't want to dance with your friend get over it." Dean shot back and continued eating.

Sam groaned, it's not like it's entirely Dean's fault it's been a less than a week since the break up, but did he have to be so hurtful sounding, no matter the lack of intent.

"I can't believe this I finally get her to get over her cheating husband to get shot down by some washed up jackass!" She began to mutter under her breath.

"Dean, she's a-"Cas began but just stopped and made eye contact with Dean and Dean just stared back. Time seemed to freeze for a moment. Till Dean reached over grabbed Cas's trench coat and attacked his lips.

Wait! What! Sam's brain shut down staring at his brother and the angel, holy shit!

"Guys! Guys!" they wouldn't stop and then they disappeared probably by Cas's teleportation. Sam's mouth slowly dropped and he felt quite dizzy. He saw the lady laughing her head off.

"What the hell did you do?" Sam practically yelled at the still laughing random lady. Sam hopped up and walked out of the booth.

"Oh, just revenge, I figured that he needed to get laid, and besides best way is to wake up with a naked guy friend next to you." Sam just stared at her incredulously and then laughed when he imagined Dean and Cas' faces when they woke up. Priceless. "Oh, and they will be out almost dead cold for the last hour or so, so don't expect to wake them up."

"So witch?" Sam asked hesitantly; as they got over their laughing fits she still was the one to well hex his brother and angel friend.

"Yep, wait how do you know…?" She gestured to herself in shock, her laughing ceasing.

"Names Sam Winchester. That was my brother and an arch angel you just hexed, so if they come after you tomorrow not my fault." Sam said sticking out his hand, like Sam could have the heart to threaten a pregnant witch who apparently had a whole other level of cruelty.

"Ah… Winchester heard of you." Sam shrugged, big shocker there, "Well you know what you deserve to get some too." Sam put his hands up and shook his head rapidly.

"No, I'm good, need no help." Sam tried he really did, but she had already muttered something under her breath. Sam closed his eyes and was ready for, well he wasn't quite sure.

"What did you do?" Sam checked his body twisting his head this way and that. She chuckled to herself.

"In exactly ten minutes if you have eye contact with someone she or he will instantly fall in love with you for twelve hours an hour before your brother spell wears off, FYI." She smiled wickedly, handing him a counting down timer.

"Look lady I really do not need to get some." Sam stared at her blankly, not like Sam could ever kill a pregnant lady, but it was okay imaging it right? He's going to hell.

"Well simple you have to have eye contact with someone at exactly ten minutes, you have eight left, if no eye contact is made spell is void." She danced off back to her friend who was chatting to some nice guy sitting next to her.

Sam slowly made his way out of the bar. He must be dreaming Castiel and Dean doing the deed, Castiel being a virgin on top of that and an angel, yep defiantly a dream, but just in case. He hopped in the Impala and drove to the motel; thanking God they got separate rooms this time around. He glanced at the timer two minutes left. He made his way to the motel unlocked the door and landed on his bed with a thump. Then his phone rang.

The newly resurrected Gabriel was calling after occasionally helping out with the retrieval of the weapons.

"Hey Sam where are you guys?" Gabriel asked innocently enough.

Sam with forgetting his spell or curse on him, replied, "Portland Oregon motel Happy Sunshine off of highway 55." Flapping wings could be heard and Sam looked straight ahead as the angel suddenly appeared.

"Hey Sam." Gabriel replied hanging up his cell phone. "Where's everyone else, I think I may have found another weapon?" Gabriel asked unfortunately what had happened came rushing back to Sam, and well Sam laughed.

"Sam, hello? Why are you laughing?" Gabriel stared confusedly at the hunter after trying to get Sam to stop, shook Sam's shoulder, when Sam finally stopped and looked into Gabriel's eyes. The second part of the night came back to him at that moment, and the timer went off.

"Oh… Shit."

Sam looked up from the bed kind of being tied down was not the way he wanted to spend the night, or having an angel perched on his chest, at least his wrists were free. Apparently the spell overruled all objections and made the person hungry for sex and was very determined to get it. Sam didn't even want to remember that night, trying to wipe away all imagery from his mind from the night before. Then it went to Hell, because Gabe looked up at Sam and well yelled and hopped off the bed like it was on fire.

"What the Hell!" Gabe screamed at Sam as they both raced to grab sheet to grab their, ahem, stuff.

"Witch's spell, it's best to forget the whole thing." Sam was talking to himself and Gabriel.

"What kind of spell is that?" Gabe yelled as he snapped his fingers and they were both dressed.

Sam quickly told of last night's interesting outcomes, Gabe just nodded and laughed at all the right parts and for about ten minutes when he told about Dean and Cas.

"That is the randomness shit to happen to me in a long time." Gabe said. "Actually I may have to kill Dean for ruining my brother's innocence though." Gabe said rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

Sam did his annoyed huff noise, "Didn't you kill, him, I don't know a 100 times!"

"Oh Yeah!" Gabe realized. "So we have five or so minutes till they wake up?"

"Yep."

"Let's never talk about this ever, but tease Dean-o and Cassie, though Cassie may not get any of the joking around." Gabe walked back and forth as he spoke.

"Agreed, never thinking of it again." Sam nodded rapidly, of course saying it meant remembering, Sam shivered.

"Anyways can't wait to see how they react…" Gabe thought out loud.

Sam chuckled, "Dean will scream probably like a little girl and Castiel, hmm… not sure what he'll do."

"Let's find out." Gabriel said, and before Sam could protest Gabe grabbed his arm and poofed them into the other room.

"You moron what if they weren't covered." Sam said gesturing to the comforter on his brother; this is really something Sam didn't want to see. Dean and Castiel were sleeping wrapped around each other. It's best not to think about it.

"Well don't, I made us invisible so we can watch the magic and we can only hear each other so you can laugh your ass off." Gabriel with an evil smile similar to the witch's last night.

"I hate you so much." Sam glared at the annoying angel.

Soon though before they could begin to bicker, Dean and Castiel began to stir and wake up. They opened their eyes lazily and well both screamed and Dean yelled something that would make a sailor shove a bar of soap down Dean's throat.

Both of them grabbed their clothes rapidly and through them on, the two laughing morons covered their eyes they were quite luckily realized what Dean and Cas were going to do so they didn't see anything.

Dean and Cas made eye contact after that, and broke it quickly after words; both blushing and awkward silence filled the air.

"So… there was a witch huh." Dean stated lamely.

"Yes." Cas said awkwardly. They glanced at each other and broke eye contact again.

"Never speak of this again." Dean said both staring at the wall in front of them.

"Yes."

"I can't believe this just happened." A light of realization came upon Dean. "Holy shit Cas, I was your first! I slept with an angel, in a guy body." Dean gasped muttering the last sentenced mostly to himself.

After Dean said it Cas looked at his body and his eyes bugged out.

Gabriel decided the humor was over and grabbed Sam's arm and teleported them out of the room of unbearably awkward tension and back to their room.

So Sam noted for future reference.

Never piss off a witch, especially a pregnant one, because they have very unusual haunting methods to torture a human. Should probably try to lessen the teasing on Cas and tease Dean more. Oh and never get cursed again. Oh, try not to shiver every time you see chocolate.

Anyways I know it sucks but the idea popped in my head and it wouldn't get out. I hate that.

I think I have the grammer and such settled but if I missed something can you please tell me