A/N: Dialogue lifted directly from 3x13 "Thanks for the Memories."


"Why? Why do I belong here?"

"Think of The Barn as an amplifier for you: when you're in it, your energy keeps the Trouble at bay, but after twenty-seven years that energy starts to run out. Troubles start again. So you have to come out and recharge."

"Recharge? Recharge with what?"

"Love. It energizes you so you can go back into The Barn and stop the Troubles again."

"Am I even human?"

"Audrey," Howard admonishes, gently clasping her shoulders in his hands. "That's your problem. You're very, very human."

"So...so I'm Troubled then."

"No."

"Then why do I need to kill the man I love to end all this? Am I being punished?"

"It does seems that way. Yes"

"There's got to be another way."

"I'm sorry there's only two ways this ends: one stops the Trouble for twenty-seven years, the other -" he pauses for a moment, and Audrey desperately hopes he will miraculously give her a completely new option, "-forever."

But no, there is no reprieve. No other way except to kill Nathan.

She will be back in twenty-seven years; they both know that.

"We really should go now."

As if it is that simple. To him, it is.

"Wait." Please, wait. Wait until I can catch my breath. Wait until I can bear to let Nathan go. "I need to say goodbye."

The pity on Howard's face burns her as she turns to leave the hospital white corridor, the door opening to the world she doesn't want to leave behind. Her friends ring the meadow, but her attention is focused on the beloved grief-stricken face she's come to know so well. Even now, seconds counting down, he is trying to find a way to change their ending as if the power of love can subvert the will of the Universe. It pains her to see the hope and fear in those flame blue eyes, a man balancing on the precipice of madness. He will take the plunge and she wants to be his safety net, except soon she won't exist at all, leaving him alone once again. How he found the courage to love her despite the odds, against his very nature, she doesn't understand, but helplessly adores him for anyway.

Her words of farewell are exchanged with the others, the dread of leaving Nathan forcing her to ignore his hurt bewilderment. He's always praised her fighting nature, her desire to find a third option even when it doesn't exist, and she is heartsick at disappointing him in the most crucial situation they've faced.

And then there is only one.

The others have accepted it, even Duke, because self-preservation is paramount over even friendship or love. Audrey understands this and doesn't begrudge them their relief at the cessation of the Troubles. She feels lighter in a way because she knows the pain she has caused will be lifted; if she could find a way for it to be permanent that didn't end with Nathan dying in her arms, she would take it.

"Parker, if we - "

She kisses him, sweeps him into her arms and presses her lips to stop the words tumbling from his. She wishes his love was more selfish, that he only needed her because he could touch and feel with her, but Nathan Wuornos was placed on this earth to father her child and love her in two separate lifetimes. What other woman alive could say the same about her lover?

"No, this is not goodbye." He still protests, fights for her. For them. "Take me with you."

Howard returns his imploring gaze with the same implacable pity he subjected Audrey to and she wants to scream with anger. Heartbreak. This man. God, this man.

"No, Nathan. Nathan," she tugs at him until he shifts his attention back to her. "I won't be alone, alright? I will be with our son."

"I am gonna die before I let you go."

He will die. He would die.

"I know."

And just like that, a third option blooms in her mind.

"But you don't have to die, Nathan. I won't let you be the sacrifice when none of this is your fault. I love you," she finishes in a near whisper against his lips before she pulls his gun from his hip holster.

He's confused and everyone else has respectfully turned their backs to them, giving them the illusion of privacy though they can hear every word.

No one can stop her when she puts the gun to her head and pulls the trigger.