AN: Here's a new story to celebrate the month of Hephaestion's death! Enjoy!
As soon as I felt myself slipping into the grip of Charon and Hades, I began to scream for Alexander. But my distressed king and soulmate couldn't hear me, and Charon's bony arms dragged me deeper and deeper into death.
For what felt like eternity, I bemoaned the loss of Alexander. I was soon joined by both Peritas and Bucephalus, who had both died in battle months before me, the stubborn ox-head of a horse not allowing me up on his back even when dead.
As a soldier who had not died the proper way in battle, I was doomed to wander in a sort of limbo. Being a spirit, and no longer living, I did not need to eat or sleep. Since I was doomed to wander right in front of the portal that was the gateway between the lands of the living and the dead, I took my time and watched Alexander.
It's funny that when you're alive, you often hear "Someone is watching over you," only for you to die and realize that you are the one doing the watching this time.
Anyhow, I kept a close eye on my Alexander. Hades himself said I remembered too much of my life before and tried to make me forget again and again, but I would always go right back to that gateway and watch Alexander. Eventually, Hades, Persephone, and even Charon gave up on me and let me remember. They said that if I loved Alexander that much, I deserved to remember him and our lives together.
Remembering came with an amount of stress, hurt, and sadness though. As I watched Alexander, I saw his descent into madness and grief over my death. Patroclus came from Elysium to sit and talk with me, his own memories still intact for much the same reason as mine were. He watched Alexander with me and sighed sadly.
"He is acting the same as Achilles was when I came here…"
He was genuinely upset, but even as I did not know how to comfort him, Achilles appeared and saw his lover was weeping.
"Oh, oh, what has upset you, my Dearest?" Taking Patroclus into his arms, I watched as their two souls, which had seemed transparent, like mine did, took on an almost solid appearance when they touched. I was amazed by this. I could not believe it. I had seen this happen with other paired souls here in Hades, but I had not understood it. Seeing Achilles and Patroclus now, I understood the phenomenon. They had their soulmate, their other half. Still surprised, I turned my attention back to Achilles' question and Patroclus' as of yet unspoken answer.
"A-Alexander… He reminds me of you after I left you! Achilles!" He sobbed on Achilles' shoulder. Achilles took turns comforting him and watching the portal, where Alexander had just destroyed our bedroom in a grief-fueled rage. Alexander did not seem to care that he had just ruined the rooms where we had spent so much time together when I was alive, his mind often empty of thought or full of thoughts of self harm or dying, though he never acted on them. Right now, his mind was focused on the knowledge that I had died in what had been our bed and our rooms.
"Well, we have to do something to help him, don't you think?" Achilles turned back to Patroclus, cooing, as the slightly older but slighter man nodded into his shoulder miserably, "It will be all right, my Love. We will make it right again. They will see each other again soon."
"We will?" I startled, and then was suspicious. Achilles was a soldier as well as a spirit after all; he could kill Alexander if he wanted, "What are you going to do to Alexander?"
"Nothing. We are taking you back to him. He preserved your body, correct?"
"Yes…" I hesitated, not sure what he was getting at.
"Great! Then we just ask Persephone for help!" He turned to walk away with Patroclus still in his arms.
"Wait, wait!" I rushed to get ahead of him and into his path, "Ask her what exactly? She is Queen of the Dead and the wife of Hades. Have you lost your mind?" I started to shake with stress and fear. We could not just ask… Could we? I desperately wanted to see my Alexander again, but… I groaned as doubt swirled in my very core. I dropped to my knees as the stress became too much and I could no longer hold myself upright.
I heard a whispered "Put me down, please, Achilles," from Patroclus before I felt a hand on my shoulder and raised my head, tears streaming down my face, "Hephaestion, it will be alright. You will get to see your Alexander again, is that not what you want?"
I choked as I tried unsuccessfully to gain control of myself and breathe. I did very much want that, but… what if we were too late? What if Alexander was too far gone already? What if I could never return to Hades if I left? Then Alexander would die and be without me for a whole other kind of eternity. What if? What if?
"Patroclus…" I heard Achilles step close and try to coax Patroclus away.
"But…"
"Let him be. He will be fine come morning. Give him time."
I heard Patroclus and Achilles get up and leave me. And so began the darkest night of my existence as a spirit in Hades.