I don't own DGM
Everything changes, when I made the wrong move.
Lost
That day I hit Lavi. Wrong move. I activate my Innocence. Wrong move. I tried to kill him. Wrong move. Kanda stopped me. He shield Lavi with his body, I hate Lavi.
I love him, Kanda Yuu, but the bookman junior was always by his side. Envy. That bookman junior didn't get slice into pieces when he laughs at the samurai. Envy. Kanda accepted his birthday gift from the bookman junior but he refuses to accept my gift. Envy.
He broke my heart during last mission. Three of us came across to a gang of akumas during our way back. Lavi and my legs as been frozen by one akuma when the others shoot the akuma's virus towards us. Kanda shield Lavi, but I'm shot. Heart break. Even do I can recover from the virus, but Kanda had shield Lavi without thinking. Heart break. He doesn't care about me. Heart break.
For the first time…
…I…hate Lavi.
I made my wrong move at Christmas. I saw Lavi kissed Kanda. My vision turned red, when I realize, Lavi was shield by Kanda. In front of me. Everyone saw looking at us. My hand covered with blood. Lavi's blood. Lavi, hurt and lifeless.
I hurt him.
I ruined our relationship. My fault. I hurt my best friend. My fault. I had made everyone turn their backs against me. My fault. I lost a place that I can call as a 'home'. My fault. I betrayed my family. It's all … my fault.
Since that incident, everyone had change. They hardly smile at me. Their expression change when I tried to joined their conversation. They… the exorcist won't even train with me. Only…only him…
Only…Lavi…stay by my side, smile at me, give me courage, train with me…forgive me…even do I hurt him the most.
"Lenalee! Lenalee!" I called the girl's name. "Yes? Allen-kun?" although she was smiling, she avoid looking into my eyes. "Lenalee, can you believe me? Please. I really didn't mean to hurt Lavi. Can you believe me?" She is a kind girl, and she would believe me. Wrong. "I'm sorry, Allen-kun. But the aura …you really mean to hurt him." She will believe me. Wrong. She won't accuse me. Wrong. She wouldn't think like others. Wrong.
"Kanda! Kanda!" the man I love. "What?" He snarls at me. "Kanda, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt him. Kanda. Please believe me." "Is that all you want to said?" Mugen inches from my neck. "Hurt him one more time and I will make you die in agony." Numb. Cold eyes. Numb. Harsh words. Numb. My hands won't feel anything. My legs as if they had gone.
"Allen-kun, this is your mission." Komui hand me a folder. He's like others. Won't look at me, won't talk to me. Numb. I can't feel anything. I look outside the window. It's going to December. Christmas's near. Can I come back?
"I'm leaving." No respond. They don't say be careful to me as the usually do. No finders, no little communicate robots (Timpcapy with Cross). No one. Nobody's saying good bye to me. Are they not welcoming me back to this home?
"Goodbye."
Snow's falling when Allen was not here. Christmas decoration had hung up, presents had prepared for Christmas.
Beep beep…
"Hello? Lavi's here."
"…La…vi?"
"Allen?"
"Lavi. had…had…Lenalee or others talk about…me?"
"No…Why?"
"NOTh…ing…"
Hung up the phone, Allen curl into a ball. Snow's falling. It's cold. It's going Christmas. Everywhere is bustling with noise and excitement, but his room is cold and lonely. Where can I go?
Tears falling down. Bitter. Heart is hurting. Frozen.
I've lost my way home…I can't find the way back…
The day before Christmas Eve:
Beep beep…
"Hello? Lavi's speaking."
"…"
"Hello?"
"…"
"Hello?"
"L…Lavi…"
"Allen?"
"I…I want…to go back…I'm so sorry…"
"Allen? Are you crying?"
"I'm very cold…go back…"
I want to …
…go back.
"Allen!"
"Beep…beep"
Lavi stunted, he had hung up. He thought about the white-haired boy, alone and crying by the roadside. He rushes out his warm room. The first person he met was Lenalee.
"Lenalee!" "Ah! Lavi, how are you?" Lenalee ask but Lavi grabbed her hand. "Lavi?" "Just forgive him, Lenalee. Please just forgive him." "Who?" "Allen." Lenalee's smile fades. "Lavi, its Allen-kun who hurt…" "JUST FORGIVE HIM!HIS CRYING WHEN HE CALLED ME! ASKING FOR FORGIVENESS! TOO AFRAID TO COME BACK TO THE WARMTH HE HAS LOST!"
Allen was walking on the road. Christmas Eve's tomorrow. "Why are you here in this moment young boy?" Allen turned and met an old woman. "I lost my way home." Allen smiled bitterly.
Lost my way home…
Allen walked back to the public telephone, and dialed a trail of number.
Beep…beep…
"Hello?"
"Snow…"
"Allen?"
"Beep…beep"
Snow's falling, it is beautiful
Christmas Eve.
Lavi was worried, Allen hasn't called him yet. He had told everyone about Allen's phone call and everyone had decided to forgive him. If Allen knows this, he can come back to the Dark Order. Place with warmth.
Beep…beep…
"Hello!Allen?"
"…Merry…"
"Allen?"
"Merry Christmas…"
The clock had struck at 12, it's Christmas.
"Allen!ALLEN!"
"Beep…beep…"
"Lavi!" Lenalee slam his door open. "One finder had seen Allen in the town." Lavi jumped out of his bed and rush out. They really must bring this lost boy back home.
Allen hung up the phone and walk away. Every house was decorated with ribbons and decorations of Christmas. Children were unwrapping presents. Adults were drinking wine and celebrating the festival. He's hungry. But he had spent up all his savings since the order won't let him had any expenses.
Maybe I can find some food in the trash can. He thought as he walks towards the dark lane. "ALLEN!Where are you?"Lavi and Lenalee shout as they walk around the town. Allen, who was busying eating the leftover food, frozen.
"Allen!" Lavi, who had accidently found the boy, tried to walk towards him. "NOOOOOOooooooo!" Allen screamed and rushes out the lane. "Wait! Allen!" Lavi tried to grab him but he's too fast. Allen run until he is near the station when something black stop him, with a recognizable trademark-Mugen.
"Kanda." Allen stammered. "Where you think you are going? Moyashi?" Kanda grab his arm and pull him towards the Dark Order. "But…" Allen's protest was stopped by a pair of warm lips. "No buts." Before Allen can react, he was embrace by someone. "Lavi…"
"Sorry Moyashi. But you are ours now." "Ours?" Allen was confused. "Yep! I and Yuu were interested with you for a long time. Since you love Yuu, I will make you become our boyfriend. Ok?"
"…Ok….Lavi…"
"Yes?"
"I love you."
Merry Christmas.