Kokoro no Sumika ShinjixKowaru

A/N: The world needs more Shinji/Kaworu! Everyone really likes Asuka/Shinji as a pairing, but I personally dislike it, so that's why I'm writing this! :3 This is YAOI so, these are 2 MALE LOVERS, kapeesh? I own nothing...But if you want, you can pretend I do! This is to the first ending song of heat guy J, "Kokoro no Sumika". Lyrics are in /.../. Read on!

Shinji P.O.V.

I sigh softly, sitting cross-legged on my futon, absently staring at Kaworu sleeping beside me. Strong, morning sunlight streams into the room and I can only wonder how Kaworu is not bothered by this. His pale skin looks soft and radiant in the light. His eyes are shut peacefully, and his face shows the reminiscent of a smile. I wish I could be as blissful as him when he sleeps and not plagued by dark thoughts and nightmares.

We're dressed in casual pajama clothes, since we don't have any school today and can sleep-in. Obviously, Kaworu has taken advantage of this fact. I glance at the digital clocks flashing red numbers. 9:00am. Kaworu rolls over and stretches out, not quite awake and not-quite asleep. He's still dreaming though. His shirt rides up and I can see his midriff. I blush slightly, and can't help but gently stroke Kaworu's snowy white hair out of his eyes. I can't get too attached to him, so that he isn't burdened by a mortal like me.

/Your warm, soft, and comfortable voice has backfired on me now.

This was good for the both of us./

While Kaworu is basking in the sun, I'm sitting here, almost alone. But then again, just by being in your presence I feel safer. I feel more secure when you have you arms protectively snaked around my body. I feel loved when you kiss away my tears and whisper into my ear. Yet, I feel confused when you sit all alone and don't speak, even to me. Are you afraid that someday I won't love you? This tentative love will turn into something resembling a broken heart someday, and I can't stand it. Loving an Angel makes me feel so insupperior.

/The line that doesn't even fit me is now reminding me of you even more.

The loneliness which basked in the morning sun without sleep

Is still bound to your love./

"Good Morning, Shin-chan" Kaworu says sweetly, staring up at me with half- lidded ruby eyes. I love his voice. I love the way he speaks to me especially, since he hides nothing and conveys everything to me.

"Good morning, Kaworu" I reply, smiling at Kaworu drowsiness. He's so cute like this.

"I'm going back to sleep now, okay?" he asks, his head dropping back onto the soft pillow. I smile and nod slightly and Kaworu wraps himself up in blankets and instantly falls asleep. I lean in and gently kiss his forehead, briefly embracing him.

"I love you" I whisper softly before I get up and find a pen and a piece of paper, to write a note explaining why I am leaving.

/I just desperately try to find where I'm headed.

Can you whisper to me with that voice?/

Tears sting in my eyes, as I apologise for something I'm not sure of. I'm not even sure what I have done, but it means something to Kaworu. It's better this way if he can do what he has to do on his own, and I will live somewhere else. I'm not good enough for such a perfect creation as him. I will only cause him to suffer a feeling of despair and he'll feel trapped. I bite my lip and I sign my name.

[1]Aishiteru zutto...Shinji

I grab a pre-packed bag and don't even bother to change into normal clothes.

"Goodbye, my Angel" I say softly, rubbing a tear off of my face before turning and leaving Kaworu behind.

NORMAL P.O.V.

"Oh, Shinji" Kaworu says, tears staining his cheeks, "Why couldn't you just have spoken out your feelings? I really love you..." Kaworu curled up in his futon and hugged his pillow, sobbing miserably in the morning light.

/If I knew it would be painful like this, I wish I hadn't met you./

A/N: Wow, sad. That's a first for me. I love writing sad stories, if only if I'm in the mood. Yeah, I wanted to do a song fic, so that's what I did! I'm liking this whole ff.net thingy! I might write a little continuation!

(gaspeth more than one chapter?! THE WORLD HAS COME TO AN END!!!!!) Yeah, I'm done now...Please review my little demented stories! :3