An Akatsuki Christmas Carol (I do not own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does) This is a Christmas present to my five best friends. Happy Holidays!
Hidan hurriedly stalked through the crowded streets of Amegakure. Every two seconds, some random villager whom he was supposed to know stopped to greet the now exceedingly pissed off zealot with a
"Good evening Hidan-sama! Merry Christmas!"
It took every ounce of his (lack thereof) mental strength with the additional fact that Pein had threatened them all on several occasions not to touch the citizens of Amegakure, who worshipped him as "God", not to turn around and rip the poor villager's lungs out.
As far as Hidan was concerned, there was only one true god in this world, and it was certainly not his "f**kin Pein in the ass leader" or "the f**kin reason this crap-ass holiday even exists".
He increased his speed, wanting to reach the base as fast as he could to get out of his own personal holiday hell.
Upon reaching the entrance to his haven (by comparison), he preformed the various jutsu needed to get to the residential area of the base.
"Aw, f**k." The inside of the base was much worse than what he had just escaped from. Any possible form of Christmas decoration was thrown on every visible surface. Hidan twitched. He knew this was coming. He just wished that they had been kind enough to warn him in advance so he would have a chance to claw his eyes out first. Hidan continued to twitch, froze in place by the sheer amount of cheerfulness possessing their living space.
"YAY!!! HIDAN-SENPAI IS BACK!!! Do you like the Christmas decorations senpai? Deidara-senpai helped Tobi with them! Senpai has been in a really good mood ever you left on your mission two days ago. Tobi wonders why! Tobi likes it w-"
"TOBI SHOULD F**KIN SHUT UP BEFORE I RIP HIS LUNGS OUT WITH MY BARE HANDS!" Hidan finally yelled, before muttering out a string of incomprehensible swear words.
"What's the matter Hidan-SENPAI? You're acting as if you hate Christmas, hmm?" Sarcasm dripping heavily from Deidara's words.
"Screw you, she-fag." Hidan said, shooting a sharp glare and a finger at the pyromaniac before stalking towards his room
" Hey Tobi, remember that song I taught you yesterday, hmm? I think Hidan-senpai needs some cheering up, so we are going to stand in front of his door for the next two hours singing it okay?"
"Okay Deidara-senpai! Let's go cheer Hidan-senpai up!"
" Yes, let's…" Deidara replied rather evilly.
~Two Hours Later~
"Damn. I can't believe standing outside his door singing 'Santa Claus is coming to town' didn't get a single reaction from that baka, un. It usually drives him crazy." Deidara said with a slight pout on his face, entering the
"You let him get to you too much. You know how he is at this time of year." A voice remarked, coming from nowhere in particular, and Deidara jumped.
"Oh, its only you, un. You need to stop doing that Shay." Deidara replied, relaxing his posture. A black form began gathering the surrounding shadows on the ground near Deidara in the shape of a slim little black fox.
"Hey Dara nii-san. Get into any trouble while I was gone?"
Shay asked, her tails swishing while her fox snout curved into a kind smile.
"The usual, plus Hidan is probably going to get revenge for all of this. Don't worry about Tobi, I was actually nice to him these few days. He's not as annoying if you both do something fun together." Deidara murmured. Shay smirked in response.
"Told you so." Deidara stuck out his tongue at his younger sister, who was disguised as a fox at the moment.
"Speaking of which, you have gotten your Christmas presents for everyone, right? If you haven't, I can help you since I'm done with mine." Shay smirked again. Her brother was never one to present any gift to someone that didn't involve his unique brand of art.
"I'm not that incompetent with other kinds of gifts, un." The blonde retorted.
"Whatever you say nii-san. Draw something for Sasori and Loban, get Itachi, Konan, Pein and Kakuzu a book, weapons for Maddi and Asuka, CDs are for Hidan, Kisame and Inari, get some of their favorite chocolate for Zetsu, promise to teach Tobi to draw and you know what I like. I'm going to say hello to the Kisame and the others now. See you." Shay quickly said before her brother could cut her off.
"Hm, see you. Thanks for the help, un." Deidara replied to the quickly fading outline of his sister. Chuckling, Shay moved towards Maddi's room first to ask for a favor in pulling something over on Hidan. Upon reaching her best friend's door, she knocked first because she was scared to do so otherwise like the last time. She shuddered at the memory of it before she heard Maddi say in her usual monotone,
"What do you want, Shay. Door's open." Shay phased through the door to find Maddi reading manga on her bed with her ear-buds on, listening to SS501's 'Love Like This'.
Looking up from her manga, she recognized the look on my face immediately. It was my 'severely mangle Hidan' look.
"What do you have in mind. I'm assuming it has something to do with Asuka or genjutsu since you need my help." Maddi said, looking back to her manga with a small smile on her face at the prospect of torturing Hidan again.
"Genjutsu. In his dream." Shay replied, smirking.
"Doing what." Shay then jumped up on her bed and whispered in her ear.
"Heh, heh, heh. And stop the friggin' fox disguise already."
"Yeah, yeah. Hidan's asleep now. Let's go." Shay said while holding her unique 'cat' handsign to transform back into her human form. The two missing nin crept through the festive looking hallway which was lit by the multi-colored Christmas lights and various ornaments. Reaching a door with the Jashin sign on it along with the words 'Get the F**K away', Shay then activated her phasing ability and they soundlessly stepped through the door. Inside, they found Hidan snoring on his bed with a pillow covering his face and his leg hanging off the side. Shay and Maddi then moved so they were standing at the foot of his bed side by side. Nodding to each other, they began performing the various handsigns needed for their double genjutsu. Holding back their sadistic snickers, they couldn't help but smile at their future handiwork as they left as silently as they came. When they were a fair distance away, they began talking.
"Have you bothered to go around and let people know that we got back? I'm guessing no except for Sasori and Itachi, so I'll do the rest." Shay offered.
" Uh huh. See ya at dinner" Shay smirked as she phased into the nearest un-visited room, which happened to be Asuka's.
"Hey Shay! I missed you! When did you get back? Did the mission go well? Do you like the Christmas decorations? Can you believe that Deidara is being this nice to Tobi? I wish Hidan would at least be nicer since its Christmas, but then again, he hates Christmas so, never mind! Have you seen anyone else yet? Have you gotten everyone's gifts yet? I guess you should have, since its Christmas Eve! I can't wait for tomorrow! Can you Shay? Huh huh huh?"
"Good to see you too Asuka. We got back fifteen minutes ago, the decorations are awesome. Yes I can believe that Deidara is being nice, its Christmas, what do you expect? I've seen Deidara but that's it. Yes, everyone's gift is taken care of, don't worry about Hidan, Maddi and I took care of his whole 'Christmas spirit' issue. And I can't wait for tomorrow either! Can you believe its actually tomorrow?!" Shay exclaimed, hugging her best friend.
"Is Inari here?"
"Shay, please. You and I both know Inari wouldn't miss an Akatsuki Christmas for the world."
"True dat. I'll see you at dinner Asuka. I need to say hello to the others on Maddi's behalf and report back to Loban."
"Bye! Later Shay!"
" See ya Asuka." Shay then transformed into her favorite fox form again while phasing into the ground. Sensing Itachi in Inari's room as well, Shay decided to knock before entering. Phasing out of the ground in front of her door, she knocked lightly.
"Are you guys busy? If you are, I can come back whenever your done in like, a few hours." Shay teased.
"Haha,very funny Shay. Gimme a sec, I need to pry Itachi off me first." Inari answered. With her sharp hearing, Shay could hear Itachi leaning closer, if that was possible, and almost growling,
"But I don't want to." In his usual monotone almost identical to Maddi's except there was a noticeable edge of happiness to his right now. Shay smiled at the couple before her crystal-using best friend opened the door.
"Hey Inari! Hey Itachi! I'm back. Merry Christmas!" Shay said, still smiling.
"Hey Shay! Just got back right? Let me guess, Maddi can't be bothered to do say hello to anyone?" Inari questioned while holding Itachi's hand.
"Right on both counts. See you at dinner guys, I'll just leave you two alone now," Shay teased lightly again and phased back into the ground to find Loban in her room.
This is new. Shay thought when her shadows sensed a lightning barrier around their current leader's room which she couldn't pass because of elemental differences. Sighing, she activated her backup phasing jutsu which was ironically called 'Kagerou' and phased through the barrier anyway since Loban was alone in her office.
"Dammit Shay I have that lightning barrier there for a reason. Use the f**kin door for once." Loban cussed when Shay appeared out of the ground in front of her desk.
"Just came to give you our mission report. I'm in a hurry because I have to say hello to Kisame before securing something edible for dinner." Shay explained.
"I'm partnering you with Hidan for your next mission A-tisuto Kagerou." Loban threatened.
"Okay. Their his injuries." Shay countered, phasing out.
"Three, two, one…" Loban counted out loud.
(inside Shay's mind) 'Hey my Kagerou jutsu stopped working…better switch to my shadow jutsu… ACK!!'
".HELL!!!!!!!!" Shay screamed as lightning jolted through her followed by forced mental images of SasoDei. Loban chuckled as she let up on both tortures.
Shay growled as she went straight to Kisame's room without bothering to phase through anything.
Shay smiled at the thought of seeing her boyfriend.
"Kisame-kun, I missed him.." She said said to no one in particular.