Wood and Diamond

Disclaimer: I do not own anything pertaining to the world of Twilight. Stephanie Meyer does.

*

I stared at her. God, she was perfect.

Perfection exuded from every pore in her body. Her beautiful, warm, human body. Her lips were parted slightly as she smoothed the lace against her lithe figure. The beautiful, enchantingly dark eyes I could lose myself in were narrowed in concentration. Hair coiled and shining in the dim light, she reached up her dainty hand, adorned it with a sapphire-studded silver comb and took a step back to analyze herself critically in the mirror.

She twisted her features, making a face at herself. I shook my head and allowed a ghost of a smile to flit across my face. She was still my Bella.

My smile turned painful as she lifted her hand again to stare at the glittering stone that took up most of her finger. I glared at it. Stupid, overzealous bloodsucker… She seemed to be thinking along the same lines, as she turned the ring over so the bare gold surface replaced the diamante one.

I scoffed. Bella didn't like expensive trinkets. I hope she had yelled at him for giving it to her.

I relished in the thought for a moment before I realized she had turned from her reflection to stare out the window. Panicked, I remained perfectly still as she padded silently over to the open window and leaned on the sill. I held my breath as she took a deep one, gazing into the quickly darkening sky. I shifted my eyes upward as well. It would be twilight soon.

Someone interrupted her from her thoughts, as she turned from the outside to look in. I took the distraction to move deeper into the shadows, not wanting to be discovered. She gave a reassurance to someone before directing her gaze back to the woods beyond the big white house. Unwinding her arms, she absently fingered the silver bracelet that adorned her wrist, running her thumb over the small wooden carving. I felt a stab of pain in the pit of my stomach. I didn't know whether I should be honored she was wearing my gift or very upset.

One thing was certain: I was painfully aware that this small charm that served as a reminder of my immeasurably deep attachment to her would be the only part of me that would ever stay with her. The only thing that I could ever give her.

He would get to give her the car. He would get to give her the house. He would get to give her the clothes and the jewels and the money and the life she could only ever dream about. And yet… it was not materialistic things I craved so desperately to give her.

He will be the one to wake up to her shining face every morning. He will get to brush the strands of dark hair from her eyes and kiss her soft skin. He will… He could love her. He could love her every day for the rest of eternity and he would know that she could love him back for just as long.

My chest constricted painfully. I would give anything to be in his place. If it meant abandoning my life and giving up any worldly possession I would do it. But to be in his place, I would have to go beyond worldly. I would have to fight impossibility.

My sun would have to fight his eclipse.

Bella's fingers worked their way through the silver links, finding the glittering crystal opposing my carving. I sighed heavily. Always opposite. Vampire and werewolf. Cold and warm. Diamond and wood.

I just never thought she of all people would prefer extravagance.

I looked up at her and my heart jolted when I realized she was looking back at me. Her dark eyes smoldered and bore into mine with an intensity I had only experienced once before. Her face, however, in stark contrast, was calm and serene. It was as if she had always known I was there. Her hand slowly reached out to me, her palm turned upward, unsure. Suddenly, she closed her eyes and sighed. She retracted her reach and slowly opened her eyes. Gazing heavenward, she breathed my name.

"Jacob."

I briefly closed my eyes. The thrill of hearing my name roll across her tongue never failed to send shivers down my spine.

She sighed once more and released the pendant, letting the bracelet settle on her wrist. The diamond pendant sparkled in the twilight, illuminating her enchanting face with a multi-faceted glow. My breath hitched in my throat and my heart constricted painfully. She was a vision. A vision that I could only ever admire at a distance.

Someone came to the window beside her. A snowy hand was placed on her shoulder, and she turned with a small smile. I watched helplessly as her figure left my sight and was replaced with the small, pixie-like vampire. The dainty bloodsucker reached to close the window. A slight breeze brushed by, and she stiffened. She paused, narrowing her eyes as she peered into the approaching darkness. Immediately, her gold eyes locked with mine. Her jaw dropped slightly in shock as she took in my form that had been absent from Forks for quite some time. I bowed my head in acknowledgement; she came to and mirrored my action. As she stared at me, I could see the pity creeping into her unwavering gaze. Not wanting to be the subject of such sympathy, I shook my tired muscles to life and moved deeper into the shadows.

The window closed with an audible click.

Is this the way it was going to be? I mulled over my thoughts as I shuffled my way through the dense brush. Was I to be the subject of pitiful stares and sympathetic whispers every time I was near her? I sat on my haunches and tilted my head up. The forest was so calm. Everything was quiet, the voices had quelled. I considered leaving. Seeing her was infinitely more difficult than I had anticipated. She had looked so amazing. I snorted. Nothing would ever change. I could never leave her. I would stay with her until she told me to go, human or undead. What the hell was my purpose? Was my destiny to wander the earth in search of something that could make me forget her? Though tempting, I couldn't fool myself into thinking that I wouldn't come back. I would always come back to her, because I was too far gone to forget her.

I sighed. I seemed to be doing a lot of that these days. No… I would stay for the… the wedding. I would stay and see Bella's shining face. God knows she deserved to be happy.

I took a deep breath and howled long and low, slowly building the sound until it died in my throat.

It's just too bad that her happiness didn't coincide with mine.

*

My head snapped to the window as I heard the mournful howl drift across the treetops and into the Cullen's bathroom. The hairs on my arm stood on end as I peered around Alice's head to search the darkening forest for a sign… any sign…

"Bella," Alice chided. "Stop squirming." She pinned a loose curl into my teased hair. "You're making this very difficult for me."

I frowned and stood straight once more. "Did you hear that?"

Alice carefully avoided my eye and shoved another pin into my hair. "What?"

"That howl."

"No."

"Oh."

My shoulders sagged slightly in disappointment. I had been sure that I had heard something. I sighed. Of course he wouldn't come, why would I even… Why would he put himself through…

Alice continued her ministrations and watched me from the corner of her eye. "You know Bella… If you're nervous about tripping down the aisle, I can tell you that you won't."

In spite of my previous angst, I smiled. "Thanks Alice, but I'm ok. It would be too out of character for me not to fall over. People would be suspicious if I made it to the altar in one piece."

Alice giggled and arranged the last curl to frame my face with a flourish. "There! Simply gorgeous!" She kissed my cheek lightly. "You look amazing Bella. He's going to faint when he sees you."

"I sure hope not. Who's going to hold me together?"

Alice began to put the mounds of makeup and hair products back into the giant leather suitcase that contained them. "Did you want me to do one last touchup?"

Already feeling like I was wearing a mountain of foundation, I quickly shook my head and stepped to the door. "Um, no thank you! Really, I think I'm good."

The tiny vampire's golden eyes sparkled, but quickly turned suspicious as she noticed me inching toward the doorway. "Where are you going?" She demanded.

I casually brushed a hand across my face. "I'm just a little hot. I think I need some air."

"Alright. Don't get too far, you have to get married soon," she shot me a pretend glare. "Don't even think of getting cold feet. Because we'd find you…" She winked and laughed to herself.

I eagerly stepped through the door and flitted down the stairs. I paused slightly to smile at Jasper and Emmett who were arranging one of the hundreds of bouquets that bloomed off every surface in the big white house. Guests would soon be pouring into the venue, amazed no doubt by the extravagance of the wedding. Even though I hated the extra effort, I had to admit that Alice was a genius at planning large events. I looked back over to find Jasper and Emmett grinning as they took in my appearance. I smiled and ignored my shoes as I opened the back door to step onto the cold stone path that led to a small clearing before the dense woods. I could hear Emmett whistling appreciatively at my back. I rolled my eyes and sauntered down the path. Being careful to not damage my dress, I sat on a small bench that faced the border of trees and breathed in deeply, trying to assemble my scrambled thoughts.

This time tomorrow I would be a married woman.

Just announcing that in my head gave me the chills. I felt slightly nauseous. I wondered if Alice would be upset with me if I threw up and ruined all of my makeup…

Regardless, it was happening. I loved Edward, and he loved me. We were getting married, announcing our eternal commitment to each other in front of everyone we cared about… well almost everyone.

This thought sent another wave of nausea through me. I was almost beside myself with worry over him. Why couldn't he just come home?

It's your fault.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to ignore the dull pain emanating from the guilt. I knew it was my fault he left. It was my fault he had ever felt any pain… My Jacob. Ugh. I didn't even deserve to call him mine. He cared so much about me, and I continued to reject him over and over. Why should I even have the slightest hope of him returning, much less coming to my wedding. How masochistic could he be? How was it fair of me to want him here? Hadn't I hurt him enough?

To my horror I felt a solitary tear trail down my cheek. Alice was going to kill me.

Why couldn't he just hate me? Why couldn't he just forget about me? Why was I crying over him on my wedding day…?

I shook my head and wiped the tear away impatiently. Crying was no use. Jacob wouldn't want me to waste tears on him. I stood and straightened my dress. Brave face, Bella. You can do this… with or without him.

I went to turn and re-enter the house when a soft breeze caressed my face. As I inhaled, my heart stopped beating. It was the scent of the damp earth mixed with the musk of the forest that made my head turn to face the woods again.

He was there, leaning against an oak tree, watching me.

I didn't dare breathe as I slowly squared my body to his, lest he leave me again.

I stared at him, as he looked at me with the same penetrating stare. For what seemed like a small eternity, we stood facing each other, no words were uttered. My heart was having trouble beating, and I was having trouble breathing. Finally, I couldn't take it. In three strides, I crossed the threshold, and flew into his awaiting arms.

*

I stared at her as she looked back at me. The expression on her face was a mix of extreme shock and relief and unconcealed pain and confusion. I hoped she wouldn't faint.

She made a strangled sound and ran at me, throwing her thin body into my arms. My carefully built concrete wall of emotion crumbled as easily as a child stepping on a sandcastle. The mask I had been forming to keep in tact for this painful day broke as soon as I felt her body against mine. My heart hammered wildly against my chest as I smothered her in my arms. I couldn't hold her tight enough; I never wanted to let her go.

She seemed to be experiencing the same turmoil, as her hands grabbed furiously at the skin on my bare back, pulling me closer to her. I buried my face into her carefully pinned hair, inhaling her sweet scent. She was intoxicating. She was everywhere. In that moment, she was mine alone.

We said nothing, only holding on to each other so tightly, as if our lives depended on it. I felt her body collapse against mine, completely succumbing to my whim. I could feel the quiet sobs raking through her fragile body, causing my heart to stutter once more.

"I've missed you so much." She said, voice barely a whisper.

I didn't respond. She knew that no matter how much she had missed me, I had missed her tenfold. I just tightened my arms around her, forcing myself to focus on breathing evenly.

God, I loved her.

I loved her so passionately, so heatedly, so completely. I wanted her with every fiber of my being. I wanted to take her and run away and spend forever with her.

And yet… I realized as my hands brushed over the white lace of her dress, that I would never have her. I was not her prince in the fairytale. I was not her diamond in the rough… I was her wood. I was the best friend, the best man. I realized that this might be the last time I was allowed to hold her like this. I lifted her off the ground and cradled her against my chest. This moment would be forever burned in my memory.

"Jake," she sobbed.

"Bella," I answered.

She peered up at me through her thick, tearstained lashes. "Don't ever leave me again."

I swallowed thickly, forcing the knot in my throat down. "I can't promise that."

She swallowed too. "Alright. Then just stay here for now. Let's just… stay right here."

I held her close and put my cheek against hers. "I can do that on one condition."

"Anything."

I wiped her cheek with the back of my hand. "You have to stop crying. It's ruining your face."

She gave me a watery smile. "Only if you do." In return, she softly touched my cheek.

"Psh. Those aren't tears. I'm just sweaty."

"Alright Jacob."

We stood motionless for a while. Her sobs quieted and the knot began to unwind itself in my throat. I gazed down at her, fully taking in her appearance. She was so extraordinary, it left me breathless. Like a discarded angel, her hair gleamed in the twilight, forming a halo. The corners of her perfect lips curved into a small smile. My expression mirrored hers. It was the first time I had smiled in months.

Slowly, unwillingly, our bodies unwound. As if reassuring her, I took her small hand into mine and led her to the bench. We sat staring at each other once more, her hands in mine, the smiles erased by our awareness of the situation. I could see the questions burning in her eyes.

"Where did you… How did you…" She shook her head and settled on a question. "Why did you come?"

She didn't mean it insultingly; she was genuinely confused as to why I would subject myself to this torture. I snorted lightly and brought my burning hand to her soft cheek. She closed her eyes into the warmth. "I guess I'm a sucker for punishment."

Bella opened her eyes and I could see the pity creeping into her milky chocolate irises.

"Oh, don't you look at me like that," I mumbled. "I wanted to be here, Bells. I wanted to see you again." I gently tucked a stray hair back into place. "I've missed you something terrible. Every time I close my eyes, you're there. It was driving me crazy." I sighed and ran a hand through my choppy hair. "I needed to see you for real… I was afraid you were becoming a figment of my imagination."

She took my hand again, stroking the back with her thumb. I ignored the tingling sensation her touch always caused, and looked into her eyes.

"Are you scared?" I asked.

I was referring to a hundred possibilities with that one question.

"Terrified." She answered simply. Shuffling closer to me, she leaned her head on my broad chest. "But you're here now, and you're safe. So that's one less thing for me to lose sleep over."

I wrapped my arms tightly around her. "That's right, honey. I'm not going anywhere." I closed my tired eyes. "At least for now."

I felt her weight shift, and I cracked open an eye. She was staring at me, her face inches from mine. I forced myself to breathe evenly, to ignore the ignition in my heart. She had looked at me this way before. I swallowed thickly.

"Bella… you're getting married in an hour."

She licked her lips, I ignored the shivers her sweet breath against my face was causing. "I know… I just… just…" Her faced inched closer to mine, her eyes fluttering closed.

I had dreamt of this moment for the past six months. I had dreamt of her perfect lips crushed against mine, of me holding her in my arms and whisking her away, perhaps even down our own wedding aisle. I had dreamt of her looking like she did now for me. But as I took my hands and brought them to her face, I realized that those dreams were just dreams, and she was not mine, never mine to dream about. It took every possible ounce of strength in me to push her away lightly and place a chaste kiss on her forehead.

Bella seemed to snap out of her stupor and appeared to be slightly shocked with herself. Breathing a sigh of contempt, she brought her hands up to frame my face. We sat there, holding each other's heads in our hands for a minute, our chests rising and falling, our hearts beating in synchronized time.

There was a tinkling crash from the house, and an angry high voice that followed. The crash interrupted our thoughts and brought us back to reality. I dropped my hands and cleared my throat, standing and offering Bella my hand. She took it and stood facing me.

"You should go." I didn't want her to.

She looked back to the house. "Yeah, I guess I should." No, I wanted to reach for her. Don't go.

But I didn't move. I just stood there lamely, holding her hand. She stood between the house and the woods. Her future life, and her past life. Diamond and wood. She came toward me cautiously, and wrapped her arms around my torso.

"Goodbye, Jake."

She knew this would be the last she saw of me for a while. She knew I would be leaving the second she let me go. I ignored the wetness on my cheeks. I gently hugged her back.

She broke the hug and gazed up at me with an unfathomable expression.

"I love you, Jacob Black."

She stood on her toes and my heart stopped as she brushed her lips against mine. I stood frozen as she pressed them softly to mine in an unforgettably sweet kiss. It took everything not to pull her in deeper. I controlled my emotions and remembered the last time I would kiss Bella Swan.

Breaking the kiss, she peered into the depth of my black eyes, shocked with the amount of love I held for her within them.

"I love you more, Bells."

With that statement hanging in the air thickly between us, she dropped her hands from my face and stood about a foot away. Though the distance was small, it felt like the protective wall between us was suddenly resurrected.

"I'll never forget what you've done for me, Jake." She spoke quietly, sincerely. "You put me back together when I was shattered. You sewed my heart back together."

I gave her a small smile, ignoring the irony that I wasn't the one who had her heart.

"I told you. I'd love you until your heart stops beating."

She met my gaze with her challenging one, slightly fearful. "And when it does?"

I ignored the jab and shrugged. "I'll still love you. For as long as my miserable life lets me."

Bella paused, thinking about this. "You'll find someone, Jake. I know you will."

I rolled my eyes and grunted. All I wanted was you.

Someone was calling her name. She turned and looked toward her future, then turned toward me and stared at her past. I gave her one last look of longing before I turned my back on her and slowly began to walk into the awaiting forest; my future.

"Goodbye, Bella. I hope you're happy."

I couldn't watch her walk away. I had seen it too many times before. I had to be the first one to leave.

She said nothing, and when I looked back over my shoulder, she was gone.

*

This was it. I was getting married.

I peered up shyly into Edward's loving golden eyes and I felt myself blush. Way to go Bella. Embarrass yourself further.

I couldn't focus on the words. I was too busy staring at Edward. There was no one around us, it was just me and him in our beautiful world. He smiled brilliantly, love pouring out of every orifice in his body. Pure adoration in his golden eyes. God, I didn't deserve that love.

I thought briefly of Jacob, even though I knew I shouldn't. I wonder where he was going to go. I knew he would be safe.

I peered out at the crowd of family and friends gathered before us. Everyone was smiling, their eyes dotted with tears of happiness. I inhaled. Everyone I loved was here.

A movement caught my eye. He was standing, leaning against a pillar near the door. If he hadn't moved, I wouldn't have even noticed him. Jacob watched silently as Edward professed his love for me. My head snapped back to him as I repeated the words.

"I do."

I looked back through the corner of my eye and I caught a glimpse of russet skin, silently closing the opened door behind him.

A tiny part of me broke inside, knowing that I had broken Jacob for the last time.

Edward took my chin in his hands and brushed his lips against mine. I sighed happily. I knew that Jake would find his happily ever after too.

*