Chapter 1 welcome to hell population everyone but Mormons
Summery Kyle has died but only for 10 seconds this story will focus on his recovery from death and them revelation on Kenny dark secret and Stan and Wendy are there to help and Bebe discovers something that will shock everyone
Rating M for some sex and language
Disclaimer I do not own the rights to South Park
Chapter 1 welcome to hell population everyone but Mormons
Kyles P.O.V
So yeah I'm dead but only temporary sense that this is a near death experience so yeah I'm here with a homosexual Satan and I find out my friend Kenny blew his brains out just to warn me about gay Satan I'm flattered but I got down and cried because I never guessed my death would be dramatic like that
Hey said Kenny
Sniff hey I went for a hug and held him tight
Uhhhh you know I'm not dead said Kenny
How what did you get hid by another bus and are handicapped like in middle school for 7 months I asked
Nope I shot my brains all over the floor I kind of wish Bebe didn't see that but she will get over it in another 18 hours when I repaired and she forgets me dying said kenny
Dude you committed suicide there ain't going back I said
Actually he has a special case so yeah he doesn't stay long I hate it when he comes to visit cause he complains about my life choices and it really hurts my feeling said Satan
Wow what you mean special….
That moment images and memories pilled in my head the constant Stan yelling you killed Kenny and I saying you basturd lasted a good 30 mins before I snapped out of it and looked up at Kenny
…I'm sorry Kenny I didn't know IM A HORRIBLE FRIEND WHO DID NOTHING WHILE YOU TOLD US YOU DIED OVER AND OVER AGAIN I yelled in tears holding Kenny
Its ok its ok I would love it if you not mention it to anyone till they die cause you will be thrown into an insane asylum said kenny
Ha how do you know I'm not dead I asked
The second your heart stopped I got here as soon as possible asked around and then found out your on visiting hours so I got an extra gold pass so we could hang till you revive yourself and come back to life and then hopefully forget I died said kenny
He will not forget said Satan he will now and forever remember your deaths and every time he says that words he will constant remember in his heart and will be tortured by it ha ha ha….im sorry Kyle its just who I am if you want I could get your something any women you want for the next 10 hours for free trust me half these women are skanks and good news all diseases go away
Ha well your barking up the wrong tree I said
Oh why that is asked Satan
KYLE DON'T yelled Kenny
I'm gay I said
Ah shit great Satan I will give you 100 credits not to subduce him ok said Kenny
Why the fuck would I sleep with him he's 15 I'm a grown ass man said Satan
Oh I thought sense your Satan tolerance doesn't exist
We all talked for a good hour till I finally asked kenny to show me around he agreed and we headed to a familiar face which I almost cried when I saw…..chefs food Stan
Hello children said chef
Hey chef I ran for a hug (I'm in a very huggy mood today who knew)
Oh Kyle not you how old did you die asked chef
No man I'm not dead just near death experience I said
Oh that good so how's the earth doing meet a nice girl asked chef
Nope I said
Oh that's too bad said chef
No I mean I didn't meet a girl I met a boy I said
Damn son you gay said chef
Your damn right I am I replied
Man I love you crackers I miss you guys its boring here in hell especially sense half the folks are raciest assholes who try and lynch me every second they get but forget my complaints how old are you guys now asked chief
I'm 16 Stans 16 Kenny…
I know Kenny said chief
Oh well Wendy's 15 and bebes 16 and my man tray is 17 I said
Who asked chief?
My boyfriend I said
Oh damn said chef
Wait he's 17 years old chef asked
Yeah he got expelled in 1st grade and had to repeat it he will graduate at 19 years old I said
Damn just damn so you 2 did you asked chef
Yes we had sex at least twice I said
I knew he was weirded out but he explained that he don't give 2 shits about same sex cause were all going to hell anyway except Mormons and I told him about tray and how amazing he is at being amazing and how I will always love him
Wow Kyle I'm happy for you so are Stan and Wendy still together asked chef
Engaged I said
Damn they move fast said chef
Yeah you're engaged to Kyle trays going to buy a ring soon said Kenny
I can't wait to come back now I said
We talked for a good 2 hours till we decided to walk around hell for a good hour so that's now 4 hours and 35 mins in hell and already its better then south park damn that's pretty bad we walked till my heart sank
Kenny run I said
Why asked Kenny
Hitler is right over there I said
Oh come on bro he could care less about you dude Hitler is a lot different down here said Kenny
Really did he reflect on his life and stop hating Jews I asked
No he still hates them but what is he going to do the Jews he killed are here as well and they out number him 10 to 1 even with his Nazi army said Kenny
Ow well that sucks I said
Yeah yeah all the fun guys are down here said Kenny
Ow so Stalin I asked
Yes said Kenny
Osama I asked
Yes said Kenny
Saddam Hussain I asked
Nope said Kenny
Huh I asked how he was good enough to go to haven
Oh Satan banished him to haven said Kenny
Huh why did he do that I asked
Because he kept killing his boyfriend so he sent him to haven to live with the Mormons said Kenny
Yeah I still don't get why the Mormons go to haven I said
Well they are always the nicest people right said Kenny
Yeah I said
Well there you go said Kenny
Oh so be nice and you will go to haven I asked
Nope being nice don't give you shit ok no matter what you will go to hell and I'm stuck here for every
Time I die said Kenny
261 I said
Huh asked Kenny
You died a total of 261 times I said
How do you know asked Kenny?
I counted every time I'm planning on making a journal so I will never forget your deaths so then we can talk about it more and I can maybe use you as a thesis I said
Kenny started to cry and he hugged me for a good 10 mins
Yeah sorry Kenny I said
Dude its cool you didn't mean to forget said Kenny
No I mint the boner I said
DUDE SICK said Kenny
Ha I'm gay bro you're holding me in your arms I said
Well whatever I can forgive my close friends for silly errors said Kenny
We talked for a good 7 hours till Satan showed up
Time's up said Satan
Oh really I have to leave already I said
You can stay but then you will die and never can go back to earth said Satan
Hmm hell or south park hell or South Park I said
Trust me south park is a little better option said Kenny
Why is that I asked
Stan said Kenny
Yeah well he will be fine I said
Bebe said Kenny
She has you plus I want to be here till you leave this god awful place I mean 10 hours equals 10 seconds you will be here for over a century I said
Nope and uhhhh tray said Kenny
…ok bye Satan I said
Kenny laughed trays a lucky guy
No I'm a lucky guy I said
Ha no you're the girl said Kenny
So what I don't want to be a girl because I like my dick I said
Yeah I like mine to said Kenny
So what do you mean you won't stay for century's I asked?
Cause I can manipulate time in hell for my own benefit said Kenny
Then why didn't you…
I can't effect your time only my time said Kenny
Oh I said
So yeah I'm going to make time in hell earth time so I can at least enjoy myself here said Kenny
…..make it into only seconds before you leave I said
Huh asked Kenny
I want to see you quick I said
No matter what we won't see each other the second I wake up said Kenny
I will I said I will remember this moment so yeah you're stuck us…
I then felt like my chest was exploding and then I heard a ringing noise
HES BREATHING yelled the doctor
KYLE! Screamed tray
Hess alive said Stan
Wendy and Bebe were in tears Bebe more in tears I guess she saw Kenny dead
I whispered to the doctor to see Bebe first when I wake up
12 hours later
I woke up and like I asked Bebe was right next to me
So what did you want asked Bebe
I saw Kenny I said
She cried
Why did he have to kill himself asked Bebe?
What time is it I asked?
Only 5 pm said Bebe
Don't worry Bebe just wait till tomorrow I'm sure sleeping it off will help I said
No it won't said Bebe
Why I asked
Don't tell Wendy said Bebe
Ok I said
I found out I might get pregnant said Bebe
HUH you haven't had sex in what 1 month I said
I forgot the pill said Bebe
Oh well the chances….
I missed my period and I never miss that said Bebe
Oh my god are you going to I asked
Abort it said Bebe
Keep it I asked
Yes said Bebe
WHAT I said
Yes its Kenny child so I will remember him through the baby said Bebe
Bebe left in tears out of the room
Kenny's going to be pissed I guess there's going to be another wedding I said to myself
Well let's hope you like the ring said tray
Tray entered with a little black box and got on 1 knee
My eyes went to tears
Kyle brofloski even before I met you I was in love with you because I watched you play basketball at least 5 times while you were in middle school said tray
Sniff stalk much I said with even more tears
I saw Stan outside with Wendy crying Bebe was there 2 but I think she was still upset about kenny mom and dad was there great now they are going to said gay marriage is immoral and we are going to hell has already been there it ain't better then here
And our relationship had a lot of tests and I believe we passed them and that the worst is over and if it gets worst then we will face it together so Kyle brofloski will you marry me said tray
Sniff sniff yes I will marry you I said
The ring was kind of cheap and it looked like it cost about 2 grand
You spent your car money I said
Yeah you are worth more than any car that I might want said tray
I lost it right there I cried so much that tray was in my arms as I cried in his shoulder
Tray left the room giving me Stan and Wendy
Ok now if I'm not the best man then we are going to have problems said Stan
I laughed yeah well you best get ready for court cause I'm not driving to California to get married we are going to legalize it here in Colorado I said
IM ON IT said Wendy running out of the room
Ha ha ha I said
Stan grabbed me and held me in his arms and cried harder than I thought he would
Ok dude it's getting kind of gay I said
I thought you had died I thought my best friend was dead but all you got was a busted lung and a broken arm Stan said in a sooty voice
Well I'm not dead I said
But Kenny is this is horrible he died because they thought you were dead its horrible said Stan
I know I know I herd the doctors say it a few hours ago plus I saw him and he wants us to live our lives normally and he's kicking himself for not waiting 10 seconds to see me wake up I said
So Kyle what's going to happen now said Stan
We are going to take life 1 day at a time till we all go to hell I said
Dude you don't know that said Stan
Where do you think I was the entire time I said?
End of chapter
Cliff hanger I love them sometimes so this story is going to focus on Bebe and Kenny and the fact they are having a baby it will range a total of 7 months and this is going to be my longest story because I'm adding a new P.O.V and that's Kenny and this story will be called
FROM HELL AND BACK AGAIN
Yeah I know lord of the rings reference big deal want to fight about it