"Oh, sweet cheese of mine…" sang Luigi as he played righteous riffs along his succulent red guitar.
Yoshi kicked the door to Luigi's room in and pulled out his gun and shot the roses in the porcelain vase.
Luigi set down his guitar and wept.
Mario walked in with a pan filled with collard greens. "I can see there are tears that escape mine brother's ducts. I ask why, brother?"
Luigi sniffled and then let loose his rampant green strand of nasal residue. It clung to the walls and he used it to slingshot himself into Bob-Omb Battlefield.
Mario gasped. Luigi was moments away from the sickest PB this side of Itchy Twitchy.
Yoshi snarled at the notion and took out his broomstick. He flew off to BOB to reduce Luigi's speedrun to nothingness.
However, Luigi had already Bomb-clipped successfully and was already working on Cannonless.
Yoshi used his magic marker to draw a Minecraft portal that landed him smackdab in Whomp's Fortress.
Luigi was now en route to Owless.
Yoshi took out his pistol and shot Luigi's hat off.
Luigi called upon his stand to destroy Yoshi's evil life.
Just then, Toad descended from the heavens and handed the two brilliantly dashing warriors a slice of pizza.
Luigi stuck the pizza in all at once. He felt the tangy flavour stick to the roof of his mouth like the La Brea Tar Pits.
Yoshi did a cool thing with his tongue and this made his tail explode. Yoshi's dead tail was buried in high school. Later that night, burglars stole the fallen dinosaur booty and sold it to Waluigi.
"Excellent," hummed Waluigi with so much sinister swag adourning his studly charisma. He ripped his shirt off to reveal his precious six-pack. "Excellent indeed!"
Luigi and Yoshi busted through the door and demanded immediate restitution. Waluigi just laughed at the foolish intruders' misfortune.
Luigi took out his Poltergust and used it to suck up Waluigi's golden sheriff's badge.
"Dang, my neat badge!" cried Waluigi.
Yoshi then did this sick breakdance and it wowed so many women. Now Yoshi had the right to gain many a chicky babe.
Waluigi hated with so much heart in his life. He exploded and Yoshi's booty landed upon the ground with a resounding thud. Yoshi ran up and retrieved his stinkin' butt behind.
"Knowledge is power!" said Luigi with his schnoz leaking the gruesome goo. He slipped on it as it reached his feet. Luigi fell and broke his eyelash.
Luigi's eyelash was buried in the shade of the old apple tree. Everyone came to the funeral and wept until their eyes refused further dispelling of the salty fluids.
Luigi was dressed like a winner in his hunky tuxedo that showed off his formidable biceps. "I am glad that I invested in the sleeveless apparel," said he.
Daisy saw Luigi's impressive wings and drew near. She decided to give him a diamond ring and they wed.
Yoshi was the best fella. He did a good deed to the cake, preparing it with olives and anchovies.
"I can see it now…" rasped Luigi to the future generations. "Three grapes…"
FIN