The Cost of Loving
A/N: A big thank you to Ciara ( pennysvalentine) for drowning me with drunk!Penny headcannons thus inspiring this fic- you are a blessing and your patience has payed off, so here you go !
It was a warm Friday evening, the sun was going down and the sky was painted muted shades of crimson and pink. A warm breeze blew and leaves danced across the empty streets outside Holby City hospital in which Jac Naylor sat, her hands wrapped around a cooling mug of decaffeinated green tea which she held close. She was all alone to appreciate the calm, early spring atmosphere for a few blissful moments, the fingertips of the outside wind gently tickling her neck and spine as she stood, leaning against the staff room counter. She swirled the tea once, twice, three times, then tipped her head back and took a generous sip of the bitter liquid. Usually she would opt for coffee as her go-to stimulant after an utterly draining shift, but with Donna's goodbye drinks on her social schedule, she figured, if she had to go at all, coffee perhaps wasn't the best side-order to the expected alcohol. In fact, she wouldn't be going at all, if it wasn't for a certain puppy-eyed junior doctor, whose endless nagging had driven Jac up the wall to the point where she had agreed to go just to spare herself a headache. If she had known the endearing redhead's insistent nags would just turn to excited chatter rather than silence on the topic, she might not have bothered. That way, she might still be drinking her coffee instead of the relatively tasteless substitute she had between her hands right now; she might still be looking forward to a quiet evening to herself instead of enduring a predictably noisy and alcohol-induced party she was supposed to be at.
She inhaled one last lungful of fresh air and downed the last of her beverage, rinsed the mug and put it to the side. Then her peace was broken by the sound of her phone buzzing. A text notification.
[From: Girl Valentine]
[20:38] wher e are u? ?
Rolling her eyes, Jac placed her phone into her pocket and picked up her bag from the windowsill. Buzz buzz. Another text.
[From: Girl Valentine]
[20:39] hte party bega n an 1 hr ago., you said u were finishing off n comign down hurry!
[From: Girl Valentine]
[20:39] i miss youuu
She made a start for the door, walking briskly, and then headed for the lift. Once inside, she reached for her phone again and began typing.
[To: Girl Valentine]
[20:40] I'm on my way now so you can stop texting me. Remember, nobody's supposed to know we're together. And don't drink too much; I don't want you passing out. J.
Jac typed the last sentence hesitantly, even though she knew she was probably a bit too late. If she knew Penny as well as she thought she did, the younger woman would already be rosy-cheeked, unstable on her own two feet and lacking a mouth filter. Now all she could do was hope she hadn't let anything slip yet...
Penny was right about one thing: by the time Jac arrived at Albie's a full eight minutes later, the party was in its full swing. Upbeat music blasted from the speakers loudly enough that she could feel every beat vibrating in her diaphragm as if someone was drumming on her chest with a large mallet. Apart from the lyrics of Dancing Queen echoing in her eardrums, she registered numerous voices, all shouting at once, trying to be overheard over the noise of feet shuffling and hands clapping and, of course, ABBA. However, none of these voices resembled Penny Valentine's. They seemed to all melt together to form a single mixture of incomprehensible sound. The hubbub was accompanied by a small crowd of familiar heads bobbing around and twirling in the middle of the room. Among them, in the far corner, she spotted Penny, swaying gently to the tune and holding a small glass of colourful liquid.
Jac let out a breath she didn't realise she had been holding.
With the problem of locating her little Valentine out of the way, Jac strode towards the bar. She ordered a hot red wine and climbed onto a stool, next to Sacha, Michael and their copse of tipsy surgical henchmen.
"Naylor! Fancy seeing you here," boomed Michael's unmistakable accent. "You're not a goodbye-party kind of girl," he stated quizzically, taking a gulp of definitely-not-his-first beer. The bartender arrived with Jac's wine; she thanked him, then returned to her conversation.
"No. I'm not." She flicked her wine glass with her fingernail, as if testing its note. "I am an occasional social drinker, though, Michael; I'm not a complete hermit. I don't see why you're so surprised," she said and raised the glass to her lips.
An hour and multiple refills later, Jac was finally feeling more relaxed. While it was true she didn't enjoy parties or large social gatherings, the alcohol felt exceptionally good in her system tonight.
"Ahh, I'm missing her already," sighed the American. Jac traced his gaze to Donna and Penny, the two of them leaning over the counter with their empty glasses, giggling away their last hours together.
"Hm, yes- no more steamy affairs in the staff room toilets, no more heart-eyed nurses to follow your every step, no more angry wives, jealous of your blossoming sex life. Shame. You might actually have to do some work now," Jac teased.
"Alright anti-Cupid, you've made your point."
"I hope she'll be happy with this new life, I really do," added a dazed Sacha, spinning his empty glass on the varnished, wooden surface. "They have already been through so much, and they've been together - how long? - three months?"
Jac pitched her head back and emptied the rest of the rich, red liquid into her mouth. She swallowed before speaking: "Sacha, you're making it sound like she's the one going to fight in Afghanistan now." The comment earned her dagger-like glares from both her companions. "Too soon?"
While she ordered another refill of her glass, promising herself it will be the last one, the two men pushed the conversation away from the doleful topic.
"How are things up on Darwin, with Hanssen's new registrar?" Michael pestered.
"Oh fine, Little Miss Perfect has had no problem settling in." Jac could feel the alcohol clouding her better judgement as she continued to rant about her new rival, ignoring the amused looks on her colleagues' faces. "She won her popularity by bribing the staff with cupcakes on the first day. Fantastic in theatre, of course, already in Hanssen's good books. She'll probably be awaiting a promotion in the next few months- or less, if she manages to bed the giant Swe-"
The conversation was interrupted as Penny Valentine stumbled towards them, humming her own version of the lyrics to Dancing Queen under her breath. Jac took her in: she wore a short red dress, low-cut and backless- the same one she had worn to the New Year's celebrations just last year. She looked radiant. Her hair was down in neat ginger ringlets, one side pinned back behind her ear, displaying her multiple piercings, the other framing her face. She planted herself onto the stool beside Jac, her dress riding up her thigh a little as she did so.
"...Dancing queeen... going to drink with Jacquelineeeoyeahhh..."
Penny Valentine was drunk and glassy eyed, and absolutely adorable, thought Jac before she could stop herself. Immediately, she replaced her previous blank expression with a signature frown. The plastic surgeon studied Jac, who was copiously trying to ignore the new arrival. He eyed her mischievously, as if to say Well, isn't this an interesting turnout?
Piss off, Spence, Jac's scowl replied.
"I'll have some of that wine please thank you," called Penny to the bartender, pointing a finger at Jac's glass. Jac instinctively moved it away.
Michael grinned, observing the pair intently.
"Mr Spence, Mr Levy!" Penny exclaimed in greeting. Sacha smiled and waved in reply while the American gave a nod in her direction. She twisted on her stool to face Jac.
"So I said goodbye to Donna- she's going back with Kieran now before it gets too late- and I thought I'd come over because I've got nothing better to do," she rambled. Michael and Sacha exchanged surprised glances. It was a well-known fact that Jac hated her F2s with a passion, and Penny had by far been her favourite to torment and terrorise, yet here they were with a perfectly civil Jac tolerating an overly friendly, off-her-face Penny.
The junior doctor continued, unfazed by the men's startled expressions. "Oliver's busy flirting with Daisha and I'd prefer not to vomit tonight- honestly, what is it with him and nurses- first Chrissie and now Daisha- anyway, Frieda couldn't come either so-" She looked down at her right hand and saw that there was another drink in it, half-full. She took a sip and placed the glass back down unsteadily, wine sloshing at the sides. She placed her elbow on the counter surface and rested her head on her palm, chestnut-brown eyes staring fixedly as Jac's face slowly began to resemble the same vivid shade of red as her hair.
"How much have you had to drink?" Jac questioned firmly, trying to maintain her cool composure. Penny beamed in answer, feigning innocence. "Forget I asked."
The intoxicated F2 lifted her free hand to tuck a strand of Jac's fiery hair back behind her ear. "You're really pretty..." she mumbled, words slurring and smile still stupidly plastered on her face.
Jac didn't move. In the background, she saw Sacha try to hold in a chuckle, pretending to cough instead.
"Y'know," Penny lowered her hand from Jac's lustrous hair to the woman's shoulder, where she kept it as she continued, "y'don't receive compliments nearly as often as you should- you're the best surgeon I have ever known- best broken heart fixer in the entire country methinks," she said, tapping her temple knowingly. "I mean, I'm no organ donor, but I'd gladly give you my heart."
Hearing Penny's flirtatious comment, Michael snorted, almost spitting out his drink as he burst into guffaws. The kid was practically digging her own grave! Jac shot him an icy glare.
"Shut up." She snapped at the American. "She's drunk."
"How'd'you figure that one out, Sherlock?" he chuckled, wiping the beer from around his mouth with a handkerchief. He smoothed his beard, satisfied, and replaced the clumsily folded square of fabric back inside his jacket.
"Pen-Valentine, it might be wise to put down the wine glass before you give yourself liver damage."
"And while I happen to be the best liver fixer in the country, I don't particularly want to be fixing yours any time soon," added Michael with a touch of his typical Spence sense of pride.
"Just this last glass Jac, I promise," whined Penny, dragging the glass closer to her protectively.
"First-name basis already?" Sacha observed. "Jac Naylor, you are a lady-killer. Both figuratively and literally." It was his turn to experience Jac's evil-eye boring deep into his skull- if looks could kill, he would no doubt be fifty feet under.
"You might want to add 'Sacha-killer' to that list soon," she muttered, taking out her phone to check the time- [23:16] appeared in chunky digits on the screen. She put it down in front of her. Crap, thought Jac, Penny was working tomorrow. If she couldn't get her home soon, the junior doctor was going to end up working with a merciless hangover, if she's able to work at all. She felt her girlfriend gently tugging on her sleeve and shuffling ever closer to her face, prying her attention away from bickering with her colleagues. "Can you look after my drink? I wanna go dance," she whispered.
"I don't think that's a good idea, with that much alcohol in you-" said Jac warily, slowly reaching over to take the glass from the younger woman's hand. Penny pulled the glass away.
"If you're gonna try'n steal my drink, I'll kiss you," she warned, her no-nonsense tone of voice was hard for Jac to take seriously considering the girl's lack of sobriety.
"We'll see about that, but for now you've definitely had enough." Jac chuckled and once again made an attempt for the glass. Penny's glare resembled that of a child's. In one swift movement she leaned over and pressed her lips to Jac's cheek, her hand clutching the consultant's thigh for balance. The kiss lasted a split second, but it was enough. Jac's face now almost matched her wine. Were Sacha and Michael watching? Did they see that? She spun her head round fast to check, almost falling off her seat in the process, and sure as hell, they did: Sacha's eyes had as good as popped out of their sockets and Michael's mouth formed a tight 'o' shape, both men seemed to have frozen on their stools.
"You were warned," sang the junior, taking back her beverage triumphantly.
"That's enough, Penny!" Jac exasperated, quickly regretting it. She looked around hoping no-one had heard her, admittedly loud, outburst. No such luck. While many of Sacha and Michael's beer-buddies had had the sense to go home and recover from the night of raucous fun, she saw Oliver, just a few meters from them, turn his head towards them in confusion. He looked between Penny and Jac, his expression growing more puzzled. Jac turned away. "You do realize you have work in the morning, don't you? And believe me, if you drink this wine right now, by the time you wake up tomorrow, I guarantee you'll be regretting it."
She seized the glass for the final time, sliding it across the surface over to Sacha and Michael, out of reach for the curly redhead. No sooner had she let go of the glass, she felt small hands on her face tugging her in the opposite direction.
Jac's lips, parted with surprise, met Penny's warm ones, and her hands landed on her hips, holding on tightly to steady her body. Her eyelids fluttered shut. She could taste the alcohol that lingered on Penny's lips and briefly wondered how the woman in front of her managed to be so much more intoxicating than any drink she had drank that night. Jac sighed into the kiss, distracted by the sweet strawberry scent of her hair as her fingers made their journey up the back of Penny's dress to the back of her bare neck, where they entangled themselves in her thick, ginger curls. Penny gently caressed her face as Jac relaxed as she kissed, her lips moving in sync with the younger doctor's, just as she heard a camera flash go off behind them.
Sudden realisation hit Jac like a truck. She froze, her body went rigid. She was kissing Penny Valentine in the middle of the bar, with an audience of ten? twenty? who knows- it was too many. The gears in her brain, however subdued they were by the drinks, began turning as she desperately tried to figure a way out of this situation.
She pulled away gently, running a hand through her long hair to tidy it and taking a moment to compose herself. Though the music continued to reverberate in every bone in her body, she heard the background chatter fading to a quiet hum. She looked up at Penny and saw the satisfaction painted on her face.
"Don't look so smug, you got your kiss but if you even think about drinking any more, you'll be paying for it." Jac's nonchalant words were the first to cut through the uneasy atmosphere. She slid off her stool and picked her mobile back up, sliding it back to the safety of her trouser pocket. "You forget that I have the authority to make your workload miserable tomorrow, Valentine. You're not getting out of this unscathed," she smirked.
Jac walked to the doorway of the pub as the chatter resumed, propping herself against the thick oak frame as she whipped her phone back out of her pocket and dialled a number. Her gaze never left Penny while she booked the taxi, reciting the address of her flat. The younger woman was too far for her to hear, but she could see her clearly enough, leaning in to listen to whatever Sacha was telling her- probably nothing to worry about, maybe one of his wittier remarks now that she was a safe distance away. Jac watched her as she began to laugh, shoulders shaking and little springs of hair bouncing as her face lit up with childlike delight. She finished the phonecall and at once hung up, ready to make her way back to her troop. She leisurely lifted herself back onto her stool and awaited the incoming interrogation.
"So," she could see the suspicious glimmer in Michael's eyes, "You and Pitstop?"
"What you just saw was a drunken F2 caving in to some drunken desires as a result of having too much to drink. Quite frankly, I could have dealt with the situation a bit more maturely than I did, but what's done is done and whether or not there's anything behind the scenes is both irrelevant and none of your business."
"Well, you're not denying it," he smirked. "I'll take that as a yes."
"So come on, how long?" Sacha joined in, enjoying the new turn to his otherwise ordinary Friday night. Jac audibly groaned, eager to let the discussion drop.
"I am not having this conversation," she announced, throwing a jacket over her shoulders. "I've booked a taxi and we're going home. It's late and Valentine's got an early shift tomorrow-"
"Long enough for the two of you to get all domestic with each other, memorising each other's work schedules, spending nights at each other's flats, maybe- I'd say a couple of months?" assumed the other man. Jac remained silent.
Penny nodded in confirmation, half-interested in the debate at hand but clearly more focused on draining the last dregs of wine from her glass, despite Jac's caution.
"Nice one, Naylor!" It wasn't often you'd see Jac Naylor lose her cool, and Michael Spence was loving every moment of it. "First the Byrne boys, now the Valentine siblings- you do like your happy families."
"Don't take it too far Michael, Jac the Nipper here looks ready to bite."
"Oh shut up, Sacha," hissed Jac. "Not a single word of this gets out to anyone-" she motioned to the two men, "-or I will personally have your heads served to me on a silver platter- both of them. Have I made myself clear?"
She didn't wait for them to react. "Good." She picked her handbag off the floor and moved to wait for her girlfriend outside.
"Don't worry, Penny." Sacha added jokingly. "I think you, for one, are safe." Penny laughed.
The younger woman stepped outside, goosebumps immediately appearing on the surface of her skin. She smiled as her hand found Jac's, fitting it perfectly like a jigsaw puzzle. Together they made their way to the black cab, already waiting for them on the side of the road, Penny's wobbling step steadied by Jac's unfaltering one.
Sure, she was going to regret having these drinks tomorrow, but for now, she was content with the fervent happiness being pumped through her veins. She felt cozy and warm, nestled against the woman she loved in the back of the dark car as it drove through the night.
And who knows- perhaps with enough coaxing, her loving boss and girlfriend will let her have the day off tomorrow.