"A has always been a total bitch, but this time, it's too cruel." Hanna whined, flopping backwards onto Spencer's bed. "I mean, this is totally worse than that time I had to eat all those stupid cupcakes."
"What about that time in which your mom was set up for murder?" Spencer retorted as she paced in front of her dresser. "I would think that was a crueler move."
"Alright, alright, let's stop this game of whose-A-baggage-is-bigger before we get off-track." Aria piped up just as Hanna was readying for a retort of her own. "We need to focus. Emily, can you read that text again?"
"'You bitches want a shot at saving poor mama Marin? Embrace your inner ho and get down at the line dancing competition at Rusty's Bar this weekend. First place gets all the cowbell, losers just get chapped. –A.'" Emily read the text she had received just minutes before out loud, and then slipped her phone back into her jacket pocket, sighing. "Charming as usual, right?"
"Okay, at least this text is straightforward. We go to this bar, wear cowboy hats, talk about cattle, dance in a line, and save Hanna's mom. Simple as that, right?" Aria said hopefully. Spencer scoffed.
"Nothing's every simple with A. There's got to be some further puzzle in this whole thing." Hanna frowned and sat up.
"Well, duh! Does anyone here know how to line dance?" After being met with silence, Hanna rolled her eyes and continued. "Therein lies the flub! We can't just expect to waltz into this bar and beat wannabe ranchers who probably live for this crap. We'll just embarrass ourselves, which of course isn't hard to do at a western bar. That's probably what the stupid bitch wants anyway."
"Rub. Therein lies the rub." Spencer corrected automatically, fingers going to her temple pensively.
"Whatever. Flub makes like eighty percent more sense." Hanna got to her feet, and came closer to the other girls. "We need line dancing lessons, stat, if we have a chance at squeezing something good out of this situation."
"You're right." Aria nodded in agreement. "Does anyone know anybody who can rock the electric slide?"
"Oh please." Spencer gave Aria a prime, patented Hastings are-you-kidding-me look. "Like anyone we would know would actually have the first clue about fucking line dancing."
"Actually…" Emily began, smiling awkwardly. The other girls' heads whipped towards her. More than one eyebrow may have been raised. "I do know someone who can help us out."
"Who?!" came the perfectly-synchronized chorus.
"Let's just go get in my car."
-x-
"Emily!" Paige exclaimed, smile blossoming on her face as she saw just exactly who had been knocking on her front door at ten o'clock on a Friday night. The look of unexpected joy just made Emily feel guiltier at what she was about to do to her sweet, loving, unsuspecting girlfriend. Said girlfriend pulled Emily in for a kiss and a hug. Emily breathed in Paige's smell, hoping against hope that the girl wasn't going to completely freak out at Emily's impending request. "What are you doing here, babe? I thought you were going to movie night at Spencer's?"
"I was, but, change of plans. Are your, um, parents home?" Emily asked somewhat nervously, and Paige chuckled as she pulled her head back so she could look at Emily face to face, raising an eyebrow.
"No, they're out for the weekend at some charity thing in Philly." Paige smirked, bringing her hand up to tuck a wayward strand of hair behind Emily's ear. "Why, Miss Fields, have you come all the way here from Hastings' for a late-night booty call? Can't say I'm opposed to the idea, although if you would have given me some heads-up I would have changed out of my grungy sweatpants into something a bit more suiting." Paige finished her sentence with a kiss to Emily's neck, smiling into it. Emily shivered, most definitely not from the cold, and for the thousandth time cursed the situation in which she found herself. For the briefest of seconds she considered how long the girls would be willing to wait in her Toyota before they came in (just fifteen minutes wouldn't be the end of the world, would it?) before sighing and doing the mature thing. Fixing her best you-love-me smile on her face, she stepped backwards from her girlfriend.
"As great as that sounds… And believe me, that sounds perfect… I'm actually here for a different reason." Emily cleared her throat uncomfortably as Paige's look changed rapidly to one of concern.
"What is it, Em? Are you okay? Are your parents okay? Are your friends okay? Are you hungry- I have some pizza left over from dinner if you're-" Paige rambled nervously before Emily cut her off, unable to resist from doing it with a kiss.
"I'm fine, Paige, really. It's just… a little awkward." Emily smiled apologetically as she pulled away. Paige looked completely puzzled.
"Awkward how?"
"I'll take that pizza, thanks Paige. And those sweatpants look fine, don't worry about it. Grunge can totally be sexy. Trust me, my boyfriend was once the most beautiful of all hobos, I would know." Hanna said as she came up the walkway all at once, patting Paige on the soldier consolingly. Paige's jaw dropped as a deep blush came across her cheeks.
"Hanna! What are you doing?! I told you to wait in the car!" Emily admonished her friend, who nonchalantly walked past Paige into the girl's house.
"What? When a girl has to pee, she has to pee. Plus your girlfriend has pizza and we didn't get around to ordering any. Where's your bathroom?" Hanna called out over her shoulder as she stood in the McCullers' foyer.
"S-second door on the left." Paige answered, spluttering a little from the shock of embarrassment. She leveled her gaze on her girlfriend, dropping her voice a little. "What is Hanna doing here, Em?"
Before Emily could answer, Spencer and Aria came up the walk together, Aria smiling at Paige while Spencer managed a gruff nod of the head.
"Hey, Paige. Sorry about this. I hope we're not interrupting anything." Aria said apologetically.
"We just came up because Hanna went inside." Spencer added, crossing her arms. Paige's head swiveled from her girlfriend to the two new girls on her front porch and back to her girlfriend again, who was now massaging her forehead in exasperation.
"Okay, what are you doing here? For real. Did your power go out and you needed a different place to watch movies? Or, did you want to go, like, late night swimming? Because either is okay I guess. Or…?" Paige's voice petered out, looking questioningly at her girlfriend and her friends, more than a little out of sorts.
"Look, we're here because we need to learn how to line dance before Saturday or else Hanna's mom might go to jail for a crime she didn't commit. Emily said you could teach us, so here we are. Simple as that. Can you help us, or not?" Spencer cut to the chase, staring down Paige with a challenge in her eye.
"Spencer, you're bulldozing. Paige, I'm so sorry, but she's telling the truth. We really, really need your help." Emily pleaded, feeling even worse as Paige became even more flustered, obviously embarrassed, but unwilling to back down from Spencer's challenge. Finally, her girlfriend took in a deep breath and returned Spencer's glare with a cocky one of her own.
"Of course I'll help you. But it's not my fault if you trip on your spurs, Hastings. I'm a good teacher, but only so much can be done, you know?"
"Wait, we get to wear spurs? This instantly became the coolest A-challenge ever." Aria said excitedly, clapping her hands together.
"A? This has to do with A?" Paige's tone immediately became serious, brow furrowing. Emily threw her arms around Paige's neck and kissed her quickly to reassure her.
"Don't worry, it's less of a threat and more of what Aria said, a challenge. Let's go inside and I'll explain everything, okay, babe?" At Paige's apprehensive nod, Aria and Spencer entered the house, followed by Paige and Emily, who was placing an extra kiss on Paige's cheek and whispering her gratitude.
-x-
"I can't believe you told your friends about my stupid line dancing thing!" Paige fretted as she rummaged around her fridge for a slice of pizza for Hanna. "I don't think I could have a more embarrassing hobby and your friends barely like me as it is."
"My friends love you, Paige, and not just because I love you." Emily tried to reassure her girlfriend as she handed her a plate for the pizza. The other girls had been directed to sit in the living room while Emily attempted to do some damage-control.
"Not after this they won't. Does Hanna want this hot or cold?" Paige asked, closing the fridge.
"Of course they will. And, cold."
"Oh God, another one? It comes in the box hot, it's meant to be served hot!" Paige argued, reaching for a napkin.
"It is so much better cold, you would know if you stopped to try it." Emily insisted, reaching out to place her hand on the small of Paige's back, trying even further to relax her.
"Yeah, well, it's not like you'll be sticking around to convince me. I mean, you've never seen me in chaps. It could be the most unattractive thing ever, I have no idea. It could be the last straw." Emily was about to chide Paige for saying something so far from the truth (truth being the idea of Paige in chaps being rather (read: very) exciting) but Hanna burst into the room, obviously not content to wait in the living room for her pizza with the other girls.
"What's this about Paige in chaps? Seems hot. You'd rock it, totally. Is that my pizza?" Hanna asked, grabbing it from Paige, who had nodded, blushing.
"That's the second time you've interrupted us to say something about my girlfriend's attractiveness. Should I be worried?" Emily asked, half annoyed, half amused.
"The only thing you should be worried about is if your girlfriend can't deliver on her line dancing promises." Spencer challenged yet again, coming into the kitchen with Aria in tow.
"Seriously, you guys, what's the point of me telling you to wait somewhere if you never actually wait there for the whole time?" Emily groaned, exasperated.
"Time is money, Em. Except maybe more appropriately for this occasion, time is fringe-lined cowgirl boots and Western-striped ponchos. And cigarillos. And offensive stereotypical portrayals of Native Americans." Aria chimed in, leaning against Paige's kitchen counter.
"Alright, alright. I said I'll help, I'm going to help." Paige looked around at her unexpected company and sighed. "But first of all, please, will someone tell me what the hell is going on?"
-x-x-
I'm sure it's showing that I haven't written a fanfic since I was a mere tween, but that spoiler picture called to me and I couldn't resist. Also, writing A texts is far more fun than I ever thought it would be. More to come.