Once time a young warlock called Merlin, who was sexy and Irish, was fast asleep when suddenly on gianormus howling sound coming from the room to his. The sound was that of the mouse eating a huge chocolate chip cookie, very tasty thank you greatly. Merlin cried
"You, mouse, be gone and leave my cookies alone"
The mouse went back to its mistress Claire but not before telling Merlin his hand cream was tasty.
"Crap" screamed Merlin. He was very late for waking his master and crush, Prince Arthur up. He couldn't be late Arthur would kill him. Merlin stumbled out of the room to put them accompanied by his boots. Half way to Arthur's chambers Merlin realisation came across him,
"Shit" he mumbled "I forgot my scarf"
"Do not worry!" a voice said from nearby. "I will save the day!"
Arthur jumped out wearing his Y-fonts over his trousers.
"Erma, you are strange, yes?" said a grinning Merlin whilst everyone rolled their eyes.
Meanwhile Gaius and Uther were grooving to some tunes and so they did not notice.
"Erm, Arthur darling" said Merlin kindly.
"Yes my honey munchkin" Arthur replied excitedly.
"I think that you need some help getting dressed, erm, make that a lot of help getting dressed "said Merlin. "Come on lets go to you chambers ;)"
Then they went to Arthur's chambers. Merlin was worried about Arthur
"He's probably been on the Guinness again" he muttered.
Merlin's boots followed behind them skipping along to a merry tune.
Unfortunately, there was someone already in Arthur's chambers (insert horrified gasp here) was a ... Morgana and she was halfway through eating one of Merlin's scarves.
"Ahh that's where my scarf went" muttered Merlin.
Gwen was trying to make Morgana stop but Morgana growled angrily and refused to move.
"I am Sorry, OH princely arsed one," said Gwen. "But she just does not move"
"Grr," Morgana went, and went back to savagely nomming the scarf.
"Be gone "cried Arthur" humde wellerny jamdey randt rooarahh"
"Erm Arthur" said Merlin" was that magic?!"
"No" cried Arthur "this is magic" and kissed Merlin.
Merlin was completely and utterly flabbergasted by this as was Gwen, who had always thought that Arthur loved her. Morgana went moo. (We, the authors, do worry about her sometimes.)
Gwen promptly fainted. Arthur kissed Merlin again and then once again on his nose.
"Oh dear," Gwen said, tiredly. "Maybe now I get Gaius." And she left the room. Merlin looked at Morgana, who shrugged and went back to devouring a scarf in a destructive sort of way
"Great" he said sarcastically.
Somewhere far away on the burden of frogs burst into a great rendition of Wicked until fat woman swept them all away with dustpan and brush
Meanwhile Uther and Uncle Gaius were partying hard to Dizzee Rascal. Uther had his UV glow trousers on and Gaius was wearing his party pony hat. They were both covered in glow sticks.
Meanwhile again
Morgan snapped out of the scarf eating frenzy to find Merlin and Arthur doing something odd. Let's just say it involved a stop watch.
THE END
The world exploded and Merlin and Arthur didn't notice.
PS. The mouse back to a mistress Claire in cave with red furniture and received many cookies as a reward for making the plan Merthur pie in action.
PPS. Of course, Morgana was in on the whole thing. She's awesome like that...
PPPS ... If slightly obsessed with scarves.
PPPPS well only Merlin's scarves.