A/N: To those following A Colorful Life the next chapter is 90% complete but life happened and I haven't had a chance to complete it. I am so sorry, I really meant to have it done, hopefully tomorrow or the day after it should be done. It's a big chapter with a new character intro.
In exculpation and as a plea for mercy I have two one-shots I have been holding off uploading which I now submit for your perusal.
Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN or its characters; I make no profit from my stories.
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Ragged
Fate stared down at her red faced friend, the woman was pissed. And she honestly had every right to be but the whole thing was a misunderstanding. Had she kissed Reinforce Eins? Yes. Were they having an illicit romantic affair? No. Rein was her best friend for Pete's sake, closer to her than her own sister! It was all a stupid, stupid misunderstanding, there was no way she saw Rein that way.
As the short brunette screamed at her and called her every name in the book the silver haired, red eyed woman this whole thing hung up on cried on a sofa. She had tried to explain but Hayate wasn't listening, she was too insecure in their relationship to allow reason any head space. Finally sick of listening to the abuse Fate shot out a hand and muffled the shorter woman's mouth and decided to end this whole circular argument.
"Hayate, I'm not going to deny kissing Rein but I was doing it as a favor. She needed someone to read opposite her and the part called for a kiss. That's all there is to this!"
Angry blue eyes flared at her as the woman wrenched Fate's hand away and she sneered, "Bullshit! You don't act. You refuse to act. Why the hell can't you just tell the truth you backstabbing whore!"
Fate wasn't a violent woman by nature but right now she wanted to slap the woman before her and knock some sense into her. Spinning her around so the shorter woman looked at the crumpled form on the couch Fate tried reason once more, "Rein loves you. She would never lie to you; she's told you there's nothing going on between us, why can't you believe her. Look at her, she's crying because you!"
Shoving Fate off Hayate spoke with a voice tinged with grief and malice, "I always knew there was something more to your relationship. You two hang all over each, spend every spare minute together. It was just a matter of time she got tired of playing around with me. Well did you two have fun laughing at me behind my back?!"
Closing her eyes and counting to ten was all that saved the little idiot before her from a fat lip. Fate took a shuddering breath stomped over to the couch and said, "I'm done. I'm sorry Rein but I won't listen to this anymore. I am out of here."
Looking up with bloodshot eyes the woman asked, "Where are you going?"
Trembling with emotion Fate admitted, "To deal with the rest of the fallout from this stupidity. I am going home, that is if they'll even let me inside the door."
Grabbing her jacket Fate left and felt like a fucking coward, but there was nothing else she could do and sticking around just seemed to be making matters worse. She got home and packed her bag haphazardly then called a cab to take her to the airport. She looked at herself in the mirror before leaving the lonely apartment, her natural blonde hair was dyed dark brown, her contacts laid at the bottom of the bag leaving her to wear her thick framed eyeglasses, her normally fitted and stylish clothes hung unwanted in her closet while she wore an oversized sweatshirt and loose blue jeans and scuffed up sneakers. How much farther could she get to the award winning punk-rock star than she currently was up for debate, but she felt exactly like she looked, hopeless.
The plane ride was spent listening to her iPod and reading a popular novel she picked up in the airport gift shop. The man who sat next to her frowned a lot, his sensitive business class sensibilities offended by her attire and attitude. She would have laughed at the way he protected his things from her, she could buy and sell the man ten times over, but her personal life was in ruins. Her career would survive the scandal, hell she might even gain a larger following from this but she was now very likely to be even lonelier than before.
~"~"~"~
She was right, her mother had only let her in the house long enough to berate her for her unnaturalness and curse the day she was born. Her sister sat there with a disappointed look on her face, not once defending her right to live, let alone choose who to love. This was all expected, but in a perfect world she would have had a girlfriend to support her through the trauma. But this was just her luck, come out of the closet only to have everyone in her life dump on her. She left the high end neighborhood by taxi and came back to the city center not knowing where she was going.
She walked the streets, passing hotels and shops not really seeing anything but taking comfort in being part of the massive crowds. She may be an outcast but she wasn't the last person on earth, eventually things would get better. After an hour of lugging her duffle and guitar case down random streets she sat down at a bus stop. She didn't want to go inside one of the shops or restaurants alone; the cold busy street was better company than her dark thoughts. She had been sitting for about ten minutes mind wandering and being slightly lulled by the music from her iPod when a bus came to halt she waved off but shortly regretted that when it began to sleet a few minutes later. Shivering a bit she tightened her outer jacket and pulled her knitted beanie lower over her ears. Thinking to herself she thought, 'Next bus I get on until the end of the line, it'll be better than sitting here alone in the cold.'
Not ten seconds later a figure ran into the covered awning of the bus stop shivering and wet. Fate took in her new companion and felt a rush of concern flood her. The woman wasn't dressed for the weather, no coat, hat or gloves. Her sweater was more fashion than protective and the skirt she wore wouldn't have provided enough warmth for a flea. Getting up without thinking Fate took off her jacket and immediately wrapped it around the woman. Startled she looked up and Fate felt like she had just been kicked in the stomach when she took in the most beautiful pair of sapphire eyes she'd ever seen. That they were filled with as much despair and hopelessness as her own made her heartache.
The woman took in the stranger who had just wrapped her in a warm jacket and was at first confused, her savior had the sculpted features of a Grecian demigod and the fashion sense of a first year college student. It was only the faint sweet scent of the stranger and the bare outline of breasts hidden under an oversized sweatshirt that gave her the clue her savior was a woman and not some androgynous deity in disguise.
Huddling into the offered jacket she smiled and said, "Thanks."
Fate felt her heart flip flop at the smile and the soft sweet voice. Never had she been so affected by a woman in her life. Swallowing the lump in her throat and looking away from the sad beauty she murmured, "No problem."
Sitting back down Fate tried not to stare at the woman but found her eyes darting back to her as she sat down next to her. She seemed to be searching for something at her side and then a small groan sounded. Worried Fate turned to her and asked, "You okay?"
Blushing and ashamed of her idiocy the auburn haired woman admitted, "No, I left my purse. I left everything when I ran away. I am so stupid. My wallet, my keys, my phone, not to mention my coat and gloves, god I am so stupid!"
Reaching out a hand to calm her Fate said, "Hey, it'll be alright. If you need to go back to get your stuff I can go with you if it might not be safe? Or I can go for you, just tell me where?"
The young woman was surprised that anyone would offer to help her, "Why?"
Taking off her glasses and rubbing her face in nerves before placing them back on and answering now slightly hunched from embarrassment Fate admitted, "I've got nothing better to do. Besides you know the old saying misery loves company, you seem to be in as bad a place as I am, helping you might make me feel a bit better and if I fail then we can drown our losses in a cup of hot chocolate if you like?"
The woman couldn't help huffing a laugh, "Isn't it usually a glass a beer?"
Fate twitched a smile and felt a bit more confident, "Nah, I don't drink."
Suddenly the sapphire eyes didn't seem so sad and the woman reached out a hand, "My name is Nanoha, Nanoha Takamachi."
Taking the offered hand Fate replied, "Good to meet you, I'm Fate. Um, Fate T. Harlaown."
Once their hands broke contact Nanoha's faint surge of good humor fled and she looked down with a frown and faint blush, "I left my stuff at a hotel…a love hotel."
Fate blushed also, never having gotten past the kissing stage with anyone despite what rumors in the press might say otherwise. She was too dedicated to her work to do much more than casually flirt with another woman; she hadn't been on a date in over a year. A love hotel was way out of her league of experience. So much for being a worldly and jaded punk-rock star, she was just a kid playing dress up most days. What would her fans say if they ever discovered the punk princess was a complete loser at love?
Taking a fortifying breath Fate said, "Okay," it came out a bit squeaky.
For some reason Nanoha found this vastly amusing and started to laugh but eventually it devolved into tears which freaked Fate out. The disguised diva wrapped an arm around the sobbing woman and tried her best to comfort her. When she turned into her to bury her face in her chest and cry Fate just held her tighter and rubbed soothing circles on her back as she hummed an equally soothing tune.
Soon Nanoha had calmed down and said muffled into her now wet sweatshirt, "I left my boyfriend there. I thought I could go through with it but the more I thought about it the more I realized I don't love him. We've been dating for years and the longer we go out the more I find we have nothing in common and that I am unhappy in the relationship."
Sighing Fate replied, "Then you did the right thing. Your body is something precious that should only be shared with someone you love. You should never let anyone pressure you into doing something you aren't comfortable with."
Looking up at the stranger Nanoha tried to see her eyes and all she could see was two dark orbs behind the thick lens. Despite this Nanoha could tell here was a very good person, a person she could trust, Fate radiated an aura of calm and reassurance. Giving her new friend? a weak smile she said, "Thank you for saying that but my situation is a bit more complicated. I work for my…I guess my now ex-boyfriend's family. I have one more semester of college to pay for and now I am pretty sure I've lost my job. I don't know how I am going to pay my rent now let alone school."
Fate chewed her lip a moment and then said, "One problem at a time, let's get your stuff then deal with the job thing. I know a few people in Midchilda who might hire you depending on what skills you have."
Nanoha looked at the woman blankly then blinked, "You could find me a job?"
Shrugging, "I'm not a hundred percent sure but you seem like a well-spoken and polite person, depending on what experience you have there are a couple of places I know of that are always looking for good workers."
Nanoha flung herself at her mysterious benefactor and hugged her feeling a million times lighter. Fate's heart was doing cartwheels and she was desperately trying not to sniff the girl's hair, she smelled so good not to mention felt good to hold. She almost felt bad for the girl's ex; to lose this young woman had to be the height of misfortune.
The pair finally broke apart after a few seconds and a blushing Nanoha led Fate towards the hotel she had previously been contemplating the worst idea of her life. Entering the receptionist frowned at her and sniffed, "I believe you left something behind."
Then she picked up a bundle and placed it on the counter like a heap of dirty laundry then pushed it through the turnstyle partition making Fate frown. Nanoha came over to the bundle and was glad to find all of her things, coat, gloves, and purse. Then she opened the purse and saw to her relief her cell and keys but not her wallet. Looking up she asked the receptionist, "Did you receive a wallet with this also?"
The woman sneered at her from behind her partition, "That's all that was turned in. Be thankful the poor guy didn't dump all your shit in the garbage."
Fate was suddenly leaning into the partition growling, "Every woman has the right to say no and to change her mind. If I discover you had anything to do with my friend's wallet going missing I'll make sure you face the full charges for theft."
The woman didn't seem to know how to respond, the ragamuffin figure was displaying an aura of menace that made her more grateful for the partition than a full grown man. Looking away she said hesitantly, "What color was it?"
Nanoha replied, "Baby blue with gold fastenings."
The woman opened a drawer and seemed to be stirring it around at random then came up with a wallet and placed it in the turnstyle saying, "It's just as I received it, if anything is missing it's not my fault."
Opening the wallet Nanoha was relieved to see all her ids and bank cards but then groaned when she saw all her cash was missing. She had taken out cash earlier that day to do grocery shopping the next day, she was so screwed.
Fate seeing her distraught face asked, "Is something missing?"
Nanoha no longer wanting to be in the offensive woman's presence, especially if she was going to break down, just waved her hand noncommittally and walked out of the hotel. Once out in the chilly wet she slid on her coat and gloves and seeing her companion come out held out her jacket. She immediately put it back on which seemed to prove Nanoha's original assumptions of Fate not being as fine as she claimed to be.
Once snuggle in her jacket once more Fate asked, "So what's missing?"
Not really wanting to bother the kind stranger more she tried, "Not much, just some cash."
Fate recognized prevarication when she heard it so asked, "How much cash?"
Nanoha shrugged which made Fate take her arm and turn her to look at her and asked again, "How much?"
Feeling a bit ill Nanoha admitted, "About two hundred dollars, I was going to do some shopping tomorrow."
Struggling not to lose her already frayed temper and storm back into the hotel and rip that partition apart and strangle that thieving receptionist Fate took large calming breathes. Nanoha noticed this and placed a hand on her arm, "Don't. Don't get upset over this…me. You've done so much already. And if you can really find me another job I am sure I can make do in the meantime."
Shaking her head to let go of all her plots of retribution Fate blew out a breath and said, "Considering the hour we'll have to wait until tomorrow. But for tonight we can at least celebrate the return of all your other stuff. Come on I know a place nearby that has great food and a killer hot chocolate."
Wanting nothing more than to go along but not having the money for such a splurge Nanoha shook her head and said, "Sorry I can't, I haven't the money for something like that."
The quirk of a finely sculpted eyebrow made it clear Fate thought she was being strange, "I'm paying. I offered didn't I? Besides you'd be doing me a favor, I hate eating alone."
Taking Nanoha's arm Fate led her along a few streets until they came to a small family diner. Once inside the warmth and seated Fate began to strip off layers of clothing, first the oversized and very warm jacket, then the sweatshirt. Nanoha felt her throat go dry when she saw how the tee-shirt she wore hugged her curves. Normally she would have been jealous of another woman's assets but right now all she wanted to do was sample them.
Fate had also taken off her beanie and was retying her hair back as it had gotten loose and messy from the hat. As she did so a lightning bolt tattoo on her left forearm came into view along with another on her right wrist of a music note in a heart. These left Nanoha wondering if she had anymore tattoos and where they might be.
As she coiled her long and smooth hair into a loose knot at the back of her head Nanoha remembered how soft it had felt when it had brushed her hands when she had clung to Fate crying. Finally Fate took off her glasses to clean them on her shirt and Nanoha gasped. Fate had the most beautiful eyes she had ever seen, burgundy pools of fine red wine.
Taking a sip of water Nanoha tried to ask casually, "So Fate where are you from?"
Fate had put her glasses back on and was looking at the menu and answered without looking up, "I was born in Hortus Tempore, Italy but was raised here in Midchilda most of my life. When I graduated high school I moved overseas to Los Angeles to study music. That's kinda home now. What about you? You don't sound like a Mid."
Giving a small snort Nanoha said, "I doubt I ever will, I'm from Uminari City."
Fate looked up and smiled, "That's on the coast isn't it. My family visited there when I was twelve, it was beautiful."
Nanoha found herself mesmerized by Fate's smile, and didn't know what to make of the weird speeding up of her heart. Fate was… well a woman and she had never been attracted to a woman before. Truth be told she had never been attracted to anyone before, she had just accepted Yuuno because everyone expected them to end up together. They had been friends for years and he had been pursuing her for nearly the entire length of their friendship wearing her down.
Before the silence drew out from Nanoha's daze the waitress came over to take their orders. Nanoha freaked out as she hadn't even looked at the menu. Seeing the slight flush on Nanoha cheeks and the way she was frantically flipping through the menu made Fate smile wider and offer, "Would you like me to order for you?"
Grasping at straws Nanoha agreed, "Yes please, I don't know what to get."
Fate ordered and they sat for a while in silence. Finally taking pity on the now fidgeting woman across from her Fate asked, "You said you have a semester left of school, what are you studying?"
Thankful for the prompt Nanoha answered, "Teaching, mathematics for high school."
A light colored eyebrow arched up and she immediately asked Nanoha a math equation, without blinking Nanoha answered correctly making Fate grin. Nanoha noted she had a perfect smile and couldn't help feeling warm inside for having brought it on.
"Well, I know just the place for you to work. It will even give you some good experience and contacts for when you're ready to start applying for jobs."
Excited now Nanoha asked, "Where?"
"A good friend of mine…" Fate started positively then she paused, "Um I'll need to talk to her to make sure she isn't pissed at me actually."
Leaning back in her seat Fate rubbed her forehead and muttered, "Fuck."
Worried more about her friend than the job Nanoha asked gently, "What is it?"
Looking down at the table and playing with her napkin Fate said, "This friend is the cousin of someone I pissed off royally recently. She's pretty impartial most of the time but has a soft spot for her cousin so I might be persona non grata at the moment. Well, I'll call on her in the morning with coffee and donuts and see what happens. The worst that could happen is she'll steal my donuts and slam the door in my face."
Nanoha covered Fate's hand and said, "Do you want to talk about it? Your problems, you've helped me with mine."
Looking out the window Fate frowned, "I'd rather not. I'd hate for you to despise me too."
"Is it really that bad? You don't seem like the kind of person who'd purposely hurt someone," Nanoha soothed.
Taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes before looking Nanoha head on Fate said, "I did something stupid. My best friend is an actress and she wanted someone to do a reading with her. I hate acting, it's one of the few things we argue about but she convinced me to help her this one time. Just to prove I might have some talent, which I don't, but anyway the scene had a kiss in it. Apparently we weren't alone and someone got a picture of it and sent it to her girlfriend. She then sent the photo to my mother along with a nasty message about how I was a backstabbing wh…well you get the picture. My mother isn't very accepting of people of alternative lifestyles. Finding out I am lesbian this way was a shock to her and even after I traveled all the way here to visit her to try to work things out all she wanted to do was call me disgusting and disown me. Pretty much everyone I know has received a copy of the photo and has been told I'm untrustworthy."
Nanoha wasn't sure how to respond, she only had two friends who were lesbians and they had been a couple since they were kids. She couldn't imagine either of them asking to kiss her under any circumstances.
Biting her cheek as she thought about it a little longer then she asked, "What about your best friend? Surely she told her girlfriend the truth."
Fate's jaw worked for a moment, "We've been best friends for years, and she's like a sister to me. And we don't have any body-consciousness with each other. We've changed clothes in the same room, seen each other naked. Slept in the same bed and have no issue just hanging all over each other, but it's not sexual. I couldn't imagine having that kind of relationship with her; it'd be incest to me. But because we are so close her girlfriend thinks we've been sneaking around behind her back. Nothing either of us says will budge her opinion and now my best friend is dealing with a pretty ugly break up. She honestly loves her girlfriend; she even wanted to marry her someday. This whole situation is completely screwed up."
Their food arrived at this point and Fate picked at it no longer really hungry. She hadn't been eating well the past few days but she couldn't bring herself to force herself to eat like she should. Nanoha touched her hand and Fate flinched as she looked up.
She gave Fate a tentative smile and said. "You need to eat properly. You're so skinny as it is, it wouldn't do for you to get sick over this. If your friend and her girlfriend are meant to be together they'll work through this. It sounds like this was just the final straw for her girlfriend, eventually something would have set this confrontation off. As for your mother, well I am sure eventually she'll realize how important you are and she'll reach out to you again. She's your mom, she loves you right?"
A long fingered hand rubbed at Fate's soft pink lips as she thought about this then she said, "You're right, I just have to be patient and things will work themselves out. I maybe alone for a while but eventually things will get back to normal. Huff, it's not like I talk to my mom all that often as it is. She hates what I do for a living."
Tilting her head questioningly Nanoha looked at Fate silently asking her to go on.
Taking a small bite of food and swallowing Fate felt a bit better and spoke, "I'm a composer. Well, that's what I want to be at least. I'm studying for my master's degree and write music, I've sold a few pieces but there is a lot more for me to learn."
Blurting out the question without thinking Nanoha asked, "How old are you?"
Straightening her glasses Fate said, "Twenty-five, practically ancient, huh?"
Laughing a little at this Nanoha said, "Not really, I am twenty-two."
After this they both ate with amused smiles then lingered over hot chocolate talking about nothing and everything like old friends. Fate felt better than she had in over a week, no longer. As fun as it was to hang out with Rein there wasn't this kind of instant camaraderie, this warmth from a smile that relieved her burdened soul. Fate knew she was treading on dangerous ground, Nanoha was straight and even if she was single now it didn't mean it'd be safe to fall for her. Between a life waiting an ocean away and the reality of what her career demanded even if she was a lesbian there wouldn't be much chance of a long distance relationship working. It'd be best to keep the beautiful auburn haired woman at arm's length from here on. Anymore of those warm hugs and it'd be a lost cause.
Walking out of the restaurant a few hours later Fate didn't know what to do next, it was late and now all the buses had stopped running. She felt bad about keeping Nanoha out past their running time and wanted to offer to pay for a taxi but wasn't sure if the girl would accept any more financial assistance tonight.
Nanoha had been thinking about Fate's situation, she had no place to go, which meant she'd have to find a hotel. Fate had helped her so much already today and for whatever reason she felt safe. Would it be a really bad idea to invite her to stay the night?
Looking at the dark haired woman before her in her oversized clothes she could see she was hesitating also, deciding Fate had done enough for one day Nanoha blurted out, "Would you like to sleep with me? Um oh no that came out wrong, um I meant at my apartment. I have a pull out couch that's actually pretty comfortable. I could make you breakfast before you go see your friend."
Fate felt heat flood her face, oh god yes she would love to sleep with Nanoha! Maybe they wouldn't go all the way but Fate could definitely see herself kissing the woman senseless and touching her more intimately than she had ever done with anyone else. Mentally shaking those thoughts away she cleared her throat, "Th…that would be great. Um, I could pay for the taxi to get us to your place."
Suddenly Nanoha realized what Fate had been hesitating about, she had forgotten all about the limited bus schedule. Feeling like an idiot she bemoaned, "And here I was thinking I was helping you out."
Touching her arm lightly Fate said, "You are. The fact that anyone wants me around at all means a lot."
Nanoha shivered at the touch and felt her heart beat go double time, yes Fate felt safe but she also felt good. Never having experienced this before Nanoha didn't mentally know how to react but her body did; instinctively she moved a step closer. Fate's warmth radiated off her as did her sweet scent, it was floral and made Nanoha think of something wild and free.
Voice soft Fate said, "I'll flag down a taxi," then she pulled away.
~"~"~"~
Nanoha's apartment was small but well cared for. The liberal use of blues and whites made it feel open and airy but somehow it still had the slight feeling of loneliness to it. It was like the place was only half lived in, waiting for someone else to fill in the gap. Looking at the shorter woman Fate agreed with the sentiment, Nanoha deserved to have someone by her side to love and support her. Pulling out the couch bed and putting on fresh linens Fate settled her things off to the side after fishing out her toiletries and night clothes.
Each made quick work of washing up and then said an awkward goodnight. Fate laid on the bed and had to agree it was comfortable. The scent of Nanoha seemed embedded in the pillow she used and made it hard not to try to suffocate herself breathing it in like a mad junky. The time difference and her own rioting thoughts made it hard for Fate to sleep. Sitting up she reached for her guitar case and fished out her most precious possession, a gift from her late father. Lightly strumming the guitar she played an old lullaby her father use to play for her. It was a melancholy tune but somehow always left her feeling better after hearing it, like she wasn't the only one too long for something more.
Nanoha couldn't sleep; she tossed and turned thinking about the woman laying in her living room. What the hell was she feeling for her? It wasn't pity, it was definitely bigger than friendship, the feeling was huge. How was it she could go from feeling like her world was in pieces to agonizing over her…infatuation? with another woman. Getting up quietly to get a drink of water and maybe a peek at a sleeping Fate Nanoha was surprised to hear the soft strum of a guitar. The sound vibrated in her bones and filled her with such a longing.
When the last chord was played Fate hugged the guitar as if it was her last friend in the world. The soft sound of crying quickly had Nanoha crossing the small room and wrapping Fate in a tight embrace. Earlier in the day she had done the same for her, how could she do less? Fate felt the warmth and knew it was too late, somewhere in the ensuing hours she had fallen hard for the woman. Fallen like one of the stupid songs she had sung but had never really understood.
After Fate's tears stopped Nanoha pulled back and gently wiped her tears away. In the dark all she could see was the outline of her beautiful sculpted face but her hands took liberties in outlining each smooth curve. Before Nanoha knew what she was doing her thumb was grazing across soft full lips and the urge to taste them overwhelmed her. Leaning in Nanoha went on the instinct that told her here was the person she'd been waiting for and pressed her lips to Fate's.
The kiss was everything both women had ever dreamed a first kiss with their true love could be. It was soft and tender, loving and giving, and filled each with a longing for more. After they broke apart for a desperate gasp of air Fate felt herself being pressed down by warm urgent hands. Laying back she pulled Nanoha onto her and they continued to kiss until both were sure if it went on any longer they'd explode or go crazy.
Leaning her head on Fate's shoulder Nanoha asked, "Is it always like this?"
Petting long loose auburn hair Fate replied, "Is what always like this?"
Swallowing loudly Nanoha clarified, "Kissing another woman."
Pressing a kiss to Nanoha's temple Fate said, "No, but I don't exactly have a lot of experience in this either."
Nanoha snuggled in tighter to Fate and asked shyly, "How many women have you been with?"
Fate laughed, "I'm pretty pathetic when it comes to romance. I've never had a proper girlfriend. I've gone out on a few dates and kissed…hmm four women. Romantically that is, but I never felt like this after kissing any of them."
Lightly running a hand up and down Fate's back Nanoha asked, "So that means you've actually kissed five women before me?"
Tightening her hold on Nanoha Fate smiled into her hair, "Yes, I suppose I should count Rain."
That answer made Nanoha laugh a little, "Does kissing your friend really mean so little?"
"You said you have a sister right? Well, have you ever kissed your sister, like when you were really little, four or five? Innocent and completely void of sensuality. I know I have, I loved my big sister so much growing up and when she came home from school I'd run up to her and hug her and kiss her without really thinking about it. It was like that, you can't really count kissing family members, can you?"
Nanoha knew exactly what Fate meant and believed her. But a hint of fear entered her mind, she had never felt so close to someone, so connected and now her hormones were clamoring for more. Fate lived thousands of miles away; whatever was happening between them would end in a two short weeks no matter what either of them wanted. So right now she had to decide would a couple of weeks of happiness be worth the heartache that was sure to come when Fate left?
As if she had read Nanoha's mind Fate said, "Nanoha, I really like you but I don't want to hurt you. I am going to be leaving in a couple weeks so as good as this feels, as right as it all feels I think we need to stop. Tomorrow I'll do what I can to help you secure another job then I think I'd be best if we went our separate ways."
As Fate spoke she felt something inside of her tear, Nanoha could almost feel it herself in the tension of her body. Lifting her head she then took Fate's face in her hands and kissed her again making Fate groan. Pulling back she said, "No, even if it hurts. Even if this can't last more than a couple of weeks I want it, I want to feel more with you. I may never get another chance to feel this way again and I don't want to waste this."
Fate kissed her with all the emotion she could muster then pulled back to say, "This may end up killing me you know that?"
Shaking her head Nanoha said, "I promise you Fate, we'll both survive and whatever this is will make us both stronger."
~"~"~"~
Nanoha was laughing harder than she had had in years. The tiny red haired woman she was to work for was currently chasing her girlfriend around the room with a squeaking inflatable hammer. The sounds of the pathetic squeaks and ouches filled the air. Vita Wolkenritter wasn't someone to mess with, it was clear. Silly Fate had failed to tell Nanoha her new boss was sensitive about her height and physical appearance, she looked twelve but was actually closer to thirty. When Nanoha said something about how cute she was she had scowled then Fate's snickering laugh had set her off. As Fate ran she called out the pertinent information which only further infuriated the woman. A thump and the rapid sound of multiple blows striking made it clear Fate had been caught.
A few moments later a huffing red head came back into view dusting herself off, pointing the inflatable hammer at Nanoha she said, "Let this be a lesson to you. I don't take sass from anyone. If you can't speak to me like a professional then I'll treat you like a child."
Fate stood up all rumpled and rubbing her head looking contrite. Vita looked at her and sniffed, "Seeing as this idiot brought you all this way and you do have the proper credentials I don't see why I shouldn't hire you. Be here on the second of January at four ready to teach."
Then Vita fished out a binder and handed it to Nanoha, "This is the lesson plan my school uses for tutoring, you may tweak it a little to make it your own but don't go crazy. I make random inspections of classes; there will be no forewarning so make sure you stay on your toes."
Nanoha took the binder and thanked the shorter woman for the job, Vita blushed a bit at Nanoha's exuberance and muttered, "Yeah, yeah just do a good job and don't make me regret listening to that hack street musician."
Fate was doing her best to avoid smirking at this description of herself; Vita of all people knew how talented she was but would be the first to pop any over inflating ego. The trio then went into the school's break room and shared out the donuts Fate had brought talking and getting to know each other. Vita's acerbic tone hid a soft heart and in a roundabout way she reassured Fate that she knew she'd never do anything to hurt or betray a friend. After about an hour of chatting and the last donut having been polished off Vita wiped her hands and said, "Well, I've wasted enough time jabbering with you, I've got a school to run."
Shaking hands once more Nanoha and Fate left the school grounds and it was only once they got out of sight that Nanoha threw her arms around Fate and kissed her hard in thanks. Fate was instantly a puddle of goo and melted into the kiss.
When Nanoha pulled away grinning Fate was still dazed which made the auburn haired woman laugh, "You are so cute you know that."
Looking at Nanoha intently Fate replied, "Not as cute as you are."
Nanoha blushed and shushed her, leading her by the arm down the street. They were quiet for a while as they just enjoyed the brisk winter air and each other's company.
When they came up to the train station Fate asked, "Would you like to go into town and buy some groceries? Seeing how I'm going to be staying with you it'd be my pleasure to pay for them as payment for letting me stay."
"Are you sure that it won't be too much of an expense for you?" Nanoha asked worriedly.
Fate shook her head and explained, "Nanoha I would have had to pay for a hotel and all my meals if you hadn't taken me in like a stray. Believe me when I say it won't be a problem."
The pair smiled at each other, both feeling as if they had gotten the better end of the deal as they headed into the town center. When they got to the supermarket Nanoha wanted to balk at the amount of food Fate intended to buy but then she normally only bought enough for herself so the larger amounts were necessary with two at the table. Fresh produce and a variety of meats and even a pretty horrible assortment of junk food were thrown in the cart. Nanoha snickered at the sugary breakfast cereal which made Fate stick her tongue out at her and throw an extra box in the cart.
The overloaded pair took a taxi home again which made Nanoha grimace a bit at the expense but Fate didn't seemed fazed. Once inside Fate helped put away the groceries and Nanoha couldn't help thinking it was nice to have someone living with her. Breakfast that morning had been somewhat subdued as Fate didn't know what to expect but now she was smiling and laughing. Nanoha wanted her beautiful stray puppy to always be happy like this.
After everything was put away Fate collapsed on the couch where she stretched her neck and rolled her shoulders. Nanoha came up behind her and began to massage her shoulders making Fate moan in appreciation. Leaning over Nanoha placed a soft kiss on her cheek and was rewarded with Fate turning her head to give her a lingering kiss. Yesterday she had been trying to nerve herself to give her body to man she didn't love and today she was kissing the sweetest and most generous woman she had ever met, life was truly strange. Nanoha continued to massage Fate's shoulders and neck feeling the strength in hidden muscles and marveling at the smooth softness of her skin.
After ten minutes or so Fate pulled Nanoha over and had her sit on her lap where she held her tight breathing her in, Nanoha giggled, "Nyahaha Fate that tickles."
Nanoha immediately covered her mouth and blushed; Yuuno had always said her giggling was childish and foolish sounding. Fate looked at her quizzically making Nanoha look away and apologize, "Sorry, I know that sounded stupid."
Confused Fate asked, "What did?" then realizing she meant her giggle she felt a stab of pain in her heart and hugged Nanoha tight and said, "It's cute. It's perfect, just like you. I love your giggle."
Then as if to prove her point Fate began to tickle her and Nanoha's giggles filled the air making Fate feel happier and more at peace than at any other time in her life. She'd punctuate her tickles with kisses on her face; cheeks, forehead, and lips making Nanoha feel…loved.
The rest of the day was spent lounging on the couch, Nanoha got up to make popcorn and they put on a movie then snuggled. Honestly Fate had little appreciation for TV or movies; she lived for music and preferred a book and quiet but she'd take any excuse to curl up with Nanoha. When the movie was over Nanoha turned to her and asked, "So what did you think?"
Trying to hide a sheepish smile Fate admitted, "I don't know I was paying more attention to you than the movie."
The blush and shy smile that broke out at this made the gentle smacking to her arm well worth it. Pulling Nanoha in she kissed her again, she was addictive and Fate wasn't sure if was going to be able to get on her plane without leaving behind a huge irreplaceable piece of herself. But the future was still a distant thing and there was no way she was going to waste a moment moping over things she couldn't change.
~"~"~"~
Days passed in a daze of wonderment. Waking up next to Nanoha was the most wonderful thing she had ever experienced. They hadn't done anything more than kiss, Fate wouldn't have let herself even think of pressuring Nanoha for more. Anymore and Fate would die when she left, as it was, Fate was sure she'd be living only a half-life once Nanoha was no longer by her side. No more would she be able to suffer through a lonely meal without wishing the sapphire eyed beauty was across from her. Her cold bed would feel emptier and sleep would become elusive without her favorite body pillow.
Nanoha herself loved to watch Fate wander around her apartment, loose pants and tank top somehow seemed to hide and display her perfect form enticingly. The sound of Fate's guitar made Nanoha smile but no matter how much she begged Fate never sang, claiming she was a better player than singer. Never had she enjoyed dates as much as she did with Fate, a walk in the park and lunch, a movie which Fate normally ignored in favor of snuggling into Nanoha, or just window shopping. As long as they were together it meant so much more than such mundane things had ever meant before.
Christmas day came and somehow Fate had managed to buy Nanoha a present when she wasn't looking. She knew it might be too much but she needed Nanoha to know she was special and this whole thing between them wasn't just a lark, a fling. When the day dawned Fate was woken by the scent of fresh baked pastries and coffee. Getting up she found Nanoha in her long sleep shirt and an apron cooking. She was too beautiful for words and Fate tried to impress the image into her mind to treasure for the coming days, weeks…years of loneliness.
Eating was always enjoyable; Nanoha was a fantastic cook thanks to her parents owning a café where she had worked throughout high school. Conversation was light and ranged all over from plans for the day and past Christmases. Fate normally spent the day with friends since her family lived so far away, but there had been a couple of years where she had been all alone. Nanoha could see the loneliness and wished she could promise she would be with Fate every Christmas from then on but she couldn't.
They dressed and went out to walk the busy streets and take in the decorations and displays all over the city. Fate had dressed a bit nicer than normal, dress pants and a more fitted sweater and a nice coat. Her dark brown hair was pulled back neatly with a black ribbon and she actually wore her contacts. Nanoha said she liked being able to see her eyes and the risk of discovery was worth it to make Nanoha happy. Seeing this version of Fate made Nanoha feel a bit awkward, like this Fate seemed almost out of her league. What right did she have to be with such a beautiful woman?
As they walked people stared at Fate, a couple of people actually snapped photos of her when she was looking away. Nanoha wanted to growl and snatch the offending electronic devices and smash them, Fate was hers damn it! They passed a newsstand and the latest gossip rag had a picture of FATE on the cover with a question mark over where she had recently disappeared too. After her falling out with best friend Reinforce Eins the world wanted to know, was the kiss seen around the world so bad the friends couldn't even face each other anymore?
Nanoha's eyes caught the cover and frowned and her mind began to work furiously but she couldn't understand why the magazine annoyed her so much. Fate was completely oblivious to the stares and to the offensive newsstand, all that mattered to her today was Nanoha. So Nanoha's worsening mood was a definite cause for concern. Pulling them into a side street Fate pressed her into wall and kissed her hoping this would relieve some of her stress.
Holding Fate's face in her hands Nanoha stared hard at Fate and suddenly gave a little gasp of recognition which made Fate sadden and pull away.
Nanoha gave a shuddering breath and said, "You're…you are…oh my…"
Hands stuffed in her pockets Fate said apologetically, "I am sorry. But I never lied to you Nanoha; everything I've said was the truth."
Confused and a bit disbelieving Nanoha said, "But how could that be? You are a damn celebrity! Women must be falling all over themselves to be with you."
Seeing the hurt in Nanoha's eyes Fate tried to explain, "Nanoha why in the hell would I want to be with someone who just wanted to be with me because my fame or wealth? I live a nearly secluded life, I don't go to parties, I don't drink, do drugs or sleep around. I have to be one of the biggest fakes in the industry. My looks, my stage persona is nothing like what I am. I was raised to be a concert pianist for pity sake, how does that prepare one to be a rock star?"
Not knowing what to believe Nanoha held herself and tried to contain her conflicted emotions. Fate knew better than to touch her and only said in a voice filled with heartbreak, "I never wanted to hurt you. If you want me to leave I will."
Not knowing what else to do Nanoha just nodded her head as she felt something in her shatter. This was worse than the day they had met, her life would go on but she'd never be the same again. Fate walked slowly by her side until they came to Nanoha's apartment. Fate packed her things without protest and slid the duffle over her shoulder as she gripped her guitar case. Reaching into her coat pocket Fate placed a small wrapped gift on the side table and whispered, "Goodbye Nanoha."
~"~"~"~
Fate's feet took her to the Wolkenritter residence and even the thought of being strangled by Signum wasn't enough to dissuade her. Death had to be better than this awful ache that seemed to be eating her from the inside out. The statuesque pink haired woman who answered the door glowered for a moment then seeing how broken Fate truly was let go her anger. The little blonde had always been a favorite of hers and even she knew Fate would never betray her friends.
Fate spent the last few days in the country with her friends trying and failing to expunge Nanoha from her mind and heart. In the end she asked Vita to watch out for the woman who had stolen her heart and to let her know if there was anything she needed. Nanoha might hate her but she would always be her first love. The ride home she no longer tried at any pretense to hide who she was, washing out the dye and dressing to kill she strode onto the plane and caused a stir like no other.
The weeks passed and Fate was in the news more than ever, having called a press conference to announce a new album and to give a statement regarding all the rumors. She told the truth and made a joke about how acting would likely be her downfall. The reporters laughed and asked if she was really considering taking the leap into this new venue.
She shook her head and reiterated her position, "Acting is for actors. I haven't a shred of talent in that department, I mean look at that kiss it looks like I was trying to eat my best friend, not attractive."
Fate avoided Rein and Hayate not wanting to open up any old wounds. Honestly she just wanted to wallow in her own self-pity. She missed Nanoha, she ached for her but she always knew she was going to feel this way.
~"~"~"~
Nanoha felt lost without Fate, how could someone in one week's time become such an irreplaceable part of one's life? She spent more time reading celebrity magazines searching for any news on Fate then she had ever done in the past. That Fate appeared to be healthy and smiling in all her photos and managing to turn the scandal on its head which made Nanoha feel a mix of relief and disappointment. She didn't want Fate to be depressed and a wreck but was it too much to hope she missed her as much as she was missing Fate?
The Christmas present Fate left for her still sat on her table, untouched. Nanoha didn't know what to do with it, opening it might…would only cause her more pain but she couldn't throw it away. When her sister came to visit her for the New Year with a gift basket of goodies she casually picked up the package. Nanoha yelled at her and yanked it out of her hands holding it tightly to her chest. Suddenly she couldn't hold in the pain and began to cry, the only thing Miyuki could understand was one word, 'fate.'
Opening the package Nanoha found a beautiful necklace with a pink pearl pendant, her favorite, and found herself sobbing into her pillows. It was exactly as she expected, the gift was perfect and it ripped at her already tattered soul. The ache didn't go away but she found wearing the necklace at least let her feel like a small part of Fate was still with her. She felt more and more sure she had been an idiot to push Fate away that day; they could have had so many more happy memories together. Now she just wished she could reach Fate and tell her how sorry she was for her foolishness.
Vita watched her new employee and was happy with her work, even when she came in to observe she didn't let that distract her from her job. The only thing that annoyed her was the way she sighed all the time and how she played with that stupid necklace Fate had left for her. If she really wanted the idiot back then all she had to do was ask. She wouldn't be teaching here without Fate's intervention surely Nanoha could figure out Vita could contact the blonde musician if she wanted.
~"~"~"~
Nanoha was sitting in the auditorium waiting to be called up for her diploma, her family and friends were all in attendance but she still felt dissatisfied, Fate wasn't here. This was what she had been struggling to accomplish by her own merit for so many long years and the one person she most wanted to be proud of her wasn't there. After the ceremony she made her way through the crowd and Nanoha noticed a flash of long blonde hair and her heart rocketed, Fate! Pushing her way through the crowd until she came to the person she had glimpsed and felt her heart sink, Yuuno.
Turning away, hoping he hadn't seen her and she could melt back into the crowd, but that turned out to be a failure. When a strong grip took her arm she was suddenly being pulled into an unwanted embrace. Revulsion filled her and she struggled to get loose, his annoyed tenor voice tried to quell her but she just spat, "I want nothing to do with you, let me go!"
Then suddenly she was free and a voice she thought she'd never hear again spoke in a low growl, "Nanoha has made her position clear, back off."
This time her hair was dyed in streaks of colors; blue, pink and green highlighted her blonde tresses. She was wearing new glasses, stylish and somehow they didn't seem so thick. Her clothes were a mix of punk and formal wear. Somehow it suited her and while outlandish it wasn't so bad that someone would have refused her entrance to the event.
Yuuno didn't know what to make of the bizarre character in front of him and tried to puff himself up, "Who the hell are you to tell me to back off, I'm Nanoha's my fiancée!"
Not willing to let this lie stand Nanoha screeched, "Like hell I am! I'd sooner marry a ferret!"
Fate wasn't about to believe a word from the blonde male idiot's mouth but the fervent denial from Nanoha did make her feel better. Then suddenly Fate was being spun around and in full view of everyone in the auditorium Nanoha was kissing her. Not willing to let this chance slid past Fate wrapped her arms around the shorter woman and kissed her back for all she was worth. Neither paid the gaping man near them any attention too busy reacquainting themselves to the feel of the one they loved.
When a very different voice cleared his throat Nanoha pulled away blushing but didn't let Fate go, turning to her father she said with a smile, "Papa I'd like you to meet someone very special to me, Fate T. Harlaown. Most people know her as just FATE though."
The tall stern black haired man took in the woman his daughter was currently clinging too and felt a huge wave of dismay flood him. He could deal with his daughter being gay but did she have to involve herself with such a…a…
Miyuki let out a squeal of recognition and jumped at the pair, "Oh my god! Nanoha you little monster you didn't tell me the girl you were hung up on was THE FATE! I am such a huge fan of yours."
Suddenly many more people were turning to stare and a murmur of recognition filled the room. Soon people were pushing their way over to Fate and demanding photos and autographs. Fate kept a tight grip on Nanoha and while willing to sign autographs, but wasn't in the mood for photos. Pointing out to the disappointed crowd she was here for her…girlfriend's graduation and didn't want to get distracted. An hour later Fate and Nanoha were making their way free of the crowd only to reunite with her family.
By this time Miyuki had filled in her parents on just who Fate was, this was no slacker with no future, quite the opposite. Fate was already a holder of five Grammies, an Emmy, Tony and an Oscar. The woman was already a living legend within the music industry and was only twenty-five years old. Shiro Takamachi still wasn't sure he approved of the match but the radiant smile on his daughter's face made it clear his opinion wouldn't count for much.
Fate proved to be well mannered and soft spoken, much more like a wallflower than an international superstar. She offered to take the family out for a celebratory dinner and the offer was quickly taken up by the elder two Takamachi women. Throughout dinner Fate answered questions and tried to downplay her own accomplishments. Miyuki couldn't believe the punk-rock singer could be such a softy especially when it came to her little sister. Shiro and Kyoya as the males of the family tried to intimidate Fate a bit to see how she would deal with the pressure and found themselves slapped down harshly by Nanoha who wasn't about to let anyone run Fate off.
After dinner Nanoha's mother having given her approval of the pair made sure to drag her sulking husband and son away so they could have a little alone time. Fate felt a little bit like a fraud, she had come with nothing more in mind than to see Nanoha graduate then leave before anyone really noticed her. But when that idiot had grabbed her she had seen red and was by Nanoha's side in an instant to yank the fool off. When Nanoha kissed her it was like everything in the universe was set right again. She had claimed Nanoha as her girlfriend without consulting the woman but she hadn't denied it. Then she had defended her throughout dinner and hadn't let her go for one moment, all positive signs but Fate wasn't going to take anything for granted.
They had come to Nanoha's apartment and once inside they found themselves in an awkward silence. The whole walk each had been lost in thought but now it was the moment for truth. Biting her lip Fate finally broke the silence, "Nanoha, I meant it when I said I want you to be my girlfriend. I'd like for you to be much more than that someday. I…I love you so if you'll just give me a chance I hope to prove myself worthy of you."
Tears sprang to Nanoha's eyes and she could no longer hold back, throwing her arms around Fate she said, "Idiot! I love you; of course I want to be your girlfriend. I'm so sorry I pushed you away. I was just so shocked; I couldn't believe someone like you could really be like you. That probably doesn't make sense. But I love you and I don't ever want you to leave me again."
Before long they were kissing in earnest again and it was like no time had passed since their last kiss. When they landed on the couched Fate held her tight as they snuggled close and once again marveled at how right this all felt. It might have been minutes or hours later but they finally settled in and spoke about their future. Fate was determined to return to Midchilda, she didn't need to live overseas. She would find a house or build one and work mostly from there. When she had to go in for recording she would fly in for a short time but there was no need to go back when all she wanted…needed was here.
Nanoha spoke of visiting her at her new home and Fate chuckled, "Why would you visit your own home? I want to live with you Nanoha, I have never been happier than the time I spent here with you."
Grinning like a loon Nanoha hugged her lover tight, "I want to live with you too. It felt so right when you were here with me. I've missed you so much."
~"~"~"~
Ten Years Later
Fate was sitting at a bus stop in front of a high school, her knitted cap keeping her head warm in the frigid air. Just like so many years ago she had a pair of earbuds stuck in her ears listening to the latest hits of her contemporaries. Her oversized jacket almost swallowed her. Her scuffed sneakers still poked out from a pair of ragged skater pants. So what if she looked more ridiculous than normal, it was her ten year anniversary and she meant to surprise her wife. As the beautiful auburn haired woman exited the school she took in her surroundings and immediately saw the ragged form across the way and grinned. Crossing the street she stood in front of the scruffy blonde mess and said, "You do know there are better ways to pick up women?"
Grinning Fate stood up took off her jacket and wrapped it around her wife, "Maybe, but I've found this is the best way to catch the one I want."
Reaching into the pocket of the jacket Fate pulled out a small box and presented it to her wife, "Happy anniversary love."
Taking the box but not opening it Nanoha wrapped her arms around the woman who had made all her dreams come true. Had built her up and supported her, who loved her so profoundly it was shocking sometimes. Leaning in she kissed her beautiful stray puppy, kissing her wife never got old, it was still as sweet and rewarding as their first.
Pulling back Nanoha smiled, "Happy anniversary love, now what do you say we go home so you can change. The kids must be wondering why their mama is dressed so strangely."
Fate laughed, "Hey one day this look will come back, I'm sure of it!"
Giggling warmly, "Nyahaha, oh Fate, I don't ever think this was an acceptable look for anyone, least of all you."
Nuzzling her wife Fate teased, "Hey, it helped me snag the most beautiful woman I ever met. If I hadn't looked like a lost puppy you'd have never taken me home that day."
Nanoha just hummed neither confirming nor denying her wife's words and dragged her off to her car. It was still a habit of Fate's to take the bus places and wander around just like a "normal" person. She hardly ever drove since she had what she called a lead foot and didn't like getting speeding tickets as it felt like she was being a bad role model. Nanoha loved her for her conscientiousness but worried one day she'd get caught by a mob and be torn to pieces by her fans. Settling in Nanoha turned on the radio and her wife's latest hit came on making the blonde roll her eyes and try to change the station.
Smacking her hand lightly Nanoha said, "Uh-ah Fate, my car, my music."
Leaning in and kissing Nanoha's cheek Fate said, "Yes, it is."
~"~"~"~
A/N2: Thanks for reading, please review and let me know what y'all think. I write for fun and the entertainment of others, each review makes me feel like my effort is worthwhile. Happy Singles Awareness Day!