He sat on the ledge of Stark Tower, legs swinging along with the crisp evening breeze.
Everyday he found it even harder to carry on. The God of Mischief. Pathetic.
Rolling up his sleeves he faced the mangled flesh that were his arms. If he was really to do this, he had to be able to face the past, no matter how painful.
His childhood, though not altogether unpleasant did not leave him unscathed. Lost in thought, he didn't notice that he was being watched.
"He's been sitting out there for hours," Natasha said. She noticed that Loki was out there about three hours ago but didn't think anything of it at the time. Eventually her interest was piqued and she perched atop the bar.
Tony took another swig of scotch. "Yeah well, he's been doing this every night since he and Thor came back." Natasha's head snapped in Starks direction and raised her eyebrows.
"For starters, how do you even know that? You promised Pepper that you would stop staying up so much and start trying to sleep. And second of all, that was what? Three weeks ago?"
Tony raised his hands in defense. "I did start sleeping for a little bit, but then Point Break appeared with Reindeer Games claiming that war would soon be upon us and how the fate of the Nine Realms were at stake. Then JARVIS alerted me when he noticed Loki up and about. You can't really blame me for keeping an extra eye on Loki considering what happened the last time he was here. Although I must say, he does seem as though he's a lot different than he used to be."
Natasha nodded her head in silent agreement. Loki was a lot different than the madman that they were introduced to during New York, just five years ago.
"Well g'night!" Tony stretched and grabbed another bottle of scotch. I'm headed down to my lab to tinker with my suit some more. If we really end up going to war, well, I want to make sure we're all prepared." And with that, he left Natasha at the bar.
How simple it would be, to simply cast his magic out of his body for a few minutes, and feel the cold night wind increase tenfold, as gravity yanked him down from the monstrous building known as the Avengers Tower. It was morning now, and he finally proceeded inside to shower.
"Brother! Good morning! I trust you slept well!" Thor's obnoxiously chipper voice made Loki cringe.
"I'm fine Thor. Seriously, can I not go five minutes without hearing your incessant chatter when I've just woken up?"
Thor blinked once and stepped back. "Of course." Loki gave a curt nod and disappeared down the corridor.
"Thor, haven't the two of you had this argument every morning since you've been here?" Steve asked. The rest of the Avengers (aside from Tony of course, who was most likely passed out in his lab)were already at the breakfast table and serving the food onto their plates.
"Yes," Thor sighed plopping between Bruce and Clint. "I had figured his irritation level would have gone down by now, but he just seems to get aggravated so quickly now."
Clint snorted. "You realize who you're speaking of right? When has Loki ever been easy to be around, or even a decent-"
"Clint." Bruce said in warning as he noticed Thor's eyes flash briefly. Thor nodded in appreciation towards Dr. Banner. As much as Thor understood why Barton would never fully trust Loki, the constant not-so-subtle jabs were beginning to get on Thor's nerves.
Changing the subject Thor turned to the one who had not spoken this whole morning. "Agent Romanoff, what keeps you so silent on this fine morning?" Natasha looked up and shrugged her shoulders. "Oh it's nothing, I just had a bit of a late night with our resident alcoholic."
The Avengers all knew how Tony could be when he was drunk so they just left it at that. As the usual chaos of the morning continued, Natasha couldn't help but be bothered by something that was said earlier.
"Leaving already Nat? I only kicked your ass like three times. You usually wait to beat me before you go."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh please Clint, I decided to give you a break for once. After all, doesn't it suck to lose all the time? Besides, as I stated this morning, Stark and I had a late night so I'd like to try and get some actual sleep tonight." Nat gave Clint a sly grin. "Trust me, and appreciate the break you're going to get because I foresee a long losing streak in your future."
Clint laughed and packed up his equipment and followed her out of the training room. "G'night Nat."
"Goodnight." Natasha went to her room and sat there until she heard Stark retreat to his lab. He was always the last one up, so she quietly slipped out of her room and went towards the common areas of the tower.
Loki was outside again. No matter how many nights he sat out here, he would always be in awe of the bright lights that lit up the city. He also knew, that he would never understand mortals and their strange tendencies. When he heard someone come across the balcony, it just confirmed that to be even more true.
Natasha hesitated before she stepped outside, into the crisp night air. She gathered herself, and walked towards Loki and sat down beside him, her legs dangling off the ledge. They sat in silence for a little while, watching the city below.
"Agent Romanoff, to what do I owe the pleasure?" His words were dripping in sarcasm but his face remained impassive.
"Stark mentioned that he sees you out here every night. Last night was the first time that I had seen you out here." Loki raised an eyebrow, as if to tell her to get to the point. Natasha silently laughed at how ridiculous this was. Just because they weren't trying to kill each other at the moment, didn't mean they weren't still enemies. Regardless, she pressed on.
"Have you slept at all since you've been here?"
Silence.
"Loki." He looked over at her. "It's almost been a month. And don't even tell me that Asgardians don't need that much sleep because I know for a fact that if Thor could sleep three days in a row, he would." Loki's mouth twitched upward. He was well aware of Thor's sleeping habits, and the Black Widow was correct. Asgardians needed sleep just as mortals did.
Natasha practically stared at him, trying to get a read on what he was thinking or feeling. For the God of Lies, he was pretty good at hiding things, except his eyes. Loki new that his eyes were so damn expressive, and yet he allowed her to make eye contact for no more than a second.
That second was all she needed. "Oh," he heard her say as he focused his gaze down towards the Square of Time.
Natasha was mildly surprised at what she had learned. "Is what you see when you sleep really so bad, that you haven't slept in a month?" Loki threw his head back and gave a dry, humorless laugh. How naïve she was. Well, no not naïve. For a mortal she was very perceptive.
"Agent Romanoff, I have not slept willingly in nearly three years. Unless you count unconsciousness as sleep."
"I personally don't count that as sleep. But to each their own. What on Earth could be so bad that you won't sleep at all? I mean, you know my past and what 'mortal' horrors I have gone through, and things that I've done. But even that would only keep me up a few days at most-" "I actually don't know exactly what you've done. I never pressed Agent Barton for that much information the last time we were... acquainted. But no, nothing on Earth could cause me any form of stress aside the fact that I was beaten by a misfit band of mortals."
Natasha huffed a little at that, but let it go. She shuddered a little bit, as she suddenly became aware of the bitter cold of the night air. She slowly rose to her feet but stopped before going back inside. "I wish you would try and sleep." Loki stared straight ahead and ignored her request. Knowing she wouldn't receive an answer she stepped inside, closing the door behind her.
Loki turned around just in time to see her fade into the shadows of the dimly lit hallways and shook his head. Feeling his energy drained even more than usual, he almost considered the spy's request. However, the second he tried to blink and keep his eyes closed for more than a few seconds, his eyes flew open, and his heart rate picked up significantly. He stayed in the same position until the sun began to rise, eyes staring listlessly into the distance. Natasha was the first one awake and found him that way. She had convinced Thor to just let him be, never informing him that he had been out there all night, God knows the tower would not know a minute of peace and quiet for quite some time if Thor had discovered that Loki wasn't exactly taking care of himself.
Loki was quite the enigma indeed.
Over the course of the next few days, The Avengers fell into a sort of routine. Dr. Banner would work with Stark on upgrading and modifying weapons. Clint would complain about Loki, and spend time with Nat. Thor would talk to his brother, only to be ignored. Steve and Thor would spend time together trying to learn all the modern ways of Midgard. A lot has changed since Cap went under the ice.
Perhaps the strangest new routine was that of Natasha's. She seemed mildly more quiet than usual, not that she was a loud person to begin with. But Clint had noticed how she retired for the night early, was usually the first one up, and how she just seemed tired in general.
Loki as usual, would sit outside all night, and lock himself in his chambers for the remainder of the day, occasionally gracing the others with his presence for food, and the daily morning argument with Thor.
It was night again, and sticking true to their normal schedules Natasha took her usual spot next to Loki.
"What happened in between now and the last time you were here on Earth? You barely talk. You don't sleep. You eat once a day, if that."
Loki pursed his lips. "Why do you come out here? Why do you want to know? Why are you keeping track?" Loki grinned. "You see Agent Romanoff, we can go in circles all day about this."
Natasha bit her lip and sighed in thought. "Alright. You're a diplomat right? Then lets make a deal." She had certainly caught him off guard considering that his posture straightened greatly. In truth, Loki was surprised. What could she possibly have to bargain with?
"I'm listening."
"Okay, well we both have questions we want answered right? Well we'll do a trade off. You ask me a question, I answer, and vice versa. And as a bonus, you can choose to back out of one question, if it really makes you uncomfortable."
Loki nodded in agreement. "I assume you will get to back out of a question as well." "Only if I need to. Other than that I'll be a mostly open book. You can ask first, if you want." Natasha said.
"Very well. How can you stand to do this? If I were you, I would have stayed far away." Natasha quirked an eyebrow.
"Yeah well, every single one of us has done things that we aren't proud of. I would be a hypocrite if I were to condemn you for things that you've done in the past when my own ledger is dripping in red. My turn. What happened when you returned to Asgard?"
Loki swallowed. "I was chained and muzzled and brought before the King-" "Your father," Natasha interjected. Loki's eyes flashed dangerously. "He is NOT my father! Now if you'll allow me to finish, I was sentenced to life in a cage, visitors forbidden." He finished quickly.
Natasha was surprised at how mild the punishment seemed for starting a war. "Alright, lets change the rules real quick. We each got one question today, but I have to be up early tomorrow for a meeting with Fury. We'll continue tomorrow?"
Loki reluctantly nodded his head. he wanted this to be over now. Without a word Natasha slipped inside.
"Thor. Can I talk to you for a minute?"
Thor leapt up from his spot on the couch and followed the Black Widow away from the rest of the Avengers who were gathered around the living room.
"Yes Lady Natasha?"
"I know I have no business asking this, but what happened after you took Loki back to Asgard? He was imprisoned right? How is he out already?"
"Ah," Thor said. "Tis a dark and lengthy tale indeed, to which I only know part of. Loki was imprisoned for nearly a year when all Hel broke loose. There was a prison outbreak, our mother, Queen Frigga was fatally injured in battle, a rare feat. After that things began to calm down, until one day Loki simply disappeared from his cell. I had searched all of Asgard and he was nowhere to be found. I then went to Heimdall, and asked for him to use his all-seeing eyes to find my brother, but alas even Heimdall could not sense him. I went searching from realm to realm with no luck. It had been about two or three years after I ceased searching, he appeared out of nowhere in the gardens of my home world. It was only hours that he appeared that the Allfather had received news of war threatening the realms. He sent me to Midgard to prepare you for potential battle. I had insisted about bringing Loki along. This was not the first time I thought I had lost him, and I sincerely doubt that it will be the last."
Natasha was listening quietly, the gears in her head turning. "Thank you Thor. I was just curious as to how all this had happened." She turned on her heels and walked purposefully through the maze of a tower.
Knock knock knock.
Loki grit his teeth and did his best to ignore it and wait for Thor to go away.
Knock knock knock. For gods sake, his brother was truly a buffoon. Was he really that oblivious? Huffing Loki got up and flung the door open, his insults dying on the tip of his tongue. Looking down, a certain red headed agent was leaning against the wall, her arms folded.
"Hey. You mind if I come in for a minute?" Loki, still surprised, stepped aside allowing her to pass through. Natasha sat on the corner of his perfectly made bed. Closing the door behind him, Loki remained standing, leaning against the wall across from her.
The Black Widow took a deep breath. "I spoke with Thor today. I know a lot of what happened before you got here. But even he said that he was not there for much of what happened. I want to know what happened."
Loki's jaw clenched in anger. He was unclear as to what he was more angry about. That this- this mortal of all people demanded information from him? Or that she ran to Thor when he wouldn't talk. Either way, he had run right out of patience. Natasha must have sensed his change in behavior and abruptly stood up. In the blink of an eye two daggers appeared in his hands and he lunged forward.
"So what you're trying to tell us, is that some mad titan, is trying to rule the whole universe? I thought Tony nuked them years ago!" exasperated, Clint leaned back rubbing his temples. Natasha had missed Thor beginning to explain what little he knew of the upcoming fight that was sure to wreak havoc on Midgard.
Seated around the living room, the Avengers were trying to absorb as much information as they could. "Unbelievable," Tony said. Finishing his 3rd bottle of alcohol in less than an hour, he tossed his head back laughing. "We almost lost against the Chitauri the first time. Now they have an even bigger army being led by someone who's even stronger that a God!? We're screwed." He cackled.
"Tony that's enough. Nothing about this is remotely funny and you've had way to much to drink," Steve scolded. He reached forward to grab the last unopened bottle from Stark, when Tony's eyes flashed dangerously.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you Cap. I'm really not in the mood." They both stood up ready to tussle if need be but before Thor and Bruce could interject and tell them to stop acting like children, an invisible force sent the five men flying backwards.
CRASH
In an instant Stark was in his suit, Banner hulked out, and Thor and Clint were rushing towards the direction that the blast had come from.
Clint was the first to arrive to Loki's room and kicked the door open. The rest of them squeezed their way into the room, weapons raised when Clint yelled, "Nat!"
Natasha was pinned up against the wall, with her right leg bent at an awkward angle. Loki was bleeding from his abdomen, which gave Clint a small feeling of satisfaction. The tip of Loki's dagger pressed up against her throat sent Clint into a rampage. Bow drawn, he inched toward the pair. "Step away right now and I'll let you keep both of your eyes."
Loki's initial look of anger transformed into manic smile. "Well I think we all knew a blowout was inevita-" Loki hissed as the arrow pierced his shoulder, causing his grip on the dagger to falter. Seizing the opportunity, Natasha looped her arm around Loki's and knocked the dagger loose. Clutching her newfound weapon, she ducked under Loki and rolled to the side.
Thor was angry. The Avengers were kind enough to host them even though Loki was their enemy. "Brother! What is the meaning of thi-"
Applying pressure to his shoulder wound, his injured arm still carrying his second dagger, Loki whirled around. "I am NOT your brother! How many times must I tell you this before you get it through your thick skull!" Thor flinched like a wounded puppy. Angered, Loki set up a barrier of magic between himself, Agent Romanoff, and Barton, separating the three of them from Stark, the Hulk, Cap, and Thor.
"You know Cap, I think they got it covered. What do you say me and you try to bring Banner back?" Stark suggested. Cap agreed for once. If the Hulk brought the whole building down on them, Natasha would be even more injured. Plus Dr. Banner would have to tend to her wounds. "Hey Hulk, what do you say we go smash some training dummies, so you can let Banner come back and help fix Natasha?" Steve asked.
"Hulk smash!" He stomped down the hall to head to the training room. Tony and Steve quickly followed to make sure Hulk didn't break anything on the way down.
With much more room, and Loki facing Thor, Clint hopped up and tackled Loki to the ground. They were both punching each other, when Clint grabbed his bow from his back and slammed it into Loki's shoulder. The usual pristine green and black leather was quickly gaining a maroon like color. Clint grinned. So God's could bleed. Loki had long since stopped relying on his right arm to do anything, but when Clint had anticipated Loki's left hook, the god thrust his right arm forward punching Barton's jaw. Caught by surprise, Clint had accidentally unpinned Loki.
By the time Loki freed himself and managed to stand upright, Barton was already standing, bow at the ready with an arrow pointed directly at Loki's forehead.
"Any last words?" Clint spat. Loki remained silent staring straight ahead.
Natasha pushed her self up off against the wall, heavily favoring her left leg. "Barton," Her voice was tight. "That's enough. Put it down."
Clint looked at her bewildered. "Nat did he give you a concussion too? He tried to kill you! More than once!"
"If you're going to shoot, me can we please get on with it?" Loki sounded bored. If it was even possible, Loki had become even paler than usual, and a red puddle began to pool at his feet.
"Clint. I am not going to repeat myself. Put the bow down, and leave."
Clint couldn't believe his ears. "Are you insane? I know he's in your mind because-" Natasha cut him off with an icy stare that almost impressed the Frost Giant. "This fight was my fault. I overstepped my boundaries, so he reacted. That's all. There is no evil ulterior motive here."
Barton's mouth gaped open for a millisecond, then snapped shut. If this was how she wanted to play, then fine. He swiftly left the room, the magic barrier only preventing people from entering the room, not exiting.
A moment after he left, Loki waved his hand, and Natasha's leg instantly straightened out. She rubbed her thigh just as the bones finished mending together, and looked up at the visibly drained god. "I'm sorry for pushing you too far. And thank you for fixing my leg."
Loki opened his mouth as if to speak, when he collapsed onto the floor.
It was absolutely freezing. Loki opened his eyes and he was... in Jotunheim? Great. Standing up, he looked around. He was atop an icy mountain, near the outskirts of the ice palace.
Crunch
Someone was coming, and he was trapped. He readied himself, preparing for whatever was to come around the bend. As soon as he saw who it was, his mouth dropped. Laufey. But wasn't he dead? Something else caught the trickster's eye. Laufey was holding a baby.
'That's me.' He relized
It was apparent that Loki was not visible to Laufey, or else he would sure he would have been dead by now.
The frost giant tossed the baby down, landing near Loki's feet.
"You're an embarrassment to the Jotunheim throne, and an embarrassment to me. How a Laufeyson could be a runt, I have no idea. But I am glad to be rid of you, keeping the royal bloodline pure." Laufey turned back and disappeared.
Loki blinked and he was in Asgard, his past self's crying still ringing in his ears. He relived every single horrid memory of his childhood. From his father always praising Thor, and the Warriors Three and Sif mocking him for his lack of skill in physical battle, making fun of his magic. He felt nauseous.
He had to relive the elves stitching his mouth shut because of that idiotic brute he called brother. He licked his lips.
Everything else went by in a blur. The sudden revelation that he was a frost giant, the very monster that parents told their children about at night. The incident on the Bifrost. Him choosing to fall to his death.
The void. He didn't know that frost giants could get cold, but here he was, falling for an eternity and shaking like a leaf. Eventually he landed. He hoped he was dead. Looking around, his heart sank. He wasn't. It was a pity really.
If he thought his life was rough before this point in his life, he was going to learn today that his life was going to get much, much worse.
For about three years he knew only two things. Pain, and Thanos.
Beatings, broken bones, knives, questioning, repeat. Whatever this maniac wanted him to do, he wasn't going to help.
Loki looked at himself in disgust. He looked pitiful. He was a god and he didn't even fight back. The more he was broken, the longer it took for his magic to heal him. It drained him so much that eventually he stopped trying to heal himself at all.
One day, Loki snapped and tried to fight some of them off, to escape. Unfortunately he failed miserably and was caught. His new permanent punishment was rough. If he so much as made a single noise, a scream, a whimper, a sigh, anything, Thanos would come down to personally torture him in ways he couldn't even imaginable.
Loki was a lot tougher than he looked. He stayed silent for weeks, and clearly the Chitauri were pissed about it. So, they beat him and shattered his left leg. He bit his tongue until he tasted blood.
The Chitauri, still dissatisfied hauled him up to his feet and made him walk, knives pointed towards his back. Tears silently streamed down his face as he struggled to put any weight on his ruined leg. A knife got uncomfortably close to his kidney, so he tried to step forward. White hot pain shot through his whole body and he made the slightest of sounds, a cross between a groan and a whimper. He blacked out.
When he woke, he was in the presence of Thanos. Pulling out a staff with a glowing blue orb, he stalked over towards Loki.
"Are you aware of what the infinity stones are?" Obviously Loki didn't answer his question. "This staff contains the mind stone. It's very powerful, and is useful in persuasion. The rest of it's power is pretty self-explanatory. With this, you are going to go down to Midgard and retrieve the Tesseract for me. Fail, and we will find you. how would you like to experience this for about the next 4000 years, give or take?"
Loki weakly shook his head and rasped, "I will not help you."
Thanos laughed, actually laughed out loud. "Clearly you do not believe in the power of the Mind Stone. Let's see how easily you are persuaded."
"Why won't you just let me die?"
Thanos raised the scepter and pointed it at Loki's head. "You do not deserve death. You think you know pain? You will long for something as sweet as pain."
The scepter closed the gap and touched Loki's forehead. A blinding blue light lit up the scene before him.
Unconsciousness was an old friend of his, from a very bad place in his life. That being said, it was perfectly understandable that Loki shot up like a rocket and scared the shit out of Natasha. He was disoriented and panicking, conjuring a dagger and slashing at the air wildly.
She leapt backwards, but maintained a soothing tone. "Hey, hey Loki. It's alright you're in the Avengers tower. You're safe."
Loki stopped and looked at her, finally realizing where he was. It took him a minute to register what she was said, and had the most odd reaction. Throwing his head back, he laughed a cold, humorless laugh.
"No one is safe Agent Romanoff. Thanos is coming."
Natasha called a meeting, excluding Loki. He specifically said he wanted to be left alone after his little episode and he disappeared. That was two hours ago and she hadn't seen him since.
The Avengers gathered in Stark's meeting room and sat down around the table.
"What's this about Natasha?" Bruce asked.
"My brother no doubt." Thor stated darkly. "Whatever he's done-"
"It's not about Loki. Well it kind of is, but not something bad that he did. After someone," she looked pointedly at Clint, "tried to beat him within an inch of his life, he passed out. He was out for maybe half an hour, but he was making a lot of noise."
Tony perked up. "Like having a nightmare?" Natasha nodded her head.
"What's crazy is, I don't really think it was a nightmare. I think he was reliving whatever happened when he was missing for three years."
"Do you think we could find out what happened?" Steve asked. "That information could turn out to be really important."
Thor jumped up out of his seat. "I agree Captain Rogers. I will go ask Loki about this right away."
"Thor, wait!" Natasha called stopping him dead in his tracks. "Look I understand that you love your brother and wan to help, but I don't think you're the best person for the job."
Thor opened his mouth to protest, but then sat down, looking like a kicked puppy. "You are right Natasha, Loki has a tendency to shut down when I am around."
"Some people aren't comfortable opening up to anyone, Thor. It's not your fault." Steve and Bruce did their best to assure him that this was normal.
Clint who had been glowering the whole time, cleared his throat and said, "So we had to come down here to discuss bad dreams? Are you kidding me?"
Natasha was honestly sick and tired of Clint's crap. "No, actually I called this meeting to let you all know that Thanos is on his way. He'll be here in a couple of weeks."
Everyone's jaw dropped.
"You just decided to tell us this now?!"
"Why did you think it was a good idea to start with Loki's dreams?!"
"I bet Loki led him right to us. He's been playing us all along. I knew it!"
"Agent Romanoff, may I ask how you found out this information?"
They all shut up and looked at her expectantly.
"Loki told me." Thor looked up with a questioning look on his face. "He just... told you? He must respect you a great deal because he never opens- Natasha! That's it!"
"You can get Loki to tell you what happened," Bruce said. "Maybe he can help."
Natasha shook her head. "I'll ask him, but I'm not going to manipulate him into sharing."
Steve respected her a little extra after that.
"I'll do my best. But Stark?" Tony looked up quick, because truthfully he was a little scared of her. In fact there was probably something wrong with you if you weren't scared of the Black Widow.
She noticed the shocked look on his face and gave a small smile. "I could use your help."
They spent the next twenty minutes going over the plan. Clint, Thor, Bruce, and Steve were to stay far away from them later that night. Watch a movie, go out or stay in their rooms, it didn't matter. The plan was set in place, and all they could do now was wait for nightfall.
Loki was on his way to the balcony like he had done every other night.
"Hey Reindeer Games!" Tony was behind the bar holding up an enormous bottle of alcohol waving it around. "Care to join us?"
Loki raised an eyebrow when Natasha seemingly appeared out of nowhere and made herself a martini. Wordlessly, he slipped onto a barstool still feeling very confused at what was happening.
"Loki, I'm not going to lie to you," she spoke slowly trying to choose her words carefully. "What happened to you when you were missing for those three years?"
Immediately he stiffened and looked like he was ready to bolt.
"Loki listen." Tony used his real name, which is what shocked him into staying. "We don't want to know about this for no reason. Believe me. I think Nat and I have a hunch, but we obviously can't say for sure."
Loki bit his cheek and inhaled. "What would you like to know?"
Stark poured Loki a drink and slid it across the counter, looking at Natasha.
She took a sip of her drink and replied, "Everything."
So Loki got into it. He talked about his issues with the whole Odinson/Laufeyson business, to which Tony seemed familiar with. He talked about the void and falling and being found by the Chitauri and Thanos. He told them about Thanos' plan to collect all six infinity stones to wipe out half of the universe.
He paused, and Tony took the opportunity to put Nat's plan into action.
"You know, I was in Afghanistan for three months. I had shrapnel in my heart, which is how I got the arc reactor. That's why your scepter didn't work on me. I wanted to die. I thought I was ready. All of the things of my past just came up. They did open heart surgery while I was awake. Falling unconscious was a blessing. Anyway, they kept me alive for a reason. They wanted me to help hurt people. I refused. It took me a while to be able to talk about it, but yeah. They tortured me for three months, until I finally got out."
Tony talked about his experience, hoping Loki would not feel as nervous. If that didn't work, Natasha was going to talk about the Red Room. Tony assured her that it wasn't going to get to that.
Loki scowled.
Nat and Tony glanced at each other grateful that he didn't catch on. Or maybe he did, and was choosing to ignore it.
"Loki," Natasha's voice was soft. "What you want to do to the people that hurt Tony, is what we want to do to whoever hurt you. So what happened with the Chitauri? We care, and we want to stop Thanos, so you need to help us help you."
"So you already know. Or have an idea at least."
Loki still not comfortable admitting weakness, shut down immediately, his tone turning cold, "Well, if I've told you all that you needed to know, I bid you goodnight." Loki leapt up from his stool and headed out to the balcony.
Natasha's face remained expressionless as Loki left. Tony glanced at Natasha, just as disappointed as she was that they didn't get the information they had hoped for.
"Nat, will you be good up here?"
She nodded, and stood up, draining the rest of her drink. "You work on your suit and whatever else we need. I have something I need to do."
A couple hours later, Natasha went up to the balcony and sat next to Loki, who was a little closer to the ledge than normal.
"You weren't planning on jumping, were you?" Judging by the face he made, and the look in his eyes she already knew the answer.
"How did you know?" he asked.
"You're perceptive about everyone except yourself." Natasha said.
Loki froze. "What did you just say?"
"You have more people looking out for you than you think."
Loki ignored her comment. They just sat in silence.
Eventually, Loki looked at Natasha. "Do you know what it feels like to split your skull?"
"I can't say that I do. I'm sure I can imagine how painful it must be."
Loki looked back straight ahead. "Thanos can get inside my mind whenever he wants. That's what it feels like."
Natasha's heart legitimately hurt for this man that she spent so many nights out here with. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
Loki bit back his usual 'I don't need your pity' retort.
"So am I."
"Loki listen to me. I know you don't think I understand what you're going through, but if what we suspect is true, I do. I get it and it sucks but the Avenger's have your back."
Deep down he was grateful for her words. "Sentiment. It will end up being your downfall."
She shrugged. "Everyone meets their downfall eventually. Our job is to make sure that the masses don't meet their end prematurely."
Loki was surprised at her nonchalant tone. "How can you talk about death as though it is a minor inconvenience?"
"Everybody dies eventually. Some people sooner than others." She grabbed his hand. "I know life has treated you unfairly and when we beat Thanos, things will get better. We're all just hanging by a thread."
Oddly, he felt comforted. Thanos was coming, and he would be ready for it.