This story is based on the song "RUN" by Matt Nathanson and Sugarland. All characters belong to Janet Evanovich. Although it's very mild, there is some language and sexual content. Any mistakes are mine.
I'd been in the wind for last last four weeks. Getting back to Trenton as quickly as possible had become my goal since I'd finished my latest, and last,'assignment.' Tank didn't know I was home, and my bags were still in the truck, but I had no intention of stopping at Rangeman first. There was only one place I wanted to be. And only one person I wanted to see. The past few weeks have been torture for me. And not for the usual reasons. Being away from Stephanie had been the hardest part of this trip. I've missed her in the past when I've had to go out of town, but never to this extent. And now the only thing that mattered to me was seeing her to reassure myself that she was safe. I would have been contacted immediately if something had happened to her, but I had to see with my own eyes that she was all right.
I knew that Steph and Morelli were on-again when I left but, right now, I didn't care. Wrapping my arms around my (to hell with Morelli) Babe was the only thing that mattered. I did, however, take a moment to scan the lot of Steph's apartment building for Morelli's truck. I wasn't avoiding a confrontation, in fact I'd probably welcome one, but I didn't want to upset Steph. And letting myself into her apartment while Morelli was there would have definitely upset her.
I knew that she loved him, but it was the safe kind of love. She thought Morelli was her last chance at the happily-ever-after that every Burg girl dreams of. Well, every girl but Stephanie. She would never be happy with that kind of life and she knew it, but she's still afraid to break it off completely. There's no doubt in my mind that if I took back all of the qualifiers that I've said to her in the past I'd be able to convince her that a relationship could work between us, and Morelli would be left in the dust.
Thankfully I didn't see Morelli's 4x4 in the lot only Steph's latest POS, and I felt myself relax for the first time in weeks. I'd be able to see her in a matter of minutes. I closed the drivers-side door, and walked silently across the pavement to the lobby of her building. I could feel my heartbeat speed up, only a few more minutes and I'd be inside her apartment. I took the stairs two at a time, and seconds later let myself in.
The apartment was dark. Since the last time I'd checked my watch it was a little after two o'clock in the morning, I'd have been worried if it wasn't. I made no noise as I headed straight for the bedroom. I paused at her doorway and just stood looking in at her. She was on her side facing me. Her hair was spread out over her pillow, and the T-shirt she had worn to bed had ridden up her legs as she slept. I think my fast beating heart suddenly stopped while I watched her. Her laying there looking so fucking beautiful and four weeks worth of missing her was a dangerous combination.
I stepped into the room and a moment later I was looking right into the blue eyes that I'd been fantasizing about since that day at the diner. Judging by the way her hand went to her neck, she must have sensed that I was there. That was another thing that I had never wanted to examine too closely, how we always knew when the other one was near. And I didn't have a chance to examine it tonight, because once Steph realized that it was really me standing there, and she wasn't imagining it, she flew across the room and into my arms. I caught her weight easily, and immediately wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as possible. I felt something damp against my neck and leaned back a little to look down at her.
"Steph?" I said, when I noticed more tears running down her face.
"You're really here?" She asked me."And you're okay?"
I nodded my head to both questions, and pulled her back to me.
I heard her whisper 'I missed you' against my T-shirt and did the only thing I could. I cupped her face in my hands and lowered my lips to hers.
She never hesitated. She kissed me back as if she'd missed me as much as I'd missed her. And when my hands released her face to slide under her T-shirt, she didn't stop me. A better man would have waited until she'd handled the Morelli thing once and for all, but now that I had her right where I wanted her I had no plans of backing off.
As soon as my hand brushed her breast, she broke from the kiss and blinked up at me. I could see the question in her eyes, but I didn't have the words to explain what I was feeling. We just stood there an inch apart, our eyes locked, for a long moment. Just when I was afraid she'd pull away from me she took a step back and I watched as her hands went to the hem of her T-shirt slowly pulling it over her head.
I wanna watch you undress
I wanna watch you glow
Let your hair down
All around, cover us both
You come in waves
We crash and we roll
You surround me, pull me, drown me, then swallow me whole
You turn, turn, turn, turning me on
Like a slow fire burn
Know that it's wrong
Still I run, run, run, run right into you
Yeah, I run, run, run, run right into you
I hadn't been sleeping well for the last few weeks. Since Ranger had said goodbye, I haven't heard a peep out of anyone about him. I was fairly certain that if something had gone wrong Tank would have told me, but I wasn't a hundred percent sure. That's why I'd been spending more and more nights in my apartment. Joe needed sleep after working double shifts and my tossing and turning was getting to him. And it didn't help that after repeatedly asking what was wrong, I still haven't told him. How could I? I doubt he'd be happy to hear that I couldn't stop thinking about Ranger. Wondering if he was alive, hurt, or missing me just a little. It wouldn't be good for our relationship. Not that much was anymore.
I realized that something was different this time. Usually when Ranger has to leave I miss him, that goes without saying, but not with this almost mind numbing ache that wouldn't go away. If I thought my life was complicated before, now I had an even bigger problem. If, no when, Ranger came home, how could I possibly keep my distance from him? I knew I loved him, but I never said the words out loud. I didn't think he'd appreciate me saying them any more than Joe would. But just because I haven't said them doesn't mean that I didn't feel them. And right now I couldn't shake this need to see Ranger, to run my hands over his body to make sure he was in one piece, or to just hold him while he slept.
I've loved Joe pretty much my whole life, but I've never felt this overwhelming need to protect him like I do Ranger. I knew without a doubt that Ranger could take care of himself, but I wanted to help him in any way that I could. Shit! I was in deeper than I thought. I knew I had a choice to make. Stay with Joe, probably marry him if he still wanted me to, or finally let him go and get over my fears of telling Ranger how I feel. And then probably have to fight like hell for what we could have together. Ranger was possibly the only person in the world worse than I am at discussing their feelings. Thinking about that, and knowing that I had to make a decision, was what had kept me up most of the night.
I'd finally fallen into a fitfull sleep around one-thirty only to be woken up a half hour later to a familiar tingling on the back of my neck. I put my hand to my neck, and looked across the room at the shadowy figure leaning against the frame of my bedroom door. It couldn't be, I thought. Could it? After a couple of seconds when he hadn't disappeared on me, I lept out of bed and shot across the room to him.
You pull me in close
You buckle my knees
I shake, and I shiver, just to feel you breathe
You trace my lines
(I trace your lines)
Stirring my soul
Shoot sparks at the heart of the world and I watch it explode
(I watch you, I watch you)
You turn, turn, turn, turning me on
Like a slow fire burn
Know that it's wrong
Still I run, run, run, run right into you
When I finally forced myself to lift my arm from where it was around Steph's waist to look at my watch, I could tell we didn't have much time left. Either Tank would call asking where the hell I was, or Morelli would show up before heading to the station. I didn't want anything, or anyone, intruding on our time together. We barely got any sleep, one of us repeatedly waking the other during the night. We couldn't seem to keep our hands off each other. I think we were both having the same thought. That this might be the only chance we'd have to be together. We'd had one perfect night before this, but that's all it turned out to be. One night. I didn't want last night to turn into the same.
I slid out of bed and started getting dressed. We needed to talk and there was no way I could do that if we were both naked. When I was finished Steph still hadn't moved, so I went into the living room to leave a message for Tank. I couldn't do anything about Morelli, but at least I knew I wouldn't have to deal with Tank until I was ready to. After I hung up I was deciding between waking Steph up, or just enjoying this feeling of rightness a little longer until she woke up on her own.
People have commented on the obvious attraction Steph and I have for one another, but when we're together I'm surprised sparks don't fly. We're definitely two seperate people, but put us near each other and you can almost hear the missing pieces click into place. Both complimenting the best parts of the other. Just looking at Steph relaxes me, makes me remember parts of myself that I had thought died a long time ago. She makes me an easier person to be around. And I've noticed that Steph seems to gather strength from just my presence. Not that she wasn't strong on her own, but sometimes she needed a little confidence boost. And I'm the guy she looks to to give her one. I also can calm her down when nothing else will. When she's ready to go figuratively, or literally, for someone's balls, just my hand on her shoulder can make her take a deep breath and get her anger under control. There was no doubt. We needed each other. And in more ways than one.
I'm amazing
When you're beside me
I am so much more
I was staring out her living room window contemplating this when I felt Steph's arms circle my waist drawing my attention to her. I looked into her upturned face trying to get a handle on what she was thinking. Usually she's an open book, but this particular morning she wasn't giving anything away. I don't know what I'll do if she decides to stay with Morelli. I kept reliving last night, technically this morning, over and over again and I knew that there was no way that I could let her go this time. Killing Morelli wasn't the best option, but I wasn't above considering it. After all, I know a number of ways to dispose of a body.
The right side of the bed was empty when I woke up. I hadn't really thought things would be different this time, but boy had I hoped. I pushed the hurt aside, and climbed out of bed, pulling my T-shirt back over my head. If Ranger was able to walk away from our night together, than I would have to let him. Okay, that's what I was telling myself, but even I didn't believe it. I knew what I wanted, who I wanted, and that was only reinforced when I walked into the living room and saw Ranger mindlessly staring out the window. Ranger didn't do mindless activities. He was always calm, controlled, and in charge. But he wasn't this morning, and my mood brightened instantly.
I walked over to him and slid my arms around him, praying he wouldn't pull away. He didn't. He just looked into my eyes and tightened his hold on me, his hands firm on my waist. I didn't know about him, but I wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. Memories of how his hands, and his mouth, felt on me were enough to make me wonder if surgically removing me from his side was going to be his only option if he wanted things to go back to the way they were. I knew a relationship with Batman wouldn't be without it's issues, but I didn't want to be without him. He makes my life better. He makes me better. And I didn't want to give him up. I knew, deep down, that if he had to leave again, I could handle it as long as I knew he was coming back to me.
And I feel your fingers
Pound like thunder
I am so much more
(So much more)
"Babe," I asked."What are thinking?" He asked after noticing the smile on my face that wouldn't go away.
"What," I said to Ranger,"like you don't already know?"
Her smile grew wider, and I felt an answering one form on my lips. I wasn't about to tell her that I haven't got a clue as to what was going on in her mind."Am I going to be happy about it?" I finally asked her.
My smile faltered. Ranger lips were smiling, but I couldn't tell the emotion behind it. On the up side, he wasn't running out the door. That was good, right?. And he seemed to be pretty happy about me being in his arms.
I took a deep breath before I answering."I think so."
Steph wasn't being all that helpful so I said the one word that would tell me what I wanted to know."Morelli?" I asked, my eyebrow raised waiting for her answer. I wasn't holding my breath, but I don't think I was breathing normally, either.
"I've been thinking about that," I said to Ranger."About Joe, about us ..." I started to say.
"And?"
"I haven't been fair to either one of you. And that has to change," I told him.
"What are you saying, Stephanie?"
Jeez, I thought to myself, he's using my name, that was a sure sign that he was getting impatient. Might as well put him out of his misery."I have to break things off with Joe for good," I said.
Fuck. Maybe I had been holding my breath after all."Because of us, Babe?"
"Partly," I told him."But also because he wants something that I'll never be able to give him. And it's not fair of me to stand in his way of getting it."
Looks like Steph had packed her bags and moved out of denial-land."What did you decide about us?" I asked her.
"That depends."
"On what?" I couldn't see what there was to decide. For me, from the second Steph said that she was calling it quits with Morelli we were together. Steph and I. For good. End of discussion. Apparently she didn't agree with me.
"On your feelings towards me," I told him, truthfully. I hated talking about my feelings, but this was too important to try to hide them. I was going to lay my heart out on the line here, but I wasn't about to get used, either. I took a deep breath and jumped off the proverbial cliff."Do you love me?" I asked him."I mean really love me, like I love you? Not as the occasional bedmate. Not the I-don't-want-you-to-get-blown-up, you're-fun-to-have-around kind of love. I mean honest to goodness I-can't-live-one-more-minute-without-you kind of love. Like I have for you?"
Damn. It's like she heard the conversation I had with myself on the way over here last night. I was prepared to take point in this conversation, but Steph surprised me for the second time in the last twenty-four hours. First, by not hitting the brakes when my hands were under her shirt last night. And now by actually telling me without any guilt, or fear, that she loved me. I already knew that she did, but I wasn't expecting her to be the one to lay everything out like that. That only made me love her more. That she was willing to chance getting hurt just to be sure about what I was feeling. There would be no more games between us. I was so close to getting everything I've ever wanted, I wasn't about to screw it up again.
I answered her with my usual one word sentence. Hell, I didn't need more than one word."Yes." I told her. I saw the dazed look in her eye and I knew what was coming.
"Do you really mean it?" I asked Ranger. I wanted more than anything to believe him, but I needed to hear him say it.
I didn't have the perfect speech planned out, but I didn't need one. I just repeated everything that I had said to myself over the last few weeks."Steph, you know I love you," I said."
"But?"
"No buts this time, Babe," I told her, my face serious."The whole time I was gone, all I could think about was you. I wanted to know what you were doing. If you were okay. If you'd come to your senses and finally dumped Morelli. If you were thinking about me.''
"I was," I told Ranger."Thinking about you, I mean. I couldn't sleep not knowing if you were in trouble, or hurt ..."
"Tank would have called you, Steph."
"I know, but I wanted to hear your voice." I said."Something was different this time when you went away. Maybe it was the lack of sleep, or the constant worrying, or just the fact that I wasn't denying my feelings for you anymore, but I knew that I wanted to be the one that you contacted. To hear you telling me that everything was going good, that you'd come home to me soon, but I knew I didn't have the right ... yet."
This was going better than I had hoped. I thought I'd have to convince Stephanie to give me a chance after all the no relationship bullshit I'd thrown at her over the last couple years, but it seemed she was one step ahead of me."Yet, Babe?"
I could feel my face heating. You'd think I wouldn't have the need to blush after having my body exposed to him last night, and my emotions this morning, but turns out I still had some embarrassment left."If you wanted me to, that is," I told him.
"Babe, nothing would make me happier."
Then it happened. My words sunk in, and Steph gave me a look so filled with hope, and love, that I wanted to throw her over my shoulder and carry her back to the bedroom. Hell, now that I thougth about it that wasn't such a bad idea. But first things first.
"Is there a chance Morelli will show up?" I asked her.
A sigh escaped before I could stop it."No. He's working overtime," I told Ranger."I'll have to talk to him between shifts. I hate to do this to him. He hasn't done anything wrong."
"I know, Babe," I said as gently as I could,"but he has to know. And the sooner the better, because I don't plan on sharing."
"I wasn't asking you to."
Okay now that that was settled.
"Ranger! What are you doing?" I asked him from my now upside-down postion, although I pretty much knew. And I was definitely all for it. I wasn't looking forward to tonight's conversation with Joe, but I wasn't going to ruin this moment by dwelling on it.
"I'm sealing the deal, Babe," I told her, as I walked towards the bedroom.
"Deal?" I asked him."We haven't had all that much luck with deals in the past, Ranger, remember?"
"Oh, I remember every part of our deal. And I think some good things did come out of it."
Ranger set me on my feet next to the bed."Oh yeah, like what?" I asked him.
He lowered his head to mine, and brushed his lips lightly across my mouth."Like knowing how good your skin feels against mine," I told her, sliding my lips along her jaw to her ear."Like how your breath catches when my mouth brushes your ear like this."
At his words, I felt myself melt in to a puddle of Ranger induced mush."What else?" I asked him, a little breathlessly.
"Seeing your eyes darken with desire when I start kissing you right here," I said, gently sucking the delicate skin where her neck met her shoulder into my mouth.
My knees almost gave out from the contact."Ranger?"
Ranger lifted his head from my neck and look at me."Yeah, Babe."
"I never thought I'd say this to you, but you can stop talking now."
Turn, turn, turn, turning me on
Like a slow fire burn
Know that it's wrong
Still I run, run, run, run right into you
Yeah, I run, run, run, run right into you
Turn, turn, turn, turning me on
Like a slow fire burn
Know that it's wrong
Yeah, I run, run, run, run right into you
Still, I run, run, run, run right back to you
Ranger peeled my T-shirt off and shed his clothes before lowering me onto the bed. He followed me down, curling his fingers around mine, and covered my body completely with his.
Turning me on ...
Like a slow fire burn ...