A/N not mine, I own nothing but the plot.

Erin, here is your Tart Story, yes I have plans to expand it. Right now it will be a One shot for a bit, until I finish up with my current WIP and another one that I have in the works that is a Babe story. This is a soulmate AU story...

Bang Bang

I had just told Ranger that the stupid security system he had installed on my apartment was not going to work, but he just shook his head and said it was for his peace of mind. He had a need to protect me. He believed it was his right as my platonic soulmate. I rolled my eyes so hard that I'm pretty sure that I could see my brain.

Who am I? I am Stephanie Plum, badass bounty hunter extraordinaire. Okay, maybe not so much badass. I hated my gun, exercising, and I regularly rolled in trash. All qualities that had me in my current situation of being stalked, again.

My mother spent my entire life complaing about the number of sentences written in grey on my body. She really disliked the one in black of my romantic soulmate, but I couldn't do anything about it. If fate had put all of these people in my life, there was a good reason, but some of the phrases were slightly frightening. I actually agreed with her about something for once. Most of them were terrifying.

I had been one of the few people in this world born with more than three soulmarks. I had seven in all. My best friend Mary Lou was the first I met, from when were played together for the first time in elementary school. Her words in grey, 'I'm Lou, wanna pway jungle gym?', had set me back a little. My family had read that one to me so often that I knew it like the back of my hand. As a matter of fact, they were written in childish scrawl across the back of my hand. My 'Heck Yeah!' was thankfully scrawled on the bottom of her foot.

Ranger, his core team, and Cal were written in various other parts of my body. My romantic soulmate, was written in beautiful cursive across my left breast, right over my heart. The words themselves had my mother believing that someone would be trying to kill me, and it would be my soulmate. I couldn't help but think she could be right. Those two words had caused me to seek romance elsewhere; including a very short, very failed marriage to Dickie Orr. He met his soulmate four days after oir wedding. I caught them in the act on day six of our marriage. I still refuse to own a dinning room table.

Ranger and I were having a discussion concerning our recent bedroom olympics. I really didn't want to have it in front of one of his men. One that had obviously been in a gang in a previous life, if his tattoos were any indication.

"Babe, don't worry about Hector. He doesn't speak English and he's gay."

"He works for you, so I'm not worried about that."

"What are you worried about?" He asked.

"This," I replied as I ran my hand across the black qords across his forearm. "I know we aren't going to work. You haven't met her yet, and I know that when you do what will happen. So, what happened last night can never happen again."

"I'm not like Dic..." I stopped him and held up my hand.

"I'm not saying you are. We can't force a platonic relationship to be romantic. I won't do that to whoever is out there for you."

He nodded his understanding and kissed my forehead before leaving. His guy, Hector, gave me an odd look as I rubbed my hand over my soulmark that was covered by my shirt. He finished up and left my place. I had a few errands that needed to be done, plus I had a couple of skips that I still needed to bring in to make rent. I gathered my belongings and made my way out the door. I even remembered to set the stupid alarm.

The loss of another car, being rolled in garbage, and being shot at again already has me frustrated in ways that should have people fearing for their lives. I eyeballed the damn keypad for my home security system. I was daring it to cause me an issue. Probably I shouldn't have dared it. Probably I should have just called Ranger to walk me through it again so that I could get in my damn front door. After the second try I couldn't take anymore today and I shot the shit out of it. I shrugged my shoulders as I heard the locks on my door disengage. I knew that someone would be here soon because of this, but it didn't matter.

My cell phone began to ring as I opened my door. I didn't bother cgecking to see who it was; I already knew.

"Hello?"

"Babe, Hector will be over to replace your keypad with Lester. They will walk you through how to use it," Ranger said and hung up.

"Well fuck," I exclaimed stairing at my phone.

It wasn't surprising that he just ran over me like a bull in a china shop. I dropped my belongings on my couch after I locked the door and engaged the floor bolt. I took a quick shower and found Lester and Hector in my living room when I came out.

"Beautiful, why did you shoot your security system?" Lester asked.

"I couldn't get it to work and I'd already had a shit day."

Lester nodded and went about explaining how to work the new one they were installing. They were cleaning everything up when Hector looked at me with a small grun on his face.

He made a gun with his fingers and said, "Bang bang."

I stood there is shock and realized exactly what he had said to me. They were just heading out the door when I shook myself out of my daze and said, "but you're gay!"

Hector turned around with a deer in the headlights look on his face and Lester looked startled. Ranger came tgrough the door at that moment and barked out, "what the hell is going on here?"

"I just met my soulmate," I whispered quietly.

"Lester? You've talked to him before. He's one of your platonics."

"Hector."

Ranger's damn eyebrow went up at that. His eyes bored a hole into Hector's head. They did that silent communication shit and Ranger laughed. A full out belly laugh.

"Only the biggest danger magnet would be paired with the most dangerous man in my company."