Title: Cardigans and Cookbooks

Author: luv2sk8er, aka Sophia.

Rating:PG-13. For now. Muahahaha.

Summary: Season 4 finale continued. Yes, it's been beaten to death, Passion of the Christ-style, but I need SOMETHING to tide me over 'til September. Give it a try! L/L with Rory angst. Note the nifty title.

Disclaimer: I own nothing! Nothing! All of this belongs to Amy Sherman-Palladino, without whom there would be no reason to live on Tuesday nights. Well, besides American Idol. Let's face it: This is Fox's world now, and we just live in it.

A/N: My first GG fic. Wrote first chapter in about an hour, without a beta, so it's not exactly a literary masterpiece, but hey. Please don't be afraid to criticize and make suggestions, as I'm not too sure where I'm headed with this story yet. Review and I'll love you more than Lorelai loves coffee and Molly Ringwald combined.

No. No. No. Nonononononononononononono...

Denial. She refuses to let anything pull her down from her cloud of bliss, refuses to let Lorelai's sharp words burst her bubble of illusion and perfection. Her first time was everything it should've been: awkwardness and love and passion. She can't understand why her mother, her best friend, isn't snooping for details, making rapidfire jokes peppered with Tori Spelling references, or hovering over her and asking concerned questions. She trusts Rory, doesn't she? After nineteen years of practically raising her own mother, she should realize that what Rory did was in the heat of the moment, but it would all work out for the best. At least she'd used protection, and she's nineteen, for God's sake.

She's not some stupid little girl, caught up in a naive fantasy. She's not.

No. No. No. No. No. No. Shut up, Mom. Don't ruin this. You're just jealous because you can't bear to see your little girl grow up and being smarter than you were with Dad and knowing that this is perfect and everything I wanted it to be and so much more and besides, you like Dean and we love each other and this will all work out and he's not married now, he's not, if you could just see the way he held me and touched me and I...

Oh, God.

She pushes past a shocked Lorelai and slams the door. She doesn't know where she's going, really, but she needs to get out. Wrapping her coat tightly around her, even though it's a warm May night, Rory whips out her cell phone. She intends to call Lane so she can spend the night at her best friend's hovel of an apartment, but her fingers disobey. Pressing speed dial number nine, she takes a deep breath as she realizes she's called Dean's house.

Lindsey answers. She's not supposed to live there. She's not right for Dean. Rory's right for Dean, not this bimbo. But Dean's married to her. Maybe even loves her. He said he didn't, but she knows now, her vision free from the clouds of fairy tales and fantasy. It's like every insipid teenage romance she's read before, the kind that makes you want to scream at the girl for being such a complete idiot, for being so blinded by love that she can't see the obvious.

That's Rory.

She stopped on the path, unsure of whether to say or scream anything into the phone. Silence is all she can muster until Lindsey finally hangs up. Tears prick her eyes, but she won't cry. She won't let herself cry over him, dammit.

But as she falls to her knees in the middle of the wet grass and hears her mother's heels making their way across the porch, the dam breaks and everything spills over. The next thing she knows, she's kneeling on the lawn and sobbing uncontrollably into her mother's best dress while Lorelai smoothes back her hair and hums soothingly.

Soon, Rory's wails are reduced to sniffles and whimpers. She's cried so much, she actually feels thirsty for the lack of moisture in her body. Lorelai wordlessly stands up and grasps Rory's hand, pulling her up, and begins to walk back to the house.

"No, no, no, no." Rory insists. "Not there. No."

Shaking her head, Lorelai pulls Rory along until they reach the front porch and step inside the house that will never be the same.

"I don't want...I can't talk now." Rory hiccups. "I just, I can't focus and I have to realize the full implications and consequences of what Dean" –she winces at the sudden shock of saying his name– "and I did, and I don't think I can stay in my bedroom ever again, I can barely stay in this house, and..."

"Shhhhh. Take as long as you need to, sweets." Smiling sadly, she draws her daughter into a fierce hug. "I wish I could lie to you and say we'll get through this easily, but I can't. This is gonna be tough, babe, but I'm here. I love you, okay?"

"I love you too, Mom." Tears welled up in Rory's eyes once more, but she fought to keep them down. "I think I'm gonna sleep now."

Somewhat reluctantly, Lorelai released Rory from her tight embrace. "I was gonna go head back to the Inn, but do you want me to stay? I can call Sookie and Michel and have them close up. After they're done dealing with Naked Kirk, the festivities should wind down fast."

"Naked Kirk?" Despite the situation, Rory managed a small snort of disbelief. "You should go back. I want to know every detail."

"See, I'd tell you, but I'm not planning to have you committed to Hartford Memorial's psych ward until after you graduate from Yale."

"Well, maybe not every detail, then." Rory conceded. "But still. You should go."

"Honey, it's just a test run..."

"Mom, no offense, but I need to be alone right now. And this is the Dragonfly. Go." Rory insisted. "I'll be okay." Mustering up a wan smile, she pulled the worn couch blanket over her, laid down amongst an assortment of pillows, and reached underneath the sofa to pull out a battered copy of Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.

"Okay, hon. I'll be back in an hour or so. Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite." Arranging the blankets around her daughter, she kissed her forehead and dimmed the lights before slipping outside.

"Night, Mommy." Rory whispered to the empty room, shutting her eyes tightly as she drifted off into a restless sleep.

"No, I am telling you," Michel whined loudly, "they sent it back! 'The crust is too soggy', they say, 'the berries are too sour'. You should appreciate what I am doing, I am no messenger boy. I am a co-manager of this inn!"

"Impossible!" Sookie snorted. "This is marionberry pie! This is my specialty! Make them eat it! I'll be damned if they'll insult my pie and get away with it!"

"Well, see you in hell then." Michel sniffed. "Again, do I look like a messenger boy? Do I have one of those horrible little caps and a canvas tote? Tiny little shorts? No, no, I am not..."

"Ooooh, Michel, sometimes, I swear to God..."

"Hi," Lorelai interrupted, making her way behind the front desk. "The who and that what-what-what now?"

"She is insulting me again!" Michel wailed. "Make her stop!"

Ignoring Michel, as usual, Sookie turned to her best friend. "You missed all the fun, Lorelai. It took Luke, the fire department, and blueberry muffins to get Kirk out of that tree. Most of the guests went to bed after they got that delightful eyeful–,"

"–naturally–," Lorelai interjected.

"Naturally. So there's pretty much nothing to do except clean up and scream at customers who don't appreciate perfectly-made marionberry pie."

"Good. Great. Can you two take care of that? I've sort of got a...situation at home that I need to sort out."

"Something happen to Rory?" Sookie asked, frowning. "Is she sick?"

"Not the throwing-up kind, but the messing-up kind. Let's just say that the Gilmore household could be the set of a Lifetime movie right about now." Lorelai explained with a sigh.

"Poor kid." Sookie clucked sympathetically. "Bring her some dessert."

"I will. Thanks."

With her black beaded purse hanging from her shoulder and a stack of boxed leftovers tipping precariously in her hands, Lorelai slowly made her way to the jeep. "Curse you, Jimmy Choo." She muttered, attempting to keep her balance on the muddy path.

"Need a hand?" A familiar voice asked.

She nearly dropped the boxes in her arms. "Jason!"

And with that mean ol' semi-cliffhanger, thus ends the first chapter. Hopefully, there will be a Jason/Luke confrontation and some nice Lorelai/Luke to round it off in the coming chapter. Thanks for reading!