I'm not the one

I knew you were in love with him. Still, I took you away from him.

I saw your eyes, when you were looking at him. Admiration. Relaxation. Happiness. Love. I saw everything and became jealous. I left it up to you to choose: Carlos, James and I or Steve. I had never asked Steve if he wanted to come with us. The fact that he hated boygroups helped a lot. He would never want to come along with us. You told me that you wanted to stay with Steve. I told you he was dating the girl of his dreams and that he would never like you like you like him. "Because you're a boy, ", I said "he will never truly love you. Unlike me."

Then, we moved to L.A to become Big Time Rush. When I looked in your eyes, I couldn't see admiration, relaxalation and happiness anymore. I couldn't see anything. Your eyes were so empty, like you stopped living. We ended up sharing a room together, which really made me happy. I asked myself why you were so sad, when I was with you. I thought I could make you happy because I was willing to do everything for you. And yet, when you were looking in my eyes, I could tell you weren't looking in my green eyes, but in his green eyes. But I pushed it to the back of my mind. You suggested that I could dye my hair chocolate brown. You said that it would match my eyebrows, I could tell you were lying, bcause he had cocolate brown hair. But I pushed it to the back of my mind. I only dyed them slightly darker, mainly because I didn't think brown could suit me.

I didn't know when we started kissing and touching and doing that stuff, but I could tell again that you weren't seeing me, you were imagining Steve. But I didn't want to realize that fact. Like it would've changed anything. Like it would've made you stay with me.

Everything seemed to be alright, we had been a couple for three months and I was the happiest man alive. Your fake smile and your touches and glances, that weren't meant for me, it all made me outright damn happy.

Until yesterday, when I found that note. It all made me realize that I couldn't put you into a cage. You had slowly died in there. I really want to see you happy and I always knew I couldn't give you this happiness.

I'm not the one.

"I'm sorry, Kendall, I can't."