"Yeah, pal, what are you doing in here?" Sirius asked him. He looked relieved as he saw Remus in the girl's bathroom. Myrtle was like a pain in the ass and was...well...you don't really want to know what exactly she was saying. Anyway.
"I couldn't stand it anymore there, with them (Lily and James) staring at each other, taking off their clothes -"
"WHAT?" Sirius trying to decide whether it was a good thing or bad.
"Not literally, but the way they were staring at each other, one could almost THINK they were."
"Oooohhh." Remus rolled his eyes.
"Anyway, I am in here and I will count till 100, and THEN go out."
"But why?"
"Didn't you just listen to me or what?"
"Yes I did, but I didn't really understand your problem."
"Well, I don't want to be in the middle of James-staring-at-Lily-and-she-staring-back and that – I don't know. It was awkward and I will count till 100."
"1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7,.."
"But I still don't get it." Sirius complained.
"8, 9, 10, 11, 12..." Remus ignored Sirius.
"Huhu, don't ignore me, I know you can hear me and I want to get it. I am confused and I want to be uhm, well unconfused and straight thinking again." Sirius argument ed.
"As you were ever weren't confused and all messed up!" Remus stopped counting.
"Yeah, that is not true. I am never ever confused...except now and then in Flitwick's class and in Slughorn's class and all the other classes I don't like and cannot stand, because-"
"You never listen and play pranks on Lily or Snape."
"I do listen. I just don't write notes and all."
"Oh Puh-ease! I take ALL the notes AND do the listening for you! Anyway...13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20..."
"How can you do the listening FOR me? I don't get it. You confused me again!" Sirius sulked.
"Muhahaha!" Myrtle started laughing out loud.
"What?" Sirius gave her a dirty look.
"You are confused again! And you claimed that you NEVER ever are confused!"
"So? What is so funny about it?"
"Well, don't you get it?" Myrtle was laughing.
"Yes, I do, but that isn't funny." Sirius said. But Myrtle was still laughing and then she just left the bathroom through her toilet, as usual.
"Gee, she is kinda awkward and stupid!" Sirius said to Remus, but he just rolled his eyes and continued with his 30's.
"31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37.."
"Mooooooooney! I am bored. Stop counting and talk to me." Sirius pleaded.
Remus just shook his head and continued.
"Moooooooooney...please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Pretty please???"
Still nothing.
"Fine, I will go out and tell James that we did have a thing and I still love you!"
"WHAT?"
"haha! You stopped counting. Now please talk to me!"
"Sirius! That wasn't funny at all."
"Oh yes, it was. Your expression!!!!!" Sirius couldn't stop laughing. As Sirius said that Remus almost chocked and shouted out "what".
"No, Sirius, not funny at all and I don't get it. James would know that you are just crazy and wanting attention again."
"I never ever want attention. I am pretty much happy, when I am all alone and don't have any attention whatsoever! I hate the crow of girls hanging on me and all wanting me to shag them and go out with them. Be their date and their boyfriend. Me attention no! Never."
"Mhmm. Yeah, I so get the picture. I remember we left you for two minutes alone without attention, because Wormtail had eaten again the puking pastille again. James and I were just calming Peter, that he will be fine and all."
"I remember that. I tried that too."
"Oh yeah, and how did you try it?"
"I don't remember that part!" Sirius tried to avoid the topic.
"You took his puking bag and jumped on his bed and screamed :"I am Peter the puking-man" and then you jumped on his leg, which made you lose balance and not only did you break Peter's leg and the bed but you even spilled the whole bag on Peter."
"I don't recall that! No, I was trying to help Wormtail to be happy again."
"No, you just wanted to have attention and blamed everything on Peter after he was all cleaned up again."
"Well, it was his fault. Why did he have to be down? Wasn't puking for the first time that much! And you guys were talking to him in a baby voice and well, I just got sick of it and tried to be -"
"You. Yes, we know."
"Whatever. I do not need attention! Not one bit of it."
"Oh puh-ease. You would die if all those groupies of your's wouldn't swarm around you."
"Would not!"
"Would too."
"Would not."
"Proof it."
"How? They just love me too much, they won't let go of me!"
"No, I meant try to proof that you can hold still for more than a couple minutes without having the attention."
"Fine. I can do that. So, tonight, when we sleep?"
"No, that doesn't count. Because you SLEEP!"
"So?"
"So? That is cheating! That's why! Now."
"Sleep?"
"No dumb butt, your proof."
"But I am not tried."
"Sirius."
"Moooooney."
"Let me count till 100 and you shut up."
"But-"
"Nah, I decided and so it will be. Or else you lied."
"Me? Lie? I am Sirius The Great. I never ever lie!"
"Mhmm."
"Don't you believe me?"
"Well, proof it then. You don't lie and don't want attention!"
"Fine!"
"Fine...1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20..."
"Hey! You cheated! You already counted till twenty!"
"Yes, Sirius, I just right now did!"
"No, I mean you did it twice! That is cheating and it takes the double amount of time! You have to start from twenty."
"Sirius, I just did!"
"No, no, you started from one, you have to start from twenty!"
"Fine."
"Fine. Go ahead. But now you just have to count till 50."
"How so?"
"Because you have to subtract the twenty from 100 and then subtract your cheating, which will be another 50 points, and that makes 50."
"No, that makes 30."
"No, I calculated."
"Well, you shouldn't to that. That is bad for you brain."
"True, but I did it. And you have to count till 50 now. Go."
"Okay, okay, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20."
"Hey, you cheated again!"
"Sirius!"
"Moooooney! You cheated!"
"SIRIUS, I WILL COUNT FROM ONE TO FIFTTHY AND THAT IS IT! SO SHUT UP AND PROOF IT OKAY?"
"But-"
"NO BUTS!"
"B-"
"Ah!"
"I didn't want to say but, i want to say Because."
"That doesn't make sense whatsoever and now shut up and let me count."
"Okay." Sirius said, not wanting to tempt Remus to yell again.
"1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22.."
"Huhhhmmmmm Huhhhmmmmm Huhmmmmm" Sirius was humming a song, then he started to whistle, then he started to jump on one leg and whistle.
"STOP! NOW!" Remus shouted.
"Already done?" Sirius asked innocently.
"No, but I will never finish it, because you are distracting me and that annoys me and I cannot count. I lost count! Thanks to your humming 'Mary had a little lamb'.
"Oh no, I was humming 'Remus ate the little lamb'" Sirius grinned.
"Fine then, 'Remus ATE THE LITTLE LAMB'!!! very funny by the way!"
"You think so?"
"No!"
"Oh."
"Sirius, you aren't so stupid normally. What did you have today in you drink?"
"Caffeine! I loooooove it!"
"Oh Sirius! No Caffeine for you. Remember when you drank caffeine before arriving here at Hogwarts after the summer vacation?"
"Nope."
"You sang as McGonigal started to talk. Then he said you should be quiet and for a while you were, but then you said you must go pee, and asked out loud. You were much toooooo hyper!"
"Oh, that's why McGonigal doesn't like me anymore?"
"Anymore? She never liked you that much. Ever since you put toothpaste under the handle of the door and she touched it or you put shaving cream on her face. Heaven knows how you did it."
"I did?"
"Yes you did."
"Oh, guess I am a genius."
"Maybe...okay, I think they are gone anyway. I guess we can go out and you may take a nap or so. I don't want to all hyper active during dinner!"
"But you didn't count till 100,000. You must start from one and I will be not wanting attention. I promise."
"Oh, well, I lost count and I don't feel like counting anymore. Come."
"Fine, but don't blame me for not proofing!"
"That doesn't count. You are drunk of caffeine. You owe me!"
"Moooney! That's not fair and you know that!"
"Sure. Now come."
"I want to spy on them a little more. Puh-ease."
"You already know my answer, no, but will you listen?"
Sirius grinned "No, of course not."
Remus rolled his eyes and they left the bathroom.
Author's Note:
Hey guys, well, how did you like it? I don't like it that much, but oh well! Please review and let me know whether it was good or not!