Sousa drabble because I adore him. Written in haste, posted without a reread. Sorry for the mistakes. Took some liberties with Sousa's background, cause Steve Rogers did save Peggy's future husband. Obviously, I'm hoping that will be Sousa!
Thompson accused him of carrying a torch for her. He figured that might be true. But he'd been carrying it for far longer than they assumed. He'd known Steve, though he could never have called him more than an acquaintance. The man had saved his life, had lent a sympathetic ear to his woes and heard his hopes for the future. The dreams and fears of a virtual stranger. And perhaps it was Daniel's own candid reveal, but Daniel had heard of Steve's own in return. He'd heard of his frustration at his early role in the war, as a symbol and figurehead rather than making any real impact in the war. And he'd heard all about Peggy Carter, a woman who'd meant nothing to Daniel, and yet it was clear Steve had been besotted with her.
And Daniel had wished deep in his heart for the woman that Steve Rogers described, brave and selfless and strong and compassionate and the dozen other things that he described. Of course he'd hoped for a woman like Peggy, not the exact woman. He'd never have wished Steve's fate on anyone, though he wasn't sure of the specifics. But he could see the anguish in Peggy's eyes when she spoke of him in the past tense. Steve was dead. And Daniel was left with a heavy burden of guilt.
He'd become aware of Peggy through propaganda footage of the war, but he'd known her through Steve. And when he'd heard that there was a woman joining the SSR he'd had a very different reaction than the other men on their team. Well, maybe not entirely different. He'd felt the innate need to keep her safe, whoever the woman was because of her gender. But he'd very little doubt that she belonged in the SSR, if only because she'd come highly recommended with the referral of a Colonel no less.
It was a punch to the gut when he realized that Agent Margaret Carter was none other than Steve's Peggy. It was hard to swallow that he was immediately attracted to her in a way that shamed him. She belonged to a dead hero, a man that had saved his life. But she was everything that Steve described and more. He found it easy to love her, even if she could see no man past the ghost of Steve that was always in front of her. And why would she want him? He was broken, half a man and less than that when compared to the heroic but tragic hero Captain America.
Sometimes he had hope. When she talked of Steve as just a man rather than a hero. When she talked of his flaws as if they were endearing, and idly stroked the old photograph they had of Steve before the Super Soldier Serum was injected into his veins. Peggy loved more than just the image. But would she ever love anyone else?
Her betrayal was nothing less than heartbreaking. He might have handled it better if he hadn't been half in love with her. His actions and words were the result of his anger and hurt. It was vindictive and childish to lash out like he did, to accuse her of things he'd never previously believed she'd ever been capable of. But it hurt, God did it hurt that she'd chosen someone like Howard Fucking Stark over him. And he couldn't help but laugh at his own blindness. Of course he'd never had a chance in the first place. But his bleeding heart had yearned and no one was surprised when he'd been burned.
Her complete confession of the events from her perspective created a greater turmoil within him. She'd called the SSR to give him the credit for the recovery of Stark's inventions. That had to mean something, didn't it? She at least thought he was worth something. But was it pity? Was it because of a shared sense of isolation at their own deficiencies?
One thing was certain, he couldn't hide the relief he felt when she'd stared at them all with condemnation at the suggestion that she and Howard were anything more than friends with a shared past. Even if it had taken awhile to truly believe her. Even if he wanted so badly to believe her that Thompson stared at him as if he'd lost his mind. Lost his heart, yes. But he hoped that even when it came to Peggy he could maintain a little perspective. Even when she'd said he placed her on a pedestal. Maybe he did. He never would again.
His unshakeable faith in Peggy would never be as blind. His heart still might bear the marks of her mistrust, but she'd only proven how truly remarkable she was. And how deep her commitment to Steve Rogers' memory went.
One thing would remain certain. He was willing to wait for Peggy Carter.
Thanks for reading!
P.S. Title inspired by William Shakespeare's Hamlet.
Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love
Always loved that one. Obviously the title isn't exact, but I liked it.
