Another sad one. No beta-ed
He would never let go
.
When night is silent and the city is asleep,
I can hear your voice inside of me
There were days that weren't only dark.
They were dark pitch as if he had dripped drops of China ink on his eyes.
He couldn't see a thing in front of his eyes.
He could only see past.
And after past, he saw darkness.
Such a cloudiness.
A blindness that wouldn't leave him until morning light would wake him from his own sorrow.
Then he would be able to force his way into life again.
Lifeless and numb.
Like a walking dead would do.
He felt such an emptiness inside his chest.
It would destroy him inside out every time he paid too much attention to it.
It hurt. It really did, and it was the only thing he felt.
Most of the time he felt nothing at all. Like a dull day.
So the intense ache was a remembrance of a life he should keep living.
He would thrash in bed. Feel the hurt all over his limbs. Stop seeing a thing.
He would see darkness and feel the tears run over his skin.
He wished he had seen his loved one many more times.
He wished he had stared at those pearly piercing eyes and figured out all the mysteries inside.
He hoped life had been different.
It all made him think mourning wasn't only a process.
It was also a new way of living.
Living gray days with dull feelings.
Life has gone completely incomplete the moment he lost his lover.
Long hair spread over the lawn and face pale - much more than normal.
He asked God, if God even existed, if it was fair to lose his father and his man at the same day.
But God did not answer him.
Fate wasn't by his side, nor fairness was.
He hated God and other deities, he hated himself, his friends, his family.
But above all, he hated the one who left him behind.
Then dark days were long. And nights took him more than strength and brain to endure.
His body felt old. His heart felt cold. His lips felt lonely.
Life wasn't the nicest place to live anymore.
He kept dragging himself, like everyone else did, wishing Death would come for him soon.
Though the pain, the darkness, the past, the love - these he would never let go.
R.I.P. Neji.