Random one-shot I wrote for some laughs. Hope you enjoy. :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars.
Standing together in the superlaser control room of the ninety-thousandth version of the Death Star, Luke Skywalker and Han Solo watched the monitor before them in horror.
The countdown being displayed showed they had only thirty seconds to disable the space station's deadly weapon before it destroyed the nearby Rebel base. The heroic duo had managed to land the Millenium Falcon aboard the moon-shaped space station and fight their way past several groups of stormtroopers that didn't have a single one who could aim good to break into the control room, taking out all of the Imperial officers inside with a few swings of Luke's lightsaber here and a couple of shots from Han's blaster there. What neither of them were able to do, however, was find button or leaver on the control panel which shut down the laser. There was very little time left to save their friends before the planet they were on was annihilated.
"We can't turn it off!" Han screamed, firing his blaster at the control panel in all his frustration before turning to his friend who always managed to save the day. "Whadda we do now, kid?!"
"Use the Force, Luke!"
The voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi seemed to fill the room, taking the young Jedi-in-training by surprise. Seeing no alternative way to stop the weapon from firing, he decided to put all his faith into the legendary power taught to him by that old hermit.
Ten seconds remained before the superlaser was to fire. Trying not to let fear overthrow him, Luke closed raised his hand. He allowed himself to become one with the Force so he could use its power. It flowed from him to travel to the power source of the superlaser. The countdown froze on the monitor, indicating Luke had possibly managed to disable the Death Star's weapon.
That was when Han, in all his ignorance to what his friend was doing, uttered those cursed words.
"I have a bad feeling about this."
BOOM!
The Death Star suddenly exploded into a billion pieces. Everything aboard it was destroyed - including Luke and Han.
Down on the saved Rebel base, everybody cheered. They had a perfect view from the planet of the Empire's space station being destroyed. How little they knew that Luke and Han had been aboard it when it had gone to pieces.
"Bleep bloop! Bleep bloop! Bleep bloop!" said R2-D2, as it was all he could ever say.
"Master Luke has done it!" cried C-3PO.
"Rawr!" growled Chewbecca, which was his way of reminding the protocol droid that some of the credit went to Han.
"We are all saved, thanks to my brother and boyfriend!" Princess Leia declared happily. "I can't wait see them when they get back!"
What a shock the princess was in for...
Meanwhile, up in space, someone else had witnessed the destruction of the space station through the windshield of the ship he was travelling aboard.
"There goes another Death Star," Darth Vader said to himself as he face-palmed. "The Emperor will not be pleased to hear we've lost another one."
As Vader flew off in his ship, preparing to report to the Emperor what he would be outraged to hear, he didn't notice a couple of Force ghosts appearing where the Death Star had been.
"You were very brave to choose to sacrifice yourself to save your friends, Luke," said Obi-Wan proudly.
"I did NOT choose to sacrifice myself!" Luke sounded outraged. "I was about to shut down the super laser - then Han said those cursed words and got us killed!"
"Mmm!" As he floated by Obi-Wan's side, Yoda pointed towards Luke. "Screwed you over, Solo did!"
The End.