Disclaimer: This is a work of amateur fiction. All trademarks and copyrighted material are the property of their respective holders, including the Roald Dahl estate and Warner Bros. Pictures. The usage of copyrighted material, along with the publication/distribution of this related work, is strictly non-commercial and is not intended to challenge any existing copyright.
Author's Note: This is the beginning of what we call The Wonka Chronicles. This volume chronologically takes place after The Truth Behind the Tour and The Great Glass Catastrophe, which are rewritten adaptations of the two books by Roald Dahl. It began as a fun project, but evolved over time into...well, you'll see. We have adapted this edition from its orginal formatting to fit your screen.
Now do be careful...don't lose your heads. And keep very, very calm. Enjoy.
A thin mist rose above the ground, pale in the predawn light. The cool, moist landscape was still and calm; nothing moving except the occasional bird stirring to life in the bamboo forests.
The early morning silence was broken by the sudden resonance of a clashing gong. The servants of the Chinese household rapidly spring into action, ready to do their master's work. Their master is…Willy Wonka, the candy maker, who bears an alarming resemblance to Michael Jackson. Following an unfortunate experiment with some mind altering candy… and realizing that labor was much cheaper overseas… Mr. Wonka built a new factory in downtown Beijing. Finding that Oompa-loompas didn't respond well to the new climate, old Willy instead compensated with genetically engineered cybernetic panda bears. And among these cybernetic pandas was the model p0, whose sole task was to carry the wood that fueled Wonka's candymaking machines. P0 wanted freedom, but he was Wonka's slave, and as he was Wonka's creation, he had no choice but to obey his master. Little did he know, things were about to change… JR Chadworth, Wonka's foremost rival in the high-stakes candy industry, had not been dissuaded by the relocation of Wonka's factory. Jealous of Wonka's popularity, Chadworth was willing to do whatever it took to surpass Wonka's number one rating…even if it meant war. Though his past attempts had all failed, JR was sure that the latest plan was foolproof, and that success would soon be at hand. This morning, a team of disreputable men had met at Beijing's most prestigious hotel. They had reached a deal, and now the group of armed mercenaries was on its way to Wonka's factory.
P0 had been out in the forest, gathering wood, when he instinctively sensed something was out of place. He saw dark shapes moving stealthily among the foliage, creeping along the shadows. Switching to infrared vision, he realized the shapes were people. Releasing his load, he dropped to all four paws, ready to attack and prove his worth to Wonka. But at that moment, a mercenary appeared behind him, and leapt onto P0's broad shoulders. Accessing a control panel, he reprogrammed p0's loyalty software, making him subservient to their cause. The bear lurched once, and then relaxed, turning to follow behind the soldiers. Two men moved up to the parameter fence and climbed it, carefully avoiding the invisible laser tripwire at the top. Pulling a pair of tiny mirrors from his pack, one of the mercs switched his eyepiece to display EM frequencies. Lining the mirrors up carefully with the ghostly line silhouetted in his vision, he dropped them into place with a swift motion. No alarms sounded, and the men relaxed.
Meanwhile…
Wonka was receiving his semiannual haircut in the barbershop located at the top of the central tower. A panoramic window allowed him a full view of his precious factory and the area around it. He proudly looked over the complex and the surrounding woodlands, marveling at its beauty, until distant movement caught his eye. Motioning to the Oompa-Loompa barber, Wonka asked him to stop trimming and hand him the high-powered binoculars that was kept there for moments like this. Scrambling frantically, the barber did as he was told. Wonka lifted the device to his eyes, adjusted the focus, and scanned the perimeter. Through the binocs, Wonka spotted the team of mercenaries, who thought they were virtually invisible. Enraged, Wonka leapt from his chair and sounded the alarm, calling for hundreds of cybernetic pandas that were designed to protect the compound from invaders.
The merc leader was halfway to the first building when the blaring alarm began to sound. "THEY'RE ON TO US!" he shouted, as massive hatches opened in the ground and a legion of bears poured forth. Setting their cute cuddliness aside, the pandas were vicious, biting off one trooper's head as he was still turning to face the danger. The mercenaries opened fire with their UMPs, ripping holes through the panda's bodies. One soldier pulled out an RPG-7 and fired into the portal from which they were emerging; a burst of flame erupted, and gooey bear chunks rained down from the heavens.
Debris and ash fell from the sky, and dark smoke swirled in the troops' vision. They all thought the battle had been won, and that the factory was theirs for the taking. But as the haze cleared, they watched in anxiety as the rubble of the portal began to shift, and a loud rumbling made the earth tremble. When the shaking reached its climax, the mercenaries saw a large, armored drill, driven by another cybernetic panda, emerge from the debris. A massive vehicle followed behind it, ripping out of the wreckage. The giant cylindrical transport turned, revealing a cargo door to the mercs. With a hiss, the hatch slid open… to reveal an Oompa-loompa shock trooper in heavy power armor, his suit so massive that he was effectively encased within a small mech. "TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"The Oompa-loompa bellowed as he cocked a massive Gatling cannon attached to his right forearm, his voice distorted into a mechanical roar by his helmet speakers. The merc leader and his men rolled for cover behind blocks of shattered concrete, hunkering down as a hail of armor-piercing rounds screamed over their heads. Some ineffective return fire plinked against the heavy Loompa's armor, but it did no more that scratch the plating. One of the mercs stayed out in the open for too long, and the huge purple "W" on the battle suit's chest was the last thing he saw as the Oompa-loompa suddenly raised his left arm and fired a miniature RPG, obliterating him and several more of the troops. The mercenary leader swore. "WE HAVE TO DESTROY THIS THING!"
A deafening roar caught the mercs' attention. Five hundred pounds of black and white streaked toward the armored Oompa-loompa. It was the reprogrammed p0, who channeled his hatred for Wonka into brute force. He struck the mech, startling its occupant. Biting through the steel plating with his titanium fangs, he released a massive discharge of electricity through the vehicle, frying the circuits and burning the Oompa-loompa into a black crisp. "Nice!" the merc leader watched as p0 leapt off the smoking hulk of the battle suit, now leading the charge towards the factory.