My Soul Mate, Lilly Anne
The day I had fallen deep in love with my soul mate was the day she first walked into my life. I had just moved to Malibu with my father and brother, and there she stood. Right before my eyes was that beautiful, sweet angel of mine. Her gorgeous blue eyes had melted right into mine. My body had tensed up with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. And that is when I realized what that feeling was. Love. I was and still this day in love with that angel from above.
Oh Lord I'll never forget the day my Lilly-bear tried killing herself because of thinking I didn't love her back. And that is how I knew we were meant to be.
****
Oh my gosh … Lilly and I…we just kissed! Yes! It felt so soft and sweet. That girls lips are so precious. Wait her mouth is full of tubes, oh shit I hoped I hadn't hurt that sweet girl. I thought to myself. "Lil, sweetie, I didn't hurt you did I?" I asked while wrapping a blanket around her fragile, little body. She looked at me with a smile on her adorable little face, shaking her head no. I smiled back at her giving her another gentle peck on the lips. Man that felt nice.
This is just perfect, I thought to myself. Lilly and I finally get to be together even if it was only because my dear best friend tried killing herself. The good Lord knows I would never, ever, ever want my sweet Lilly to ever hurt herself. But that just brought us so much closer to each other. So close that I will never even think about letting Lilly out of my sight.
"Oh, Lilly. My precious Lilly-bear never hurt yourself like that again. You've left no choice but to make sure to keep you close to me for as long as we live." I said placing a soft kiss onto her forehead.
****
I was sitting on the front porch to our house, praying silently for Lilly to be okay. All of sudden I felt a pair of arms wrap their way around my body. Looking up I find that it is my father who those arms belong to. "She's gonna be just fine, bud. Lilly's a strong girl." He said in his husky, southern accent, quite like mine but deeper. Oh Lord do I hope my daddy's right about that!
"Daddy, what if she's not strong enough though? What if she won't be able to make it through the surgery?" I look down to the ground as tears start to stream out. My sweet, sweet Lilly has been suffering way too much…I can't watch her go through anymore pain. It hurts me knowing she's suffering this much.
It's been almost two months since the incident of her trying to kill herself. She was released from the ICU a few weeks later but was still in need of being in the hospital. Finally after two weeks they let her out completely but then we got a call from her doctor saying that … that she was diagnosed with Lymphoma. The doctor said there is an operation they can perform on her to rid the cancer cells but she has only a 45% chance of surviving it. Even with the best surgeon they have. I can't let her go through with this anymore; I can't let her die on me.
Just as I come out of my thoughts I saw Lilly standing before me. "Hey sweetie." I said softly, pulling her down onto my lap. "You okay baby?" I gently placed her head onto my chest as she nodded in contentment. Oh how tired she looked! So pale and tired, my sweet angel is. It makes my heart break watching her pretty much die slowly right in front of my eyes…
"I'm tired." She said quietly.
I placed a soft kiss upon each one of her cheeks and stood up with my arms wrapped securely around her small body. "Okay sweetie, we'll go up to my room and lay down." I said, walking us into the house then up the stairs into my room. When we got inside, I carefully laid Lilly onto my bed wrapping the blanket nice and snug around her.
Her eyes looked into mine with sadness, something I hated seeing in her beautiful eyes. But really why wouldn't she have sadness in her eyes? She's basically dying for crying out freaking loud! Who the hell would freaking be happy about that? No one. And my poor Lilly-bear was no where near happy. The only time she would smile was when I would tell her how much I love her and I would die with her. This horrible disease was tearing my Lilly apart.
Lilly looked at me then to the bed. "Will you lay with me Miley? P…Please…" She looked at me desperately for me to lay with her. Which of course I would never say no to her, I love lying in bed with her being able to hold her tight in my arms and call her mine. "Aww, Lilly of course I will." I pressed a small kiss onto her forehead, and then got into bed next to her, pulling her into my arms.
Out of the corned of my eye I could see a tiny smile making it's way across her face. And that made me smile. Seeing Lilly smile, knowing that she's in all this pain, really brightens the day. Knowing that just lying in bed with her will make her a bit more happy makes me a bit more happy. That was until I realized Hannah had a concert tonight.
Great, just fucking great. I thought to myself. I can't leave Lilly home all by herself. She needs me now more than she ever has before. But I can't cancel the concert. Oh Lord why must this concert be tonight? I mean I could take Lilly with us but she's so tired I don't want to have make to her get up but I rather her be with me than alone here in our house.
"Hey, Lilly, baby, I have a concert tonight…do you want to come? Please say yes, I really don't want you here by yourself." I asked softly.
Unfortunately she was already fast asleep on my chest before I had even asked her.
****
It was around 5 o'clock when I was woken up. Shit. I thought. I have to get ready. I carefully put Lilly onto the bed trying my best not to wake her sleeping form, then placed a gentle kiss on her cheek. "Sleep good sweetie." I said before making my way to my bathroom.
I got into the shower after I had undressed myself. Turning on the hot water, I let it dripped down my body as I went into thought.
I really hope this concert doesn't take long tonight, Lilly really needs me with her. Usually I'd be happy to do a concert and Lils would be too but ever since we had be told about her having lymphoma not even a little concert could make us happy.
****
"Lilly, wake up princess." I said, pressing a kiss upon her forehead. Her eyes shot open at the sound of my voice. She looked around the room trying to figure out where she was. My dad had just let her sleep and carried her into the car.
We were sitting in my dressing room at the Malibu arena. Actually I was sitting and Lilly was laying down, her head on my lap. "Where are we Miley?" She asked, her eyes looking into mine with curiosity. "We're in my dressing room sweetie. My daddy just let you sleep, you really were tired." She nodded and sat herself up.
She moved herself over to sit on my lap. A small smile crept on both of our faces as I wrapped my arms protectively around her tiny little body. "Is the concert over?" She asked as she placed her head onto my chest. I sighed. There was still another half hour left. I shook my head. "No baby, there's still a half hour left. But I do have some time to spend with you before I have to back on stage." I gave her a wink after the last sentence. That caused Lilly to laugh a little. Something more rare than her smiles.
"How much time?" She asked in a seductive tone. I laughed and I shook my head. "Not that much time, sweetheart. But there is enough time for this…" I pressed my lips softly on top of hers gliding them into a warm kiss. I wrapped my arms tight around her waist as I felt hers wrap around the crook of my neck. Her lips felt so soft on top of mine. It was nice being able to kiss my girlfriend without having to worry about anything at the moment.
Soon our soft kissing turned into a make-out session. I was lying on the couch now while Lilly laid on top of me, her head resting on my chest, gasping for air. Poor girl, I forgot that she lost her breath quickly. Stupid dumb cancer. It just had to come and take over my sweet angel. "Oh God, Lilly, I'm sorry baby I forgot how hard it is for you to hold your breath for so long." I said, pressing my lips onto her cheek, then to her other. She gave me a small smile reassuring me that it was okay.
I lied there a few more moments enjoying having Lilly in my arms when I heard pounding on the door to my dressing room. "Hannah…it's time for you to come back on…Hannah?" Oh sweet niblets. I was about to get up to answer the door but the person outside of it had just busted it open. Oh great, oh just fucking great. He's gonna see me with Lilly lying on top of me, which I don't really give a shit for, my make-up all smeared from kissing her, and…oh my gosh…my wigs not on! Holy shit, I forgot I had taken my wig off! Oh sweet fucking niblets! Oh sweet Lord, why must you do this to me now?
The man who had rudely busted the door open, looked at me and my Lilly-bear in shock, confusion, and of course disgust. "What the hell is this?" he shouted. "Hannah having sex with her best friend Lola? Or is it girlfriend? Well, whatever the fuck it is, it better stop right now. Because if you want to loose fans then the press will be glad to tell everyone about this one. I can see the headline now, Hannah Montana the lesbo. Better yet why even let you get away with this I should just tell the press and your manager about this myself!" He said so cruelly I wanted to beat the shit out of him but before I could even gather words to say he was already fast out the door.
I looked down at Lilly to make sure what that man had said didn't scare her. Unfortunately it had indeed upset her quite a bit. "Oh Lilly, did that man's words upset you baby?" I asked her softly. She slowly nodded burying her face into my chest. Poor little thing. I wrapped my arms tighter around her little waist, pulling her closer. "Aww, he won't hurt you sweetie." Lilly shook her head. "No, Miley, I'm worried what he'll do to you…I don't you to have to lose your career because of me. Because that's what people are gonna say obviously." I sighed, pressing my lips onto her cheek.
"Baby, I would choose you over my career any day! I love you! More than my career, more than anything. You are what matters to me! YOU ARE MY LIFE! And you always, always will be baby. All I need is you." I said sincerely, meaning every single word I had spoken.
I watched as tears of joy had fallen from Lilly's eyes. She wrapped one of her arms around neck, placing a soft kiss onto my cheek. "Oh…my…gosh…Miles, do you really mean that? I'm … your life?" I felt her hand lay softly on top of mine, stroking it with her thumb. I placed a kiss onto her lips. "I meant ever word Lil, every single word. Yes baby, you are my life. That's why I'm staying here with you instead of going back out there. I love you, Lilly. So freaking much." Tears fell onto my chest from the eyes of Lilly Anne.
She snuggled closer to my body placing her head into the crook of my neck. "Oh Miles…I love you so, so much. You are my life too. I'd die without you." She said between sobs. Which I considered it to be happy sobs. Tears began to fall from my eyes now, as well. I laid there holding Lilly close to me, crying with tears of joy. "You're freaking amazing."
****
I was in the laundry room washing some clothes when I heard a loud scream coming from my room. Oh Lord, oh sweet Lord, don't let that be my poor Lilly. I thought to myself before running up to my room.
"Lilly!" I exclaimed as I saw what was before my eyes. My Lilly-bear was lying on the ground, her body shaking, her eyes were screwed shut, and her hands were over each of her ears as she screamed hysterically. I rushed to her side and scooped her into my arms. "Shh. Shh. I've got you baby, I've got you. You're okay." I said softly. Lilly shook her head violently continuing to scream. God, this hurt to watch. It was like she was having a heart attack.
Oh Lord please don't let it be that. "Lilly, what's hurting you baby?" She started to hyperventilate, not being able to answer. I pulled her into my arms, rocking her back and forth trying my best to soothe her. "Shh…shh." I whispered into her ear.
"My…My head!" She screamed, her hands on both sides of her head. Oh sweet Lord how I hated seeing her in this much pain. It broke my heart. I cradled her in my arms, carefully getting from the spot I was sitting and walked downstairs grabbing a phone off the coffee table. "Shh. I'm gonna call 911, kay baby?" The only response I got was Lilly screaming even louder.
Sighing I dialed 9-1-1 into the telephone as I hushed Lilly by rocking her back and forth.
****
It was about three hours until one of the doctor's had come to tell my father and I what was wrong. "Mr. Stewart?" He asked. My father nodded and looked at him concerned about Lilly. "It seems Lilly's brain has many cancer cells in it that it turned out to be a tumor which caused her to end up having a terrible migraine. And if it's not treated soon she could end up dying." That just made my heart stop. Lilly can't die! Not now, she's only 17…please Lord don't take her from me…
"NO! MY LILLY IS NOT GONNA DIE!" I heard myself shout.
Tears were streaming out from my eyes, loud sobs came out as my dad had wrapped his arms tight around me. He looked over to the doctor. "Please, doctor there's gotta be something you could do to prevent her from dying!" He held his grip tighter on me. The doctor sighed. "Well we could still perform the operation on her. But this late, Lilly still has a chance of dying. If she does make it she could end up with several complications." I looked up my dad to see what he would say. I rather she get the surgery cause at least then she has a chance of living. He looked down at me patting my shoulder then looked back towards the doctor. "Then let's do the operation."
Lilly's doctor nodded and was right about to leave before he looked back at us and spoke. "You can see her real quick before we begin the operation. I think it would calm her nerves." And with that said I ran straight to her room, embracing her in a tight hug.
"Oh Lilly, my sweet angel, how are ya feelin?" I asked in a soothing tone, caressing her arm lightly. She looked at me a fresh tears poured out from her eyes. Her hand clutched onto my shirt as she began to sob loudly. I started to cry too. I wrapped my arms tight around, placing her head upon my chest. "Miley…Miley…I don't wanna die…" She whispered. That just made my tears fall even faster.
I lied on the bed with her on top of me and wrapped the cover around us. "Shh. Shh. You're not gonna die, baby. I promise. You're just gonna get an operation to make you all better. And I will be right here when it's over baby. Everything is gonna be just fine sweetheart." I said softly as I pressed a kiss onto her forehead. I felt her snuggle closer to my body burying her face into my chest, sobbing.
"Miley…don't leave me." She screamed.
This is so hard. She's breaking apart right in front of me. It's painful to watch. I don't want my Lilly-bear to deal with this horrible pain. She's to fragile for this. She's too young.
I pulled her closer, holding her tight in my arms. "Baby, I'm not going anywhere. Ever. You're always going to have me with you, always baby. Everything will be okay angel. I promise you! Please Lilly, calm down before you give yourself a heart attack. I love you baby, now and for eternity." I pressed my lips softly atop hers giving her a gentle kiss.
Just then the doctor came in. "Alright, Lilly…it's time to get you ready for surgery." He said. Lilly shook her head, crying hysterically. I pressed another kiss onto her cheek, to calm her down. "Shh, it's gonna be okay baby. You're gonna be just fine, I promise. I will be right here when it's done. I love you so much baby, more than anything." I said softly then turned to the doctor. "Please save her. Don't let her die." He nodded and with that he took Lilly down to the operating room.
Oh dear Lord let my Lilly-bear survive this operation.