Title: Elucidation of silence
Author: The angelic vampire
Main Character: Neville Longbottom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Remembrance and deduction and a world of emotion.
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.
A/N: this just welled up and I needed to write it down before I lost it. This is an attempt at writing emotions down, not the easiest thing to do, so I hope I've succeeded at least partially.
Not betaed, any mistakes are all mine and I apologize.
Neville never raises his voice. In fact, he hardly ever lets any sound get away from him. His gran told him that she was especially worried about his development when he was a toddler. He didn't cry, you see. He didn't scream. He didn't throw temper tantrums. He didn't make a sound if he could help it. Apparently it worried her almost as much as his apparent lack of magical manifestation did; almost.
His gran thinks it has to do with the fact that he lost his parents as active participants in his life. So she has taken up the habit of making him visit his parents every weekend and that continues whenever he's staying with her, rather then at Hogwarts. He doesn't mind visiting them, but he doesn't appreciate the imposed implications his gran can't stop to make.
Neville knows that doesn't have a mum to tuck him in or a dad to play broomstick with. He was there when he wanted both after all, and knew not to cry for either. He does have a mum who gives him wrappers with letters on them, however, and a dad who strokes his hair when given the opportunity. And sometimes that's enough when he considers covered green eyes, pale skin, black hair and no wrappers or petting at all. When he thinks of that, he is fully appreciative of the letters and occasional touch.
Of course, he hasn't quite managed to form words with the letters, and a part of him tells him that he never will. Nor does his father actually know that he's petting his son's hair, and he's as likely to pet the magazines on the coffee table in the visitors lounge. Neville knows all of this, but he doesn't think it's the reason why he's silent.
After all, he' s met orphans who weren't silent, who screamed and cried and raged. It should be worse, no wrappers and no stroking, so he doesn't see why the non active participation would be the reason to make him silent.
He thinks silent is the wrong word, really. After all, he isn't really silent even if he doesn't make a sound. He's there and he leaves his mark, even though he doesn't want to and maybe that is part of why he is 'silent'.
After all, he was there before the wrappers and absentminded stroking and it didn't help him at all. He remembers the crying and the shrieking and he knows that it didn't make a difference. He can recall the whimpering and the raging and the screaming until the voices cracked.
He remembers the red viscous haze, the pleading and the pain.
He remembers the inefficiency of sound.
He thinks that's why he's silent, even though he can't help but leave a mark of his own.
The end
A/N:
I hope you all liked it.