Tex
Buenos Dias, cockfights. I'm Tex. Shut up Caboose, its NOT a GAME!!! God DAMMIT!!!
I swear, that guy is one stupid nut. He is kinda cute, though.
Anyways, welcome to my skull. If you don't leave when I'm done with you, I'll kill you with yours. Have a good time, and the Jiffy Pop is on the stove, and the Dr. Pepper's in the Fridge.
I'm here to tell you my Story. It's not like I have much to do when you are a ghost; especially if you have Andy as company… ugh. Fuckin' idiot. He's the one who blew us up in the first place. And he blames ME for it…
Anyways, I was once a little girl, even if you don't believe it. SOME PEOPLE think I'm a robotcough cough CABOOSE. I grew up a guy, because my dad wanted a boy so much, he even had my mom believing I was a boy, till the day she died. And he's the reason I eventually joined the marines, as a Special Forces Experiment. I was Codenamed "Experiment Texas", and my Squad mates were Wyoming, Montana, and that Gay MasterChief was our leader. Till he was taken to be the Alien Clorox. Goddang that man.
Anyways, we were all given an AI in our AI-Slots in our helmets. Mine was Omega, A.K.A. O'Malley. He and I got along pretty well, until the day they tried to purge all the AI. He went berserk, and nearly took me out in the process. The only ones left were Wyoming and York, that I know of.
I eventually got control back, and after that, I went to the Freelancer office, and accepted a job as a freelancer. It pays well, for life-and-death situations. I learned the ways of a Bounty Hunter, also. Met up with Boba Fett; he was a rookie, who apparently watched old movies too much. He and I were an OK team; I killed people, and he barfed up lunch. I made enough money to but an active cameo Upgrade. Mine was cool and all, but I like new things.
I still had a boyfriend. Well, he was actually just my man-whore, but he thought we had something. He kept muttering about "one-kneeing me" in his sleep, as if he wanted to marry me later. I dumped him. Who knew he still had a grudge on me for that? I cant even believe I took that job…
I took a job, later. Duh. What else would I do? I took a job at a place called Bloodgulch, at a base called, un-originally, "Bloodgulch Outpost Alpha". I call it, "Idiot Haven". All it has are idiots, Cute idiots, and Assholes. My boyfriend, Church, I got back with him. He is a better man now, War and laziness has hardened, and then softened him. He's lazy, and also as protective of me as a Mother Grizzly bear. He, dare I say it, is a slightly complicated person. For a guy.
Some guy from the Red base – AKA "Bloodgulch Outpost Number One" – Got me with a grenade. Some pink guy. Faggit. Anyways, I died. Came back, and possessed a Hispanic Android. He was kinda funny. Anyways, Church, my boyfriend, was pissed at me for taking his "body". We eventually got him a new one. And me one, too. Many crazy adventures later, Tucker was Knocked up, Knocked down, and Knocked out; Church Lost a Girlfriend – me – ;and O'Malley, Wyoming, Andy and I finally die; and Everyone else has a Happy and fun life trying to figure out the meaning to life, and the reason they're all out in that box canyon. Whoop-de-fuckin'-do.
I'm done with you now; Now leave before I decide you don't need your skull!