Chapters: 1/9
Characters:
APH Iceland – Emil Bondevik
APH Estonia – Eduard von Bock
APH Norway – Lukas Bondevik
APH Denmark – Mathias Køhler
A/N: The story background is set in half real and half imaginary.
This section is mainly written in Emil's POV.
I'm not a native English speaker, if there are any mistakes please correct me in respectful, thanks!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything mentioned in the story but the story itself!
"Emil, if you have any question about the minutes, leave it blank. I'll deal with it."
"Ok, I'll finish it before dinner."
The meeting room is dim and empty. Everyone once here has gone home, leaving a young man curling up on his office chair. He just buries his face into his laptop, answering another man with a flat tone. He looks like a lonely and stubborn field animal, refusing any kindness or help. He doesn't even give a sight to the man beside the door.
Lukas, the one who is leaning on the doorframe, staring at the one sitting back on to him, heaves a sigh but still softening his voice, "You could slow down, Emil. You know what I mean."
Emil pauses for a second, turning to look at his elder brother, "…yeah, I know." After a while he finally mumbles as a reply.
Lukas is about to walk to Emil and cheer him up, like squeezing his shoulders or caress his hair. However, a light piano melody flowing from his pocket interrupts the worry about his sibling. Lukas has no choice but to ask Emil to take care of himself before answering the call, soon he also leaves the room, as those ones leaving earlier, leaving Emil in the silent and wide space again.
Emil turns back to his screen. Those papers and notes cover up his keyboard. He suddenly feels so tired to sort the stuff he's typing in.
The frustration out of nowhere always makes him struggle to speed up and get rid of it. Although he knows what his brother hopes him to slow down for, he always knows Lukas is only hoping him to be kind to himself, he just can't stop thinking about it.
Emil finishes the meeting record as he wishes, thanks for his perfectionism. He takes a glance at the clock, wondering that it's time for daily work… where will the little guy hang out today?
The meeting Lukas and Emil take part in is held by an astronomical society in Northern Europe. The institute hosts a new project this year, inviting its academic partners international to participate in, including the research group Lukas joining. Lukas has been chosen to represent his lab with colleagues, so he tried to persuade Emil to live in Copenhagen with him for a few whiles. Although being never major in astronomy, Emil agreed with the trip which looked like no time limited.
.
"Give yourself more space and time. It doesn't matter you are still hesitating, see?" It was Lukas said one night last year. He pushed an internship application under Emil's nose, smiled but accepted no denying from his little brother, "Besides, I'm not used to living without someone who loves me so much."
"You've already had a Mathias."
Emil answered, but he soon kept his mouth shut because he found the concern hidden in Lukas' warm gaze. He stopped rejecting anymore, just pulled the blank form and fulfilled it.
After the night he wrote a suspension letter to school, once he was given the approval, he quickly packaged, took a cross-country flight the following week and landed on a port city which was totally different from his hometown. Time passed all too soon, he has lived here for several months.
Why do you jerk always regret and run away from your former decision? Since the day he left home and studied in university, Emil often questioned himself like that. He was never a talkative or outgoing person, with staying in a whole new environment, his pessimistic thought even worsened, feeling afraid of being a failure, being looked down, and being laughed at only because of the so-called "daydream." Emil didn't dare to make sure that there was anyone hostile to him. He couldn't just endure the fear hidden in his fake smile towards strangers anymore.
It was a vicious circle. The more he felt the inferiority sticking onto his back, the more he desired to tear it off, but the stress nevertheless weighted again and again until all of his efforts became useless. Emil had considered telling Lukas that he wanted to take a break several times. He believed in his brother that he would be more than willing to support him, also did the Dane who usually popped up in their apartment. Emil had two reliable seniors and best friends, however, he still had difficulty in telling the truth. The eagerness Lukas and Mathias held to reach their destination was too shining and impressive. It might be their sense of sympathy that waiting for Emil and listen to him to say something childish like "I am tired." Emil hated the mean way himself suspected them at all. He shouldn't do that. He shouldn't doubt his family's love for him though, he couldn't help but blame all problems on his surroundings and himself, and then being dragged into another spiral of self-loathing.
It might be notable enough for him to come through the first year.
.
"No one will blame you for your decision."
It was the first time Emil celebrated his birthday without all family members. After doing the dishes, Lukas asked his boyfriend hold on for a few minutes (though he worried about Emil as much as Lukas did). He walked back to the living room with only a warm white bulb lightened, slowly sat into couch, one of his shoulders touched Emil's, "you don't feel well about your freshman year in college, is it?" He patted his brother's back, whispering softly.
They never talked about it face to face, still Lukas did notice something was wrong.
Emil nearly admitted his bad status, nearly stormed into bedroom and held his blanket tightly in tears like when his childhood. His rationality eventually pulled him back. He recalled his immaturity also his persistence of staying calm.
"…Could I give it another try?" Emil replied that night, but he still handed in his application form for suspension at the end of the year.
Emil wasn't certain that it was sufficient sunshine from the south comforted him. During the days in Copenhagen, he seldom felt depressed, in contrast, he felt actually a bit of release. He just ended a "normal" college life and started an assistant part-time without more other things on to-do list. He was allowed to audit some courses and he secretly felt so lucky to get them. He usually rode a bike to school in afternoon, sometimes even in early morning, and stayed at school until Lukas called him to have dinner. He knew he didn't want to give up his studies at all, but he couldn't even believe in that, that he could have a chance to throw himself into his beloved academic field again, after being just freed from the world once wove him dreams and regrets, the world fantastic but also difficult like living in a decorated capped jar. He was still trying to find his feet, but he felt this time he had done well enough.
He even thought he could finally back and face the past.
.
…Well, just forget it. Now what he has to concentrate on is his work. Emil blows a sigh, catches the pet food bag more tightly and keeps walking on the sidewalk. The meeting today is not held on campus, but the duties Emil has to carry out are the same. He has sat in a conference hall and taken meeting minutes all day long and finally he has time to go outside and take a breath. Though the sun hangs high in the sky, it's already the museum's closing time. He wants to get off work as early as possible. He misses his lovely bed sheets so bad.
Where on earth does the little rascal hide away? He remembers what the museum staff told him, the little boy would be nearby with the timing….
"Meow—!"
"Oh gosh," Emil stops himself, looking around carefully, after a few minutes he grabs his backpack roughly, "you little shit I finally got you…!" He rushes onto a higher grass which is set some picnic tables on it.
He doesn't expect there is someone else.
Emil slows down his steps, but he immediately races up after he found what was the guy doing, "Hey! What do you think you're giving him?" His voice sounds too nervous and frightening, also the noise his sneakers stamping on the grass. The person who's kneeling beside a currant bush turns back to Emil, standing up and politely offering his seat. Emil says nothing but only gets close in a hurry to check if the cat eats anything.
He quickly draws out his notebook and tears one piece of it, making a paper box to fill the cat food. When the kitten's digging into dinner, Emil peeks at what food the stranger takes.
A slice of nut toast––
"I didn't feed it nuts." The guy throws up hands right away.
"I don't care," Emil blurts out, "Just let him get away from your breakfast." He tries to refocus on the cat and ruffle his head. However, the cat looks like he can feel Emil's bad mood. He raises his tail and drives Emil's wrist away.
The person kneels down again, sitting beside the rejected Emil, caressing the cat's back gently, "but he likes people, doesn't he?"
"I dunno. It's said he was born here."
"Oh, a planetarium kitten? Sounds cute."
"I guess so."
Emil buries his lower face into his arms, tilting his head and observing this stranger.
Honestly, he's good-looking, at least not bad at all, probably because of his smile when they meet each other at first sight. The person is friendly and easy-going, like the cat they are feeding together.
He looks like as same age as Emil, but Emil guesses he might be a little taller than him. His dirty blonde hair is short and neat, the tidy bangs covering his forehead, under the bangs he wears a pair of metal frame glasses. His turquoise eyes hidden behind the glasses make him look like sharp and witty, differ from the stereotype about glasses, such as quiet and reserved and boring…––Emil suddenly feels annoyed due to the descriptions coming to his mind.
He takes the box off gently after the kitten finished the dinner, standing up and throwing the wrinkled paper into a trash can. He turns to the person, "We'll be closing."
"Are you here for work?" The young man stands up, too, "No wonder you have to feed your kitty." His voice is modulated and soothing though, Emil feels it sounds like poking fun at his irritation out of the blue, he squints at the man.
"It's not your business," damn it, the guy is actually taller than him, "are you here on vacation?"
"Well, not really, I live here for months already so I think I'm not a tourist." The man shrugs, smiling at Emil, "By the way, I'll come to the planetarium more often the following weeks, if you want to know."
"No, I don't," Emil turns his back on to him, intending to leave here right now. He knows the guy will follow him up because he also has to back home. However, Emil gradually slows down his walk with hesitation, eventually stops on the sidewalk. He looks back and finds the man also stops after they caught each other's sight. The distance between them is the same as it between acquaintances and… friends.
Emil frowns at his thought, "as you mentioned it, you should know how to go home, do you?" He asks. Why the hell are the glasses such bothersome, he can't even see the guy's face clearly.
"Yeah, I do. Thanks for your concern."
The person looks like a little surprised at Emil's question, but soon he gets his smile back and waves goodbye friendly. Emil has no idea how to answer him at once. He just nods at him before leaving the planetarium.
It must be the slope that makes him can't help but speed up.
Emil walks his bike from the parking lot, then riding it back home rapidly. He doesn't find his face is getting red, just persuading himself like that along the way.
A/N2: I'm sorry that I didn't write Eduard's name directly in the section (ˊ；ω；ˋ)
Besides, I've never been in Europe but I'm sure that there is no planetarium with hills or slopes or whatever in Copenhagen. That's all because the story plot needs it so I just write it_(:3_ㄥ)_
If anyone has interest in origin Chinese version, you can find the whole chapter 1 in my FC2 (including 2 sections).
Hope y'all enjoy it and feel free to review ;)