"Come on Jenny Humphrey, you can do this. First day of Senior year - you've got it all under control. Yep, you know that you had your nobody stage, racoon eyes stage, the fashion freak stage and even the Queen stage but now you're you. I'm me. I've got this," I repeated to myself in the mirror, not that it was gonna actually do anything.
However, who am I without a weird ego? I need something to represent me because at the moment I'm back to nothing Jenny and that doesn't feel very interesting. Long blonde curls, small cat eyes and heeled ankle boots; is that enough? But I can't look like I'm trying too hard. Okay fine just a little nude gloss to show that I am a friendly and approachable person. Right?
"Jennifer Tallulah Humphrey, you look beautiful and don't stress because you look better without the nail biting. Now go!" Serena smiled and left my door open.
"Okay. You've got this."
Dan, Chuck, Eric, Lily and Dad sat at the table eating the over expensive food while Serena brushed her hair in the mirror, they all seem so chilled. Lucky them.
"Jen hey! Come try a," he paused, "Lily what are they called again?"
"Hm I'm not sure but it tastes delightful! I think it's Italian..."
I smiled but declined and said I was heading off early and truthfully I just wanted to get out the house; it was full of confident people.
"Wait up, I'll just grab my bag," Eric called out before following me out to the car waiting outside. There's no going back now. I can do this. Why was I ever worried in the first place? I'm completely and utterly...
Terrified.
They waved us off from the top window, their faces beaming.
"Jen, your legs are going to fall of if they keep shaking like that, what's up?"
I hesitated, "Well..."
"Well?"
"I think I'm just... scared," he gestured for me to go on, "Like what will people think? The last time I was at that hell hole I thought I was going to die in embarrassment. It's going to be even more humiliating coming back."
He stopped to think and took his time. A long time.
"Er maybe they forgot?"
I sighed, "Oh great; all I have to do is brain wash them all and we're sorted! Eric, seriously - what do I do?"
"Well you've already gone through all the different phases a person physically can so you might just have to go hippie. It s your last option," he laughed, "But really, I think you should just see what happens and roll with it. If a guy talks to you, you should join his group, start a punk band and tour in Slovakia. I don't know! Just don't go all drug hugs."
We laughed until the car stopped and the thing I had been dreading all Summer awaited. Maybe a more berry lipstick would of worke-
"Jennifer Humphrey? Since when do you take a limo to school? Ugh, what a stuck up..." The three girls in matching fuchsia quilted jackets sashayed off with their hair flowing in the wind as if they were in Hollywood. What a great start.
I gave an unsure glance at Eric before taking my first steps of senior year. Whoa people already hate me, this year is going to be so much fun. Oh, I can't wait. I bet they've already sent hundreds of rumors to Gossip Girl.
"Jenny, good luck."
"You too."