A/N: This is my first fic here ever so I hope that I'm doing this right and you guys don't bombard me with flames! I'm extremely nervous about this fic because I don't know how many people will like it but my friend has been pressing me to post it up for a while now and so, here I am. I hope I do this paring justice and if not please tell me because I would appreciate your constructive criticism. Thank You, now enjoy (I hope)

Disclaimer: I would love to say that I owned Harry Potter but then you would probably wonder why I still shared a room with my sister instead of shipping her away to a boarding school in Switzerland with the amount of money I would have. So NO I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR THE CHARCTERS…now please don't sue.

Chapter 1: That Selfish Bastard!

I always thought that there was something in his eyes. Even when all the insults were being thrown and our fists were gripping our wands so tightly that our knuckles would turn a shade of white.

It was as if we were gripping onto life itself and if one of us should let go of the wand or the glare we always seemed to find penetrating through each other, the life would leave us and we would cease to exist.

It was a game- that I knew for sure, that tested not only intelligence but also strength. It measured who could deliver a retort the fastest or who could give the other a look so menacing the other would want to wither away and hide in a shell they didn't know they possessed.

It was a game that tested who displayed weakness easily and who had more power than the other and usually in my case, he always seemed to have more power. He always seemed to be able to compose himself faster than I could. So while I was still dwelling on a thought that he let slip accidentally or purposely, he would already have moved on. He would have already came up with another retort that would render me speechless and leave him to win the banter.

It had become routine really. Get up, go to breakfast, have a row with Malfoy, go to morning classes, have another row with Malfoy, go to lunch then have a row with Malfoy, go to afternoon classes, have dinner, have one final row with Malfoy and finally, go to sleep.

It was almost- dare I say it, comforting.

It was comforting because it stayed constant. It stayed constant even with all the mayhem that seemed to be happening in the wizarding world.

It was a way to assure myself that things weren't changing and weren't going to change.

How sick and strange I must have been.

To take anything that had to do with my sworn enemy into consideration as good, merlin, something must have been wrong with me.

But all the same the bickerings with Malfoy allowed me some sanity which is really ironic because when you think of Malfoy, the word that comes to your mind isn't sane, or sanity. It's a word more like arrogant, self- centered, bastard but no, no, not sanity.

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So its wasn't a surprise but more of a shock when I found out that Malfoy tried to or almost but couldn't bring his miserable self to murder Dumbledore. It wasn't a shock that Malfoy would attempt such a thing- good heavens no. It was more of a shock because it was a change from what usually happened.

It was a change brought on by one of my sworn enemies who although I'm sure it wasn't known to him kept my life at a constant.

This would definitely complicate matters because he would be charged with attempted murder by the ministry and would no doubt be found guilty and would be shipped off to Azkaban taking another piece of my life with him.

I suppose Malfoy's situation was the final straw on things because I thought if Malfoy could leave my life (although that wouldn't be terribly bad) then everything else could.

I know it is completely selfish of me of me to think about my life when the world is in danger but in the back of my mind, I couldn't help thinking about it. It was a sign that things were changing and I didn't like it.

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So I found myself in the summer of sixth year stuck in my bedroom- which was under extra protection by the order because I couldn't go fighting with them.

They said they didn't want me to face any danger which translates to – you would be a burden and we don't want your death on our hands. So there I was, stuck with no where to go and nothing to do so naturally, one was bound to get selfish in a time like this.

One was bound to think about change and how much one hated it and one was bound to curse that stupid blond ferret for going about and messing up the natural order of things.

One was bound to blame him for causing this whole mess by attempting to kill Dumbledore which led to him to die at the hands of Snape and made me stuck in my room while me friends were out fighting.

One was bound to blame him for not just sticking to his snide and rude remarks that he made about my hair and clothes but felt he had to add to his evilness by attempting to murder a great wizard.

These were what I was reduced to doing so I was more than happy when I got a letter form Hogwarts saying that I was expected to return.

I t brought me some long lost joy that soon died out at the realization that my two best friends might not be there.

So I found myself boarding the Hogwarts express on September 1st by myself after looking for Harry and Ron and not finding them. I couldn't even see Ginny which made the situation all the more depressing.

After waving a long goodbye to my mum and dad who were being escorted away by some people from the order, I went inside an empty compartment and got ready for the long journey that was cure to come careful not to let any tears drop out of my eyes.

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The hours went surprisingly fast or maybe that was because I was half conscious during the whole ride.

As soon as I got to the castle, I found that things had changed so much.

For one, McGonagall was the new head mistress and after she greeted everyone, and everyone ate their dinner, we were expected to go to our rooms.

I already knew that I was head girl which was why I sat at the head table but I still had no idea who was head boy and to tell you the truth, I didn't really care. There was no joy in being head girl with no friends to share it with.

But I still found myself being escorted by McGonagall to the head quarters and before she left, she said ' Try not to hurt the surprise you find' or maybe I was just too exhausted form the day and didn't hear right.

So I said the password to the huge portrait holding me back from a wonderful sleep and walked in.

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As soon as I the portrait hole opened, I wished that it would close right back.

There standing at the doorway was my sworn enemy who seemed to not have noticed that I was there because he ignored me. Well, he ignored me at first until he decided to take his pale face out of the clouds that seemed to be consuming him.

The next thing that happened didn't even register in my mind until later when I was dwelling on the memory.

Malfoy looked up with his pale, arrogant, conniving face and when our eyes met, something triggered.

Something triggered in me because I was shocked at the face that I was currently staring at.

It was still the same pale, aristocrat one except it seemed that something changed. There also seemed to be something lying deep behind those pale blue orbs waiting to come out.

What made it even worse was that it seemed to be directed towards me.

A/N: Well, that was chapter one of this story. I hope that you guys liked it and that things didn't move too fast. I felt they did but please let me know what you think so that I can possible make things better. Also, if you guys have any ideas please don't hesitate to tell me. I'll try top update faster if I see that people like this story so please review!!!!