A/N: How about a little Evil Charming BroTP? I misread a tumblr prompt and this is what came out of it. I liked how this turned out though.

I know some are sensitive to it. Robin is only in the beginning and is mentioned another time during the story. This is totally a Swan Queen fanfic. Even though Forest Fart is included, which he has to be for the story, I hope this will be read to the very end. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it.

"Regina." Robin's voice woke her from her inattentive state and the pensive frown she wore smoothed out. The brunette mayor forced her lips to spread in a small smile. She looked around Granny's Diner and then back to her departing breakfast companion.

"I'm sorry. What?"

"I promised Roland that I would take him to the park, remember?" She nodded and still could not find the bother to speak. "So I shall see you later than, yeah?"

Her response was to let the smile grow a fraction more. Concern was apparent within her pleasant façade and it was evident that something had been bothering her but her destined soul mate took no notice and she thought that irked her even more. He leaned over then and kissed her cheek and she wondered where all that fire she had felt for him had gone when they were down in the basement of the hospital securing Zelena in her cell. An unwelcome thought invaded her mind and it confused her so much that she shifted uncomfortably in the booth. Was her fleeting passionate display for Robin just a performance meant to rub salt into her sister's wounds?

Regina watched Robin trail toward the door but the door's entrance bell grabbed her attention and she perked up as the subject of her recent contemplation walked through the door: Emma Swan. The blonde's cheeks were dimpling and there was a friendly glow in her green eyes for the diner's patrons that ignited warmth in Regina's belly.

Since they had returned from New York, Emma had been distant. She found that she missed Emma's pleasant demeanor and had thought that the darkness Rumple had intended to plunge into Emma's heart was taking its toll. However, the savior seemed to be more emotionally bereft with only Regina.

The light that shone in Emma's eyes dulled when she noticed Robin approaching and Regina watched as Robin greeted her with a touch to her shoulder that she shrugged away from and responded back with just a barely polite curl at the corner of her mouth. The sheriff watched the forest thief leave and lifted her head in Regina's direction. The mayor was annoyed that she received that same luke-warm smile from Emma and those green eyes shifted to the counter where she directed that beautiful Swan charm to Ruby behind the counter.

Before, Emma would have walked straight up to the booth and plunked down, whether Regina wanted her there or not. She would have forced conversation and Regina would continue to ignore her but secretly be fascinated with the woman's mannerisms and persistence. Over the years, she had grown to count on Emma to do that; to constantly be the one to improve her mood, keep her from losing her temper and blasting fireballs at everyone. They had become friends. Good friends. Regina missed their camaraderie. Emma still was the only person in this town who understood her best; well, besides their son.

With an annoyance she glared at the woman's back as she took a seat at the counter and shared a laugh with Ruby.

"Mind if I join you, Your Majesty?"

Regina was too engrossed in Emma Swan that she did not notice the woman's father approach her table. A few years ago, a witty insult would have been her reply to deter the man from sitting but they were all on friendlier terms now. She gestured with her hand to the empty spot across from her and greeted, "David." She looked around. "And where is Mary Margaret this fine morning? Off playing with her birds?"

The corners of the man's eyes crinkled in laughter and love for his wife. "No. She and Neal are in a Mommy and Me class at Ashley's house."

Regina snickered in spite of herself. "This world… Mommy and Me classes. In the Enchanted Forest a Mommy and Me class would be, 'Here's a breast, little one, drink up. We may perish in an ogre invasion later'."

"The Queen has jokes!" David peered at her with new eyes and then tentatively opined. "Emma's been good for you." Then at Regina's confounded expression he downshifted. "Yeah, I don't miss ogres."

"What do you mean 'Emma's been good for me'?"

"Oh, I'm sorry," he picked up his coffee mug and surprised her with, "You've been good for Emma too." After his sip he placed the cup down and added, "Who would have ever thought THAT would happen? Certainly not me."

The former queen blinked and quipped, "Were you in a car accident on the way over here? Have you a head injury perhaps?"

His signature charming smile filled his eyes and he prodded, "Oh come on, Regina. You can't deny it. You and Emma. You're… good together." He left it at that. David needed to gauge how much Regina felt before divulging his suspicions about his daughter.

Just because he was quiet, it didn't mean he was stupid. He was observant, attentive, and he and Snow had known for a while that SOMETHING was happening between the queen and their sweet princess, even if they didn't know it themselves yet. Snow was patient though. She had told him while embracing his tired worried form in bed many a time that they would figure it out. Mary Margaret had actually been the one to tip him off about it and since then he's been a constant worrier for his daughter's happiness, watching her get closer to the pirate, still holding him at arm's length and all the while perhaps pining for someone else. He was a concerned father.

"David, I know BOTH those women. If you push them, they could clam up even more. You have to FINESSE, not push."

He wanted to push though. Emma's happiness meant everything to him and Regina was a different person now, a trusted ally and friend. If Regina is who Emma really wanted, damn it, he was going to push. He had txted his wife before approaching Regina's table moments ago.

DAVID: You should see the way they're looking at each other.

SNOW: I'm sorry I'm missing the show. I should have gone with you today. The ladies are sharing baby "projectile" stories. Nothing is off limits. Ugh!

DAVID: I'm going to push.

SNOW: David. No!

DAVID: They look miserable! How can two people be so smart and so stupid at the same time?

SNOW: It's not them. It's love. Love makes people crazy. We weren't any different. Abigail, George, Kathryn…

He spied one woman and then the other. He was surprised Emma did not wriggle in uneasiness under Regina's intense scrutiny.

DAVID: I'm going to push.

SNOW: No. Since you're so hell bent on doing this, you're going to FINESSE, David. FINESSE.

DAVID: Do you trust me to handle this?

SNOW: LOL! No. But good luck anyway. Tell me what happens. Love you.

DAVID: I love you too.

He looked at Regina now stealing glances at his daughter who was munching on a piece of toast at the counter. She turned back to him and reasoned, "I honestly don't know what gave you that idea, David but I doubt it. It seems I have done something to upset her. She will barely look at me or talk to me."

The obvious hurt in Regina's voice helped David to rein his impatience in. Why couldn't they see it? "Regina, why do you think that is? You really think she doesn't like you? I may not have raised her but I've gotten to know Emma pretty well. It's crazy but sometimes I think I might know her better than she knows herself and yet oddly enough still not know her as much as you do. Doesn't that sound crazy?"

Regina's mouth opened on instinct to deny his words but something held her back; more a feeling; the same feeling she tried to hone in on, but that would always drift just out of reach. This whole damn thing was confusing all of a sudden, so she went with insulting as she usually did. "You've never been quite right in the head anyway." There. He rubbed his hand over his mouth testily and Regina couldn't help but feel like he wanted to say something. She was convinced that the WHOLE Charming family was certifiably insane. Scanning the savior's actions at the counter, Regina concluded, "She and I are just meant to be at odds with one another. That's all."

"She loves you, Regina!"

The older woman sitting across from David gasped with a wide eyed expression and her jaw worked in shock. "What?"

His wife was going to kill him.

"Emma loves you." He reiterated leaning close so that the words were for her ears only. "I am sure of it. She has been in love with you for a long time."

His daughter was going to kill him.

"David…" Regina frowned but also colored at the same time. Emma Swan? In love with her? The idea was preposterous and yet it certainly could explain the nasty looks Emma had been giving her and Robin, together and separately, since they had walked into Robin's apartment in New York.

"You know I didn't see it either until Mary Margaret mentioned it."

"Mary Margaret? Did Emma say something to her? When? How did this happen?" Regina could hardly contain the nagging curiosity she was feeling in the moment.

"Mary Margaret and I were in bed one night…"

"Skip that part, please," Regina interrupted with a dismissive hand wave and an eye roll.

"… and she asked if I had noticed how you two always LOOK at each other."

"How do we look at each other?" Regina's jaw dropped.

"… with that 'I want you but I can't tell you because I'm afraid you don't want me' look…"

A sinking feeling hit the queen in that moment and she knew she may have been caught by her old adversary, checking her daughter out a time or two. Drat! "Oh…"

"… and so for the next couple days, I watched you two; studied you two, and Jesus, Regina, Emma is in love with you. I never understood before why she was so demanding that we forgive you and see the good in you; why she would wade through HELL just for YOU." Regina covered her mouth with her hand in astonishment. Just what did Emma say to her parents about her? Her eyes skittered across the table top in wonder as David went on. "Emma pushed you out of the wraith's way, remember? I mean she may have done it for anyone but when your mom killed Archie, framing you, Emma said it wasn't you. She fought for you and she was… heartbroken, I think, when the dreamcatcher showed us it was you." Both of them looked dumbfounded now with their trip down memory lane and David prattled on about conversations he had with his daughter where she spoke favorably about Regina speaking of gratefulness and admiration.

"But… but she's with the pirate."

"Because you aren't exactly available, are you Regina?"

Was that a spark of hope that David saw in her eyes, though it was fleeting. He suspected she was thinking of Robin. "You know… nothing is set in stone here." The queen's mouth closed and her gaze sank to the table.

"What if you're wrong? What if…" The mayor nearly let the sentiment trail off in fear, "What if she doesn't… feel that way; the same way?"

"Then you carry on, Your Majesty. But are you willing to let an opportunity to finally KNOW pass?"

It was astounding that all of this should come about right now, Regina thought; how deeply hidden feelings for Emma would resurface with such clarity and with Robin's return to town also. An hour ago, she thought she had everything she wanted, and she still could not fathom why she didn't feel happy. But with David's revelation, she found herself wanting more; wanting EVERYTHING.

Raising her gaze, she glanced at the counter and discovered Emma looking at her form longingly but when their eyes met, Emma abruptly turned around again.

Regina's lips parted in amazement because she could not mistake that look, could she? Was what David said true? Did Emma think her feelings for Regina were not reciprocated and is that why she was dating the pirate? The brunette opened her mouth as if to call out to the blonde even though they were on opposite sides of the room. She leaned forward wanting to go to her but hesitated. What if Emma didn't feel the same? The rejection would be painful. You're a coward with your heart, Regina Mills. This is why you were content with Robin. He was a "sure thing". She scoffed in disgust at herself and she knew she would be breaking up with Robin by day's end, no matter what happened with Emma.

David thought Regina was going to make a move and was disappointed when she halted. Women. He was surrounded by stubborn mule-headed women! He crossed his arms and challenged with a sneer he knew would bother the queen. "Don't be a chicken-shit, Queen I-will-destroy-your-happiness! Get off your ass, march up to my daughter and take her like the Evil Badass you USED to be."

Regina was gaping at him and he knew he stunned her when only a choking breath came from her throat.

"Go get her, Regina, before it's too late."

Something in his tone had her sliding out of the booth and she just stood facing Emma's direction. Was she nervous? She pivoted back and looked at David, still in disbelief at the words he had spat at her. What the hell was the world coming to? He merely pointed at Emma commandingly.

Regina spun on her heel and crossed the restaurant. The closer she came, the more excited she got. They were going to speak. They were going to address this and each step made her surprisingly bolder.

The mayor stood directly behind the blonde sheriff now and cleared her throat. Emma swiveled her seat around and when she saw who had greeted her, her eyes went wide and she roughly swallowed whatever food she had in her mouth, whether it was ready to go down or not.

"Emma."

"Regina."

I miss you. "You have been avoiding me and it hurts. What have I done?" Honesty. She was going to continue to be honest if it killed her because THIS was worth it. If there was a remote possibility that Emma loved her, then it would be worth it because, damn it, Regina loved this crazy, irritating, pain in the ass woman.

Emma's eyes softened but her mouth opened and closed uncertainly. "I… you… you didn't… Regina…"

"I thought we were…" Please want more. Please want more. "… friends."

"We are." Emma shook her head awkwardly searching for a way to verbally relay her feelings. "We are friends." On a long exhale, Emma muttered, "It's just. You and Robin. I… I don't like the way he treats you. In New York, he didn't believe you. About Zelena. I would have. And then he chose Marian, who was really Zelena and if I were him, I wouldn't have and…"

Regina couldn't help the smile blossoming on her lips. Emma Swan was adorable when she babbled. She would never admit it and would probably always act like it bothered her but the blonde was adorable.

"… and I've tried to stay away because I didn't want to tell you all this. I wanted you to be happy. I only want you to be happy. I WANT to make you HAPPY, Regina. Always."

The mayor opened her mouth to try and get a word in edgewise but Emma rattled on, "… And that's another thing. I've had my own shit to deal with since we got back. Feelings I don't quite understand that I've been struggling with and realizing that I've had…" The younger woman's eyes raked up and down Regina's body causing the queen to raise her eyebrow in delight, though the poor blonde looked so confused and attracted by what she saw, "… for a while. But that's not your problem. It's mine."

"Well," the brunette started disrupting Emma and taking her by surprise, "I think it's OUR problem, Emma." The younger woman questioningly narrowed her eyes. It was now or never. "And I don't think it's a problem at all; how we feel about each other…"

"You… You don't?" There was hope in Emma's tone and Regina smiled and shook her head.

"No."

"Wait, you mean you DO? Feel something for me, I mean?" A grin started to grow on Emma's face and puzzled she asked, "Are we on the same page here?"

Regina looked back at David who raised an eyebrow in question and inquiringly held up a thumb as if asking how it was all going. The queen sighed after turning back to Emma. "I sure as hell hope so, Miss Swan. I am saying that you deserve better than the pirate. I am saying that everything you need and want is…" another deep breath, "right in front of your face, dear."

Emma's green eyes widened to their maximum size and she absently nodded slowly. Yes, Regina thought, adorable. "I, I believe it is Regina. I never thought it would be, could be. But… I want it." The corners of her mouth quirked up and Emma's dimple winked at her in reply and then the blonde rectified her statement wanting to be clearer. "I want you, Regina."

A weight was lifted from Regina's body and she suddenly felt lighter and happier than she ever had.

"Well then." Regina had trouble trying to keep a straight face, so she flashed her perfect teeth between her plump red lips. She wanted to rejoice. She wanted to kiss Emma Swan. Her body swayed closer of it's own volition and she noticed the light change in Emma's eyes from wonder to awareness and the blonde's head tilted just slightly anticipating a kiss and her eyes settled hungrily on Regina's lips.

Whoa! Regina smiled even wider, if that was possible and Emma did also as the blonde reached into her pocket and dumped some money on the counter.

"Would you like to maybe go for a walk, Mayor Mills? I think I'd like…" Emma looked at Regina's lips again. "… to show you how things should be between us from now on." Emma's tongue swiped her lips twice to moisten them and Regina's brows rose in obvious understanding and her heart raced at the thought of kissing Miss Swan.

"Yes, I think we have much to discuss."

David watched his daughter slide off her counter stool and if no one figured things had changed between the two women they couldn't ignore Emma turning, seeking out Regina's hand and possessively pulling her out of the restaurant.

The proud prince finished his coffee and pulled his phone out to txt his wife the good news.