Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters mentioned in this fic.
This is a Dare Fic.
Peapod, from Vzones, dared me to make a fanfiction.
When Popeye Met Yosemity Sam.
By, Sharingan-User Hatake Kakashi
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"I'm Popeye, the sailor man!" Popeye was about to blow out of his pipe at that moment, but a gunshot rang out, then another, and another, until all you could hear we're gunshots.
And then just as suddenly as they started, the noise stopped and the smoke cleared, leaving a very short man wearing the tallest cowboy hat ever to be created, and the longest, reddest beard, Popeye had ever seen.
"I'm Yosemity Sam! The meanest, roughest, toughest, dog gone-"
"Well, blow me down! You interpreted me!"
"Why you, you interrupted me too!"
"You started it!" Popeye said, defending himself.
"I can do whatever I want! For I am Yosemity Sam! The meanest, roughest, toughest-"
"Yes, I know, already, and I am Popeye the Sailor man!" This time, he actually DID get to blow the steam from his pipe, the whistle sounding loudly, and clearly.
"What was that!" Sam yelled, pulling the hammer on his guns back and aiming in random directions.
"That was. . . my Pipe." Popeye answered, eye widening slightly.
Aiming both guns at Popeye's pipe, Sam pulled the triggers, and shot the pipe, said pipe flying right out of Popeye's mouth.
Popeye watched as, in slow motion, Sam raised his hands, gun barrels staring him down, and then pulled on the triggers, two fresh bullets zooming out, glinting off the sun. The bullets made perfect contact with the pipe, shattering it into a million tiny, wood pieces, leaving the wind to blow the pieces to the four corners of the world.
Sam did a slight victory dance, before he saw that Popeye was reaching into his shirt, "Ahh, so now your ready to fight, man to man, gun to gun . . . to gun!" Laughed Sam at his joke.
Popeye pulled his hand out from the folds of his shirt, and held up the can with Spinach written on the label.
"Spin---ach? Please, NO ONE can fight with that!" Sam hollered, letting lose another round of bullets, their casings showering the ground below.
Not giving out any sort of comeback, Popeye just punched his fist into the can, took out the spinach, and ate it, chewing thoroughly.
Sam waited; hesitate as to why this "Sailor" would want to eat something that looked like, in his own opinion, smashed weeds. But, as we all know, Yosemity Sam didn't have to wait long, for there, right before his very eyes, the transformation started.
First, Biceps bulged, turning into volcanoes before rounding out again; hands also grew, forming sledgehammers before gaining his fingers back. Chest expanded to nearly three times its original size, then deflated. After that, leg muscles ripped under taunt skin, and then shrank back to a walk-able size.
"What in tar-nation!" Yosemity Sam watched all of this commence; now feeling the tiniest bit of fear for the first time in his life.
"You destroyed my pipe!" Popeye's voice rang out in a thundering boom, and then he charged, starting for Sam.
Sam held up his guns shooting fiercely at Popeye, but Popeye, who was well in touch with his animalistic side right now, dodged every single bullet.
Popeye swung his fist back, and then pushed forward, letting it collide with Sam's Jawbone, feeling Sam's teeth smash against one another.
Stumbling back, Sam put one of his guns away, and held his jaw, eyes widening as the sailor came back in for another blow, but this time, he didn't lift up his fist, but jumped instead, sending Sam flying with a roundhouse kick.
Yosemity Sam skidded to a halt on the ground, face thoroughly bruised and hair now musty from the dust and sand that littered it. He pushed himself up and turned around, only to have a fist hit him square in the face, breaking his nose.
"ENOUGH! STOP!" Sam yelled.
Popeye hesitated in his attacking and that was all the time Sam needed to pull his guns back out and shoot at Popeye once more.
Shaking his head, Popeye dodged the bullets and kicked Sam in the face, affectively knocking him out cold.
After that, Popeye went back to his original behavior, and walked over to Yosemity Sam. Then, reaching down, he took Sam's guns and threw them over the edge of the cliff.
Laughing and grinning to himself, Popeye reiterated, "I am Popeye the Sailor Man!"