"Boss, seriously? It was just a damned donut. It was there, going to waste. It's not as if anyone there was going to eat now was it?" Tony glanced desperately at the ping pong like paddle in his boss' hand. "You're over reacting," he weakly added, "This isn't fair." Tapping the paddle against his hand as he digested his second in command's argument, Gibbs quirked a brow. It wasn't the donut that was the problem per se; it was how the donut was taken. It was the fact that it was taken without permission. It was the fact that it was essentially taken from a corpse. It was the fact that a snap happy reporter, who had been lurking in the garden, had seized his moment. The threatened headline lingered in Gibbs' ears.
"Death by donut, the NCIS special."
He felt his eyes flutter wearily at the thought of Leon's tirade if that picture of Tony with his mouth around the jelly delicacy, eyes closed in pleasure with the bloodied body of an unfortunate victim laying in full view behind him. Gibbs was as sure as he could be that he had terrified the young journalist into submission, but he couldn't bank on it. He sighed as Tony's mouth set into the line that let him know how he felt about being dragged into the much hated conference room.
"Tony," he gritted out, his patience well and truly tested. "Do you have any idea how unprofessional that was? Not to mention just plain wrong? If that was you lying dead in your apartment, how would you feel about some guy standing over your body eating your damned donut?"
Tony's brow creased as he gave genuine thought to the question, exasperating Gibbs even more.
"Well," he hedged hesitantly, "I'd be pissed you know, because I'd be…well, dead. But at the same time, that donut was amazing. I'd like to think that I've be of sufficiently generous spirit that I wouldn't deny a working man my donut. Not like I was going to eat is it?" He seemed to seal his conclusion with a short nod. "I say, let him have the donut. A man should be entitled to a donut," holding up his hands as Gibbs' gaze narrowed, he shrugged. "Just saying is all."
A migraine was forming behind the older agent's eyes as he tossed a hand to the table.
"Just bend over that table would ya? Stop making a meal out of this, I'm irritated enough."
Tony scowled as he crossed his arms over his chest. "But that's not fair," he repeated stubbornly, "You wouldn't even be mad if it wasn't for that stupid reporter. You said he was going to delete the photo, so what's the big deal?" His gaze turned pleading. "C'mon Boss, just let this go, please? You know I hate that damned paddle, it's put me off ping pong for life." His face darkened further as he dawdled down memory lane. "I used to be amazing at ping pong. I once won a free bar tab for a whole week, in a ping pong challenge."
Gibbs decided then and there, that he was asking for a pay rise.
He deserved a pay rise.
A flaming big one.
"Tony," he repeated, weariness lapping at him, "If you do not put your damned behind over that table, I'm going to do it for you." He tilted his head and stared his second down as Tony tried to read the probability of that threat. "I mean it," the elder man added, "You know better than to good off like that at a scene. You know that we can always be watched, and that unfair as it may be, one stupid thing like that can stay with you forever. A constant running joke, do you want that? Do you?"
Tony's scowl dropped a mite as he found the rationale in his boss' words.
"No," he muttered, "But I still don't think it's such a big deal. I mean, I knock candy out of the machine downstairs nearly every day and you….you…"
He trailed off as he realised his error.
Gibbs pretended to know nothing of the blatant candy misappropriation as he stared steadily. Pointing to the table once more, he counted to five in his head before speaking. "This is your last chance," he warned quietly, "Stop your whining and take it now, or keep it up and regret it." He shrugged as he watched Tony war with himself, before sighing. "Do as I say now and you keep the pants. Don't, and you lose them. It's up to you"
Tony couldn't argue with those options. With as much grace as a beheaded swan, he cast one last and wounded look at his boss before moving. Positively stomping over to the table, muttering under his breath, he stared at it for a moment. Gibbs, who was working hard on ignoring the histrionics merely gazed back without a word. "You sure you don't want to reconsider this Boss?" Tony queried desperately, "I get it, ok? No more on the job snacking. Well, of course I can't commit to that. But definitely no more ahh…morbid snacking. Ok? Deal?"
Gibbs silently tapped the paddle against his hand and quirked a reproving brow.
"So unfair," Tony grumbled as he threw himself over the table in defeat. Burying his head in his arms as Gibbs moved into the dreadfully familiar position, he scowled. It was so stupid, it was just a donut. He didn't take the Hope Diamond and shove it down his throat. Gibbs routinely bought Abby those amazing chocolate muffins, but when he sources his own snacks…it's a national scandal. It was outrageous, is what it was. It was….
The thought left him.
The paddling was fierce and rapid. Gibbs didn't hold back as he placed the restraining hand on Tony's back, bringing the wooden board down straight away. For all the kid's whining and grumbling, he only intended for this to be a quick lesson. Concentrating hard on the tender sit spots that his protégée would feel later, he methodically lit a fire there without regret. Moving the small but mighty paddle up a notch, he added a thick coat of red to the fleshy, tender part of Tony's butt. The whimpering was not unexpected as he wasted no time on such things as warm up's.
The punishment was over as soon as it started.
Patting Tony's back gently as he stepped away, Gibbs watched as the kid pulled himself to his feet. His face was flushed and his fringe was damp as he reached back and rubbed his butt tenderly. But there were no tears, nor was Gibbs expecting any. There was silence as the younger man was pulled into a quick hug, and as all was forgiven and forgotten.
Tony looked at his boss with an understanding gaze, that let Gibbs knew he got it.
The words that were nearly their unusual self, had the elder man's lips twitching into a grin.
"I'm going on a diet, Boss."