Sooo this is my first Criminal Minds fanfic… yay? :)
Tons of credit to all of the authors of Criminal Minds/Higher Ground fics, because clearly I didn't think of that idea on my own. Obviously my storyline is different than others, but the whole JJ = Shelby idea isn't anything new. I am making a very conscious effort to specifically not use anything in my story that someone else has used. That is the last thing I want to do.
Special credit to lrigD, author of one of my favorite fics ever, Touch, who got me hooked on this idea in the first place! (go read it)
Disclaimer: Not mine.
By the way, as much as I would LOVE to write a JJ/Morgan fic, this is not one of them. I'm using Morgan as the confidante in this story, because they're cute even if they're not a couple. There's no pairing in this.
WARNING: okay, so this isn't that kind of warning… Basically, the beginning is going to suck. It won't be even half decent until the drama starts, so if you read it and hate it, give it a chance once it picks up?
Ps: I write really long author's notes. :p
The tray loaded with seven steaming cups of coffee nearly slipped from her grip as she juggled the tray and her case files, trying to reach the elevator button with no success.
"Woah, Jayje," a voice from behind her startled her, and she nearly lost her grip on everything once again. She spun around to see Emily walking towards her, who reached forward and pressed the button herself.
Emily smirked as she wordlessly took the case files from JJ's arms. "What'd you do, rob the file room?"
JJ smiled but offered no response as the elevator dinged, signaling that they had reached their floor. Within seconds of stepping off the elevator, she was nearly ambushed by her team members and there were only three coffees left on the tray—hers, Morgan's, and Penelope's. She smiled and greeted everyone as usual before escaping to where she knew she would find both Morgan and Penelope.
"I love you," Penelope exclaimed the second JJ appeared in the doorway, shooting out of her seat to claim the coffee that JJ was holding out to her. She greedily took a sip of the steaming liquid, barely reacting to the temperature. "You just made me one very happy tech goddess."
"Glad to be of service," JJ responded as she slipped past Garcia in order to hand Morgan his cup. He shot her his usual million-dollar smile, making her melt as usual. She and Garcia had long ago determined that anyone who wasn't floored by his smile was made of stone.
"What would we do without you, JJ?" he asked, casually resting his hand on the small of her back.
"Hold your own press conferences?" JJ offered, smirking at the thought of her teammates—namely Reid—holding a press conference. Morgan shuddered at the thought.
"Yeah, that would go really well."
JJ smiled briefly until she saw Aaron Hotchner stick his head in the doorway; she knew what he wanted.
"You got a case for us yet?" he asked her, obviously hinting that she get to work.
"That's exactly what I was just about to do." JJ waved at Morgan and Garcia, rolling her eyes as she following Hotch out of the room.
Of the four case files she had flipped through, nothing made one stand out as a higher priority than any of the others. What she hated the most was when there was no obvious answer as to which case they picked, making it nearly impossible to choose. She never understood how she could possibly choose one of the cases to be of higher priority than the others when they were all so similar.
As JJ opened the fifth case file, she quickly scanned the information, classifying it as the same importance as the other four cases. She was about to add it to the same pile as the other four until one of the victim's names caught her eye, making her heart skip a beat—Elaine Barringer.
She knew which case they were taking. It was definitely risky, but she owed it to him.
With shaking hands she closed the file, and, without so much as glancing at the other three files awaiting her attention, she made her way to the briefing room before she could change her mind.
She took a deep breath, doing her best to calm her nerves before stepping into the room, where she knew her entire team was waiting. She couldn't even remember the last time she had been nervous to brief them.
Finally she mustered up enough courage to walk in and explain the case, making a conscious effort to stay as neutral and normal as possible.
"Six women, all brunettes, brown eyes, in the forty to fifty age range. All were raped and then strangled in a small town in Florida. They have no leads and they're desperate." JJ knew her voice was shaking, especially after she read of Elaine's name, but she tried to keep it as even as possible. Obviously, working with a group of profilers, she knew that she couldn't get much past them, but she had been able to keep her secret thus far.
"And they're sure these are connected?" Morgan asked, innocently but suspiciously, interrupting JJ's thoughts.
"Yes, they're positive," JJ assured him, almost too defensively. "It's a tiny town, and the case was the same with all the victims. The MOs are the same; it's definitely a serial."
"All right, we'll take it," Hotch interrupted, squalling any further suspicion or opposition. "Wheels up in an hour."
JJ sighed and squeezed her eyes shut tighter, curling into a tighter ball in her seat as she tried to erase the images from her mind. Things were going well in her life—better than she could have ever hoped—but the images would never leave. She was scarred by them, by her past, and she knew that no amount of pretending to be someone else would ever make them disappear. Usually they haunted her primarily at night, when she didn't have to be on her game at any given second, but they were always there. And now, with the case that she was, quite stupidly she realized, getting into, they were more persistent than usual. Deep down she knew that things would most likely be revealed during this case, but she could only pray that they weren't. She was internally chastising herself for the choice that she had made, but what was done was done.
"I know you're not asleep."
JJ jumped as Morgan whispered in her ear, and she gently reached out and slapped his chest.
"You scared me," she scolded, turning around to face him. "What's up?"
"That's what I came over here to ask you."
JJ shrugged and tightened the blanket she was using around herself. "Nothing's up, I'm sleeping."
"Actually, you're not sleeping. You're talking to me."
"Shut up. I'm trying to sleep. Or I was before I was interrupted."
"You're playing with your hair," Morgan noted softly.
"I'm sorry?"
"You do that when you're nervous. You know… you play with your hair."
JJ immediately withdrew her hand from her hair; even she hadn't noticed that she was doing it. Then again, she wasn't the profiler.
Morgan rested his hand on top of the one that JJ had hastily withdrawn from her hair and placed on her knee. "You know you can talk to us, right? You can talk to me."
JJ smiled sincerely as she brought her other hand so that it was resting on top of Morgan's. "I'm cold."
Morgan laughed, but shot her another concerned look at the same time. "That's not what I meant."
She just shrugged and looked down at their hands. Morgan was like the brother that she had never had but had always wanted. Growing up, she dreamed of having an older brother—someone who would be there to protect her from her monster, someone who would be there to stop him from coming into her room at night, every night. There never was anyone; no one stopped him. Not some imaginary brother, not her mom…
"JJ!" Morgan laid his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it slightly, bringing her back, once again, from her thoughts. "What's up? You're spacing out."
"What? I'm just tired, Derek." She shrugged away from him and he took the hint, taking his hand off of her shoulder and giving her space.
"All right, but Jayje, we're all here for you. Always."
JJ smiled gratefully as she watched Morgan return to his seat, then she turned over and closed her eyes once again, the images returning as usual.
Please review! :) Constructive criticism welcome. I won't get offended.