Apparently the whole "ancient betrayal" was a tragic misunderstanding...
So, after Yami became his own person, Ishizu called him and Kaiba back to the museum to share a vision.
... she should've screened it first.
Small grammar edits.
"This ancient carving depicts the three-thousand year rivalry between the Pharaoh and his own priest - on the right is you, Yami; on the left, Kaiba. Do you still have any doubt? Look at their monsters - the Dark Magician, and the Blue-Eyes White Dragon!"
Ishizu had a flare for the dramatic that might have made her a relative of Kaiba's. She was deferential in body, but in voice she was commanding and deliberate.
It was enough to make Seto roll his eyes.
"Please. We've heard this nonsense before," he said.
"True, but you were not both present when last I spoke with the two of you. My Pharaoh, show the tablet the three Egyptian God cards!"
Yami, looking uneasy, but not for the reason Kaiba hoped (disdain for Ishizu's nonsense), held up the gods with one, well-toned arm.
The pyramid's eye at the very top of the rock lit up, blinding them with an ethereal glow. Kaiba shielded his eyes with hand. He was partially aware of a nauseating feeling in his stomach - like he was riding on a standing roller coaster without a safety bar.
His feet had left the floor. Now, he was falling. He refused to open his eyes, but waved his arms around to account for a loss of balance.
His knees came into contact with a very uncomfortable floor, and he cried out in pain. To his right, he heard Yami make a similar exclamation.
With some trepidation, Seto opened his eyes. Slowly, the environment came into focus.
And just like that they were standing in a large, golden throne room.
"You want to explain this to me, Ishizu?" he asked. When he didn't receive an answer, he turned and realized she was no longer behind him.
"She's gone!" Yami said in surprise. "But where are we?"
"Your reign of tyranny ends today, Pharaoh!"
Seto's head snapped towards an impossible voice - his voice.
It was himself on one end of the room, in a stupid blue hat, yelling at Yami, on the other end of the room, who was competing against the stupid hat with his much more ridiculous hair - and an admittedly impressive golden crown.
The golden throne lay between them.
"This must be the ancient battle Ishizu warned us about," Yami said, ducking around a servant to get a better view. They must have been invisible in this hallucination, because no one paid any attention to the two men in modern clothing who bore strange resemblances to the fighting priest and Pharaoh.
Seto followed.
The underlings had formed a ring around the two, sticking close to the walls. It wasn't hard to see why.
"Dark Magician!" shouted the Pharaoh, with a wave of his tanned arm. "Come forth and teach this ungrateful cur the meaning of respect!"
His puzzle glowed, and a giant stone tablet behind him rose, and released a familiar figure.
"My Dark Magician," Yami said in wonder, and Kaiba had to admit it was impressive, though not nearly as impressive as:
"White Dragon! Defend me against this coward!"
The priest raised his rod and brought forth the Blue-Eyes White Dragon. Seto, while still disbelieving, admired the sight. Even his Egyptian counterpart (if he really existed) was worthy of the beast.
And then he said this:
"Maybe this will teach you to ignore my advances!"
A pin dropped. Kaiba's ears went fuzzy with flowing blood. If a badass soundtrack had been playing during the movie equivalent of this scene, it would've stopped with a record scratch.
"What?" he and Yami said in unison, stone cold petrified.
"Priest Seto, you are indeed a fool if you believe I ignored them!" the Pharaoh replied, just as angrily.
For a second time, this time louder, the modern counterparts said, "What?!"
"Lies!" the priest shouted. "Not a day ago you abandoned me at the pier after promising to watch the peaceful river waves together!"
It struck Seto that he said 'peaceful' in the same tone of voice he might have used to say 'attack' or 'gym sock'.
"Be silent, Priest Seto! You have no right to judge me after you insulted my finest garments the day before!"
"I was right in doing so! They looked as though they were stitched from the stiff reeds of the Nile!"
"Do not lecture me in the school of fashion, Priest Seto!"
"Then I will lecture you in the school of economics, because after this battle you will have to buy yourself a new crown!"
"I'd rather a new crown than a resentful consort!"
The priest didn't have a comeback for that one. From Kaiba's experience looking at his own face, he guessed that the priest was actually hurt. He pointed his rod at the king.
"White Dragon! Destroy his Magician, reek vengeance upon him in the name of my broken heart!"
A large flash of bright lightning catapulted them back to the museum.
Kaiba swung around and almost threw up on the tile.
"That was unexpected," Yami said. Understatement of the century.
"Believe me, no one is more surprised at this than I," Ishizu was back - or at least, she hadn't left. She had a dumbfounded look plastered over her face that Kaiba found very gratifying.
"Well, at least now we know you're full of crap," he said after he recovered. He broke a small silence only to start a longer, more awkward one. Heat flushed into his cheeks; they were both staring at him.
"You betrayed our kingdom because I missed a date?" Yami said. He was incredulous, but strangely, not on the verge of laughter, as Seto was afraid he'd be (afraid because if Yami started laughing, Kaiba wouldn't be able to stop).
"How is this my fault?" Kaiba wondered aloud. "This was a crazy hallucination, and somehow it's my fault the thing even happened?!"
With surprising patience, Yami said, "Kaiba, for the last time: our heritage is not a hallucination."
"All this proves is that you're a dumbass no matter the century!"
"And you're a child with a grudge the size of the Sahara."
"I do not have a grudge! Well," he amended, "not about that garbage. For totally different reasons."
Yami was his rival; he didn't need this idiocy on top of everything else to justify hating him. Nevertheless, he got the distinct impression he had just dug himself into a large hole.
"This is all your fault," he pointed at Ishizu, who was still visibly confused about the vision - she was staring up at the rock like it had slapped her in face. Yami gave a snort.
"Do not blame Ishizu for showing us the truth of our past." Okay, it wasn't his imagination, Yami was definitely trying not to laugh. For a guy pretending to be a reincarnated Pharaoh, he looked surprisingly undignified, biting his lip and holding back tears.
"So, you want that crap to be true?" Kaiba drawled, lacking his usual, lively cruelty. Instead he merely sounded irritated.
"What I want is irrelevant, the past is past. However, now that you mention it," Yami said with a small smile, "I do believe I owe you a date."
"Excuse me?"
"Chivalry demands I make amends whatever way I can, even if it was a mistake made three thousand years ago," he said facetiously. But despite the fact that he was shaking with concealed laughter, Seto detected an undercurrent of seriousness to Yami's statement. "I owe you the dignity of a real date."
"You don't owe me a damn thing."
"I disagree."
Seto was suddenly stuck: refuse the date by saying he - the Priest - was equally at fault, since the guy turned traitor because he got stood up. It was a lame excuse for trying to overthrow a nation. But his pride despised admitting to it.
He could accept the date to prove that Yami was entirely to blame, and bank on Yami being more embarrassed than him in that situation. But that would risk more exposure to the idiotic Egyptian heritage speech.
Or he could be an asshole, continue to insist that none of it was at all rooted in fact, and also refuse the offer. Two birds with one stone.
As if he knew what Kaiba was thinking, Yami closed his eyes, held up a hand, and said,
"Kaiba, accept the invitation. Be civil for once."
Kaiba frowned. "Civil? How about 'sane'. I'll take 'sane' over 'civil' any day of the week."
The Pharaoh - Yami - lifted an eyebrow.
"And besides," Seto continued, sounding more rushed than he intended, "neither of us are gay."
The second it left his mouth he regarded it as what is known in the business world as "a fuck-up of massive proportions". It was absolutely the wrong thing to say. The untainted silence that followed this bold, blatantly false statement was only broken by the sound of Yami's studded boot heel clicking on tile, as he adopted what can only be described as a "sassy" posture.
Unimpressed purple eyes raked over Kaiba's form, and the proud CEO had to admit… the trenchcoat and belts did give off that kind of vibe.
"You want to take that one back?" the Pharaoh asked with a lazy blink.
Kaiba fought the warm feeling that was quickly rising up his neck. Was he really that transparent?
"Okay, fine. That was 'uncivil' of me," he muttered without looking Yami in his stupid, pretty eyes.
"Indeed; I daresay you offended us both," the Pharaoh said with a mischievous smile.
Kaiba cleared his throat and didn't dignify that with an answer.
"You're forgiven," Yami nodded. The eyes softened and became appealingly merciful.
"Would you like to go out?" he repeated. What was he expecting? Did he want Kaiba to say yes? More pithily: did he want Kaiba?
He blanched at the internal question and put a thick wall between himself and the answer he wanted.
Against his better judgment, Kaiba decided to balance his karma somewhat. And though he'd never say it out loud, and had only ever said it to himself on special occasions, Yami was slightly more bearable than his awful friends.
"I'm picking you up at seven o'clock tomorrow. Good night."
Maybe they'd find something interesting to talk about.
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