A/N: Another one-shot! I just love writing them. Even though this one isn't really the most original, but whatever. :P It was inspired by a conversation with my friends, where we started ruling out guys because they were lacking a certain something. This is not intended to go along with Falling for the Falls, even though I used a line from it. Enjoy!
Checklist
Every girl has a certain checklist for guys. To be fair, guys have them for girls too, but their lists are much shorter, much less specific, and very rarely remembered or consciously created.
Girls, on the other hand, know precisely what they want in their significant other. And if a possible candidate is found lacking in one of the numerous requirements, well, he is no longer a candidate.
It's as simple as that.
So it's interesting how many girls end up with guys who somehow don't fulfill every one of the supposedly necessary qualifications.
Those whom they eventually choose often fall short in the looks area. After all, how many guys are there with movie star looks?
Failing to receive a check for this category is entirely acceptable. A pass is, after all, perfectly average. And if he is not hideous, then he is average. Which constitutes as a pass.
Those whom they eventually choose also often fall short in the money area. After all, how many guys are there with piles of cash to burn? Far less than the number of girls who would want such guys.
Failing to receive a check for this category is entirely acceptable. A pass is, after all, perfectly average. And if he can buy her flowers and little trinkets, then he is average. Which constitutes as a pass.
Having established these two requirements as being flexible enough to accommodate a wide variety of those of the male gender, a girl can generally find the one who satisfies all other conditions.
Unless, of course, that girl is Sonny Munroe, Wisconsin native, Random, and a teenager in search of her perfect guy (as all girls of her age are, however aware they are of the fact).
Sonny is aware of it, though she does not regard her pursuit of a significant other as one of her most important endeavors. She has a checklist, of course, one that she had tentatively started when she was a five-year-old obsessed with Disney movies and has added to throughout the years.
But no one has ever fulfilled every prerequisite.
Sonny Munroe's Checklist
1. Brave hero who fights dragons and other beasts
2. Perfect kisses that can wake me up
3. Rich, preferably a prince
4. Really nice
5. Steady guy; doesn't change girlfriends too often
6. Handsome
7. Intelligent
8. Loves animals
9. Same taste in books, movies, music, etc.
10. Caring towards others; understanding
11. Great sense of humor
12. Romantic
13. Always positive; looks on the bright side of things.
14. Unafraid to show public affection
15. Never fights with me
16. Laughs at all my jokes
17. Always cheers me up when I'm down
18. Foreign, attractive accent
19. Always knows exactly what to say
20. And, most importantly - he loves me
It was a fairly logical checklist. There wasn't anything too outrageous on there that would be impossible for any guy. In fact, it was a typical list, one that you might expect any girl to have. But any girl could find someone who managed to at least scrape a passing grade on the list.
Sonny Munroe, on the other hand, is in Hollywood. And most of the guys in Hollywood (at least, those that she's come across) fail quite epically when it comes to the list.
Take James Conroy, for example. He had initially appeared to fulfill about half of the requirements, considered tolerable, especially since she knew him so little and further knowledge of his character might result in a higher score. As it was, however, further knowledge resulted in a much lower score - zero.
Take Hayden. She'd never really been interested in him, but after their small kiss, Sonny had at least had the curiosity to see how he fared on the list. He was handsome. Seemingly nice, if a bit ignorant and confused. And he was apparently unafraid to show public affection. But his kiss, even though it was only a moment, failed to be perfect and lacked sparks of any kind. Hayden would certainly not do.
Take Trey Brothers. That was a nightmare, both in person and on the list. He had an accent, of course. But he failed pretty much everywhere else. This was somewhat a relief, considering his penchant for stealing - well, everything. It never would have worked out between them. But it was a comfort to Sonny that the list confirmed this fact.
In short, Sonny has yet to find her perfect man, the one who scores a 20 out of 20 on her list, the one whom she would spend the rest of her life with. And she has begun to worry that she will never find him, at least not in Hollywood.
Until she hears his fateful words.
"Sonny, will you go out with me?"
Now, Chad Dylan Cooper is many things. He is a heartthrob. He is a jerk. He is (when the two are combined) a jerkthrob. He is a Hollywood star. He is the leading actor of the rival show. He is, in short, Chad Dylan Cooper.
But Chad Dylan Cooper is not considered a potential boyfriend, at least not by Sonny Munroe. The idea has crossed her mind once or twice, but other considerations always made her think better of it, keeping her from even determining his score on the list.
But when a guy asks you out - any guy, even if it's Chad Dylan Cooper, whom you're technically not supposed to date anyways - you have to figure out his score, point by point. So Sonny scrolls through the list in her head, mentally checking (or not checking) each one off.
1. Brave hero who fights dragons and other beasts.
"You're scared," Sonny accuses, pleased that Trey Brothers has made such an impact on Chad.
"Chad Dylan Cooper fears nothing," Chad declares proudly.
"Spiders?" she asks, because everyone's scared of spiders.
"Not little ones," Chad retorts immediately.
"Heights?" Sonny fires again.
"Not low ones," he grins cockily.
Sonny closes her eyes and thinks back to a time when Chad had been brave. No such recollection comes to mind. Instead, memories of screaming at the sight of a (fake) Bigfoot and a rat in a photo booth flood her.
Bravery? More like cowardice. No check. 0/1.
2. Perfect kisses that can wake me up.
Janine, Sonny is sure, could answer this question. Or Tisdale. Or Hudgens. Or Gomez. Or even Tawni. Any of Chad's leading ladies could. But Sonny can't.
Sonny has never had the opportunity to discover if Chad fulfilled this requirement or not, and nor does she wish to. Or at least, that is what she tells herself.
No check. 0/2.
3. Rich, preferably a prince.
Though this is an item on the checklist that was rarely considered completed on most girls' lists, it is the only item thus far that Chad is, without a doubt, in possession of. He owns multiple phones, multiple cars, and most likely multiple everything else he desires.
(Surprisingly) Check. 1/3.
4. Really nice.
Upon remembering this requirement, Sonny has only three words. Chad. Dylan. Cooper.
Nice isn't even in Chad Dylan Cooper's vocabulary, much less part of his personality. No check. 1/4.
5. Steady guy; doesn't change girlfriends too often.
Sonny immediately remembers watching Chad pull out his cell phone and break up with a girl at the next table, predicting his every move. This happens about - oh, every week or so.
Chad is steady, alright. Steadily breaking hearts with wild abandon. No check. 1/5.
6. Handsome.
As much as Sonny wishes to deny it and withhold her check, she knows that Chad is, at the very least, good-looking. After all, you can't be the star of a tween drama unless you are scraping a pass in the looks area. And Sonny herself has gotten lost in those blue eyes of his too many times to declare them unattractive.
(Unfortunately) Check. 2/6.
7. Intelligent.
"What are you doing here?" Sonny asks furiously. Chad clears his throat before answering, knowing that she isn't exactly pleased to see him.
"I'm here to promote my book," he says with a smirk.
"You wrote a book?" Sonny replies, confused. Chad laughs at the absurdity of the thought.
"No," he snorts. "No, I read a book."
"Okay, fine, I didn't read the book!" Chad confesses with an anxious look on his face. Busted. And ignorant.
Intelligence is defined differently by everyone. Sonny's definition includes having read a book without the words 'Mackenzie' or 'Falls' in the title. Chad's intelligence (if it exists) does not fall into this category. No check. 2/7.
8. Loves animals.
"Santiago, you are lucky to be getting this interview. This girl's going places. Speaking of, I got to go," Chad finishes, getting up to leave. His compliment brings a smile to Sonny's face. Maybe she had been right before…maybe he did care about her. After all, why else would he be doing all of those nice things?
"Let me guess – you've got some dogs to shove?" Santiago says wryly, leaning back in his chair. There doesn't seem to be much love lost between him and Chad.
"Ye-es…" Chad draws out a bit uncertainly. Sonny turns in her chair to look at him as he amends the statement. "Shoving…dogs towards…bowls of food that I lovingly lay out for them. You know why? I love puppies," he adds.
"Wow. Compliments, kindness...I'm really impressed, Chad," Sonny praises him with a grin.
"Well, it's not about me, Sonny. It's about the dogs." He pauses, letting the emotion behind that statement sink in.
"Well, that's a side of him I've never seen before," Sonny admits to Santiago. He smirks at her, laughing at her naivety.
"That's because it's a side that doesn't exist," he explains.
A side that doesn't exist. Chad has lied. And tricked her. And embarrassed her in front of the nation. All of which pales when Sonny considers that he had exploited an innocent puppy.
Loves animals? Only if 'loves' is equivalent to 'shoves.' And no, rhymes don't work that way. No check. 2/8.
9. Same taste in books, movies, music, etc.
Sonny reads books. Chad does not read books. Sonny likes comedy. Chad likes drama. Sonny writes music. Chad probably never wrote anything in his life, music or otherwise.
Sonny's already wavering belief that Chad is going to pass almost collapses. No check. 2/9.
10. Caring towards others; understanding.
"So you've been through this?" Sonny asks hopefully, surprised by how understanding he seems to be.
"No," he answers immediately. He chuckles, adding insult to injury. "No, no, but I made you think I had, which is why I'll never go through it."
"You are unbelievable!" Sonny explodes, hurt. "I knew it. You don't care," she says bitterly. "I thought we were having a real moment here," she adds quietly, almost to herself. Chad's eyes soften, and he almost seems apologetic. Almost.
"Now please welcome back to the stage, the cast of So Random!" Marshall announces.
"Well, that's my cue."
"So what are you gonna do?" Chad asks, a hint of concern in his tone. But that doesn't make up for his sympathetic pretense a few moments ago, at least not in Sonny's eyes.
"You don't care, remember?"
"Sounds like somebody cares," she tells him only a few moments later, feeling a strange thrill run through her as she says it.
"Somebody...wanted to try on the weird beard," Chad repeats, but his voice shakes slightly.
"Cares," Sonny taunts, hoping to get him to admit it, just so she can hear it aloud.
"Beards." He is just as determined.
"Cares."
"Beards."
"Cares."
"Beards."
"Beards," she switches, trying to catch him.
"Cares," he says automatically before realizing it.
"Gotcha!" Sonny claps her hands excitedly and grins widely in response as Chad hangs his head in defeat. He cares.
Yet even though the Chad Dylan Cooper once admitted to caring, Sonny knows it's not really possible. After all, he's the Chad Dylan Cooper. And even though he makes mistakes - even though he sometimes accidentally says he cares - everyone knows that he doesn't. Besides, even if he was caring (only once, and to only one person), he's far from understanding.
Caring towards others doesn't work for Chad. Caring for himself, however, is an entirely different matter. No check. 2/10.
11. Great sense of humor.
"Oh, so you do watch our show," Sonny grins when Chad identifies the table in the prop house as the one used in the Baby Boom Boom sketch.
"Ha," Chad chuckles at her assumption, getting up and walking around the couch. "No, I have people who watch it for me. Apparently, that sketch was - amusing," he comments skeptically, still inspecting various items from past sketches.
"Oh, well, here's the script for this week's sketch," she explains, handing him a packet. "Maybe you should have your mommy read it to you!" She laughs at her own joke, coming to an awkward halt as she realizes that no one else is joining in.
"Why would I put my mommy through that?" Chad responds with a "joke" of his own, the reply rolling off his tongue quickly. Sonny frowns, offended.
His opinion of her humor is that it makes no sense, therefore being as boring as possible. Her opinion of his humor is that it is derogatory and not funny in the least. No check. 2/11.
12. Romantic.
"Wow, Chad. Lookout Mountain is beautiful...romantic..." Sonny looks at Chad automatically as she mentions romance, and he glances at her with a smile. Encouraged by his reaction, she continues, "All the stars are so bright."
"Yes, I am," Chad smirks conceitedly, killing the mood and moment. She shoots him a look before he understands what she had meant. "Oh, you mean the ones up there." He gives them an appraising glance. "Yeah, they're a'ight. I mean, they don't have their own show," he comments condescendingly. How did they get from romance to his show?
A perfectly romantic moment spoiled by arrogance, as per usual. No check. 2/12.
13. Always positive; looks on the bright side of things.
"We were shooting a scene. I know, it's hard to believe I can look this good when I look this bad, huh?" Sonny would normally fire back a biting retort, but the thought of looking good reminds her of the prom back home that she had just missed. Sonny sighs forlornly, and Chad's cocky expression falls. "Normally that would've charmed you. What's up with you?"
"Nothing, I'm just a little bummed. I missed my prom back home, and I just got some pictures from my best friend," Sonny explains. Chad scoffs in response, his mind set at ease.
"You're not missing much! I've been to a bunch of proms and they have all ended in disaster." Disaster?
"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that," Sonny replies, curious against her will.
"Yeah, episode 10, my hair caught on fire. Last year's season finale, my date turned out to be my long-lost sister..."
"What? Chad, those are fake proms." No wonder they were disasters, Sonny notes to herself. Real proms could never be that bad.
"Fake proms, real proms, they all stink." Stink? No, that's impossible. Then why would girls look forward to prom their entire life?
"No, they don't! They're romantic! You know, a girl dreams her whole life about going to the prom and sharing that perfect dance with a very special guy." The cherished childhood fantasy of dancing with said special guy flashes into Sonny's head, and she smiles blissfully.
"And then he gets hit in the head by a faulty disco ball, episode 16!" Chad's voice cuts through her fantasy, clearing the clouds from her head. His pessimism and refusal to differentiate reality from his overly dramatic show frustrate Sonny beyond belief.
Chad Dylan Cooper, positive? Sonny's positive that he isn't. No check. 2/13.
14. Unafraid to show public affection.
Sonny is fairly certain that she was never the object of Chad's affections, either in private or in public. Though this would technically be considered "not applicable," Sonny decided to simply count it as another black mark. Strike 12.
Not applicable. But most likely also not true. No check. 2/14.
15. Never fights with me.
"Fine!"
"Fine!"
"Good!"
"Good!"
"Good!"
"Good."
"Fine!"
"Fine."
"Good."
"Good."
"Good."
"Good."
"So we're good?"
"Oh, we're so good."
This is possibly the easiest of them all to determine. No check. 2/15.
16. Laughs at all my jokes.
"Aah, look at me, I'm drowning in butter! Aah!" Sonny calls out in a low voice, pretending to be the lobster currently in her hands. To her left, Portlyn leans toward her with a confused expression on her face.
"I don't get it," she says, her forehead crinkling.
"Well, I'm pretending to be a lobster that's drowning in butter, you see? That's why I'm using the funny voice," Sonny explains, knowing that the hilarity of the joke disappears once an explanation is required.
"Lobsters don't talk," Portlyn informs her, still not understanding the point.
"No, but a lobster would understand this joke," Sonny mutters to herself. She looks at Chad for support, hoping he'll let out even a small chuckle.
He doesn't. Instead, he shoots her the same skeptical look that everyone else at the Falls table is giving her, and she shrinks back, chastised. Perhaps this wasn't the best idea after all.
Sonny wonders if she has ever seen Chad laugh, other than at something he himself had said or to make fun of someone else. She doesn't think so. No check. 2/16.
17. Always cheers me up when I'm down.
"Oh my gosh, are you okay?" Chad's worry is evident in his voice, and Sonny feels slightly comforted by it, even in her present state.
"Not really," she replies, shrugging her shoulders with crossed arms as she lies on the sofa, distraught. Chad doesn't respond, however; instead, he rushes to his cardboard cutout (with a new black mustache, courtesy of Nico and Grady) on the other side of the room, leaving Sonny more forlorn than ever. Yes, Chad is clearly quite worried indeed.
Oh, he cheers her up. By making her angry. No check. 2/17.
18. Foreign, attractive accent.
Definitely not. Even though this wasn't entirely necessary. It was more of a slight preference after watching Hugh Dancy and Hugh Grant (what was with English Hughs and their romantic comedies?) and countless others in far too many chick flicks. But still. It was on the list.
Too bad for Chad that he wasn't born in England. No check. 2/18.
19. Always knows exactly what to say.
"Sorry, Chad, can't talk, I'm in a hurry," Sonny explains tersely as she strides past him, disco ball in hand.
"Oh, right, right, that whole secret prom." Sonny whirls around at the mention of the prom, evidently not in too much of a hurry to discuss it. "They're not that much of a secret when every kid on the lot is walking around with flyers that read 'Secret Prom!'" Chad continues, unfurling one of the flyers that Sonny had sent out, and she can't help but feel a thrill of excitement.
"Aren't you excited? I'm even excited about how excited I am!" she exclaims, retracing her steps to meet him. Even Chad Dylan Cooper can't possibly be immune to the magic of a prom, especially when added to the magic of a secret.
"Yeah, we're not really feeling that over at the Falls. Mostly we just think it's...dumb?" He lifts his eyebrows and shoulders, as if to shrug and imply that it's not his fault it's so lame. Or, in his words, dumb. And Sonny can't help but be crestfallen, disappointed in his reaction and suddenly less secure in her belief that throwing a secret prom is the right thing to do.
Increasing lack of faith in oneself, as well as happiness, is hardly considered "the right thing to say." Sonny feels justified in choosing not to check this requirement. No check. 2/19.
20. And, most importantly - he loves me.
Sonny holds out her index finger as she ticks off the last requirement. Does Chad love her?
"Looks like it's just you, me, and one more thing you're not gonna get!" Chad crows, the childish, tinkling tune of the music playing as he and Sonny circle the lone chair left.
"You know, you're acting pretty confident for someone who's gonna lose!" she fires back, caught up in the heat of the competition.
"Hahaha, at least I can act," he brags confidently.
"Can you, Chad? Can you really?" Sonny asks in a mocking voice. She can hear Nico, Grady, and Tawni laughing in the background before cheering.
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Sonny can't help but start to panic. The music is going to stop any second now. What if she doesn't win? She has to win! An idea suddenly strikes her – she can win the Mackenzie Falls way. She can trick him. That is, if he'll even care.
"Ow!" Sonny cries, tumbling to the ground and clutching my ankle. Just as she had predicted, the music ceases playing.
"NO!" her cast moans in despair.
"It's my ankle, it really hurts, I think something snapped!" Sonny winces, feigning her injury. Chad hesitates slightly before drawing nearer.
"Oh, man. That looks really serious. We'd better get you to a doctor. Just – take my hand," Chad offers sincerely. She looks up at him, surprised by his kindness. Maybe he isn't so bad after all. Maybe…
'He loves me.' Sonny puts up a second finger, the middle finger of her right hand.
"Wow. I've never met a group of losers so proud to be called losers," Chad smirks, taking in the sight of four Randoms posing in ridiculous outfits before him.
"Well, I'm proud to call myself a loser too," Sonny defends them, walking over to join her cast. "So I guess that makes us Loser Force Five!"
"Wait, you guys are making up?" asks Chad with a hint of worry, almost as if he (gasp!) cares.
"Yes, we are," Sonny replies, looking at her cast with a smile.
"But that ruins Chad's plan," Portlyn spills.
"What plan?" comes out of Sonny's mouth immediately.
"I don't have a plan," Chad denies almost as quickly, a clear sign that he has one.
"Sure you do! Keep you fighting with each other so Mackenzie Falls can stay number one!" Portlyn sticks out her tongue at the Randoms, who glare back in contempt.
"Please, don't talk without a script!" Chad scolds her. And that can only mean that what she said was true.
"So you were just pretending to be my friend," Sonny states for clarification, hoping somewhat that he will deny it.
"Well, yeah!" He doesn't, of course, because he's Chad Dylan Cooper, and because it's true. "I saw an opportunity and I knocked." And that's all there is to it. Her sadness was just "an opportunity" to him. He never cared. Because Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't care.
'He loves me not.' Ring finger.
"You're on camera! Smile into my hat," Sonny beams, proud that she has bested him.
"You didn't." Chad's shocked expression is worth all the trouble of the past few days. All of it.
"But I did," Sonny shrugs, taking off her hat and pulling out the hidden camera. "Bad girl revealed to be good; heartthrob revealed to be jerkthrob. On her way to Santiago Geraldo, I'm Sonny Munroe," she declares to the camera, sneaking a triumphant glance at Chad as she does so.
"Well played, Munroe," Chad compliments with grudging admiration. Wait, what? Compliments? Admiration?
"Props accepted," she gloats with a smile.
"We should hang out sometime." Chad looks straight into her eyes, and for a moment, she feels a bit unsteady.
"The camera's off, Chad," Sonny reminds him. He might as well stop pretending.
"I know." He gives her a certain look, and she's certain that her knees quiver just the slightest bit. Sonny ducks her head in embarrassment before offering a shy smile and walking away. He follows her with a grin of his own on his face.
'He loves me.' Pinky.
"I'll get you into the Basement," Sonny promises, pausing for dramatic effect.
"Awesome," Chad interjects, nodding in agreement.
"If," she adds with a grin, knowing that he isn't going to like her one condition once he meets the little demon of a fangirl.
"This is why I have two phones," he explains, interrupting once more. Sonny ignores the sudden pang that his statement gives her and continues.
"You take that little girl from the charity with you. Actually, funny little story, she's not actually from a charity. She's – " Chad cuts in again.
"Sonny, I don't care about the girl, or the charity, or your funny little stories that seem to never be funny or little. Okay? I'll do whatever, I just need to get into The Basement." Ouch. Well, in that case, fine. No potentially valuable information for him. After all, Sonny wouldn't want to bore him with any more funny little stories, now would she?
'He loves me not.' Thumb.
"Well, Chad, you were right. All proms end in disaster." As much as Sonny hates to admit it, her prom pretty much followed the pattern that Chad had told her about. Disaster. Strangely enough, though, now he chooses to contradict her.
"Do they, Sonny? Do they really?" Chad grins at her as he moves closer and delivers his signature line. "Because sometimes, I heard, you get to have that perfect dance, with that one special person." Sonny's breath catches in her throat as Chad pulls out a pair of headphones. "You're just going to have to settle for me," he concludes. Sonny grins in response and accepts the headphone that he holds out to her. Chad places one of his hands on her waist, and the other takes her hand.
"This is sweet," Sonny admits as they slow dance, appreciating his thoughtfulness. He shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly as he smiles again.
"I have my moments." And so he does. Sonny only wishes that he had more of them. Or does she?
'He loves me.' Index finger of the left hand.
"Okay, state your name and the part you're here to read for," Chad orders into his megaphone.
"Sonny Munroe reading for the part of Sonny Munroe," Sonny answers dully, already annoyed.
"There's that attitude again!" Chad notes "quietly" to the guy holding up the camera, loud enough that Sonny can hear it.
"What?!" she objects indignantly, only to be cut off.
"And action!" He leans forward in his seat to deliver his line. "Hi, you must be Sonny. I'm Chad."
"Oh my gosh! You're Chad Dylan Cooper! Possibly the greatest actor of our generation - " It suddenly hits Sonny what she's saying. " – are you kidding me with this?!"
"Sonny, I am giving you a chance here, okay? Just read the lines. Let's, uh…let's jump ahead to where Sonny enters and punches my costar…and action!"
"I never punched your costar!" Sonny exclaims rather than doing what he says. After all, she doesn't want the whole world thinking that she is mean and goes around punching people.
"Diva!" is Chad's response. Which irritates Sonny even further. If anyone in the room is a diva, it's Chad.
"Are you kidding me? I'm so not a diva!" Chad gets out of his chair as Sonny moves forward, both of them launching into fight mode.
"Really, Sonny? Really?" That is the last straw. Sonny doesn't care about the part anymore. If she has to go on set everyday and experience this kind of treatment from Chad, it isn't worth it.
'He loves me not.' Middle finger.
"So...you really think I have pretty hair?" Sonny asks bashfully, somewhat embarrassed by the question.
"I don't know…" Chad mumbles, looking at the ground. Sonny wonders if this means he is as uncomfortable as she is. "You really think I have sparkly eyes?"
"I don't know…" she replies in the same way that he had. "Well, one of them is," she admits truthfully.
"So...you want to be in my movie? I kind of need a Sonny." Chad changes the subject, and Sonny accepts gratefully, trying not to show too much enthusiasm. She doesn't notice the ways that "I need a Sonny" could be construed differently.
"Fine," she agrees, grinning.
"Fine." He smiles at her, a real smile, and she grins even wider.
"Good."
"Good." Chad chuckles a little., still somewhat anxious.
"Fine," Sonny repeats, still grinning and feeling a bit like an idiot, but she can't stop for some reason.
"Fine." He begins to walk away. "I'll set you up an audition. Nine o'clock?" Sonny gives him that look, the one that says -
"Really, Chad? Really?" And it works.
"Fine," he mutters into his megaphone, with a small smile that shows he was kidding. "You got the part." Sonny grins again as he walks away, content. She's finally in Chad's movie. And he thought she had pretty hair. Sonny never believed herself to be vain, but she must be, because the thought of Chad saying she has pretty hair gives her shivers of delight.
'He loves me.' Ring finger.
"Hey. Sonny. You okay? Looks like you could use a hug." Chad reaches out his right arm, the one in a cast, and Sonny turns to embrace him, a mournful frown on her face. "Buy a box of cookies and I'll give you one," Chad adds, pulling out a box from behind him at the last second and pouting before walking away, leaving Sonny more depressed than before.
'He loves me not.' Pinky.
"We don't have secrets," Chad says matter-of factly before a strange look comes over his face. "Do we?" he asks quickly. Sonny's eyebrows shoot up almost as high as Gilroy's, trying to cover up her slip.
"…I dunno," she answers, drawing it out. "Do we?" Her expression becomes confused again as she considers the possibility. "I mean…wait a second, like us – liking each other?" She tries to make it sound like it's a weird idea, though she's sure she's failing, and Chad laughs along uncertainly.
"Yeah, I mean, I don't really wanna talk about my feelings in front of a live studio audience."
"Yeah, yeah, right," Sonny agrees immediately. "I mean, especially feelings that we've…never talked about before." They both laugh in the same tentative manner before simultaneously processing what each other just said.
"Yeah...you have feelings?" Chad asks.
"Wait, do you have feelings?" Sonny responds with the same question.
"I mean…since you're really asking…and it's just – just the two of us…" Chad hedges his answer nervously before Sonny bursts in, all the tension putting her on edge.
"Right! And there's, like…no cameras this time or…anything…" she trails off. Chad appears to gather his courage before speaking.
"I really, it's just…"
"No, listen. It's what I'm here for," Sonny reassures him sympathetically, knowing that it's just as impossible for him as it is for her to express - whatever it is that they know they feel but simply can't put into words. And Chad smiles back, his mouth just slightly crooked to the left - wait, no, that would make it his right, since it's her left - and the look in his eyes is so endearing that it melts her, leaving her with a warm glow radiating from her core. It's a strange feeling. But not unpleasant. No. Not unpleasant at all.
'He loves me.' Her thumb goes up, and Sonny suddenly realizes that all of her fingers are gone.
And then it hits her. Perhaps he does love her. Perhaps he has a strange way of expressing it, but perhaps she does as well. Perhaps she's somehow known it all along. Perhaps she loves him too.
"Well?" He's still standing in front of her, and his solitary word jolts her back to reality.
"Chad," Sonny says slowly, after a pause in which she attempts to decide exactly what she wants to say. "You're a coward."
"…What?" Chad's eyebrows furrow, his forehead crinkling and a frown appearing on his face. The sight of it makes Sonny smile, which puzzles him even further.
"You're a coward," she repeats, grinning and holding up a finger for each sentence that she says. "You've never kissed me. You're one of the meanest people I know. You have a new girlfriend every week. You've never read a real book. You shove puppies. You hate comedy. You don't care about anyone. You laugh at people instead of with them. You don't know how to be romantic without a script. You're the most negative person I've ever met. You don't show affection in public. You fight with me everyday. You don't think my jokes are funny. You ignore it when I'm in a bad mood. You don't have an attractive accent. And you always say the wrong thing." She's had to reuse quite a few of her fingers, and Chad's expression has fallen as she continues to list the problems.
"Oh. I get it, Sonny. It's a no," he replies softly, turning away.
"No," Sonny corrects, putting a hand on his shoulder. Chad turns back around to see her still beaming. "You didn't let me finish."
"There's more?" he asks, not looking forward to hearing more of his failings being told to him by the girl who just rejected him.
"Yes, there's more," she assures him. "You're rich, which hardly anyone ever is. You're handsome, which is even less common."
"And here I thought that you weren't shallow," Chad jokes nervously, confused by her words. Sonny shakes her head ruefully.
"You really need to improve your sense of humor, Chad." He shrugs his shoulders in a manner that says he clearly doesn't agree with her, and she laughs, drawing closer to him. "But all that doesn't matter. Because you earned the most important check of all."
"And what's that?" he asks, his voice lower as her face tilts up to him, much closer than usual.
"You love me." Sonny's voice is matter-of-fact, almost cocky in its firm belief.
"Do I, Sonny? Do I really?" Chad grins, delivering his favorite line.
"Well, you better," she fires back quickly. "Because then you'll have a 'no' on your hands pretty soon."
"It seems to me that I don't have much of an answer, no or otherwise," he points out, his sparkling eyes only inches away from her laughing ones.
"Hmm, I seem to have forgotten the question," she remarks playfully, placing two hands on Chad's shoulders and forcing him to the ground, which he does with a groan.
"Really, Sonny? Really?"
"If you want a yes," Sonny flashes a triumphant smile at him, knowing that she's won.
"Sonny Munroe. Will you go out with me?" Chad holds out his arms as he asks on one knee, looking for all the world like the star in a cheesy chick flick.
"Let me think about it," she answers teasingly. "Well…okay." And he stands up and smiles, relieved. "But only because you're rich," Sonny adds, grinning.
"Right. Just like I'm only asking you because you've got great legs," Chad shoots back light-heartedly.
"Is that the only thing on guys' checklists?" his new girlfriend asks, genuinely curious (and secretly pleased that he thinks so).
"That, Sonny, is something for me to know and for you to find out." Sonny laughs, shaking her head, as he takes her hand and they walk down the hallway to the commissary, bickering as usual on the way there.
And Sonny mentally crosses out every single requirement on her checklist, because they frankly don't matter to her anymore.
But she leaves the last one. And she marks it with a red check.
A/N: So? What did you think? Let me know in a review!