for so many years I watch from afar as you grow older, get married, have children.
it makes me feel horrible and gives me an ache in my heart however at the same time it makes me smile.
kind of ironic isn't it?
how you were the one who had to go your whole life wanting someone you can't have, and yet it's me that gets screwed in the end.
I wish I knew how you felt. I wished I wasn't so depressed.
I wish more then anything that I didn't kill myself that maybe someone stopped.
that I wasn't so bloody stupid as to hurt you and watch from here as you cried for so long over my death.
how you couldn't, still can't get over the fact the one you loved is dead.
how I have to watch you grow old with someone that's not me because I was blind and didn't know all I needed to feel better was you.
but one day you'll come and meet me here and we can finally get the happily ever wanted that you always wanted and deserved.
that is if you forgive me for killing myself.
for being so stupid to leave you by yourself with nobody to take care of you.