A/N Hey guys! I just decided I wanted to do this challenge because well… I'm just insane like that. Seriously, I really want a character on Metamorphic. If you do not know what that story is then go to hell! (Of course if you do intend on actually going to hell I would like to you PM me so I can give you a list of people and objects to bring with you.)

Chapter One (And I hope the only chapter!)

Fang's POV

I was sitting down on the park bench in my classic black jeans, black shirt, black converse. Who ever invented converse sucked at least ten grand out of me on converse.

That was when I saw him.

"Well if it isn't Mr. Sparkles himself," I shot Edward Cullen my famous glare.

He looked at me surprised that I got to see him dressed the way he is. He was wearing a blue tutu over his faded jeans and a baby blue tank top, "AT LEAST I CAN DANCE YOU LITTLE TERD!" Edwardo was already on the verge of tears. Wuss. I didn't even say anything insulting, yet.

"Listen, twinkle toes, I can dance you out of your little fairy, sparkly world." Some times I wonder why he sparkles, and then I remember: I shouldn't waste brain cells on even wondering why he exsists.

Sparky over there crossed his arms and pouted like a five year old girl, "You should not be afraid to release your inner Puck, Mr. Dark, Tall, and Silent."

I rose a questioning eyes brow, was he trying to insult me or compliment me? (A/N If you do not know what a Puck is, it is a magical, flying creature.)

"Is Bella embarrassed of you yet? I know I wouldn't want my girlfriend prancing around like a fairy princess." I know bringing Bella into this was a low blow but it was very affective. Especially since I got to call him a girl. I wonder when he will notice…

"DON'T YOU DRAG MY GIRLFRIEND INTO THIS!" Edward bellowed, I wonder if he noticed I called him Bella's girlfriend, "At least I don't have to worry about my girlfriend, like you have to with Max."

I felt angry for no reason, "Don't drag Max into this you- you perverted, fairy princess, loving, igiot!" I know this was not my best come back, but they are very hard to come by when your beating yourself up so you wont laugh.

Edward closed his eyes trying to cool off as people would put it,"I'm going to do what all real men do to blow off steam. Dance." and he began to do several dance moves that I cannot name. All of them ballet. All of them suspiciously gay…

"I thought men blow off steam by going to the gym." I rose a questioning eyebrow again. That's what I do to blow off steam…

Eddo began doing some weird ballet move in place facing me, "No, Nicholas. True men dance when they are upset. True men express themselves in the art of dance all the time. You see Nikki, you are not a true man." How does he know my real name? Does he stalk me? Hmm…

This is where I lunged at him, I punched his "stone face" in like a dirty pig on Sunday. What does he know about being a man! He's the one who dances around the room like a KCF! (A/N For those of you do not know what a KCF is, it is a Kansas City Faggot.)

"NOT THE FACE!" Edwardo screamed in a surprisingly girly voice. His feet pointed straight in his slippers, and kicking hopelessly. He is a flamer and a KCF. (A/N If you do not know what a flamer is that is just really sad. A flamer is a guy who is openly gay and wear feminine attire.)

"I'm not very sorry, Eddy." I ripped his arm off and listened to him scream like the girl he is, in pain. I continued to rip random body parts of until I was almost reeking of faggoty, vamparistic, gay, smelly, sparkly… dare I go on?

Dare, dare.

Faggoty (yes they even smell like faggots), vamparistic, gay (they leave a smell to), smelly (you can smell smelly), sparkly (you'd be surprised), glowing (no comment), porcelain looking doll (come on guys we all know that because of the gobs of make up put on they look like porcelain), and various other things I will not use my very few brain cells on.

Now what to do, what to do, I know how about burning the little terd himself?

So that is what I did, I started a bon fire and roasted Edwardo until I couldn't even smell the gayness.

A/N Now I am going to get so many flames for all the times I mentioned the words faggot and gay. Listen I have no problem with gays, this is just for the story. Sorry if I offended anyone, oh and flamers I actually have a little job for you. Just for the fun of free, no bit back, flaming. PM me the amount of how many times I used the word gay and faggot, also if you are going to flame me. Please leave me a very descriptive review on what is wrong with my story. I'm not saying I will do anything, I would just like you to tell me. On the off chance that you wont flame me, thank you.

Also the reason I didn't put this in crossover is because no one reads crossovers.

Peace out girl scout,

BTB

P.S If you do not know what an igiot is, read Metamorphic. (I read it all in one shot!)