Night and Day

Argh, I suck at coming up with titles, so there's your uber generic one. A short description of what Lerein looks like since no one else ever does, so I'm clueless as to what they look like, and BLAH. He has that short pulled-back wavy hair style, and it's light-ish brown. He has tannish skin, and those really pretty green-blue-aquamarine eyes. He also has no tattoos. (He also fails at Persuasion in the flashback. He doesn't anymore though. XD)

Bah, in my very first game, I was a Dalish elf, and the part where Tamlen comes to your camp freaked me out and made me really depressed. And since no one on gives Tamlen much love since he dies, I decided to write this. Too bad Tamlen's not actually gay/bi/whatever... ;-; ... oh well, screw that, this is a fanfiction.

(... For some reason, I feel like I'm defiling both Tamlen, and my own character with this fanfiction... bah.)

Warnings: ANGST/DRAMA. A SHIT TON OF IT. THEN SOME DRUNKEN MAKING OUT. THEN SOME MORE RANDOM. :0000 Also, crappy writing and use of pronouns, since guy love is so hard to write with all the 'he's, 'his's, 'him's, and the like.

It was always night, Lerein noticed, that he'd would cry, and be hateful, and regret things, and be irritable (and even lustful, sometimes). Only and always at night. Such as this particular one.

A group of Shreiks attacked the camp. Killing them was easy. Five warriors, two mages, two rogues against six or seven darkspawn is nothing. It was what happened after that was causing the tears to fall from his eyes, and cries to come from his mouth.

There a ghoul stood. Just outside of the camp. His skin was a dark deep red, and he had no hair, but you could tell he used to be an elf from the pointed ears. Lerein walked close to him, and, sensing he meant no harm, addressed him.

"Who are y–?"

"You... lethallin..."

Lerein recognized the voice, as strained as it was. "... T-Tamlen...? Mercy of the gods, it can't be!" Lerein's heart slowed and quickened at the same time, and the worst feeling of shock and something akin to fear settled in his stomach and veins. "Don't... don't come near me!" Tamlen said, voice and words forced, "Stay away!" Tamlen ran off, and Lerein followed him, completely acting on instinct. His shock and will were the only things keeping him from bursting into tears then and there.

Lerein caught up with him. Tamlen turned and, with pain in his eyes, said, "Don't... look at me! I am... sick..."

Lerein's eyebrows furrowed, and he reached out to touch him, "We can help you, Tamlen! Don't be afraid! We've got two perfectly–!"

"No! No... no help for me..." he lashed out, and slapped Lerein's hand away from him. He was too numb to even feel it. Tamlen groaned out, "The song... in my head, it... calls to me... He sings to me! I can't stop it!"

"Tamlen, please!"

"Don't want to hurt you... lethallin. Please... stop me!" The Warden's blood ran cold. 'Stop him? As in... kill him? No... not Tamlen! I... I love him! Oh Creators, why?!'

"I have to try, Tamlen! You have to let me try and heal you! I love you, I don't want you to go without at least trying!" he begged, not noticing that even in such a dire and desperate situation, he'd confessed his love for the older elf-turned-ghoul.

"Too far. You cannot help me. I'm... so sorry, lethallin," Tamlen shuddered, trying to resist the call of the Archdemon as long as possible. However, it was in vain, "Never wanted this... I-I... love you, too, lethallin. Forgiv–..." Tamlen interrupted himself, and screamed, attacking Lerein. Lerein ducked, and dodge-rolled behind him. However, just as he was about to grab Tamlen's arms from behind, so he could try and heal him despite what Tamlen said, he saw the blade of a sword (a very familiar sword) stab through the left side of the tainted elf's back. It rotated, and Tamlen let out a final cry. When it was retracted, and Tamlen's body dropped, Lerein stared at Alistair with a blank expression. As if he just realized what happened, he looked down, and saw the body of his old friend. Of his only connection to his past. Of his only love.

"T-... Tamlen..." Lerein muttered. The tears he'd held back appeared in his eyes, and he looked back up at Alistair. The other Grey Warden stared at Lerein in confusion, "Who was that?" he asked.

"His... his name was Tamlen... he was my... friend," Lerein replied. Alistair's eyebrows rose, in recognition of the name. "Tamlen? ... so he was the one who was with you when you..." he sighed, "I'm so sorry." (Lerein thought, 'You don't really sound sorry.')

"This is what happens... when the taint is left unchecked. It... It was better for him, to have it end. It was... a mercy." With that he walked back to camp, leaving Tamlen's dead, twisted body on the ground in front of the Dalish Warden.

Said Warden fell to his knees, and cried. He cried and cried, until finally losing consciousness to stress and pain (easy or no, those Shreiks leave gashes) and melancholy.

When he woke up, it was night. He'd slept all day. He sat up in his tent, and noticed that a, he had no clothes on, bar a loose pair of shorts; and b, it was surprisingly quiet outside. He pulled on an under shirt, some leggings, and boots, and walked outside. The only one outside was Alistair. His back was facing him, so he didn't notice the elf leaving his tent. Lerein half-glared at Alistair; he'd killed his friend – his love – of course he'd be angry.

"I really am sorry," Alistair said, surprising him. Lerein ignored him though, and sat on the other side of the fire, nicking a bottle of wine from in between Oghren and Wynne's tents. He opened it and took a mouthful. They'd been given a case of exotic Antivan red wine from a traveler and his family for saving them from darkspawn a few days earlier.

Lerein took a swig, and stared into the fire until his eyes watered. By the time the bottle was empty, Lerein had remembered he wasn't so great at holding alcohol. He dropped the empty bottle on the ground, got up and sat next to Alistair, leaning on the log. "I... I loved him, you know." Alistair was stunned, yet almost expected it.

"Tamlen said he loved me too. Then he attacked me, and you killed him," Lerein said dully. Then he laughed a humorless laugh, and said, "You know, I've loved him since I was fifteen, even though he has two years on me. I'd always thought him an older brother until then. But on the day I finally became a hunter,..."

"Tamlen?" A young Lerein walked into his and Tamlen's Dalish tent, not seeing the older elf anywhere (but plenty of strange bottles). "Taaamleeen!" he called. The blonde elf emerged from a pile of sheets and blankets waist up, and shirtless. "O-Oh, hello, lethallin." His speech was a little slurred.

"There you are Tamlen! Guess what? I have great news! I'm a hunter!" Lerein said excitedly. He walked towards his friend, only to see the blankets and sheets rustle a little before a female elf – Erin, he remembered, the city elf that had joined the clan recently – arose right next to him, with a loose cloth covering her chest. Lerein's eyes widened.

("Were they...?" Alistair left off. Lerein nodded grimly, "Yeah. It hurt, but at the time, I didn't know why.")

"Le-Lerein, try t' understa–..." Tamlen stopped speaking when tears dropped to the floor from Lerein's face. Erin looked around awkwardly, and, grabbing her dress and putting it on, left. Lerein stood, face down, eyes shut tight, not saying anything.

'Why am I so mad? Tamlen's affairs are his own. I have no right to be angry with him. He's... family. I should support him, not cry like a child!' Thoughts were zooming about in his head, and all the while, Tamlen replaced his clothes, and leather armor.

"Lethallin, I-I... ohhh..." Tamlen leaned over himself and vomited on the floor. Lerein gasped. He remembered the bottles, and picked one up. "Wilhelm's Ale" it read. Tamlen was drunk.

'That bitch,' thought Lerein, 'She brought alcohol! To a Dalish clan! I have to tell the Keeper! Who knows how many other hunters she's bonded with! She must have gotten him drunk, and... tricked him... Tamlen is drunk and...' Lerein looked at Tamlen who was washing out his mouth. "Tamlen," he said before he could stop himself, "A-Are... do you love her?"

Tamlen looked up at Lerein, "Love who?"

"Erin."

He frowned in confusion, "Who's that?"

Lerein looked at the man, dead-panning. "That woman you were just b-bonding with?" Tamlen took up a thinking pose, hand on his chin, and eyebrow raised. He looked even more confused. "I wasn't bondin' with an'one but you just now, lethallin. Then you jus' walked in..." Lerein's face turned red. Did Tamlen's clouded mind see Erin as Lerein himself? He looked at the tips of his new pair of hunter boots. Could Tamlen possibly..?

He felt a hand on his chin, and his head was tilted up. He saw Tamlen, his eyelids lowered, and mouth curled up in a smirk, "Now... shall we get back t' our... interrupted activities?" Lerein felt a strange tingling in his gut, that quickly went south. He felt like his face and ears were on fire. "Tamlen, I... do you–?" Tamlen didn't let the teenager finish his question as he let his lips fell on his.

Lerein's heart sped up. He almost thought it would burst. It beat impossibly faster when Tamlen weaved one of his hands in his brown hair and the other on his left hip, and pulled him closer. Lerein instinctively let his shaking hands rest on Tamlen's shoulder for support – his knees grew weak.

The older elf's left hand moved down, and rested on Lerein's backside. He, in turn, gasped; an act which Tamlen took full advantage of by pushing his tongue in.

("You know, I don't show my bad side during the day. Just part of my nature, I suppose. I knew I should have stopped. So I did. But it... didn't work. Tamlen, he...")

Lerein mustered his all of his energy (and will) and pushed the hunter away. Tamlen stumbled a little from surprise, and the alcohol's influence. Lerein once again stared at the floor. "Tamlen... You're not in the right state of mind. And you'll regret this, if I let it go on. I'm sorry, but I–." His wrists were grabbed, and forced behind his back. Tamlen was kissing him again, with a distressed fervor. In between each kiss, he whispered "lethallin". He slowly pushed them towards the pile of sheets he and Erin had been in before.

The next thing Lerein knew, they fell into them, and armor was being removed. Every chance he got, he said "Tamlen, stop!" or "You don't want to do this!" But he wouldn't listen. He nipped at Lerein's neck, and ran his fingertips on the younger 's chest. "T-Tamlen... you... ahh..!"

Tamlen smirked and–.

"Woah, woah, woah! That's a bit–!" Alistair blushed a little. "You don't have to go into detail do you?" Lerein frowned and apologized. "Sorry. I have this dream every now and then that reminds me. Anyways, after that, after we... you know... I–."

"Wait. You were fifteen? And he was seventeen? Isn't that a bit... young?" the ex-Templar asked.

"Yes, it was. But he was drunk, and I was forced. Anyways, after that, he fell asleep, and I left the tent after getting my armor back on. I went to a pond, and cleaned up. As I sat there, I thought of what had happened, and why I felt so... complete. Like I'd accomplished my life goal. I thought long and hard, and finally, I realized that I loved him."

Alistair stared at Lerein dumbfoundedly. "So he rapes you, a fifteen year old, and you figure you love him?" The elf nodded. "Honestly, it wasn't bad. It hurt a little, but–."

"No, no, I don't want to hear it." The bastard prince's flush returned. "Sorry. The next day when he woke up, he asked me what happened the day before. He didn't remember a thing that happened." Lerein got up to leave. "Thank you Alistair. For listening, I mean. And for... freeing Tamlen. He must have been in a lot of pain." He returned to his tent.

After he left, Alistair returned to his duty, watching for darkspawn, lest they attack again while his Grey Warden was vulnerable.

That end feels... not end-ish. But I couldn't think of another one, so tough. And that flashback... I almost want to finish it. But no. I wouldn't dare. Unless... people wanted me to, but even then I probably wouldn't. ANYWAYS. Ahem, I rather like this fanfic. It's not nearly as bad as my other ones. Bah, but people wouldn't like it. 'Cause no one gives a crap about Tamlen. Except for me.

TAAAAAAAMLEEEEEEEEEEEN! =sob=

Anyways, anyways, if you like it, review maybe? Who knows, maybe I'll write another chapter. Make it LereinxAlistair. XD

-nx.