A/N: Second Digimon fic ever! Inspired by my two favourite episodes of Season 2, aka the only episodes I can watch over and over from that season.
Locked
Sometimes, as he watches Agumon rush into battle, he still thinks about SkullGreymon.
He remembers that imposing, protruding tower of vengeance; vividly recalls that heart-stopping, breath-stealing panic chewing up his chest as the beady green eyes stared deep into his own, radiating madness and hate.
And the guilt. He remembers the guilt most of all. After all, how can he ever forget that hideous manifestation of his own ugliness and darkness? How can he wipe away the image of his partner's round, red eyes, drowning in shame and regret at not living up to his preposterous expectations?
He knows he was a kid then, a mere boy of eleven years caught in the whirlwind of a long-fought war. He knows he was a traveller on an unexpected, arduous journey, and that mistakes are bound to happen. He also knows that from hindsight, this mistake – one of many – was a crucial marker of character development, one which built the experience and maturity required to lead eight blind children through a battle for two worlds.
And yet, looking into the looming red glow of DarkMetalGreymon's eyes, he once again feels that unmistakable crushing guilt surging up his chest and ravaging his parched throat. A stalemate between two partners, two best friends, two halves of the same soul.
DarkMetalGreymon does not recognize him. In the peripheral of his clouded eyes, he watches the giant metal claw burst forth. His knees are shaking but his feet are rooted, frozen. His frame is rigid, awaiting a punishment that a piece of his heart begs for.
A chance to pay penance for his reckless mistake, from the very claws of the partner he had mutilated.
A pair of hands grabs him, pulls him back at the last millisecond. Chaos erupts around him as attacks rain down upon the great beast. He hears his partner roar in pain, in frustration, perhaps in anger over the loss of identity. His guilt magnifies, caught in the rapture of a harrowing déjà vu, once again facing a darkness that he seeded in his partner years back.
His mind screeches. Don't hurt him! Agumon is innocent. This is all my fault. Please stop! Stop!
Soon he is standing on railway tracks. Less than one hour ago, his partner was leaping into his open arms at these same tracks, grateful eyes and affectionate smiles. Now he hangs his head, downcast eyes avoiding the wooden path that he is to continue walking down alone.
Years of camaraderie, of trust, of adventures and memories...can their close bond be so easily shattered by a dark spiral?
Agumon...Agumon...I failed you once again. I am so sorry! What do I do? What do I do?!
A fist knocks him backwards onto the hard ground; a warm sting swells in his left cheek. The fist that had hit him opens up to guide him back onto his feet.
The fog in his mind clears, though the guilt remains. But first he has a more urgent quest to pursue.
Like freeing Agumon from enslavement by the Digimon Emperor.
The guilt, the horrors of SkullGreymon and now DarkMetalGreymon as well, will continue to haunt him when he watches Agumon run into battle.
He can only stay one step ahead and crush the guilt and fear with feigned courage.
One day, he will pay his overdue atonement.
A/N: This was quite the grammar exercise. I didn't realize how difficult it is to conjure the past while feeling in the present. Please let me know if I messed up my tenses somewhere. And please, please leave a comment in the big, conveniently located box below. Thank you very much for reading!
-A ^-^