Drunken Bar Tales #1

Starring: Cloud, Leon, and Tifa

Bad Jokes and the True Story

A/N: This interesting. I don't like it too much, but whatever.

Okay, I've got a joke for you. It's a great one too! A Cloud, a Lion, and a Heart walk into a bar. Now, the Heart wants to get the Cloud drunk so she can have some alone time with him, but the Lion has other plans. While the Heart is in the bathroom, the Lion comes up to the Cloud and says 'I wanna stick my paw in your cloud.'.... Okay, bad joke. Well, what really happened is much more entertaining, I assure you.

"Hey! Cloud! It's been an eternity!" a bouncy brunette called out to the quiet blonde that had appeared out of nowhere in the local 7-11. He turned suddenly.

"Oh my... Tifa? Wow! This is.... unexpected. It's great to see you again! How have you been doing?" asked the startled Cloud.

"Good, good. I have a boyfriend!" Cloud looked shocked. "Yeah! It's great! His name is Leon. Yeah, we're just passing through town." She seemed to get a sudden idea.

"Hey, you look bored. Come get a few drinks with us down at the bar." Cloud looked hesitant, but Tifa pressed on. "Come on! It'll be fun!" Cloud finally nodded, drawing a squeal of delight. She latched on to his arm and dragged him off.

She had said that she was going to meet him at the bar. But she was ten minutes late. Cloud sighed. Suddenly, there was a tap on his shoulder. He looked behind him, and Tifa was there winking and sticking her tongue out, before she stood up straight and sighed.

"Sorry about being so late. I tried to convince Leon to wear something besides leather, but, apparently, everything that he owns is leather. It was fun to watch him wander around my house with no shirt on." Tifa finished with a mischievous grin. Cloud shook his head.

"Tifa, you have pro..ah..." he couldn't finish. He caught sight of the man standing a short distance behind her. He was clad entirely in leather and had his arms crossed in front of him, eyes darting around the bar, scouting it out. His eyes suddenly darted to Cloud, who was unable to look away from this beautiful man. The man let a slow, small, seductive smile creep across his face. Cloud's breath hitched, and he shook his head.

"You have problems Tifa. I'll go get the drinks." he darted from the table as Leon came to sit down.

"What's his deal?" she muttered softly, and Leon just shook his head slightly and chuckled softly.

Three hours later, Cloud had barely drunken anything, and was feeling just a little bit tipsy. Tifa had gone overhaul, and was sitting in the bathroom. That left a slightly drunk Leon and a slightly drunk Cloud alone in the bar's couch.

"So, what does Tifa do now a days?" Cloud said softly, still trying to force it through his brain that staring at this man was not okay. Leon suddenly stood up, and turned with his back to him.

"I'm getting uncomfortable. I'm going." he started to walk off.

"Wait! No! Why?" Leon paused.

"Why do you keep staring at me." He said, not as a question. He thought that he already know, and if he was right he would be very happy.

"I don't... I.... your.... very....well, hot. It's hard to look away." Cloud was shocked at his own boldness, and more shocked when Leon turned around and walked back and sat with him, his eyes burning with something new to Cloud.

"Good. I thought so. Close your eyes, Cloud." Leon demanded, and Cloud was suddenly afraid, but he did as he was told. Leon smirked, and leaned forward. He suddenly took Cloud's lips in his. Cloud's eyes shot open as Leon ran his tongue across his bottom lip. Cloud's mouth wasn't opening, but Leon chewed on Cloud's lip slightly. Finally, after minutes of Leon kissing and Cloud just sitting there, Cloud broke away.

"But... Tifa... she..." Leon stuck two fingers into his open mouth, effectively shutting him up.

"Me and Tifa, we work together. She's a model. She wants to go out with me because we look good together. She doesn't even like me that much. But you.... seem to like me a lot." he smirked before continuing. "I'm going to go with her on her tour, but I want you to let me have my fun with someone I might genuinely like, okay?" Leon exhaled heavily and looked to Cloud for an answer. As way of a response, Cloud began to gently suck on his fingers, letting his tongue wrap around them. Leon leaned back slightly, letting out a soft sigh. After Cloud was done, crawled up on top of Leon.

"Cloud?" Leon whispered, and Cloud looked up at him expectantly.

"I'm not done yet. Open." he said softly. Cloud obliged and opened his mouth slightly. Leon leaned forward and took his lips, sliding his tongue deep into his mouth. Cloud brought his tongue up and they kissed passionately. Suddenly, Leon broke away and began licking and chewing on his ear. Cloud moaned loudly at the pleasure and unexpectedness of the contact. He had to gasp softly to hold it all in. He looked out and noticed about a hundred pairs of eyes staring at him. He blushed and suddenly moaned. Leon had stuck his hand between his legs, passing over the bulge in his pants. He did it again, and Cloud felt the pleasure coming in waves. He couldn't see, but he managed to chock out a few simple words.

"People... ah..ohh..are..nnghh...staring...ahh" he barely got it out. Leon sighed and leaned back, shaking his head.

"Dammit. You'd better go. I'll wait for Tifa, and I'll catch up with you tomorrow. And Cloud.." he leaned forward, sliding his hand down from his chest, stopping at the waist, ".. This isn't over." he let his hand drop a little lower, drawing a sharp gasp from the blonde. Leon turned away then, and Cloud left quickly. Tifa returned sometime later, and knowing nothing that had happened, left with Leon very happily. But Leon's mind was elsewhere....

The next day, Leon caught up with Cloud five minutes before they had to catch their plane. Leon snuck up behind him and wrapped around him, kissing him on the neck.

"Hey..." Leon whispered.

"Ahh, you startled me..." Cloud grabbed Leon by the wrist and dragged him behind the building. He kissed him softly, then shoved him to the ground.

"When you get back..." he whispered softly, straddling him, "... you'll get the best welcome home present ever." he let his tongue trace his neck from jaw bone to collar bone, eliciting a loud moan.

"Mmm.... I bet I'll like it."

Leon and Tifa left on a crappy looking airplane, and Leon hated airplanes, now even more so. But he couldn't wait to get back on the plane again, and return to his secret lover. He wanted his present.

So, what you think? Better than the joke? Yeah, I thought so.