An Evening on the Rift
By: PastorJohn
Thomas was just a regular lad coming home from the school, he chucked off his uniform sweater revealing some of his teenage toned muscles and sat down at his computer and proceeded to launch the league client.
It wasn't long before something caught his eye. It was a new Ahri skin and it revealed some cleavage. Thomas was restless; he knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to launch some new years fireworks but his mom was in his room.
Thomas impatiently waited for his mother to pick up his dirty laundry and leave the room, as she closed the door he opened up his browser. However as Thomas began typing a purple flash illuminated the room blinding him for a split second. As Thomas regained vision there was purple smoke coming from his pc tower. The shock of the flash and the smoke coming from his PC killed Thomas' boner as he began using his computer to check if everything still worked. Surprisingly his PC was completely fine, so Thomas decided to play a game on the rift. He locked in Tristana, as he preferred the bot lane and began the game. 20 minutes in Thomas was popping off and just killed 4 enemies in quick succession for the Quadra kill, however scumbag Teemo on his team stole the Penta. In rage Thomas smacked the screen touching Tristana's image on his monitor. Another purple flash blinded him and as he regained vision and looked around the room, Tristana was lying down on the couch right behind him...
Thomas had tasted chicken before. Heck, it was rumored that his grandfather enjoyed the company of a special sheep called Dolly. However, he had never had elf before. He stared at Tristan before finally saying, "You've got a nice cannon but let me show you a real cannon." He walked towards Tristana when she finally said "Ain't goooot noOO diDDLy DooDLY DEEDLY time for DAT" and evaded his grasp. She kept evading and dodging his advances and when he was finally about to catch her something tugged at his feet. He looked down but he could not see anything until he felt a dart in his back. He knew who shot him and who tugged at his feet. It was Teemo. Thomas's smile transformed into a grin and his saliva rained on the ground uncontrollably. After the saliva monsoon took its course, Thomas licked his lips and whispered "Time for you to do your duty, Captain Teemo"