Disclaimer: I will never be the genius that is JKR, no matter how much plastic surgery. All things you may recognise belong to her. I do not own Harry Potter, do you honestly think I'd be writing fanfic if I did?
THUD
Now you may be confused as to why exactly the recently appointed Head Boy of Hogwarts is currently lying on his face, in the prefect's compartment, in a lifeless heap on the floor? Well, to be frank, all of us are, but let's rewind the last five minutes and figure out what just happened…
-Flashback-
September 1st, Hogwarts Express, 5 minutes ago
Yes, I admit that I was shocked. I was utterly flabbergasted in fact, that Dumbledore, of all people, actually approved of James Bloody Potter being my fellow Head Student. But I wasn't going to let it show. Oh, no. Not in front of him - the source of my annoyance and constant high stress levels for my entire school duration.
I decided, in that moment, that even though I still haven't forgiven Potter for that incident in fifth year (and 1st year, and 2nd year, and 3rd year…), I wasn't going to let my feelings (all negative, I can assure you) for James 'The-magnificent' Potter get in the way. I had to show him I was bigger than that. Or at least, I had to appear that I put all our differences aside, and try to at least cooperate.
No, childish behaviour would get us no where. So I sucked it up and outstretched my hand in as friendly a gesture as I could muster, hoping he would take it. I guess this was too much for his little brain to handle, because he stood there gaping like a fish, seemingly gobsmacked. It soon appeared to dawn on him that I expected him to shake my hand. He did so, but still with that bewildered look on his face.
Things were getting a little awkward, so I decided to speak up.
"Well Pot-James. Congratulations on the new position." I did well to conceal a grimace when I said his name, but I guess I had to do it if we were going to be Heads together. "It seems we will be working closely together this year."
Apparently this new revelation was too much for him, because before I knew it, he was out cold on the floor.
Only after I said those last few words did I know it was the wrong thing to do. I honestly didn't realise what implications those words held when said to a person like Potter.
Bad move.
Well, at least I didn't get that infuriating smirk that would have undoubtedly appeared if he was in his right mind. But obviously he wasn't, so all I got was a fainting 7th year.
Well.
This is weird.
Not exactly what I was expecting.
-End of flashback-
Which brings us back to now, where I, Lily Evans, am currently standing over the unconscious form of the aforementioned James, I-am-too-cool-for-school, Potter.
Well. This is weird.
And judging by Remus's face, he must think so too.
So…there we were; Remus, I, and a couple of other prefects who turned up early, trying to figure out what had just happened.
It was at this moment that Potter's fellow pranksters and partners in crime decided to burst through the doors, presumably startled by the thud that came from Potter.
So, in comes Sirius 'look-at-my-dazzling-hair-that-you-are-so-obviously-jealous-of' Black and his usual elegant swagger (how does he even do that?), with Peter 'I-bet-I-can-eat-more-pumpkin-pasties-than-you-and-still-have-room-for-pudding' Pettigrew not too far behind.
And no, it is perfectly normal to make up nicknames that adequately sum up particular qualities associated with certain individuals.
Perfectly normal.
"Good Godric Evans, couldn't you have at least waited until we were in the castle to hex him?" Thanks Sirius, really, it's nice to know you trust me so much.
Sarcasm. Note the sarcasm.
Well, I couldn't exactly let him get away with this unjust and unwarranted accusation, so I formulated my witty retort. I am Lily Evans, Head Girl, after all. I had to be business-like and formal. I had to show him who's boss.
"Sorry to inform you Black, but this was his own doing." Look out world, Miss Head Girl of Hogwarts is here.
Merlin, I really am losing it.
"So, wait, he hexed himself?" Mr Too-much-hair-product enquired.
"No, but I wouldn't put it past him. With a brain like that, I'm surprised he even knows which way to point his wand." Okay, maybe a little harsh, but I wasn't going to appear all soft on them now. They may get the wrong idea and think I'll let them off whenever they pull a prank or the like. I knew what they were planning, yes, and I would never let that happen. This school has gone too long letting them off lightly for their heinous crimes.
Over exaggerating, I hear you say?
Me?
Not in the slightest. Okay, maybe a little. Don't give me that look. Arrrg. I swear this place will drive me insane before I even stay a full day.
So anyway, Sirius and Peter dragged the unconscious Potter to their own compartment to see if they could wake him up. I told them that he looked pretty out of it and had quite a hard landing, so it may be a while until he comes around. They just dismissed my statement with a wave of a hand and said "We'll get him up, don't you worry. We have our ways", and with a wink from Sirius they were gone.
That left me, Remus, and a compartment full of amused looking prefects to deal with.
Right.
All I had to do was give them instructions about patrolling, give a quick speech on the importance of being a prefect, explain what such a position entails, and go over the general rules, yadda yadda.
All sounds pretty straightforward and simple, doesn't it?
Well, not for me. You see, I'm not all that comfortable with public speaking, and it didn't really help that, as Head Girl, I was expected to be confident and show that I could lead students. But, alas, I was a coward. I honestly didn't think anyone would have chosen me as Head Girl. I mean, I am hopeless with crowds.
Don't get me wrong, I am very sociable, and I get along with almost everyone I meet, but in front of a room full of prefects, I was hopeless. And all by my self, I must add, for my fellow head just had to pick that moment to collapse on me. Great.
Remus must have seen my hesitation, as he gave me an encouraging smile.
I glanced around the carriage and smiled weakly, the only sound being the rattling of the train. Eight sets of eyes were on me, as if expecting I would finally drop my calm appearance and blow up at the fact that Potter was Head Boy. I was seriously considering it too, but I remembered that I was there to do a simple job, be Head Girl, and give a good first impression.
Oh, who was I kidding? I was literally shaking with emotion. I couldn't keep it in any longer.
I burst out laughing.
And not just a hearty chuckle, I was full-on doubled over with laughter.
What can I say? I couldn't help it.
The other students were shocked, to say the least. All of them were bracing themselves for shouting fit they were sure that was coming. This was not what they expected.
Not exactly what I expected either.
AN: So, you have just read the first instalment of 'I didn't see that coming'. I hoped you enjoyed it, It's my first crack at fanfic. I have big ideas for this story, and hopefully lots of drama and comedy to come. I'm just saying sorry in advance for any inaccuracies and mistakes I may make, but I will try to keep this as accurate and canon as possible. If you find any mistakes I may have made regarding timelines/characters etc, you are welcome to tell me. But please note that I have taken a bit of creative licence with some of the characters, just to make them a bit more realistic.
Review if you like, I would love to hear what you think.