A/N: Not much to say. Rest in peace, Bloodwing.
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Lilith had been looking everywhere for him, and now it was dark. There had been plenty of deaths since Hyperion began its assault on Pandora, but not like this. After all the five of them had survived together, to lose one of their own like this...it was something they all secretly expected to happen sooner or later, but she hadn't been prepared. Hearing the whole nightmarish scene play out over her ECHO had struck her silent for hours with shock.
Eventually she'd found herself on the balcony with Roland, where they began sharing stories of their fallen comrade. Lilith would have given anything to have known that Mordecai was just behind the wall, listening. The pain in his voice as he'd shouted at them was like a slap to the face. He'd disappeared not long after that, and she'd been looking for him ever since.
"Roland." She said, coming up behind the soldier. "Do you know where Mordecai is?"
Roland looked up from his battle plans, rubbing his face. There were stress lines that Lilith had never noticed before, and had he ever looked quite so tired?
"Huh?" his mind was still on the plans. "Oh, right. One of the vault hunters thought they saw someone on the roof. It was probably him."
"The roof? Why the hell is he on the roof? He shouldn't be alone!"
"Lilith, if you've got time to go hang out on the goddamn roof with him, go do it. Someone has to lead the resistance, and right now that's my job. If you don't mind, I'm trying to do it."
"Asshole," she muttered, turning around angrily. Roland didn't respond.
Times like this reminded her why their relationship had never worked. The attraction was there, and they'd had a lot of fun sometimes, but ultimately their personalities were always set up to clash. Roland cared about the people of Pandora as a whole, but never seemed to have time anymore to consider individuals. Even old friends, it seemed.
She gingerly stepped onto the awning from the balcony. The angle was steep, and the thought of Mordecai climbing around up here while drunk chilled her. She made the short jump to the roof itself and carefully climbed upward. Before long she was as high as she could go, and she looked for the man.
"Mordecai?" she called, to no response.
She tried again. "Mordecai?"
A soft grunt answered her, and she turned in the direction it had come from. The hunter was wedged in the valley of two roof peaks next to a pile of empty bottles. His goggles were off and he lay on his back with feet propped on the opposite peak as he stared up at the stars. From his angle the omnipresent Hyperion moon base was nowhere to be seen.
Lilith made her way over to him and sat down to his left, the side without all the bottles. He didn't look at her but kept staring upward.
"What are you doing up here, Mordecai?" she asked, putting her hand on his shoulder.
He tilted his head to rest on her hand.
"Sittin'."
"Yeah, I see that. But why here? Haven't you been drinking a little much to be up here?"
"Dun matter. I c'n handle it."
Lilith sighed. She didn't want to start anything with him. Not now.
"Why're you here?"
"I've been worried about you. I don't know how you-" Mordecai cut her off.
"Sweet. Yer always sweet, Lil. Killin' an carin', thas you."
She'd never seen him so drunk. Normally it was hard to tell unless you knew him, but tonight was different. She couldn't really blame him though, not this time. She eased her hand out from where his head had it pinned and linked arms, lying close next to him. To her surprise, he took her hand.
"I keep thinkin'. I keep thinkin' tha, y'know…"
"What?"
"Tha mebbe if I keep lookin' out she'll come flyin' back."
Lilith swallowed and blinked against the sudden tears that blurred her vision. She didn't know what to say, or even if anything could be said. Somehow, Mordecai's simple wish spoke more about his grief than anything else ever could. In lieu of response, she squeezed his hand, hoping it would be enough.
"Not gonna happen, issit Lil?"
"I'm so sorry, Mordy."
He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head violently.
"Why'd it hafta be Bloodwing, huh? Why'd he hafta kill my bird?"
Lilith turned to her side so that she could put her free arm around him. He released her hand and turned toward her. She could see the tears in his eyes.
"What'm I gonna do?" he asked plaintively.
"I don't know. But we're all here for you, and we're going to take that bastard down, I promise."
She drew the hunter closer to her, letting him put his head on her chest to cry silently. She extricated the half-finished bottle from his hand and let it drop with a clink onto the pile. Lilith thought back to the years she'd shared with this man. When they first met, he was aloof and cold, the perfect image of a deadly sniper. As time passed and the vault hunters became friends, she'd grown to appreciate his sarcastic humor and infectious laughter. Something had happened a few years back to make him start drinking, but Bloodwing had always been his rock.
With the bird gone, she feared for her friend. Certainly, she never expected to be in a position like this, holding him as he cried. He'd always seemed so strong. This was a side of him she'd never seen, never suspected existed. The thought had hardly crossed her mind before she realized how childish her vision of Mordecai had been.
This was a man who wasn't afraid to show the world how much he loved his feathered companion, no matter what derision it brought him. He was a man that killed without thought, but helped his friends with the same lack of reservation. How had she thought that he was above this kind of emotional response?
She held him tighter as his body shook against hers. She tried to stay strong for him, but tears coursed down her cheeks. She cried not only for Bloodwing and Mordecai, but for all of them. They'd come to this planet as strangers seeking fortune, but had gained a new home and a new life instead. Now they were risking everything to protect it. Bloodwing was the first of them to fall, but in her heart Lilith knew she wouldn't be the last.
After what seemed like hours, Mordecai's tears finally stopped. He pulled away, wiping clumsily at the sodden mess of her shirt. Lilith caught his hand and shook her head.
"Sorry, Lil."
"No, don't be. Don't ever be."
"Her and me, she was m' famly. Get so lonely alone but we had e'chother."
"I know."
"No, y'don't know!" Mordecai said loudly, suddenly angry. "You had Rol'nd. I never had nobody but Blood. I never had you."
Lilith's mouth fell open. She should have been surprised, but somehow she wasn't. Maybe it was seeing him like this, devastated and vulnerable. Maybe it was something part of her had known all along.
"Sorry. 'M sorry. I din't say that." He shook his head as if trying to clear it.
"Good luck with that," Lilith said to herself, thinking of the booze pile.
She gently put her hand on his tear streaked cheek.
"You can say whatever you want to me, okay? I'm sorry I didn't know."
The pain in his eyes was almost unbearable as he looked at her.
"Don' leave me alone t'night. Please Lil."
"I won't." she wiped at his tears with her thumb. "Can we come down off the roof now?"
"Too hard."
"Try not to freak out," Lilith warned, taking a piece of Eridium out of her pocket.
Had the hunter been any less inebriated he may not have taken the trip through planes as well as he did, but as it was he barely noticed that Lilith had phased them into her small rented bedroom. She'd even managed to land on the bed, which would have been cause for gloating under different circumstances. It didn't even cross her mind.
"Where y' goin'?" Mordecai asked when Lilith swung her legs to the floor and stood.
"Shh, Mordy. I'm not going anywhere, I'm just taking your boots off, okay?"
He made what she took as an affirmative noise and she did so, dropping them to the floor at the foot of the bed. After removing her own, she climbed onto the bed next to Mordecai, who had passed out. She looked at him with a sigh.
"At least I got you off the damn roof first," she thought.
Before long, Lilith was sleeping, haunted by dreams of explosions and death. When she awoke, it was already late in the day and she was alone. There was a note on the pillow next to her and she picked it up, immediately recognizing the cramped handwriting as Mordecai's.
Lilith, you are a true friend. Thank you for caring. M.
"Always," she whispered. No matter what, Handsome Jack was going to pay.
